Chapter Twenty Three 

When Hwan Hyejin first became a Carat, she didn't expect much. She was just like any other fan who adored the thirteen boys. But there was always that one guy from the group that catches your attention more than the others. That was Lee Chan, or Dino, to Hyejin. 

She became uncontrollable with her feels for SEVENTEEN and so she decided to write it down, which quickly escalated to a story. Who knew it would become famous like it is today? She certainly didn't. What she expected with a few readers who would enjoy and understand the feeling a fan girl. 

Now, she wasn't just Hwan Hyejin, a random Carat in the fandom whom the entire SEVENTEEN loves, although they don't know who you are specifically. Now, Hyejin was Hwan Hyejin, the most known Carat in the entire fandom; a famous author with a great book that is sold over thousands of bookstores; and, most especially, SEVENTEEN's Dino friend. 

She thought she couldn't get any luckier. 

But guess what? Her idol crush—or real time crush, at this point—had just confessed to her on this rainy day. It almost seemed like she was sucked into a Korean drama. Like the famous one these days—Goblin. 

Hyejin stared into Dino's eyes. He was happy. He even looked proud. Hyejin would have confessed that she liked him back too, but she was now afraid. She wasn't sure about what exactly. Maybe it was the fact that she would go through another scandal if they ever got together and it would be hard for her to handle all of that again. 

"What do you say, Hwan Hyejin? Will you be mine?" Dino gleefully asked, unable to contain his smile. 

Hyejin's eyes quivered, probably already filled with tears. It wasn't because she was about to reject him, it was more because she couldn't date him. Not because of her own reasons but because the world would turn upside down if they did. 

Hyejin continued to stare at Dino, who held nothing but a happy expression on his face. He looked expectant as he waited for a word to escape from Hyejin's mouth. 

Hyejin looked down at her hand—the hand that Dino was holding onto so tightly. She bit her lip and kept her head hanging low so that Dino wouldn't be able to catch her expression or her glassy and wet eyes. It was a good thing she didn't decide to take off her mask like he did. 

"Dino..." was the first thing that came out of her mouth. Hyejin wanted to be his as much as he probably wanted to be hers. However, she told herself so many reasons why she couldn't—why she wouldn't do it. "I don't... I don't know if what you're doing is right."

Dino's smile slowly fell as he stared at Hyejin. He was still unable to let go of her hand. "What do you mean? I'm following my heart. I really like you, Hwan Hyejin. Please, I don't want to hear a rejection."

I'm not rejecting you. How could I ever reject you? But because our situation is hard, I'll leave my answer to your imagination. 

"Dino, we've been through this once." Hyejin slowly pulled Dino's hand away from hers. On the outside, she was trying to act brave. On the inside, she was already crying an entire ocean. "It's been hard for the both of us."

"Hyejin, don't do this... I will protect you. From the media. From the fans. From my entertainment." Dino tried to hold onto her hand a little longer. "Please."

Hyejin was biting her lip too hard that it could be close to bleeding at this point. "I don't know, Dino."

"Think about it at least," Dino abruptly said. "At least think about my confession. Look deep inside your heart, Hyejin. I hope that somewhere deep in there, you'll come to realize that you might have a small set of feelings for me too. I don't care if you only see me as your idol, your brother or just your friend. I just want to know that I might be there, somewhere in your heart."

Hyejin didn't have the courage to even look up. Her eyes were flooding with tears. Tears that were threatening to fall. "I—" Her voice accidentally broke and she quickly tried to regain her composure. "I'll try my best, Dino. For now, I think I should just go home. I'm really tired."

Dino didn't say much. The hand that he was trying to hold onto for so long had slipped out of his grip so easily it was as if he had already given up. 

As Hyejin turned her heel and had her back face him, she slowly walked away before she ran to catch the last taxi. She told the taxi driver where she would be heading and silently sobbed on the way back home. 

By the time she was back home, she ran into the elevator that was empty. Her parents weren't in by the time she opened the door so she took the opportunity to rush to her bedroom and cry her heart out. 

Why must our situation be like this? Why was I so scared of telling him my true feelings? Why was I so scared of loving him back?

Hyejin buried her face deep into her blankets as she rolled around. Unable to hold the sadness, she let her room be filled with her loud wails that was filled with regret. 

It wasn't wrong to love. Yet, why was I so scared to do so?

+ + + 

Hyejin wasn't able to contact Dino after his confession. It has been four days and she didn't see any texts from him. She figured he had thoughts to resolve just as well and at this point, Hyejin was scared that he had already given up on him. 

What's wrong with you? Hyejin asked herself as she stared at her reflection. Eye bags were evident and she looked like a total mess. Why did you do that? 

Hyejin wasn't acting herself again. It worried her parents a lot but Hyejin continued to lied, saying that she was fine. Deep down, Hyejin herself knew she wasn't. Why did she keep lying? It was because she didn't want her parents to know about her love life problems. 

Instead of talking to her parents about it, she contacted her best friend. Dae Jung came a little after Hyejin's parents left for work. He didn't get much information from Hyejin went talking to her on the phone but he figured that she was back to being sad. 

"What happened this time?" Dae Jung sounded worried. He kicked his shoes away and guided Hyejin to the couch in the living room, as if Hyejin was sick. 

"Dino confessed to me," Hyejin said as soon as she was seated on the couch in the living room. 

Dae Jung still had his hands on her shoulder and once she sat down, Dae Jung stared at her face. "What?"

Hyejin lifelessly moved her head to face Dae Jung. With a wry smile, she repeated again, "Dino confessed to me. Four days ago."

Dae Jung quickly sat down next to her. "What? How did it happen? Why are you so sad about it then? Don't you like him back?"

"I do." It sounded stupid, even to Hyejin's ears. She knew her reasons of rejecting him, yet she was confused on the reasons all at once. She wasn't sure what was wrong with herself and she continuously blamed her lack of senses. 

Why was love easier in fanfictions than it was in reality? 

Dae Jung's face wrinkled in confusion. "Then why didn't you tell him that?"

"I was scared." Hyejin held the sleeve of Dae Jung's long sleeved shirt, her eyes quivering again. Her eyes were filled with tears but she did her best to hold it all back. "I was scared of what would happen next."

"What would happen next, Hyejin? Tell me," Dae Jung lightly urged, pulling his best friend closer in until her head rested on his shoulder. 

Hyejin was shaking; she wasn't able to keep the tears in much longer. She was heavily reminded of what has happened four days ago. She couldn't get the picture out of her mind. 

"Let it all out first..." Dae Jung coached, rubbing circles around her upper arm. "When you're ready, just tell me. You can rant as much as you want. I'll be here to listen to it all."

Hyejin was actually grateful to have a friend like Dae Jung. Most of the times, he was like an annoying little brother to her. At this very moment, she realized how reliable he was at this very moment despite him being younger than her by a few months. This made her realize that Dae Jung could be an oppa to her at times too. 

After Hyejin was done crying, she breathed heavily and reached for the nearest tissue box to dry her tears. Once she was calm again, she began, "I don't know, Dae Jung. I just feel like I might be some type of burden to him. I'm scared that if I do accept him, that if we do date, I might affect his career. This famous life isn't as simple as it looks. Your secrets won't be secrets for long. They'll be exposed soon enough and I'm afraid of everyone knowing. I want to date, but I want to do it with a small audience. That audience mostly consisting my family and my close friends. Not the entire world."

Dae Jung continued rubbing circles to calm her down. "I understand what you mean, Hyejin. It's not an easy road. However, it's the basics of surviving in this world—that famous world. You have to prepare yourself for anything that can happen."

"But what if I don't want to face anything that I prepare for?" Hyejin asked, her eyes puffed, watery and red. 

Dae Jung patted the top of her head. "You will. You are strong and I know you are. You'll get through this."

"I'm so glad I have a friend like you," Hyejin said once again. 

Dae Jung gave her a quick squeeze. "You should be. You should really go easy on those tears. I haven't seen you cry this much ever since you failed your maths exam. I don't know if I can ever get used to this. Where's my usually happy best friend?"

Hyejin knew she was sad but the way Dae Jung teased her made her laugh lightly. "She'll come back soon, hopefully. I'm also trying to search for her."

"You better find her, okay? I miss her," Dae Jung continued to play along. Then, he stood up after securing Hyejin in a stable position. "I'm going to see if there's anything for you to drink. I'm sure you feel thirsty after wasting the water in your body."

Hyejin rolled her wet eyes and reached the nearest pillow to throw it at him. She successfully did, so she smiled victoriously. 

Dae Jung returned shortly with a cup of water for Hyejin. He sat next to her once again and handed her the cup of water with a cute smile. "Here, drink up."

"Thank you," Hyejin said in return, taking the cup of water from his hands. He watched as Hyejin drank up the cup of water. "This makes me feel a little better."

"A little?" Dae Jung emphasized, his eyes widening. "You're still not feeling any better?"

Hyejin shrugged with an unsure smile on her face. "It still hurts. You understand this feeling more than I do, Cho Dae Jung."

Dae Jung displays a sad smile at his best friend before realizing where she was taking the conversation. "Yes, that is true. I understand that feeling more than anyone, sad to say."

Hyejin couldn't help but feel pity for her best friend. She's seen him before. She has seen him cry secret tears because of a girl before. If you'd look at his past history with girls, you would see that Dae Jung would get accepted by the girls, but they wouldn't last long. Hyejin has never seen them last at least a year. It was usually just a few months. 

Sad to say, Hyejin couldn't do much for him. It wasn't like she could find a great girl for him. She wasn't sure what exactly was the problem with his relationships, but she did know that he wouldn't be able to let go of the one he has loved for some time. Often, it would take longer than expected, often a year. 

What was so wrong with Dae Jung? Hyejin thought. He was a handsome and smart fella. 

Maybe it was just the girls Dae Jung went after. They weren't for him. Maybe it was that. 

"Let's watch TV. It's getting too quiet in this living room and maybe you can get cheered up if you take your mind off it," Dae Jung suggested, grabbing the remote control. He pressed on a button and immediately, the TV came on. 

Celebrity news were playing and it seemed that it was something about Song Yiseul, a friend of Hyejin's. It stated that she was slowly rising to be one of the greatest solo artists out there in South Korea. Hyejin felt proud and happy for her. 

The news shifted to something about SEVENTEEN, which instantly started to bring Hyejin's mood down again. She was once again reminded about it. She looked away from the TV and pretended like she was fine, but Dae Jung had already noticed. 

"Sorry, I'll change the channel. Wait," Dae Jung said, about to switch channels when something caught the attention of Hyejin.

"...as you can see here in the video here, Dino of SEVENTEEN is seen confessing to Hwan Hyejin," the TV said. 

Hyejin immediately looked up at the screen and before Dae Jung could switch channels, Hyejin grabbed the remote control. Her eyes were now heavily glued on the TV as it continued to show a video. 

She couldn't believe her eyes. It was a video of both Dino and her out at the market they went to a few days ago. It was around the time he confessed and it was all caught on camera, now seemingly broadcast around South Korea—or even the entire world! 

"What... how..." Hyejin was speechless. Who could have been there to notice their presence and take a video of them? Who and why? What exactly was their motive? To ruin Hyejin's life or Dino's career? Or worst? He/She was aiming for both. 

"Hyejin, are you okay—"

"No," Hyejin answered, tears starting to form in her eyes, "this makes no sense. Why... why are they doing this?"

"There you have it folks," the MC narrated as the video continued to replay, "they may have gotten out of a scandal just recently, but Dino of SEVENTEEN's feelings are real. They might even be dating at this very moment! This is all from Celebrity News! See you next week at the same time!"