CATRINA

"What?"

I watch the elder, bewildered and slightly amused, too, at this situation while the baby calms and cuddles into me. The elder shrugs and then looks at all of us, before settling his eyes on me.

"I apologise for being so direct but yes, I do think that you are a healer," he says, smiling a bit which looks more like a smirk.

"By profession? Yes, I–"

"No, radnaya. I mean you are a healer, a werewolf healer, just like your mother," he interrupts, leaving me all confused and shaken up. My mom is a healer? What is a healer?

God! My world has tilted on its axis and now it has started to feel exhausting to me.

"I'll call Christine. It's better if she's here to answer all your questions," says the elder before appearing as if he's mind-linking someone. He gets a bit dreamy-eyed indicating that's he's linking someone.

"Let's go to my office?" he says and starts walking, Fenris and Sierra following him making me also walk behind them, Connor silently following me.

"What's wrong with this baby?" I ask, hoisting her up when she leans to get closer to Selene who has her arms outstretched over Sierra's shoulder.

"She was in pain, that's all I felt," replies Fenris turning back to me for a second without stopping in his walk. I look down at the baby and frown because her face appears to be happy, not even a hint that she's in some sort of pain.

We all walk into the room and see that my mom's already in the office waiting on us. She makes a beeline to me as soon as she sees me, smiling at me through her tears. Caressing my head, she quickly kisses me on the cheeks but surprisingly her touch doesn't hurt me.

"How are you, malyshka?" she asks, pushing my hair back.

"I am fine mumma," I whisper, my voice trembling a bit with sudden emotion. She smiles and then shakes her head as if telling me not to cry.

"Elder Fridolf says that I am a healer?" I meant to say it as a statement but it comes out like a question. Mom smiles at me and then looks at the elder who nods as if in confirmation and she claps her hand in delight.

"Sierra! My baby's a healer, did you hear that?" she exclaims, looking at Sierra who is smiling at my mother, her eyes shining with excitement.

"Umm, what does it mean?" I ask, feeling a little awkward at my mom's sudden reaction.

"Catrina. Werewolf healers are very rare. Usually, a very ordinary wolf is a healer, that is wolves not in the line to rule over the pack are healers. Let's say, Deltas and Omegas are the ones who usually have the skill to be a werewolf healer. And it's always a female. Till today, I have never heard of a male who's a healer," explains the elder as we all take seats.

I sit beside my mom not remembering that Connor's with me but he makes himself clear by standing behind the chair I am sitting on. Fenris and Sierra occupy the sofa with Selene cuddled between them.

"So, I am a healer. That's why I was always interested in medicine?" I ask, and the elder nods.

"Yes. But a werewolf healer is different. You do not cure diseases or physical wounds. You have the ability to cure mental illnesses. Your healing ability focuses on sucking out the negative energy in a person making him feel calm and rejuvenated," he explains, making me see myself in a completely different light.

"That's why Xanthos wanted to keep her even after taking her blood, didn't he?" observes Connor and I watch as the elder nods his head.

"Yes. That's probably the main reason why both Xanthos and that rogue felt attracted to her. Being a healer, you can calm a rogue wolf. You see, a werewolf doesn't go rogue, his human side is the one who accepts the negativity, thus going rogue. He drives his wolf but when the wolf is driving his human towards evil, it goes feral.

"Xavier was a feral wolf, obtaining the half-wolf half-human form and now Xanthos is too. The rest of his army are all rogues, their humans driving their wolf. That's why they have this need to be closer to you. You calm them, make the wolf's anger lower a little."

"Oh. This is something very new," I whisper, suddenly feeling very exhausted. A terrible headache builds behind my eyelids making my eyes water and I feel my body start trembling. I clutch onto the baby tighter, mentally cursing.

Why does my body start trembling whenever I hold babies in my arms?

"What is it, Solnyshko?" asks Connor, immediately sensing the shift in my body language. His knowledge about my gestures makes my heart melt but then the thought of him having an ulterior motive has me pushing his arms away even when my logical side tells me that whatever he did was for my own good.

"I get that I am a healer but I want to know more about this," I manage to speak, ignoring my throbbing head.

"Don't worry, I'll help you," says mom, smiling at me. I smile back and sigh when Connor's hands lie on my shoulders and he starts massaging my neck, giving me temporary relief from the headache and giving way to the throbbing in my core.

"Who will take care of her?" I ask, remembering about her mother's death and pull the girl closer, feeling protective of her.

"She's an orphan but we never abandon such kids," says the elder, looking at Fenris and Sierra who appear to be talking to themselves in their mind.

"I want to adopt her," I blurt the first thing that comes to my mind and not at all regretting it.

Silence follows my words and I look at everyone in the eyes. They all stare at me in shock and surprise or probably both, I am not sure but Connor's hands lift from my shoulders, making me shiver in cold suddenly.

I don't like this feeling, the realisation that I am once again emotionally dependent on Connor. The fear of him throwing me away after my heat, this time, makes me shudder. I sit straight in my seat, looking at my mom, seeking comfort from her.

"It's a great idea, Catrina," she says, looking at me and then at the elder as if to seek permission? The elder instead looks at Fenris, his eyes urging my cousin to answer my statement.

Sierra is the one to break the tension in the air by clearing her throat. She smiles at me but the anxiety in her eyes as she looks at Connor and then at me, has me frowning and making my stomach curl up in anticipated dread.

"That's a great thought, Catrina. But we don't let a single female or male for that matter adopt a pup," she says, clearly uncomfortable to be the one to break this news to me.

"Oh! Why not? Is it because I don't earn?" I ask, thinking of a way to get a job in a nearby hospital but it's going to be difficult since this place in the middle of a forest.

"No," says Sierra and then shakes her head to emphasise her point. Then she sighs as if this is a difficult task and then again speaks to explain herself.

"Yes, I mean. You should be earning too. But more than that, only couples are allowed to adopt pups because we fear that if a single person adopts and later find his or her mate, then chances are that they won't accept the pup. It would then add a sense of neglect in the child's mind and we do not want that."

I frown, thinking about it, not quite believing it since it sounds as if she's trying to hint at something but is avoiding getting straight to it. Behind me Connor stiffens, his hands squeezing my shoulders and now unable to ignore him, I turn my head to look up into his eyes.

"What Sierra means to say is that we as a couple can adopt the baby but if you reject my claim then you can't adopt her," he says, his eyes shining with anger?

"What?"

I whip my head to look at Sierra, who has her eyes narrowed on Connor and then as if sensing my gaze, she looks at me sheepishly, cuddling Selene closer as if she's going to somehow hide behind a child?

I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, not really believing this but then not even wanting to give up the chance of having a kid.

"Okay. I'll find some way to adopt her then. Can I take her home with me, for some time?" I ask the elder, already knowing the answer.

"Your body is tired and still under the heavy influence of the drugs. Also, now that Alpha Connor has marked you, you are going through a natural heat. Why don't you rest for some days and we'll get back on this conversation later?" he asks but from his tone, I know that he has no intention of getting back on the conversation.

Ugh! Fuck this situation.

"Thank you," I whisper, not reacting to his words and hand back the child to my mom, prying off her fingers from my shirt. I kiss the baby on her cheek, feeling this pull towards her as if she's my own.

~~~~~

"Catrina. Listen to me," says Connor as we enter my home. I don't stop in my walk and make my way straight to my bedroom and in the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I get my work done and use the hand shower to rinse myself down there but the splash of water near my clit has me moaning.

Hearing a growl from outside the bathroom, I make quick work and get out of the room to find Connor standing on the threshold. I nearly stumble but am saved by his thick as iron arms, causing a moan to slip free in pleasure at the sensations that run through my body because of his touch.

"Catrina. I am sorry but please understand I did it just for you," he says and I sigh both in arousal and frustration.

"I am annoyed, Connor. There was a possibility of me shifting to my wolf and then you chose my fertility which we don't even know if it'll work or not."

"Solnyshko, we don't know if you could have shifted or not," he says and I know that whatever he's speaking is true but my heart refuses to agree. Or rather it's my brain which refuses to interpret Connor's explanation.

"I know. I just need some time to deal with this. All this is becoming too much and now I feel as if I am making the wrong decision," I whisper, pouring out my guilt for treating him badly before. All the fight leaves me and I feel drained, mentally as well as physically. 

Two strong arms pull me in a warm embrace and I go, resting my head against his chest, breathing in his woodsy scent which calms my frayed nerves and makes them tingle in arousal. Connor rubs his chin on my head, and I feel a kiss at the same spot before he rests his chin on top of my head, squeezing me in his embrace.

"I promise, Solnyshko, I'm never letting you go. You being barren or dormant are the least of my concerns at this moment," he whispers, his voice hoarse from arousal or overwhelming emotions, I am not sure.

"What is your concern?" I ask, frowning, at his choice of words. I pull back from him but can't totally escape his embrace since he holds on to me, only letting me look up at him. I watch him, looking back at me with lots of pain and hurt lurking in those dark green orbs.

"You want to adopt that pup?"

His question throws me off-guard and a squeak escapes my throat at the mention of my impulsive behaviour. Yes, I want to have that baby as mine but I could've done it in a much different way, yes?

Sensing that he's still waiting for my answer, I reply, "Yes, I want us to adopt the baby." I shuffle on my feet, a bit uncomfortable at the topic of conversation. Connor misinterprets it probably because he lifts me up and carries me to the bed where he lays me down and then lays down beside me with his full focus on me.

"Catrina, you know that I won't say no to any of your demand but can you tell me why do you really want to adopt her? Just to fill the void or...?"

I shake my head at his question, stopping him mid-sentence.

"No, Connor. I can't replace my kids ever. I just feel protective for that child," I whisper and wait for his response, anticipation making me hold my breath.

"Ours," he growls and I immediately nod my head, hearing the pain behind his growl.

"Yes, ours," I whisper, my eyes welling up in the memory of the feel of my babies inside my body. How I had longed to hold them in my arms? How desperately I had held onto the hope of having someone whom I can call my own?

"Please don't cry, Solnyshko. Each tear of yours rips at my heart. You want to adopt the baby, we'll go and adopt her the first thing after your heat has subsided," he whispers, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and his words make me chuckle through my tears.

"I wonder till what lengths you would go to make me happy," I ask, knowing that he agreed to adopt the baby only because I want it and because he wants to be with me. Connor shakes his head at me, pulling me closer and laying a kiss on my head before pressing a soft kiss on my lips.

"I don't know, Catrina but I'll do everything that's possible to keep you happy with me," he whispers, his voice rumbling because of the emotions swirling in his eyes. His words soothe me as if somewhere I needed his reassurance after he made that decision to choose my fertility that he really wants me.

"I love you," I whisper, and my eyes widen when I realise what I said. Connor's eyes widen too and then he smiles at me. The shy smile that I have never seen before on his face, makes my heart beat loudly, making butterflies erupt in my stomach and make me feel high.

"That's the first time you've said that," he whispers in wonder and the next moment smashes his lips against mine, showing me how much he loves me by pleasuring me in the way he does. 

~~~~~

Thank you for reading this chapter. 

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