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"Happy birthday Y/n!" My mother said with excitement as she entered my room. She had a small cake; f/c frosting and my favourite flowers decorating the sides along with small gold sprinkle beads. Her warm smile brung a sensation of happiness to me as she came closer to where I was standing. The small red candle was flickering as my mother moved, her hand in front of the candle to make sure it won't go out.

"Mom you didn't have to do this." I say smiling as she was now standing in front of me with the cake inches from my face.

"Come on, make a wish and blow it." She said hiding behind the cake. I sighed and was about to blow it out but before I could the door slammed open making the candle flame disappear. Me and my mom both looked towards the door with confusion.

Father.

He walked in with his arms crossed over his chest, his face was blank. I quickly straighten myself, putting my arms straight on either side of me and my eyes looking straight forward. My mother stepped away from me so my father could come closer.

"Sir." I say in a loud tone.

"What are you doing slacking off?" He questioned me now standing closer and hovering over me.

"Sorry sir, I was only getting something." I say shaking slightly. I wasn't supposed to be in my room, shit he's gonna kill me for being in here doing nothing. His hand moved and I flinched closing my eyes shut. Waiting for him to hit me.

Nothing.

Nothing?

"Come with me." His voice was now far away and when I opened my eyes again he was standing at the door. Why isn't he shouting?
"Quit standing there like a moron!" His voice was more violent this time making me jolt towards him. I looked towards my mother who was glaring at my father then she glanced at me, I gave her a reassuring smile letting her know I was gonna be ok. She nodded as I walked out the door closing it as I did so.

We walked down the long dark corridors, my father was in front while I kept my distance. He hasn't said anything this whole time so I don't know if I was in trouble or not. His arms swayed beside him, our footsteps where the only sound along with the occasional flickering of the candles on the walls as we past them. We past paintings of old leaders, all proud and strong, we turned the corner where a stair case was greeting us.

I know where these stairs lead to, down into the torture chamber. I wasn't allowed down there, no one was except of my father and his second and third in command. Why was he taking me down there... my hands began to shake and my legs felt weak. "This way." His voice echoed inside my ears as I walked behind him, with every step it felt harder to breathe.

"You're 14 now, so that means you are ready."

What does that supposed to mean, ready to die?!?

We stopped in front of a metal door, that had four locks on it. Father stepped forward with a set of keys and starting to open the door. "Xara" he began, my breath hinged at the mentioning of her, she has gone missing last year. Though I haven't spoken to her since that day, I have always wandered where she was, if she was ok. "She betrayed you didn't she."

I nodded though I didn't feel like that at all, I was the one who hurt her. The door opened and he walked in and so did I. "Well nothing is better than revenge right?" His voice had completely changed, his voice was more annoyed earlier but now it had a sort of craziness to it. Like awaiting pleasure. His words were strange, 'revenge' what did he mean by that. He lit a candle then began to light the others that were on the walls, finally bringing light into the room. When my eyes adjusted, what I saw made shivers go down my spine.

Xara...

She was tied up on a chair in the middle of the room. Her legs and arms had cuts and bruises from what I assumed was beating, her cloths were torn. She had a beautiful yellow square collar top with ruffle sleeves which was now torn at the edges. Her white skirt had blood stains on it and was half way ripped up to her keens at the front. Her head dangled down, her hair was dirty and some strands where stuck together with her blood.

"What...father what is... this..." I say barely able to speak. He didn't say a word, I stared at him wanting to get an answer but before I could say anything else I heard movement from where she was. My eyes shot to her. She was now looking at me. Her eyes wide. We were both as shocked as the other.

"Y/n..." tears weld up in my eyes at her voice, the voice I haven't heard for so long. Her voice was dry and painful, and so desperate. She looked terrible. Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes, her lips were cracking and her nose and eyes were red from crying. A deep crimson painted over her cheeks like on a canvas, that was the only colour she had on her face, her eyes started to get glossy and a tear fell down her cheek. Making a small trail amongst many others.

"You're gonna kill her." My heart stopped at his words and I could see the same was happening to Xara too.

No.

No.

No.

I can't kill her. I can't kill my best friend. "What!?" I say raising my voice at him for the first time ever. I wasn't going to kill her, I couldn't. Even though she left that day it was my fault, I wasn't going to end her life.

"Do you want to take over one day!" He replied in a louder tone which made Xara jump. I do but if I have to kill her then...

I looked at her and she was now crying, my heart broke. I wanted to hug her and take her away from him. But I couldn't. Father grabbed my hand and placed something cold inside it. A gun. "You're 14 years old aren't ya, don't be a pussy and finish this already. I have shit to do." I was just standing there like a statue and then looked at her.

"No Y/n please! I'm sorry for leaving you!" She cried out struggling trying to break free. "Please don't kill me... please!" I didn't move.

"For walls sake shut the hell up!" Father said placing a bloody cloth in her mouth. "Come on Y/n. Or what did you forget how to aim?" He said coming closer and grabbing my arm slowly aiming the gun at her. "There, good girl."

I can't move.

I don't want to do it but my body won't protest, it's like my brain is in panic mode but my body won't do anything about it.

"Now shoot."

No.

"Come on."

No.

"DO IT!" His voice shocked me and I jumped, he was speaking into my ear. "If you don't, I'll kill the both of you."

Xara struggled while my finger pressed slowly on the trigger.

No.

Don't do it.

One single tear fell down my face, "I'm sorry Xara..."

BANG!

__

I shot up with cold sweat dripping down from my forehead to my chin, my chest raised and fell frantically but I still felt like I couldn't breathe.

It's ok.

I'm ok.

I reminded myself trying to calm down. My breathing slowed down but my heart felt like it was gonna jump out my chest grow legs and run off, I looked around the room double checking I was still in the same room I fell asleep in. My eyes landed onto the clock that was placed above my door, 3:45am, it was way too early for me to be up. The ticking sound from the round wooden clock was all I could hear, it was like white noise.

"I'm not going to fall back asleep anytime soon," I say to nobody but myself and decided to go get something to drink. Maybe lemon tea, that could calm me down. The bed creaked as I slowly got up, my feet touched the cold wooden floor which caused a small shiver to go up throughout my body. Slipping on my fluffy f/c slippers and a oversized hoodie in the same colour.

My door creaked which made me tenses up from fear that someone might hear me. The hallway was dark and it took me a bit for my eyes to adjust, I stepped gently on the ground not wanting to make noise. My eyes spotted a light coming from under a door, Corporal Levi's door, what was he doing up so late. When I arrived in front of his door I stopped for a brief second wanting to hear what was going on in there.

"Fucking stupid... for fucks sakes... what the hell...." Muffled phrases of him cursing something or someone out was the only thing I could hear. He seemed frustrated which made me feel a bit... sad? Why was I sad it's not my fault he's a grumpy little man, or maybe it's something to do with me...
I stopped myself before I would get too curious and barge in to see what he was doing, if I did that let's just say I wouldn't come out with all my limbs.

I returned to walk to my destination, and when I got there I was greeted with someone already being inside. They were sat at one of the dining tables with a cup of what I assumed was tea, they were making small circles with their finger onto the table. Their head shot up when they heard the door close, their face showed tiredness and frustration but they still smile and pointed next to them for me to sit.

"Hange what are you doing up so late?" I asked sitting next to them, they gave me a cheeky grin before answering.

"I could ask you the same question Y/n." A wider grin appeared on their face as they watched me, the eye bags under their eyes told me they haven't slept the whole night.

"Were you up doing your crazy experiments again, and wheres Moblit isn't he supposed to drag you to bed?" I question again and they only sighed. They pushed their cup towards me, the smell of the lemon tea calmed me down and made my tensed body relax.

"Have some." They said sweetly pushing the cup right under my hand, it seemed like they didn't drink much of it and since they were offering it to me I accepted. Grabbing the small, warm porcelain cup in my hands and sipped it slowly. Instantly the warmth of it made me feel less stress and anxious, allowing me to relax completely. "Thank you." I say after my sip.

"Is what happened this morning bothering you?" They asked me after a moment of silence, they weren't looking at me or at anywhere in particular. They were looking straight forward with their hand supporting their chin, they had taken their glasses off so the light reflected on their light brown eyes perfectly making them look like they had small gold pieces inside them. Their hair was tied up in a very messy high ponytail, strands of hair stuck up from their head, their bangs that were parted in the middle framed their face gently.

"I suppose you can say that." I reply before taking another sip, "I had to apologise to the Captain after the meeting as well... a waste of my time," I mutter the last bit though they still heard me and chuckled slightly.

Hange has been my friend ever since I got here, the first day they saw me they decided to take me under their wing. They taught me about titans which some of the things they said the lessons from the training corps didn't teach us, they showed me some of their experiments and even let me do some with them. The other cadets feared them for their love for titans and how crazy they got over these disgusting things. But to them these things fascinating them and excited them, which to me made me admire them even more. They are passionate for something that inspires them to go on, you can't fear that well, I don't.

"Shorty wasn't too happy after the meeting either, after he got kicked out that is." They continued telling me how the Captain had a small tantrum for being kicked out though he didn't want to admit he was upset. Levi is a serious man though sometimes when provoked he can get a little childish I suppose.

We both continue to go back and forth talking about anything before Moblit came in to take Hange away. "HANGE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN YOUR ROOM!" He burst in panting, he seemed a bit worried, he has probably been looking for them for some time.

"Well that is my time to go." They say after getting up from beside me and ruffled my hair, "go back to your room soon, ok." They said with a smile and I nodded, they walked out with Moblit scolding them leaving me alone. Soon enough I went back to my room, lying down on my bed resting my head on my pillow I felt my eyes feeling heavier, and not long after I fell into a deep sleep once again.

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Author notes~

Hellooooooo :) !!!
Ik this is a longer chapter since I really wanted to finally introduce Hange since they're my fave character in the whole show. I've decided to use they/them for them since they don't have a specific gender and I haven't read any fanfic that gave them these pronouns. I hope u guys liked this :D have a good day or night :).

Credits to the artist:D

Vote if u want :).