MEMORY BLACKOUT:
Strong feelings of anxiety can cause the information to be saved incorrectly, which can in turn feel like a blank space in your memory. It's either your brain “represses” the memory or if there wasn't any memory created in the first place.
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Hoseok's and jungkook's p.o.v

they both went towards the car. Jungkook got in the driver's seat and hoseok in the passenger's.

They drove off the alleyway.

It was a complete silence in the car when jungkook decided to break it.

"Hyung?"

Hoseok hummed looking at him.

"Aren't you getting too involved with her?" Jungkook asked worried about his friend.

"What do you mean by that?" Hoseok was confused now.

"You know hyung" he paused "i thought you just had a small crush on her but now I'm worried about you." Jungkook said while shifting the gear.

"Ohh" was the only thing which left hoseok's mouth.

"I don't know kook i just find that I'm attracting towards her she's a total mystery" hoseok let out his thoughts relaxing in his seat.

"But hyung you should be careful I am happy that you are happy helping her but don't you see she's kinda sick?" Jungkook said the last part a bit audible.

"Hmm that's worrying me too you know kook after yoongi hyung I am so scared" hoseok said.

Flashback

"Hyung" a boy in his teens called for a black haired boy who was sitting in the basketball court.

"Seok?" The older boy with scrunched up face looke in the direction of  the boy who was screaming his name and running towards him.

"Hyung hyung!" The said boy came in front of him and caught his breath.

"What happened? Calm down"  the black haired boy said.

"Hyung you need to hurry your father.." hoseok held the shirt of the boy and tried to make him go with him .

But instead of moving the boy kept in his tracks with a poker face.

"Please hyung he needs you" hoseok said now clearly exhausted. He ran all the way to that basketball court from the orphanage he is living in.

"Your father is calling for you I know it's hard for you but please come this time please" hoseok said.

"Father.. huh..?" The said boy let out a breathy chuckle.

"Father's are not like that and he was the one who cut all his ties with me now why is he calling for this  crazy brat who doesn't care for what is he doing" the black haired boy replied and was about to turn away when hoseok held his arm.

"Yoongi hyung please for this once" hoseok pleaded.

Yoongi sighed and spoke up.

"Hoseok you know why i left him?" His eyes were filled with sorrow and guilt.

Hoseok kept quit.

"Answer me" yoongi said now firmly.

"N-no" hoseok replied.

"You would never know" yoongi gave him a sad look and held his basket ball and went out of the court.

Few days passed

"Hyung what are you doing?" Hoseok asked as he saw the black haired guy with a cancer stick stuck between his fingers. He let out a puff of smoke on hoseok's face to which hoseok scrunched up his nose of the awful feeling.

"Smoking you idiot" yoongi snorted as he again placed the cancer stick in between his lips.

"Your father died" hoseok said looking at his hyungs not so surprised or shocked face.

"Don't you have any emotions hyung?" Hoseok looked at him in disbelief.

"Everyone has to come and go so why these emotions?" Yoongi replied as he threw the cancer stick and placed his boot in top of it.

At this point hoseok had tears in his eyes the said man's father who was the regular funder of orphange in which hoseok was living and always treat the children and teachers fairly was dead and here his son was not even going to ask where his funeral had conducted.

How yoongi and hoseok became friends?
Well as yoongi was the funder's son and hoseok wa sthe kid at orphanage. He often in his childhood came with his father to the orphanage. He was a cold child and didn't liked to talk with anyone but hoseoek was complete opposite lf his personality he was cheerful and alwya s tried to talk with everyone but no one try to bw friends with him and that kinda made him sad.

But when he talked with yoongi. Yoongi replied back and that's how thier friendahip started. But later on there were lots of happenings that yoongi didn't came to orphange anymore then hoseok got an information taht his mother died he tried to contact with him but didn't got it.

Atlast the high school where he went was where yoongi was a senior and that's how he found him and they become friends not that much of fast friends like they were in thier childhood but still they were on good terms.

It was not long ago when hoseok found out that yoongi left his house and was doing drugs he tried to convince him to go back and quit those pathetic powders but it seemed not a good idea or most likely an easy one.

So he kept being his friend and that's when he met taehyung. Taehyung was a junior but yoongi seem to be on good terms with him too. Eventually hoseok became friends with him too.

Although hoseok didn't knew much about taehyung he seemeed to be a nice guy but sometimes he just don't want yoongi to be his friend. He was kinda insecure with him but he didn't realise for what?

Till one day there was this incident when yoongi commited suicide...

That's when hoseok was in a great shock and he got really disturbed by the death of his one and only best friend.

End of flashback

Yoongi was depressed. And that took his death. That's why hoseok was so worried... Worried about y/n.

"Hyung??" Jungkook shrugged hoseok's shoulder to whhich hoseok flinched

"You were zoned out what happened?" Jungkook asked looking at a panicked hoseok.

"Oh uh nothing i think I'm tired" hoseok replied.

"Oh we arrived at your apartment go take rest you really are restless" jungkook shooed him after biding him a goodbye

"Thanks jungkook" hoseok said as he made his way up the stairs.

Hoseok went to his apartment, unlocked it, drink some water looked at the time, took his medicibe to calm himself down, then went to his bed and slept.

Next morning ...

Y/n's p.o v

I opened my eyes feeling a bit headache as i saw a strange ceiling which was not of my room I looked to my side and i was shocked. I quickly sat up.

"Why meeshi is here?" I thought to myself as i saw her sleeping on my right side i looked aroudn and saw it was my parents room.

Then the flashback fron yesterday came back.

"They left for real" I whispered to myself.

"Y/n?" A sleepy voice spoke up as meeshi rubbing her eyes "You woke up?" Meeshi asked. "Are you okay?" She questioned.

"Why are you here?" I asked her confused on how and when she came.

"You don't remember?" Meeshsi asked.

"What?" I asked her.

"You had a panic attack yesterday what happened? Y/n why didn't you tell me about these?" Meeshsi Asked worried.

"Right" i whispered to myself "i had an anxiety attack when they left" i kept on murmuring to myself until I didn't realized i teared up.

I started to cry holding onto meeshi as if my life depends on her. I cried so hard.

"M-meeshi t-they l-left"

"They left" i cried again hugging her.

Meeshi's p.o.v

I was looking at her confused when she suddenly started crying and then hugged me.

I hugged her back and caressed her back and hair.

"They left" she kept on saying while crying her heart out i just hugged her back tightly now i got it. Y/n's parent left yesterday but what made her in this condition? I was still confused.

I held her and look at her face to face.

"Y/n look at me it's okay it's fine I'm with you don't worry we are friends right you have me don't worry" i said to her and she nodded wiping her face.

"They even removed my t-ties with t-them" she hiccuped.

"What do you mean?" I asked y/n confused. "First stop crying y/n" i whined looking at her she was crying continuosly.

"They got signed a paper on which they said they disowned me" she hiccuped and cried again.

My heart shattered they shouldn't have done it. It's okay if they want to move to another country but this is too much.

"Y/n enough! Be strong they didn't deserved you. Think that you left them they are not worth for you. You have to live for your own." Meeshi said holding her up.

Y/n's p.o.v

I know she's just trying to comfort me and i appreciate it but I don't deserve her either. I'm just a pathetic human being.

"You okay?" Meeshi asked.

"Hmm" i wiped my face and looked at her and murmured a small thankyou.

"Anytime" she smiled at me. "Now enough you are going to live for yourself from now on so go change up we are going to work" meeshi said as she climed down the bed.

"No I won't be able to meeshi" i looked at her with pleading eyes.

"No y/n you need a change and yeah you also have to pack your stuff you are not going to live here anyways" she said

"How meeshi how" i looked at her with tears in my eyes "why my life is like this" i blurted out loud gritting my teeth I'm angry with my own life.

"Y/n" she said quietly.

"Why i Don't like living like this do you even know how difficult it is for me to survive like this. Do you even you? Of how much pain I'm in" i said to her.

"Everything's gonna be fine y/n you havve to stay strong" meeshi don't have any other words then to comfort her.

"No nothing's going to be fine infact my life wasn't even fine to start with" i said climbing down the bed.

I regretted shouting at her and guilt took over me I looked at her again who was just seeing me standing.

"I'm sorry i also got you in it but you don't have to worry about me I'll handle everything" i said in a low voice.

"Y/n?" Meeshi called out.

"I'm sorry meeshi you can use the restroom downstairs if you want something ask me I'm in my room I'll get ready for the job you are right I've to live." I said and opened the door and went upstairs.

I opened my room's door and started collecting the stuff and piled them up then i took out a suitcase and put my clothes in it i have to start packing up to leave this place.

I put half of my clothes and zipped the bag and stand it in a corner then I took a beige button up and a blue jeans and went to take a shower.

I sat in the bathtub and took out a razor blade as i opened the tap to let my body sink in the warm water.

I stared at the sharp blade and then started stroking it on my arm. I applied some pressure and the blade sunk in the skin causing a shriek of pain through my whole body.

No longer blood starting oozing out of the freshly made wound. But I kibda felt relieved as if my pain and worries were dripping out with the red thick liquid.

Soon the wound started to sting so i quickly tried to wahsed my arm and luckily the bleeding stopped I applied soap and then rinse myself. I wrapped a towel and stood up taking a big bandaid and applied it on my arm.

I changed up and came out of bathroom.

But i was surprised to see meeshi in my room.

"Oh you came out" meeshi smiled she was now wearing a purple shirt with a white pant.

"I made you some coffee i didn't find any ither thing downstairs" she smiled a bit.

I was not used to meet someone this early in my room so i was a bit shocked but i nodded a bit and took the cup from her hands.

"Thanks" I thanked her

"Anytime" she replied and started looking at my room. It was pretty small and had a few things not much.

"Your room is pretty" she said as she sat on the bed.

I started picking up all the files and putting them in a bag.

It was a complete silence in the room.

"So do you remember hoseok came in yesterday?" She asked and i was confused.

"No why did he come here?" I asked her picking up my bag.

"He was there when you had uh" she paused not wanting to mention it again.

I stood there thinking of how did he come here why i can't remember it?

"Well i guess you don't remember just leave this don't overthink" meeshi said as she stood up

"Let's go" she walked out of the room and i followed her.

"I was a bit confused on how he know the way to my house most importantly i felt scared I don't quite remember when an attack like this happened because i take some medicines and they kinda blurred those moments but i don't remember taking any medicines yesterday then how?"

"Y/n you coming?" Meeshi shouted from downstairs.

They both got out of the house as y/n locked the gate.

"It's better to take a walk" meeshi said.

"Hmm" i was still thinking of how hoseok will react he must've hated me now knowing I'm a physco.

Hoseok's p.o.v

I closed the door to my apartment and was about to walk towards the elevator when the owner of apartments came up to me.

"Ahh hoseok" he smiled looking at hoseok.

"Oh good morning sir" he greeted himthe older man smiled letting his wrinkles sink in.

"I was about to take a look of the apartment you can come today by 8 to my office to get the paperwork done" he informed to which hoseok smiled.

"Thankyou so much Mr kim I'll be right on time" hoseok smiled and shaked his hands with the older person and then he walked passed him as hoseok pressed the button on elevator and went on his way.

He walked towards the bus stand but he was in deep thoughts.
He saw the stand and quickly walked towards it.

There to his surprise he saw meeshi and y/n standing probably wiating for the bus.

"Seeing y/n's condition he didn't expect her to come to work today"

"Hey hoseok" meeshi waved her hand at him while y/n was behidn her not wanting to be eye to eye with hoseok.

"Oh hey good morning meeshi" hoseok replied as he looked at you.

"Morning y/n" he looked at y/n.

Y/n's p.o.v

I was scared what will he do will he tell everyone at work of what condition I'm in? What will happen if i would get fired.

"Morning y/n" he called out in his usual aura.

My palms started to sweat. I looked at him in the eyes but didn't replied it was as if no one was beside me only me and ...him?

In about a couple of seconds someone lighlty grab my hand. And when i looked at the owner of fingers which were intertwining mine i let out a gasp.

Am I hallucinating...?

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It was kind of a filler chapter and i just wanted to introduce someone so i did hope you all still like the story...

And if you are reading this chapter after 30/04/2021 make sure to take a look at the very first part entitled "beforehand"

Word count:
2690

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