You're completely dead to the world: brain numbed, pain dulled, limbs frozen. Two sorcerers are hovering over your body, but you aren't aware of their presence, not even when the weird one with the blindfold pokes your cheek.

"You really shouldn't immobilize a patient before explaining what you're doing," Gojo frowns, still indenting your skin with light pokes. "That's not HIPPA-friendly."

"Oh, they wouldn't have shut up otherwise, and you know it. It's better this way," Shoko tuts, waving a finger at him disapprovingly. "They need lots of fluids. They're very dehydrated."

Gojo sighs, stalling his poking to study your peaceful expression. "Figures. They were missing for over 12 hours."

A bitter chuckle bubbles out of him. "It was painfully obvious they were in trouble, but the higher-ups wouldn't tell me anything. They told me nothing, Shoko. They didn't care."

"Are you surprised?" She eyes him. "They're willing to execute kids, Satoru. This is hardly surprising."

"You think they'd care more when two powerful special grades are roaming around as they please," Gojo scoffs. "They forced them to track the ones I ran into weeks ago."

Shoko's eyes widen at the news. "What?"

"Why wouldn't they just order me to immediately exorcise the curses? It's too dangerous to just let them exist," Gojo continues, voice raising in volume as he becomes more agitated. "Whatever they're after, it's not worth it."

Shoko snorts. "They'll sacrifice anyone for their agenda. And when you have the world's best tracker at your disposal..."

Gojo swallows the words that threaten to expose you: and the Jujutsu world's best spy.

"I can't just sit idly while they torture us all like this!" Gojo cries, barely contained frustration leaking through. "I've had enough of it, Shoko. Something needs to change, it all needs to change. The system the higher-ups uphold is failing us."

The hand that is plastering gauze to your leg pauses mid-stroke. There's a flicker of emotion in her eyes makes Gojo uneasy. Shoko's eyes are always cold, steely, even void of emotion – so why does he see fear resonating in her dark eyes?

Her eyes quickly return to their normal state – annoyed yet unbothered, holding that trademark aloofness she shows even to her closest friends. (They weren't always like that, though. It all changed after–)

Shoko, although visibly unbothered, withdraws herself. Under his blindfold, Gojo's eyes track her padding over from your side to her medical cart. She grabs more gauze – presumably for your other singed limb – but it is just an excuse to distance herself from him.

Gojo's lips turn down at the realization. What is she scared of?

When Shoko returns to wrap your arm, Gojo sits back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. Shoko sits rigidly, almost as if she were hesitant about having unpracticed hands, but Gojo knows she is skilled in her profession. She couldn't possibly be nervous about patching you up – this is only confirming that his presence is making her uneasy.

Gojo rises, stepping away to the foot of your bed, then leans casually against the frame. He tries to embody nonchalance even though he knows he must appear at least somewhat on edge.

An echo of the past sounds through his mind. Words that he has agonized over, words that still wake him up in a cold sweat at night, remind him of shared sins: If I could become you, wouldn't my impossible ideal become possible?

He's the strongest. He could do anything, even destroy the world if he wanted. He could.

"Shoko," He says quietly. "I'm not...it won't be like before. I know when to stop. My ideals...I hate self-righteous stuff, but I won't do that to you. Or to them. I won't put either of you through that again."

Shoko closes her eyes, head bobbing in a subtle nod, and breathes out slowly. Without words, she resumes her work. The sounds of tape crinkling and cotton ripping fill the silence.

When Shoko finally speaks again, her tone is typical: bossy and blunt. Gojo holds back a smile at her obvious maternal instinct over you.

"Don't do anything drastic," Shoko warns. "Who will that affect? You may be untouchable, but nobody else is."

His arms fan out behind his head as he paces back and forth in front of your bed. His eyes land on your still form as he considers Shoko's words.

"I know you want to punish the higher-ups for putting them in this situation, but anything you do will lead back to them."

"I know that," Gojo sucks his teeth. "But I can't just let it happen again. If I don't do anything, it will. You know it will."

Shoko bites her lip, then sighs deeply. "Just be careful. I won't forgive you if something happens to them."

"It won't," He breathes. "I won't let it."

A cackle echoes through the room. Gojo stares at Shoko incredulously.

"What?" He asks defensively, almost offended by her reaction.

Shoko wrinkles her nose. "You're so whipped for them."

Gojo immediately presses a hand over his reddening face. "What are you talking about, I'm not–"

Shoko interrupts him, "Yes you are. Why don't you just tell them?"

Gojo pauses, then sighs out, "It's not that simple."

Silence blankets the room; even the sounds of Shoko patching you up have halted. A sort of invisible pressure washes over Gojo – he feels two beams trained into the back of his head. A thin sheen of sweat appears on his palms as the sensation only heightens.

When he slowly turns around, he is faced with hard, unamused eyes. She stares at him intently.

Her voice is firm and unwavering when she speaks, "In this world, you can't afford to wait. I learned that the hard way. You saw it firsthand."

Gojo's expression is pained. "Shoko, I-"

"No. Listen," She says sharply. "I'm lucky. I could move on with my life. I met Uta. But..."

She sighs deeply, fingers steepling the bridge of her nose. "I still regret it. A part of my heart died that day. I loved him, I did, but I did nothing. That part of my heart won't ever go away. I can't escape it now. How can I let go of something I never admitted to him?"

Gojo is silent, gaze downcast. His heart is heavy.

"You are both incredible sorcerers, I'll admit it," Her gaze drifts to your injured form. "But that doesn't mean things can't happen."

"Please don't let the same happen," Shoko whispers. "For...for both of your sakes."

Gojo turns his head back to Shoko sharply. Her enigmatic words swirl in his head, making him dizzy. For both of our sakes?

"Now go away. They need to rest for a while."

Gojo opens his mouth to protest, but Shoko beats him to it.

"I won't have any more moping around here. Just come back in a few hours, they'll be asleep for a while more anyway," She says, and when he still looks unsure she adds, "I'll watch over them the whole time, don't worry."

Gojo's lip curls into a scowl, but he hears her out.

"If you want to do them a favor, make sure Yaga stays away from here. If he finds out, they're sure to be interrogated for a long while, and I've found that really disturbs the recovery process. You can do that for them, yeah?"

"Yeah," He breathes. "Of course."

He hesitates, hovering over your form, before gently pressing his lips to your forehead. Before Shoko can tease him again, his long legs have hastily carried him to the hallway outside of the infirmary.

Shoko blinks hard, staring at the door that is still swinging from the force of his exit. She wonders if she just hallucinated, or if Gojo actually showed affection in front of her.

She huffs out a half-irritated, half-relieved sigh. "Thank god he left. Finally. Can't even work in peace when he's around."

She turns back to you, observing the gentle rise and fall of your chest. She chuckles under her breath, "He's so easy to manipulate when it comes to you. Thanks for that, cutie. Rest up."

. *. ⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ｡･:*˚:✧｡*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:.・。＊*✩*.・✭ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:✧ ˚ ⋆*  ☾⋆

"Finally awake, sleepyhead?" He smiles. At your confused expression, he adds, "It's well past noon, sweets."

You try to form words, but only a grunt passes your lips. Strange.

That's when you are aware that your head is fuzzy, thoughts constantly bleeding into each other. You feel good though — too good. Unnaturally good.

You feel good, that is, until you notice the tube attached to the needle implanted in your arm. You try to shake it off, but only after that doesn't work do you realize it's not going to budge without a little elbow grease. That's when your clumsy hands stumble with the tape and tube as you attempt to rip it out.

"What are you doing? Hey, hey, don't take that out," He rushes over to your side, trapping your squirming hands under his. "I know it's uncomfortable, but that has to stay in, alright?"

"No," You groan out, words finally flowing. "Not alright. I want to take it out."

"Soon," He says, his face crinkling sympathetically. "She took the other ones out earlier. Must not be too long until you won't need the IV anymore, too."

"Noooo," You pout. "Now."

Gojo chuckles. "Shoko put you on some shit, huh?"

"Feels good," Is what escapes your lips, even though a complaint is pinging in your brain. "Feels like I'm floating."

"Maybe I should ask her for some too, huh?" He raises his eyebrows playfully at you. "Sounds like fun."

You lay unmoving, only able to blink at his response. Fun? Are you having fun?

Even though you can't process your thoughts, they still zoom by your brain — the forest blurring past you as you escaped, the fear that gripped you as you chanced glances behind you, whispers from the curses that draw shivers down your spine, memories of the pain from their assault.

"Fun? I don't know," You frown, tears already beading on your lash line. "Can't think, but I'm scared."

"Shit, sorry, that's not what I–Look at me," He whispers, waiting a moment until your eyes are on him before speaking again. "It's safe here. You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you."

You feel warmth encapsulating your hand – both of his envelope yours entirely. You smile when you realize yours is nowhere in sight; his are so large, they consume yours whole.

"Okay," You accept easily, settling back until the covers. "Cover me while I sleep?"

A puff of air leaves him, and he raises a hand to hide his amused smile. You suppose he's trying not to laugh. "Yes, I'll cover for you. Promise."

You nod, eyes already closing. "Okay. G'night."

*. ⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ｡･:*˚:✧｡*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:.・。＊*✩*.・✭ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:✧ ˚ ⋆*  ☾⋆

Your eyes are still closed when you brush past consciousness again. You're still asleep, you suppose, but the half-moons being traced on your palm are so visceral, so soothing. So real.

The touch on you is familiar, comforting, even causes your heart to flutter. Ah, so you are awake. You can't open your eyes yet, but you must be awake – at least half-awake.

You try to speak normally, but your voice comes out weak and raspy. "Satoru?"

"Ah, finally awake again?" He hums. "Your eyes are still closed, sweets. Still sleepy, huh?"

You let out a mildly annoyed groan in response to his teasing.

He chuckles. "You can sure sleep a lot. It's truly a gift. What a talent."

You force your eyes to part a crack. Your vision is hazy, blurred with sleep, but you can still make out his figure. "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not. I'm only expressing my jealousy," He bites back playfully.

"What, you haven't been sleeping well?" You inquire.

"Well, considering one of my closest...friends went missing for over half a day, no, I have not been," He says it lightly, nearing on playful, but you don't miss how tight-lipped his smile is.

You look to the side opposite him, flushed with shame. You mumble out an embarrassed, "Sorry..."

You raise a hand to your face, rubbing the crusted sleep from your eyes, and are pleasantly surprised when you don't experience any resistance. The IV must have been removed.

You sit up as you normally would, but nearly plop back down from the wave of dizziness that hits you.

While you try to blink away your dizzy spell, his hands reach under you to support your back, holding you firmly in place.

"Lay back down, you still need to rest," Gojo scolds, gently pressing you back into the covers. "You're just gonna hurt yourself more if you move. Thought you were smarter than that, sweets."

You pout and stick out your tongue at his dog on your intelligence, but don't try to argue. He's right.

"I dont want to push you," Gojo starts, tone more serious than before. "But I'm here to listen whenever you want to talk about it, okay?"

You nod. "I think I'm rea-"

A thought suddenly materializes in your brain – the higher-ups are going to want to know what happens. They will pry and push and prod until they get answers.

Your demeanor changes quickly – fear returns to your body, tensing your muscles and causing them to quiver.

"Do they know? Do Yaga and the elders know? I-I can't see anyone else yet – please don't make me talk to them," You beg softly, frantically. "Does Yaga know I'm here?"

When Gojo shakes his head, you sink back into your sheets in relief.

"Oh, thank god," You breathe out. "Don't think I could handle that."

"They don't know anything, I made sure of it," He reassures. "Shoko was going crazy having me around, so she sent me to talk down Yaga about sending out trackers to trace your cursed energy. A bit ironic, isn't it?"

"Speaking of our medical deviant – do you want her here for this?" Gojo asks softly.

Your eyes widen, and you shake your head vehemently. "No, no, not...not yet."

Gojo can't hide his surprise at your firm and immediate refusal, but he doesn't comment on it. "Okay. That's okay. Whenever you're ready, then."

You smile weakly at him. "It's better to get it over with, I guess. So, you...already kinda know why I was there."

He nods, gaze downcast. "The higher-ups forced you to track the two special-grades."

"Right. They did. More than just track, though. They...they found out about my innate technique."

His head shoots up. "What?"

You sigh. "They found out, decided to put it to use. Espionage. Monitoring the curses and recording everything they said."

"But how?" Gojo asks, brow furrowed. "How did they find out?"

You bite your lip, exhaling deeply. "They found my parents and threatened them. I still don't know exactly how they found out, or what they said to my parents, or exactly how much my parents said; I still don't know anything."

You shake your head as frustration stirs up inside of you again. "I probably should have tried to find out, but I was just so scared of what they'd do if they found me prying. So I just shut up and did what they asked of me. Track the curses, listen to them, collect information."

"Those old geezers," Gojo chuckles darkly. "Bastards, all of them."

A pang of guilt burns through you – you worried him, are still worrying him, for what? This could have been avoided.

"I should have just told you," You say quietly, choking on regret. "I should have, but I was so scared what they'd do if they found out. It was stupid of me. It would have been fine."

You bark out a watery laugh, which he almost flinches at: it's so sudden and out of nowhere. "You're a really good secret keeper. I shouldn't have doubted you."

He's at the very edge of your bed now – leaning in towards you, torso pressing into the edge of the mattress.

"Stop blaming yourself," He says softly. "It's a difficult situation to be in – loved ones being used as leverage. You did your best. It's not your fault."

You lean into him appreciatively, not trusting words; your eyes flutter shut as you savor in his warmth.

His fingers dig into your skin. His voice is low when he speaks next. "The higher-ups wouldn't tell me anything no matter what I said or did, but I knew it was something bad. Between this and first years' mission, I'm ready to k–"

"No, don't," You say hurriedly. "Please stop saying that. I'm fine, Itadori's fine. It's okay. This was my fault, anyway."

"Sweets, it wasn't," He sighs, clutching your form.

"It really was, though," You insist. "If I had been careful it would have been fine, it always is. It's just that–"

You bite your lip, willing tears not to come, but they spill down anyway. Gojo quickly wipes them away.

"It's okay, you can tell me," He says softly, encouragingly.

You fight to keep your voice from breaking as you release the secrets that have been plaguing you. "Everything would have been fine. They never knew I was there, they could never tell. It was all fine until yesterday...really..."

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. Seeing your obvious internal struggle, Gojo takes one of your hands in his and squeezes it tightly.

"Jogo is always complaining about his 'Boss', and I never really thought anything of it, but he said..." Your final words are shaky. "Someone's name. Someone I know to be dead."

You feel nauseous as you force the words out. "It's Geto, Satoru. He's working with the curses."

His breath hitches. The hand around yours goes rigid, his shoulder you lean on goes stiff. He's frozen, unmoving. For Gojo, time stops – for you, the ticking of the clock on the wall is absurdly loud.

"That's..." Gojo murmurs. "That's impossible."

"Nobody ever recovered his body," You whisper, your voice airy and barely audible.

Your eyes never stray from him; you watch as he drags a hand down his face, the pressure dimpling his skin where his fingers make contact.

"Did you see it with your own eyes?" He asks quietly, voice taut.

It. Not him, but it.

Your teeth catch on your bottom lip, and the pain almost welcome. "No, but...there's no way he was lying. Hanami scolded Jogo for even just saying his name. It-it couldn't have been a set-up. They didn't know I was there."

Gojo presses a hand to his chin, clutching his own skin hard. His gaze is downcast. Aura dark.

"I'm scared," You whisper, eyes searching his face. "What if he...what if..."

You allow yourself to sink into his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck. His arms automatically wrap around you, tugging you close to him.

"Please be careful," You murmur into his neck. "Please, Satoru."

"You're going to lecture me about being careful?" He chuckles, but it's weak and broken. "You're so funny, sweetheart."

"I'm being serious," You whimper. "This is serious. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. You a-and Shoko, fuck...what are we going to do, are we going to be okay, are you–?"

"It'll be fine," He says quickly – too quickly. "Don't get your panties in a twist, sweets. It's all fine."

"Satoru..." You say, not convinced. "But it's not. And it's okay that it's not."

You study his face, eyes landing on his blindfold, voice barely a whisper. "It's okay if you're not okay."

He takes a ragged breath, then releases you from his arms. The force of it shoves you away from him, and you're left blinking in confusion at his actions. You swivel around, concerned but also hurt, and watch him straighten out his signature sorcerer coat.

Panic bubbles up in your throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"What do you mean?" He cuts you off, a broken smile twisting his lips up. "It's all good. I just have places to be, missions to complete. Maybe I'll pick up some dinner in another country too, huh?"

You're on the verge of tears, and the lump in your throat makes it hard to squeeze out your next words. "Satoru, wait, can we please talk about this, I'm worried-"

"I'll be by later, alright?" He says, dismissing your words with a tight-lipped smile. "Well, bye then. Don't miss me too much."

Before you can get another syllable out, he's gone. Teleported away. You couldn't run after him even if you wanted to – the thought rips a sardonic laugh from you.

You're alone, brain on fire, heart in pieces. Your head is swimming with thoughts of those who have touched your heart throughout your sorcerer life – Geto, Gojo, Shoko, Nanami, Haibara.

Another bitter cackle echoes through empty infirmary: you've come to the realization that you're all either broken or dead, and you can't decide which one is worse.

. *. ⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ｡･:*˚:✧｡*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:.・。＊*✩*.・✭ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:✧ ˚ ⋆*  ☾⋆

A/N: Gojo is a meanie 😾 Next chapter out soon !! :)