CATRINA

He's probably reliving the same moment because he groans and then closes his eyes as if he's in agony and then suddenly he's moving back as if I burnt him.

"We'll continue this conversation later," he whispers in a growl like voice and then walks out of the nurses' station.

I try to control my breathing, trying very hard to not let my disappointment and the hurt show on my face. Controlling my emotions is what I do and that's what I need to do to get through the day and not breakdown from the rejection.

It hurt like hell all those years ago but it hurts even more now when it's clear that we still are physically attracted to each other but he doesn't love me the way I did, still do.

A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts and I straighten myself against the wall, composing my features before looking at the person.

Dr. Beaupre stands there looking at me with a concern filled gaze along with confusion marring his features. I clear my throat and go for a neutral conversation, not letting him question me.

"Yes, doctor. Do you need me?"

"Yes, actually. We have an emergency. Less staff of nurses so you might have to work an extra shift," he says and I sigh. I can't handle an extra shift, not now. Not when my emotions are all haywire and I'm exhausted.

"I am sorry, Dr. Beaupre. I already worked an extra shift last week. I need this weekend off," I request, trying to keep my voice as polite as possible. It's not his fault that the nurse staff is overburdened.

He frowns but then nods in understanding much to my relief.

"Okay. Let me know if you change your mind," he says before walking out.

~~~~

"Let's go out for lunch. I don't feel like attending the post-lunch classes," mutters Natasha from her seat across mine. I shrug, not saying anything because I don't want to go. I want to attend the next class, mainly because it is chemistry and also because I want to see that guy again. Chances are that I might see him, a senior, a new student who's gorgeous with a slightly sad aura around him but somehow feels approachable to me.

"Nah. I want to go dancing," mutters Annika playing with the pencil in hand.

"Yes, let's go dancing," adds Amy, sarcastically.

"We are still underage," I mutter. What are these girls? All of them, plastics. They want to go dancing, drinking and partying, sleeping around with boys, especially Natasha and Annika. Amy is one of the level-headed girls along with Victoria in our group whereas Adeline is just a go-with-the-flow kind of a girl. Flatter her a little and she'll do what you say. I consider myself a think-before-you-do-anything kind of a girl and am quite proud of my attitude, especially when I have a monster for a little sister who likes to tattle on me, every time.

"So what? Whoever's house is empty for the weekend will host a party and one of us will get the alcohol while another one gets the food," adds Denise who's all charged up now with her idea of a night out.

I don't like it. I don't want to drink, never felt the need to, and not at all when I am underage. I prepare myself to get out of here before anyone forces me to stay and include me in their shenanigans.

"Look, Catrina's all prepared to say no," says Annika, smirking evilly. That girl never liked me and I don't understand why I sit with them but it's like I don't want to be called the one who left the group. She can take her minions, Natasha and Denise, and go fuck all the boys in the school, except for the new boy, of course.

"Yes, actually I won't be allowed for a night out by my parents, so you all continue. Have fun," I say, lamely and grab my backpack before walking out of the cafeteria and to my next class.

I am as usual not looking where I am going and straightaway walk into someone. Looking up, I see the new boy and feel my breath catch in my throat. My heart literally skips a beat and then starts beating at a thundering pace, excited to be in such proximity of this guy. I saw him only a week ago and am already harboring a huge crush on him.

Me, the boring, average Catrina who never looked at a guy twice, is having a crush on the newest addition to the school's list of hot boys.

"Are you alright?" he asks in his slightly throaty voice. He talks like a man. I feel goosebumps rise on my arms where he is holding me to steady me. I take a step back, overwhelmed by his presence, letting his arms drop to his sides. I look up and see him smiling down at me, like a polite guy and not like a guy who might have some feelings for me. I stifle the cry of disappointment and smile at him.

"Thank you. I was not looking."

"Yes, I guessed that," he chuckles and I swoon. He's hot, handsome even and I have never felt like this in front of anyone. I feel my cheeks heat up at his exclusive attention and stupidly introduce myself.

"My name's Catrina St. Clair, junior year."

"It's great to finally know the name of the girl I have been stealing glances at. My name's Connor Lupe, senior year." His words make my face flame and I duck my face a little, not wanting him to see my blushing face.

"Would you like to exchange numbers?" he asks all of a sudden and I quickly look up at him. I am surprised that he asked that. I nod and we exchange numbers and then he walks off to his class making me realize that I am late for my own class. Face-palming myself, I look around if any of my gang-girls saw our exchange and sigh in relief when I don't see anyone and start walking to my class.

I wake up slowly, still caught up in the dream, the memory of how I met him. Laying in the bed and snuggling into the cushion, I let all those memories wash over me, his hands on my arms for the first time had felt like a jolt of electricity running down my spine. I had barely controlled my urge to shiver. Our reaction to each other was intense, potent even and maybe that was just lust on his part whereas I am still suffering from the love I feel for him.

Letting out a short scream in the pillow, I get up and stretch my arms over my head and look around my new home. It's been a long time. I thought he left the country or the state at least but looks like he didn't leave. He's probably wanting to talk now because he saw me and not because he was searching for me. I still remember how he ignored me when he entered the medical room, the hurt I felt when he walked as if he didn't care, he really doesn't.

He's bad news. It's better if I ignore him and he'll probably forget about me, how he did all those years ago after carelessly dumping me and calling me names. I push back those memories and get out of the bed and into the bathroom for a shower. Perhaps a shower will wash away those memories I so long to forget.

It's a Saturday and I don't have anything to do, my house looks clean, all clothes are done, dishes are done and the floors are also clean. With nothing to do at home, I put on my work clothes and head to the hospital knowing full well that my extra shift is still needed.

Sure enough, Dr. Beaupre was immensely relieved when I helped him hold a baby while he treated him. Babies don't react well to big men with a broody face, I think to myself.

"Thanks for coming," he says after the patient is carried away by his mother.

"No problem, doctor."

Dr. Beaupre is very professional when he's working and I appreciate that about him. His being professional, even when he almost asked me out a few weeks ago makes working with him quite easy, comfortable even.

I head out from the doctor's office to the nurses' station when I feel a pull at my elbow. I am pulled aside in a storeroom by none other than Connor. The tingles always appear when he touches me and now, they are more intense.

"What the hell, Connor!" I whisper-scream, turning around to look at him. He immediately puts his hands up in surrender and his face morphs into that of uncertainty.

"Wow! The great Connor Lupe is anxious today?" I sneer at him, my anger and hurt all breaking free. I seethe where I am standing, wanting nothing else but to slap his beautiful face. He can't just barge into my life all of a sudden. I refuse to be his plaything.

"Please, we need to talk. Just listen to me," he whispers. He's still standing at the door, blocking my escape but at least not coming close to me like he did yesterday. That is a relief as well as a disappointment. My emotions are all fried, I can't think straight, all because of his unwanted presence. I was dealing fine with my life, adjusting to living alone when he shows up, wanting to take over my life. Again.

"No, there's nothing left to talk, Connor." I shake my head.

"Let's start anew, please," he says and I freeze. What did he just say? Start again. Start this relationship again only for it to end with me on the sidewalks while he drives away arrogantly. No. Never again! I shake my head, twining my fingers to stop my trembling.

"Will you go out for dinner with me?" he asks in that charming voice of his and smiles, so full of confidence and reassurance. His voice tries to lure me in his trap. If I agree, I am gone.

"No, thank you," I reply not wanting to show any sign of weakness. If I accept, it will automatically boost his confidence and then he will move in to break the walls that took me so many years and so many efforts to build around myself.

His smile vanishes and he looks at me with such concentration that I take a step back instinctively. He takes a step forward giving chase. I remember the time when I used to purposely move back, enticing him to walk toward me and pin me against the wall and begged him to fuck me. The memory brings back the bitter reminder of how completely I bared myself to him and how greedily he took over my life, taking away my freedom until all I could see was his face and hear his voice echoing in my mind.

"Please. Please, leave," I whisper and thank whichever God that's watching me right now for my steady voice. I barely keep my hands on the sides of my body, fighting the urge to twine my fingers and fidget. He looks at me no stares for a whole minute before frowning and then he raises his hands, palms up as if surrendering.

"I'll go for now but I will come back to you. I gave you time and now it's up. So be ready. You will be mine, Solnysko," he whispers down in my ear, without touching me and then is out of the door in the next moment. I sigh in relief as I hear his fading footsteps echoing down the hall belatedly realizing that he used his personal nickname for me.

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