The more time passes
I’m only thinking about you

-all I do

"This is where they're living?" Changkyun scanned the motel with sharp eyes. It seemed pretty decent and made me question how in the world they could afford it. Oh well, I think I paid their expense.

"Follow me." He took the lead after asking me what room they were in. It felt like a quest, and I was still in a daze, not sure of what was happening here.

After knocking on the door several times, aunt opened with Kyungmi peering her head from the back. Kyungmi, my cousin, was only two years older than me. Despite that, we never even talked much.

"What brings you here?" Aunt's expression hardened seeing me but she moved aside from the door anyway. Only then her eyes fell on Changkyun. "Hello, ahjumma," he greeted politely with a smile.

"H-hello." Aunt seemed a little flabbergasted but greeted him back.

"Let's get to the point." Changkyun took a sharp inhale before he spoke again. "I'll appreciate it if you don't ask Minjae for money."

Kyungmi and aunt glanced at each other secretively, but that didn’t fail to notice our gaze. "Who is he?" Kyungmi's voice dripped off annoyance.

"Minjae works for him," Aunt whispered close to her ear but we were all able to listen.

Changkyun looked at me then stared back at them again. "You're pressuring her into give you money, aren’t you? Moreover, you've hit her multiple times."

Aunt gasped loudly, all of a sudden, her eyes almost falling out of her sockets. She held her mouth and looked at us. "How could you say that? I raised her like my own child!"

"Can't you see mom?" Kyungmi echoed. "She brainwashed those people to get pity from them."

Changkyun didn't say anything and straight up grabbed my arm. He then lifted up my shirt's sleeve, revealing an old scar on my upper arm. "If my guess is right, you did this."

I looked up at him, surprised. His teeth were gritted, eyes sharp and nostrils flared. How did he know that?

"That's her birthmark," Kyungmi yelled throwing her hands in the air.

"That's definitely not a birthmark. Minjae, tell me. Did your aunt do this to you?" He asked in a determined voice, staring right into my eyes.

My lips were trembling. I looked at aunt who was watching me with a venom filled stare. Words wouldn't leave my mouth.

But I nodded hesitantly indicating that she did hit me. It happened when I was ten years old. Aunt was so angry because I got into a fight with Kyungmi, she took a hot iron stick she used for cooking and pressed it against my skin. Even the memory was making me flinch.

"Really Minjae! I did that you?" Aunt said in a mocking tone then looked up at Changkyun. "You don't have any proof that I hit her." 

"Do you think I won't be able to find any evidence?" His cheeky smile was back on his face. "Even if I don't, we have money and power; we can frame you easily."

The red head, Kyunmi took steps closer to us. Looking like she was about to burst out in anger. "What kind of person does that!"

"Worst kind of person." Changkyun shrugged. "But at least I'm better than you."

He then took me by arm to leave. "Wait! Do you even know Minjae is actually a girl?" Aunt screamed from behind. "She's been lying to you from the start!"

Changkyun turned around. "I know. And now if you bother her again it will get nasty. I doubled the security of our place so don't even think."

"That was scary!" Changkyun clutched his heart taking in a deep breath. We were outside the motel, walking down the street to where his car was. "Do you think she will come to kill me when I'm sleeping?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in disbelief. Just a few minutes ago he was acting all high and mighty and now he was scared for his life. "Hyung, didn't you say you doubled the security?"

"Do you think it's that easy?" He narrowed his eyes on me. "I would have to speak with the others about that, since we share the place."

I couldn't help but let out a silent chuckle. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because I pity you. You're poor, orphan and helpless after all."

This time I couldn't but laugh out loudly. The way he said it made me remember someone, Kihyun, when he told me that he got me into college so people would think he's kind.

Changkyun fished his phone out of his pocket and checked for something. "Everyone's going out to have dinner tonight." He put the phone's screen closer to his eyes. "To have thai food?"

"Oh, I will go home by myself then." I took the lead this time taking long stops ahead but then stopped and turned around. "Thank you for everything, hyung."

Was thanking him even enough? I turned again quickly so he wouldn’t see my emotion stricken face.

Out of nowhere, he trotted up to me and head-locked me with his arms. "What? You are coming with me too."

I couldn't breathe properly for the tight hold so I started waving my arms around, like a damn penguin. He let go laughing out loudly. I tried my best to insist on going there but soon I had to give up to his arrogance.

"Don't tell me you're going to let Shownu hyung pay for the food again," I said getting in the car with him.

"Why?" He took the wheel. "Hyung is the oldest. He's rich and gets the most pocket money among us. He should!"

"I don't like it at all." I pouted while crossing my arms over my chest. "You guys are rich too! Pay for your own damn food!"

He gave me a playful look still driving ahead. "Why? Do you like him? I mean you are a girl no matter..."

I slapped his shoulder before he could finish what he was saying. "Why are you and Kihyun always saying the same thing!" I grabbed my hair in frustration. "He's always teasing me, saying that I like Shownu hyung!"

"I was only joking." It became silent after that until he spoke again. "But I think you like Shownu the most among us. You're always either watching him from afar or hanging around him," mumbled Changkyun as he drove ahead.

"He's awkward, kind of like a dad. He cares for everyone so much." I heaved a small sigh looking outside the car. Watching Seoul becoming colorful at night. People walking home from jobs, students hanging out after spending hours in cram school. Food places getting busy with customers.

Then I turned to him remembering something. "You know Shownu hyung is so cute!" I laughed by myself before continuing what I was saying.

"I worked so much this week and went home late at nights. I didn't even have the strength to go to my room so I just slept on the living room's couch. Then you know what I saw every morning? Shownu hyung sleeping on the other couch and there was always a blanket on top of me. How did it get there if he wasn't the one who brought it!"

Changkyun laughed along with me. "Yeah, he wakes up real early but then he goes back to sleep again."

I nodded while turning the radio on. My favorite song of boyfriend started playing. I rocked my head back and forth trying to sing the lyrics with it.

I was deep into the music until Changkyun said something.

"You don't know shownu hyung has a girlfriend do you?"

I faced him wide eyed. "He does?"

"Yeah. They've been dating for four years now. That's why the hype is down already, we don't tease him anymore."

"Oh." I smiled. "She must be really kind and pretty."

"She is. She is a model and she's out of the country most of the time."

"I can't wait to meet her!" I said eagerly, then turned on the song's volume a little louder.

Changkyun gave me a look but I couldn't fathom what his eyes were saying.

The next thing I knew was I'd blacked out again. It happened during the dinner, all I remembered was taking one shot after another of soju.

I needed to calm down, but for what? Why?

When I came to, I found myself over Shownu's back, as he lumbered on the lawn of the house. Other boys had left. I found nothing wrong with this scenario, me on top of his back felt the most real to me.

Today was the day I had collapsed twice, for different reasons.

Today was also the day my heart hurt like it had never been before.

I wrapped my arms around Shownu's back, burying my head on the crook of his neck, taking in his warmth and his smell. So this is the most far I'd ever get with him, huh?

"Are you awake Minjae?" Feeling me stir, he asked, after that followed a soft chuckle. "You were really drunk today."

I didn’t feel like saying anything, at the same time I wanted to tell him a thousand things. My heartbeat was slow, rhythmic with my breathing. My vision blurry, didn’t know if it was because I was drunk or because I wanted to cry, for real.

"I like you Shownu hyung," I whispered lowly, but enough for him to hear.

There was a moment if silence. The distance was getting shorter and I wished the road would never end.

"I like you a lot too Minjae!" he said with a chuckle.

Yeah. As a brother.

Everyone knew he had a girlfriend, only I was the fool here.

Kihyun, too. He knew, but, why did he lead me that way then? Why did he make me sure of my feelings?

I hate that guy. I hate Kihyun.

____________________________________
A/n: writing this chapter was so hard that's why I couldn't help but procrastinate. So, anyone else's ship sunk?

In 9th grade I used to have a big crush on a teacher from my cram school. He was like six years older than me. He was really gentle and caring always acting like my big brother.

Then I came to know he has a girlfriend. And my crush ended there. *sighs while eating bowls of icecream*