EVAN WOLFE

For the first time since I can remember, I didn't reach for my little metal box in my drawer when I went upstairs for a shower. Something inside of me was beaming with pride and I couldn't bring myself to ruin this feeling, it felt so alien to me and I never wanted it to go away.

I let the hot water hit my body, closing my eyes tightly as I enjoy the feeling of the warmth. After I cleansed my body of dirt and blood, I threw on a black oversized hoodie and some grey sweatpants. My body was exhausted and I felt battered but I was proud of myself and it made the pain go away.

When I went back downstairs I wasn't expecting Caleb's pack to still be here. It worried me how much both of our packs got on. I poked my head round the door of the kitchen and my eyes watch as Ava holds Aurora and Zara gushes at her.

I slowly back away and move into the living room which was thankfully empty. I glance out the window and watch as heavy rain patters onto the glass window, the rain was so relaxing.

My feet carry me to the large windows and I stare outside, my breath behind to create condensation on the glass. I follow the little rain droplets with my eyes and listen to the sound of pattering.

"Are you not even going to thank me for saving you pups?"

My body jumps at the voice and I hit my forehead onto the window.

Caleb stifles a harsh laugh as I turn towards him and rub the spot on my skin that is beginning to pulsate.

When I look up to him he quirks an eyebrow in my direction and crosses his arms over his chest, his face as cold as stone.

"Why would I thank you?" I challenge. Caleb didn't like this reply because his jaw ticks. "You've threatened to kill me before so,"

I wait for him to say something but he doesn't.

"So the real question is why did you save me?" I ask as I jam my hands into my hoodie pocket and I lace my fingers together. "I could have been gone. Out of your life. So why didn't you just leave me there?"

My eyes bore into his, all he does is listen to me.

"Or was it because you wanted to do it yourself?" I ask taking one step closer to him, our chests almost touch.

His green eyes scan my face quickly as his cold stare drops for a split second. "I could never hurt you," he admits, his voice is barely above a whisper.

My heart pangs in my chest at his words and it makes me feel giddy inside. It sounds pathetic because your mate should never hurt you and they should never have to tell you that. But the fact that I actually thought he wanted me dead and now he's admitting he wouldn't hurt me does strange things to my wolf. He actually feels accepted.

"Why?" I say quietly. "You were ready to snap my neck a few weeks ago."

Caleb lowers his eyes and drops his arms to his side. "The bond," he says to the floor before glancing back at me again. "It would kill me, nothing more."

I laugh to myself, there it is. The catch.

"You're just scared," the words slip out of my mouth before I can register what I'm saying.

"Scared of what?" His eyes narrow at me.

"Scared that you're ga—"

My back is slammed into the glass window, Caleb towers over me and I watch as his eyes glare at me with fury.

"Now you're asking for a death wish pups," he says harshly.

I snort through my nose and hold his gaze. "Not like I already have one,"

Caleb's eyes flick between mine, his eyebrows furrow at my words.

"I have fantasised about dying over and over. I've thought about it more times than I've had hot dinners. I've tried and failed more than enough times." I tell him, my voice shakes and I hate how it makes me sound weak.

"What?" Caleb's voice dips in concern.

I just stare back at him and attempt to ignore the tears that have sung my eyes. I know that he's noticed them.

"That's selfish," is all he has to say, he scowls down at me.

I raise my eyebrows towards him. "For who?" I say in disbelief. "I have no family, these guys would have a weight off their shoulders if I wasn't around!" I exclaim as I point towards the kitchen.

"For me and my wolf," Caleb says through gritted teeth.

A desperate laugh escapes my lips. "So I'm meant to keep myself alive for you?" I whisper. "You haven't even spared me a look let alone get to know me."

Caleb lowers his head and exhales a deep, strained sigh. One of his hands comes up to rest on the window beside my head, my eyes flick up his tattooed skin.

"I might not be what you expected," I say as I look back to him. "But I'm all you've got."

He leans closer, I can feel his breath on the side of my face. "It might be hard to admit you're gay," I say quietly.

"I'm not gay," Caleb growls down to me instantly.

I purse my lips as I watch him and debate what to say next. "Okay, it's hard to be in denial—"

"I am not in denial," Caleb's nose scrunches up as he speaks at me. "The moon goddess made a mistake, you shouldn't be my mate."

"But I am Caleb," I say softly almost desperately, maybe if he wasn't so ashamed our mate bond wouldn't be like this.

His eyes shut almost instantly, his body shudders subtly. "Don't say my name like that," he barely makes out.

"Like what?" I ask confused.

When he snaps his eyes open to me they look different than before, his pupils aren't dilated with anger or aggression. They're gentle and honest. I have never seen them so openly green.

"You need to stay away from me pups," he says, his words aren't threatening or concerning. He sounds worried.

"What?" I question. I have no idea what just happened.

He pulls away from me and rubs his eyes harshly. "Just stay away, this cannot happen." He tells me before backing away towards the door.

Just as he reaches the doorway Ava appears and flicks her gaze between us. She stares down Caleb who avoids her eyes, he quickly leaves the room.

"Was he bothering you again?" Ava asks as she approaches me.

I shake my head.

"Don't lie to me Evan, what is going on?" Her voice sounds tired.

"Nothing," I deadpan as I walk away from the window and towards the couches.

"What are you hiding from me?" She tries again.

"I'm not hiding anything Ava," I sigh as I sit down on the couch and clutch a pillow to my chest.

I can see her watch me out of the corner of my eye as I stare at the fireplace in front of me.

"Oh my God," she says after a while.

My attention is instantly turned towards her.

"Oh my God," she repeats again. Her eyes glass over as she thinks and her mouth falls open. She stares at the wall and lets out a breath like she can't believe what she's thinking.

Her eyes find mine. "Caleb," she starts. "He's your mate isn't he."

I have never moved so quickly in my life, I stand directly in front of her and place my finger to her lips. "Shhh," I say.

Ava just smiles back at me. "I knew it," she mumbles to herself.

"You cannot say anything Ava," my face falls with concern. She just stares back at me. "Promise me you're not going to say anything."

"Your secret is safe with me Evan," she shrugs effortlessly.

"And that means Jaxon!"

She holds her hands up in defeat. "I promise I won't tell anyone," she says. "Now it makes sense that he was here the other night, I knew something was going on."

"It doesn't matter anyway, he doesn't want me." My fingers begin to fumble with the string on my hoodie.

"He might not now but he will soon," Ava's hand places on my forearm. "He literally will not be able to deny the mate bond."

I sigh so deeply it hurts my lungs. "But I want him to like me for me, not because of the mate bond. I want it to be real and not feel artificial."

"What isn't there to like?" Ava frowns at me.

I laugh sourly. "Everything,"

"Stop it," Ava says instantly, her voice sounds so harsh that it makes me look into her eyes.

She's staring at me with a deep meaningful look. "Just stop it right now okay?"

Her tone makes me stop and think for a second. "I wish, I just wish that you would see what we all see. A young courageous and brave boy who has nothing but love and care in his heart."

My throat becomes dry and I attempt to swallow. "What you did today, what you did for me a few years ago, the way you have been able to carry on with your life regardless of what has happened to you and what you've experienced. You are strong Evan, you are so strong. You are wise and you are one of a kind."

Her words make tears build in my eyes.

These are the words I've needed to hear the whole of my life because they are words that I have never heard.

"You might not see it but one day you'll know exactly what I am talking about," her eyes flick between mine. When I blink a tear slips, before I get the chance to wipe it away Ava has already gathered me in her arms.

We share a long hug that I didn't know I needed. Ava rubs my back soothingly and she pulls away to keep me at arms length. Her eyes meet mine again. "If he is too stupid to realise how amazing you are then it's his loss. You always have a family here with us, never forget that."

More tears leak out of my eyes.

This time she wipes them away and her soft hand lingers on my face for a few moments. "Look how far you have come, you've grown from a shy boy into this sassy, brave young man." She cracks a smile and she earns a small chuckle from me.

"You know we all adore you, don't you?" She questions.

I shake my head towards her. "Well we do, every one of us. I know Jaxon and some of the boys don't show it but we are proud to have you in our pack. You are one of us."

My lips twitch up as I listen to her talk. "Thank you for guiding me, without you I wouldn't be half the person I am today. So just thank you for always believing in me." I say with my whole heart.

"You're like the brother I never had," she grins at me.

I breathe out a laugh and nod.

"Right," Ava announces. "Let's get back into the kitchen and show who is a bad ass bitch to that stupid mate of yours."

I can't help but laugh as Ava places a hand onto the middle of my back and guides us out of the living room. "How are we gonna do that?"

Ava scoffs at me. "Well I'm going to boast about you obviously." I watch as she rolls her eyes at me like it was the only possible answer.

I beam at her and enjoy the feeling of warmth in my heart.

At least if Caleb didn't want me, I knew that Ava thought the world of me and somehow it instantly made me feel better about everything.

. . .

Hello my beauties!

I would love to know what you guys thought of this chapter! Any comments are welcome, and don't forget to vote❤️

Erm I love Ava and Evan so much😭😭

Is Caleb growing on anyone??

Thank you for reading as always, you're all so amazing x

See you guys soon, Savanna x