CONNOR

I look down at my mate, who's patiently waiting for me to tell her the truth. I had planned it all but never did I think that she would be the lost daughter of Christine. She's Fenris's cousin, a member of the royal family, a princess.

Goddess! She's punishing me for my sins.

My mother's going to disown me when I tell them about the pain, I caused my mate. Fenris and Cayden are both going to kill me. Fenris won't be my best friend anymore. Tatiana's going to throttle me for hurting an innocent especially when I was the one who threatened to kill her ex-whore of a mate.

Only Catrina can save me from all this. But I don't want her to come to me for this reason only. I want her to give me a chance to prove myself. I'll be a better mate much better than the boyfriend I was supposed to be.

My wolf growls at the prospect of her just being my girlfriend. She never was an ordinary girl. My wolf was always yearning for her attention and I felt insecure about it. I wasn't ready to accept it that she could be my mate and that's why I pushed her away from me.

When I saw her sister with Sergei pretending to be my Cat, I so easily believed that scene even when my wolf took in the changes in her scent. My human side didn't want to give in to the unknown mate pull. All of my mistakes have cost Catrina and I'll die before I cause her any more pain. She can reject me if she wants but I feel really blessed that I met her again and that after all the hurt I caused her, she's still here in front of me, patiently waiting to hear me out.

Sending a small prayer to the Goddess for this opportunity where I can prove my love for her, I look in her eyes and slowly, calmly tell her the truth.

"You are my soul-mate." I wanted to say that I am a werewolf but instead this comes out which causes Catrina to laugh. She laughs at me as if I have lost my mind. Her laughter dies down and her face takes over a serious expression.

"Don't make fun of me, Connor. I know I used to believe in those romance novels but you taught me a very good memorable lesson," she says quietly while twining her fingers together. I shake my head at her and this time speak the correct words.

"I am a werewolf, Catrina. I can shift into a wolf. I am the Alpha of the werewolf part of this town and..." my words die in my throat when she starts shaking her head rapidly.

"No, Connor. Don't play with my mind. You cannot be a werewolf. That is a myth which is used to create fictional stories," she huffs, turning her face away from me. I sit there feeling helpless. Not knowing any other way to make her believe me, I get out of the bed and start removing my clothes which I had hurriedly put on when I smelt my family walking in.

"What the hell are you doing, Connor? Do you think I'll sleep with you after all this?" she whisper-screams, the astonished rage clear on her face.

"No, Solnysko. I am showing you that I really am a werewolf. You are my soul-mate," I explain and then shift into my wolf who's eager to show himself to our mate.

The moment I shift into my wolf, Catrina is out of the bed but instead of walking towards the door, she moves in the opposite direction, towards the balcony in her hurry to run away from me.

Taking this as an opportunity to cut off her exit route, I stand in front of her so that she has no other option than to listen to me.

She raises a trembling hand to push back her hair away from her face and the slender column of her neck catches my eye. I so desperately want to sink my canines into her neck and claim her mine for all eternity. I am sure my tongue's lolling out by now. The image playing in my mind of her pinned beneath me has me aroused beyond imagination.

"Please don't eat me," she pleads which makes me chuckle in my mind. She knows my wolf form too. I just wish we were like that from the beginning instead of me being a jerk to her.

I walk slowly towards her with my head bent to show that I don't mean any harm to her. I would die a thousand deaths before ever laying a hand on her. She stands still as if waiting for me to reach her.

I walk in her personal space, crowding in front of her and effectively trapping her against the balcony railing. The cool air causes my mate to shiver and my body involuntarily moves to curl around her legs. My movement causes her to lose her footing a bit and she clutches onto my fur to steady herself.

Her fingers on my body feel like heaven and I inhale her heavenly scent of chocolate and cream and mouth waters to just have one taste.

"Is it really you Connor," she asks breathily and I nod in confirmation. Slowly as if still not believing the sight in front of her, she kneels down in front of me and moves both of her hands over my shoulder, her fingers plunging into the dark fur.

A shudder runs down my body as her fingers rove over my body, tenderly, hesitantly yet lovingly. She is marvelled at the sight in front of her but her touch feels like she wants to memorise the feel of my fur.

I close my eyes and take in the feel of her fingers over my body. It's so different from all the other touches I have experienced in my wolf form. The tingles that run over my body are a thousand times more intense than what I feel in my human form. I wonder if she feels it too?

After a few minutes of caressing my shoulders, she stills and then withdraws her hands away from my body. A whine slips out of my mouth before I can stop it. She hears it and then smiles a bit but then quickly shakes her head.

"Shift back Connor," she says and it's my turn to stiffen. If I shift back, I am going to be naked and I don't think she'll appreciate that kind of view at this moment.

My hesitancy only makes her belief of me fooling with her, stronger and she sighs before getting up. Shivering because of the cold wind she walks back into the bedroom and then sits on the edge of the bed.

She picks up the pair of track pants that I was wearing earlier and holds them out towards me.

"Now you can shift back," says my smart mate and I quickly trot back into the room. Feeling her probing stare on me the entire time, I shift back to my human form and then lazily put on those pants. I hold her gaze the entire time and notice her eyes dilating a bit, showing a hint that she's aroused.

The scent of her arousal is very light but still present in the air and I take it as a positive sign that she might believe me now.

"So?" I ask unable to bear her silence now.

"Wow. You really are a werewolf," she exclaims quite dreamily making me chuckle at her reaction. She was scared when I shifted and now, she's all dreamy-eyed about it. My wolf puffs out his chest in pride that our mate is impressed with us. I can't help but feel proud of myself that I could bring such an expression on her face.

Her cheeks have turned light pink because of the arousal as well as excitement. She had always been so fascinated with werewolves and witches but I had felt embarrassed looking at the cover pages of those books. They portrayed werewolves to be some kind of a horny dog who either lives on sex or by murdering people.

Who will explain to the authors that the sex is not just physical but an emotional aspect of us werewolves' lives? As far as murdering people is concerned, we only kill those who need to be killed.

"Why tell me now? You could've told me about it when we met all those years ago."

"We are supposed to keep this part of our lives a secret if we are socialising with humans," I explain.

"So, your mother is also a werewolf?" she asks and I wonder where is she going with this question.

"Yes, she is and so is the married couple you met downstairs. In fact, he is the leader of our werewolf community in this country." I purposely keep the information about her mother and brother being werewolves too. I already suspected that Catrina must be a dormant but now that I know she is the daughter of Christine it's confirmed that she's in fact a dormant wolf.

"Then what are my brother and mom doing with them? They are humans they obviously don't know about this thing. Oh, no! Wait a minute, Cayden asked if I know about your truth. Does this mean that he knows about you being a werewolf? Oh my God!"

I listen patiently to her ranting, not quite sure of she's talking to me or herself. She has now risen from the bed and is pacing in front me giving me a close-up view of her ass. I don't answer her but instead, my hands automatically wrap around her waist and I pull her towards me, affectively landing her ass in my lap. She struggles at first but then gasps when she feels my erection and then freezes, making me laugh.

"Relax, Solnysko. I won't eat you neither will I fuck you now. You will have to ask me for it," I whisper in her ear and kiss her just behind her earlobe. She shivers in my arms and I tighten my hold on her.

"Looks like I was not the only one who hid things," she speaks after some time.

"I didn't do it purposely, baby. I didn't know that you are my mate back then. I felt a pull towards you but I thought of it as lust and not our mate-bond."

"So, you are back with me because you found out that I am your mate?" she asks, sarcastically and then laughs humourlessly causing my stomach to churn. When she puts it like that, I do feel like I am an asshole.

"No, Solnysko. I was searching for my mate but I was not desperate for her and when I saw you in the hospital, my entire viewpoint about this mate thing changed. Suddenly I wanted you to be with me from dawn to dusk."

"But you must not have thought about me even for a second before you came to know about me being your mate. God! What is this mate thing?" she says exasperatedly and then pushes me to get off my lap. I let her go away from me not able to understand how to stop her from concluding things.

"I... I always thought of you Cat. I always thought that I should have confirmed if it was you in that bed that day. I swear I regret every day that I didn't confirm if it was you."

"You swearing doesn't make it right. And you regretting doesn't bring back my babies," she shouts by the end of her sentence and then breaks off with a sob.

"I am so sorry, Solnysko. This is a big punishment for me. I took too much time to find out the truth," I agree ashamed now, walking towards her to pull her in for a hug. Her entire frame is trembling as if she is reliving the loss of our babies.

"I have still not moved on from you Connor. I still feel my, our babies and wake in a cold sweat realising that I lost them. They were the only ones who could've loved me unconditionally and just because I was depressed because of your accusation, I lost them."

"I can apologise for a thousand times, baby but that won't bring back our babies. Please let me share your pain. I swear I'll never leave you. In fact, if you reject me or refuse to let me claim you then it's me who's going to die, Catrina," I feel ashamed to accept this fact but she needs to know that I need her as much as she needs me, or needed me.

"Why would you apologise? I am responsible for the loss of our babies, not you. You didn't even know about my pregnancy," she whispers wistfully. I stroke her hair to soothe her but can't handle the chaos that's wreaking havoc in my mind.

I know now why she lost the babies. Earlier I wasn't so sure but then when I recollected some of the werewolf pregnancies and how the female requires constant contact of her mate, I think I know why Catrina lost our babies.

"I... I was a werewolf when I met you but I didn't know that you were my mate..."

"How is this possible, Connor?" she asks tiredly, almost slumping against the wall. Picking her up in my arms, I walk towards the bed and sit her down in the centre of the bed. Sitting in front of her and taking both her hands in mine, I lift them up to place kisses in the centre of her palms.

I hope, after the information, I share with her she'll forgive me. I can't demand her forgiveness but I cannot live without her, that's what I know for sure.

"Werewolves can recognize their mate at or after 21 years of age. When I met you, we both were 17-18 years old but my wolf recognised that you were special and that you might be my mate. My human side couldn't understand the gravity of these feelings but still, I led you on. Earlier I didn't have the intention of making you mine and that's why I was so distrustful. When I saw your sister in bed with Sergei, I just grabbed the opportunity to prove that you are a cheating girlfriend and left you," I explain.

"What does that have to do with my miscarriage, Connor?" she asks and my anxiety turns up another notch. What if she rejects me for this? I didn't know about it but I am responsible for it.

"Werewolves can reproduce with their mates only. That's the main reason why you became pregnant. Our bodies knew that we are mates but we had no knowledge of it. The female requires constant contact of her mate when she's pregnant to ensure that the baby is growing healthily."

"Come to the point, Connor," she says impatiently and I make myself ready for her judgement.

"Since I wasn't close to you when you were pregnant, the babies must have felt only half a connection of their parents and that's why you couldn't carry them to term. I am the one to be blamed for your miscarriage, a lot more than you." I utter those words with a very heavy heart and feel all my hopes burn away when I hear that gasp of shock. 

~~~~~

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