A/N: bloody hell, 

school.

Anyway, here's a fanfiction dedicated to our beloved Nana, in this story she was never married to Iemitsu, and she's currently forty two alright?

 She had a sickness that made her die earlier than they all planned. 

(I'm also revising this chapter because I was really stressed when I wrote this. fucking cringe worthy)

Song: "His Daughter" 

HAPPY EARLY MOTHER'S DAY! 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Only the plot.  

Published: 5/12/17

xXx

"Everything's going to be alright,"

She whispered to herself.

She was only six years old that night,

As she hid behind the shelf,

xXx

Whimpers and broken sobs could be heard from inside the narrow room. A child of six holding the shelf so hard, her knuckles turned white. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her heart drumming against her chest.

"Get me another bottle, Naomi!" her father shouted in Italian.

Her mother, as calmly as she could with an intoxicated man yelling directly at her face, answered patiently, "Dear, that's your fourth bottle. Give it a rest."

The little girl jumped when the sound of a bottle shattered and the vibration of a body slamming against the wall was heard. "Did I ask for your opinion, woman?" he hissed slowly, venomously. "I didn't right? Now get me the damn bottle already."

Dimly, the brunette noted in how her mother scuttled away nervously with a very small and timid, "yes". The sound of a fist banging against her door startled her out of her worrying.

"Nana," the man crooned disgustingly as the doorknob jingled from his vice grip. "I know you're in there. Come out here and greet your papa." The small brunette, now confirmed as Nana, went rigid with fright and pressed her back against the wall, trying so very hard to blend in with her surroundings.

"Nana," the man repeated, a little too sweetly, "papa misses you."

No, no . . . Nana thought in fright as she clutched the wood harder to her chest. You don't know I'm here, I'm not here, Nana isn't here, I don't want to come out, go away . . .

"Nana," her father repeated once more, the sound of his fist banging against the door more audible and fierce. "Come out here now. I work like a dog to keep you and your mother happy, and this is how you repay me?" Then once more, his voice went back to that familiar sickeningly sweet tone. "If you don't come out Nana, I will break down this door." The little girl's eyes widened in terror.

Bang. Nana quivered and pressed herself harder against the wall.

Bang. Bang. The brunette closed her teary eyes, wishing desperately to just disappear.

Bang. Nana's eyes flickered over her small quarters, trying, failing to look for an escape.

Bang. Bang. Nana's brown orbs landed over to her window and she quickly ran towards it.

xXx

Because daddy had a little too much to drink

And momma didn't want her to feel the pain.

So she felt . . .

But she still felt the pain.

xXx

Nana reached out, her shaking fingers clumsily fiddling with the lock of her window, a small feeling of happiness bubbling within the confines of her chest when the locks clicked, but then suddenly, a large hand grabbed her tiny wrist from behind. Dazed and scared, she looked up only to meet the intense gaze of the person she feared the most,

Her father.

"Hello Nana," he spoke, switching to Japanese. "Did you miss me?"

Before she could answer or scream for her dear mother's help, an overwhelming pain took over her body, and her line of vision started to fill with stars.

She distinctly heard a crack, a terrified yell from afar, before everything blurred and she couldn't see anything else but black.

xXx

Well ten years they came and went

And dad was gone . . .

So she looked for love in other men . . .

And tried to act strong,

xXx

The school bell rang, signaling the end of class. The same little brunette from way back, was now standing up to gather her things. Her long auburn locks were tied back in a sleek pony tail, and her eyes were flushed red.

Taking a deep breath, she stood up, shaking, and clutched the books harder to her chest when she heard the whispers of her peers and seniors. All of them directed towards her.

"Hey, that's the girl from the car accident, right?"

"Yeah . . . she's lucky enough to still be alive, but her mother is a totally different story."

"I know right? How tragic, and she's still sixteen! How will she survive on her own?"

"She won't be able to attend here anymore . . ."

"It's fine with me. She was weird to begin with. Honestly she's too timid and quiet, and I've never even seen her with anyone before, much less, seen anyone who wanted to be her friend."

"Anna!" Nana ignored them. She dipped her head low, her long fringe brushing against her face, as she passed the gossiping girls with hunched shoulders, attempting to shield herself from their scrutinizing gaze.

 The whispers had stopped, but she could still feel their stares boring holes into the back of her head.

xXx

Nana felt grateful that nobody was within the general vicinity so that she would be able to gather her wandering thoughts.

The white blossoms brushed softly against her skin, brought fresh from the local flower shop downtown.

Inhaling, she took a step forward, letting the wind blow against her hair, the sound of her footsteps clanking loudly against the concrete tile. Her hair billowed behind her back like a long and breezy coat. A red, silk scarf was wrapped cozily around her neck, shielding her collarbone from the cool breeze as she pulled it higher to cover her freezing nose.

The trees rustled with movement, the wind whispered and told her tales, slowly lulling her to sleep. The soft music the crickets made added to the peaceful atmosphere, tranquility made her momentarily forget her anguish as she smiled warmly at the horizon, enjoying the magnificent view the sky offered.

Arriving at the last flight of steps, her smile fell.

Surveying the small space, she smiled up towards the blooming cherry blossoms, before kneeling down to place the white tulips over her mother's grave.

Smiling sadly, she placed her hand over the cold stone. "I'm back, Maman."

xXx

Oh, broken hearts and scars, in only places she could see . . .

Because she just wanted . . .

She just wanted . . .

xXx

"Filthy girl, you're fired!"

Nana was shoved roughly out the back door of the kitchen and her body froze as the kitchen door slowly closed.

"Wait!" Nana let out a cry, her tone slightly hysterical as she clutched the hem of her boss' skirt. "Please! I badly need this! I have nowhere else to go. P-please! I would do anything, just don't send me away—" she was cut off mid-sentence when there was a sudden burning feeling against her left cheek. She held it timid, eyes wide when her boss sent her a dark scowl and spat at her.

"Useless girl," the plump woman murmured. "Three times you failed. And three times you promised it wouldn't repeat again. I don't see the point of keeping someone who has no intention of keeping their word." She looked back at Nana cruelly. "Go. I've no use for someone as no good as you." Before Nana could protest, the woman had shut the door loudly in her face, alerting to Nana that, yes, she was indeed fired.

Again.

She hanged her head and buried her face into her hands. She shivered. She couldn't cry, didn't know how, forgotten how it quite works. She was all too familiar with the emotion known as sadness for it to affect and terrorize her anymore.

The rain that poured down snapped her out of her thoughts, reminding her that she couldn't stay out here or she would freeze to death.

Wrapping the rag around her shoulders, her eyes tiredly scanned the place, looking for something to help her warm up when her eyes landed on a cardboard box.

Sighing in relief, she grabbed out to reach it and placed it over her head, desperately trying to shield her head from the harsh rain. She scooted over the wall, sneezing and shivering badly.

She let her eyes linger towards the sky, admiring the grey clouds from far above before a dark figure loomed in her vision.

xXx

. . . To feel something.

xXx

"Are you all right sweetheart? Do you need anything else?"

"No it's alright Mrs. Walker. Your hospitality and accepting someone like me is good enough."

Mrs. Walker smiled warmly. "Okay. Just remember that if you need anything, call me . . . ah, or better yet, call the head servant, she lives with us anyway. And make sure to take your medication alright? You are still down with a fever. Eat something, too. You're practically skin and bones." She squeezed Nana's arm to prove a point.

Nana blushed faintly. "There's no need for that, ma'am, i-it's unnecessary . . ."

"Oh, shush, dear," the kind woman tutted as she tucked Nana in. "You were so skinny when I found you, so of course it's necessary. You need nutrition in your body or you'll never grow into a beautiful woman! And you have so much potential to become one too, that won't happen though if you're going to stay like this." She shook her head in exasperation.

Nana smiled, feeling like she didn't deserve this. "Thank you so much ma'am . . . I am truly . . . grateful . . . to have met . . . you . . ." and with that, Nana fell into a much needed and deep sleep.

Mrs. Walker smiled at the sight. "Welcome to the Walker household, Nana."

xXx

"How weak . . . she couldn't even survive without the help of the headmistress."

"So dependable . . ."

". . . Hey, have you heard? That weird girl is back."

"So now she's all high and mighty because the mistress decided to take her in?"

"Pathetic."

Nana couldn't help but remember the horrible whispers that had been happening behind her back. Going back to school had not been as exciting as she expected it to be with all the glances and glares everyone had been directing at her.

She was at the foot of her bed, looking at her fingers listlessly, the whispers echoing inside her head in a mocking manner, taunting her.

xXx

And as she sat there on her bed,

Thinking 'bout what those girls said . . .

Tears streamed from her eyes . . . 

She cried . . .

xXx

Before she could register what was happening, a tear drop fell on her palm, lingering there before another fell. And another. Surprised, she lifted her hand only for more tears to come crashing down like a damaged dam.

Nana broke into a loud and painful sob, hugging her shoulders and rocking back and forth to try and calm herself down. Someone was knocking on her door, shouting her name, but she couldn't hear it over the sound of her anguish cries.

She barely registered someone coming and hushing her, rubbing comforting circles in her back as she buried her head into the person's shoulder, desperate for time to stop moving.

"Ma'am—"

"Mama, call me Mama."

Nana smiled weakly. "Mama . . ." she started, hesitant, ". . . is there . . . a deity watching over us? Maman used to tell me to always place my troubles into His hands. But I don't know. And I don't believe." 

Nana curled herself in a fetal position. "I-I'm just so scared, mama . . ."

Nana expected a negative reaction, an indignant cry maybe, but what she got was an understanding and loving smile. "Of course Nana," her mother said warmly. "I believe he watches over us. We just simply never listen or see the signs. We humans are stubborn that way." 

Nana grew silent.

"If there truly is a God out there . . ." Nana smiled sadly. "I'm grateful he had let me meet you. Before I did, I was lost and scared and I had nowhere else to go and nobody to turn to." 

Nana flashed the elder woman a shy smile. "Thank you so much . . . Mama. "

Her mother smiled, touched, as she kissed the top of Nana's forehead. "Don't worry, my dear," she whispered as she rocked the teen back and forth, "because I'll always be right here for you."

xXx

Nana stared at the black box being lowered to the ground, her outfit as black as the night and stormy sky as her head repeated the same lingering words over and over and over.

You lied to me.

xXx

Well her past started to change,

She reached out, and grabbed God's grace . . .

And finally . . . she saw a light.

xXx

"Hey Nana, are you free tonight?" Nana looked up from the book that she was reading so as to stare at her blonde-haired friend with curious round eyes. It had been two years since her adoptive mother died, and she was finally able to cope.

"Yes I am," Nana confirmed. "Why do you ask?"

"Well . . . there's this bar . . . "

xXx

Until that one night where she decided,

xXx

". . . Perhaps one drink is alright," Nana mumbled as she stared at the alcohol her friend had kindly given her before disappearing into the large crowd.

Surely, I could drink one, just one, she thought as she stared at the carefree adults around her who were surprisingly around her age. . . . And I'm eighteen, so it's legal, right? I deserve a drink once in a while . . . I-It does look a bit appealing . . . what's the harm in trying? Hesitantly, she drank.

She didn't notice nor cared in how her surrounding blurred, or how her voice was a little louder than usual, or that she was sitting on a blond stranger's lap, or making love with him like there was no tomorrow, or how she felt like she was going to retch. Nana didn't notice any of it.

And for once, she was glad that she didn't.

xXx

. . . And one thing led to another.

The next thing you know, nine months go by and she's a mother . . .

xXx

Nana sat on her twin-sized bed, staring off into space as her eyes were transfixed on the wall of her condo. Her waist length hair cut short until it only reached the nape of her neck. Nana's eyes were unkind, unreadable. Sadness clouded her mind.

She didn't know what to feel. What was she supposed to feel?

She let out an inaudible sigh as she strode over to her balcony, feeling the need for fresh air, and pushed the door open to peer at the night sky.

She inhaled, allowing her lungs to be filled with fresh air, before sighing once more. She placed her face over her hands, shaking her head at the unfairness of it all.

First, she had an abuser for a father, second, her beloved Maman was taken from her, third, she was homeless, and lastly . . . lastly . . .

Her beloved caretaker, the sweet and accepting elder woman, the one who showered her with tenderness, love and care . . . 

Was brutally murdered right before her eyes. 

Nana clenched her teeth and squeezed the edge of the railing so hard, her knuckles turned white.

Nana didn't know how much more of this she could take, had no ounce of patience left to deal with life's bullshit. Just what more did this God want from her? Hadn't she suffered enough? He took her childhood, her love ones, and now this?

Nana clenched her jaw, the invisible string reining over her anger nearly snapping. She didn't believe in God, not once, and surely not now. She wanted to curse out loud, to kill herself, to end her miserable existence, but now she had another heavy load to carry with her, and she simply couldn't turn away from him. No matter how broken the brunette was she would never turn a blind eye to a child. Flesh and blood, no less.

But in all honesty, Nana just felt . . . lost.

  Lost, she thought miserably to herself as she stared lifelessly at the sky. The anguish of being alone for so long, of being rejected, had finally taken its toll. The woman looked like she aged ten years.

She thought about her baby. Her child. His pale features, his auburn hair that was a shade lighter than her own, his wide, brown and innocent doe eyes made Nana weak.

He reminded her too much of herself. She didn't know how to be a mother. Wasn't prepared, had no idea how to be one—was too young to become one. She was always dependent, needed a hand to help her up, and now she was the one who would help the little brunet up when he felt like he couldn't make it. It was all so . . . overwhelming.

The cries of said baby startled her out of her thoughts. She rushed back in, her worried eyes trained on the crib as she walked forward and gently took the small child in her arms, humming to him a nameless lullaby as he was slowly lulled back to sleep.

She went back to the bed and she wrapped the baby and her in the big and fluffy blanket—caressing his chubby cheeks uncertainly.  

She gently studied his features. He looked like Nana, a male version of her. His tiny fists were gripping Nana's shirt like his life depended on it. He was sucking his thumb, his small and cute eyebrows furrowed uncomfortably. Nana continued to rock him.

xXx

And as she laid there in the bed,

Stroking that small angel's head . . .

xXx

Unknown to the peacefully sleeping baby, Nana was crying too. She couldn't wipe her tears away, but she did let a sad and broken smile grace her lips as she cuddled her son to her chest.

Despite her melancholic thoughts, she loved him. Loved him so much it was almost unbearable. She might not be prepared to be a mother, but she was even more unprepared to let her beloved son go. The son she came to love the moment her eyes first gazed upon him.

And, subconsciously, she opened her mouth and whispered,

xXx

Tears streamed form her eyes,

And she cried, "If there is a God out there, please hear my prayer,

I'm lost and I'm scared, and I've got nowhere else to run . . .

I've come a long, long way, but I'm not sure I can be the best mother.

So . . . if you're listening, could you give a helping hand . . ."

xXx

Nana smiled lovingly, although a bit hesitantly, down at her son. She didn't know what the future held, or what fate had in store for her, but she knows, she'll get through it all,

As long as her son, Tsunayoshi, was with her.

xXx

And then that baby grew into a boy . . .

xXx

"Mama, Mama!"

"Yes, Tsu-kun?" Nana crouched down to look at her son who was flashing her a big toothy grin.

"I made this for you!" Grinning, he placed the messily made flower crown on top Nana's head. Nana's eyes grew wide as she stared in slight disbelief at her adorable son. The fluffy mop of brown hair bounced in excitement as he jumped on Nana.

"I love Mama!" Tsuna smiled. "I love my Mama! I love my Mama! My Mama's the best! Mama deserves a crown fit for a queen! So Tsu-kun went ahead and made her one!" His smile widen as he buried his head in Nana's stomach. "Tsu-kun loves mama very much!"

Nana smiled as she hugged him tightly . . . Blinking back the salty tears that were threatening to spill.

xXx

. . . Who became her . . . pride and joy . .

xXx

"Mama, Mama! Look!" Nana momentarily looked away from her unfinished cooking to look lovingly down at her seven year old son.

"What is it Tsu-kun? What do you want to show Mama?" Tsuna grinned and showed her a drawing. It was consisted of Nana, her son, and two unfamiliar women.

"Ara?" Nana blinked as her eyes squinted at the picture, placing an index finger to her chin. "Who are they, Tsu-kun?"

Tsuna giggled. "It's Grandmaman and Grandmama!" The little brunet boy's eyes were shining. "Mama is always sad when talking about them so Tsu-kun made a picture of them so Mama won't be sad anymore! See? Now we can all be together as one big happy family, so don't feel lonely, okay Mama?"

Nana's eyes widen. She indistinctly heard the sound of the knife falling from her grasp, before registering the fact that she was hugging her son tightly within the confines of her arms, found herself unwilling in letting him go.

"Mama is so proud of you Tsu-kun . . ." Nana whispered, her voice small and quivering. "You're the best son a mother could ever have."

Tsuna, whose young brain still couldn't comprehend the deep and allusive meaning behind Nana's words, smiled and hugged her back. "And you're the best Mama a boy could ever have!" he giggled. "Tsu-kun won't share Mama with anyone, though! Because Mama is Tsu-kun's and Tsu-kun is Mama's!"

Nana smiled. She loved her Tsunayoshi. He was the light of her life—the apple to her eyes. And she loved him with all her heart . . . even when he was a tad bit possessive.

xXx

"I love you Mama!"

xXx

He loved her like no man could,

And her heart felt peace, because she finally understood . . .

xXx

"I love you too, Tsu-kun."

xXx

. . . God's love . . .

xXx

. . . And as she laid there in the bed,

Ninety nine years old . . .

xXx

Nana's eyelids felt incredibly heavy against her face. She could tell that, by the white streaks in her hair and the wrinkles on her face, these were the signs that her time has come . . . It was time for her departure. She decided that she had lived a good and satisfying life. Her Tsu-kun was now successful, he had found the love of his life, he was surrounded by the people he loved, and she was so glad for that. What more could she want for her wonderful son?

She didn't need her Tsu-kun's infamous hyper intuition to know that she was dying. But right now though, she needed the person who had the said infamous hyper intuition . . . she needed to see him for one last time . . .

"Mama . . .?" Ah, she thought as she weakly turned her head, speaking of the devil or angel in this case, because her Tsu-kun could never be a devil—even if he was a mafia boss; too kindhearted to become someone of poor morals.

"Tsu . . . kun . . ." she croaked and she gestured for him to come closer.

He was hesitant and he kept averting his eyes. Nana giggled. So her Tsu-kun was nervous? What a rare sight.

"Tsu-kun . . ." she said, more firmly this time. "Come here." She noticed a fedora wearing man trailing behind Tsuna, his back against the wall as he watched the mother and son with something unreadable in his eyes—wait, scratch that, it was Reborn. He was always unreadable.

"Ahh . . . if it isn't my favorite son-in-law . . ." Nana's eyes twinkled with laughter as her son blushed furiously and his lover coughed awkwardly before turning his head to the other direction; obviously embarrassed by Nana's sudden remark.

Nana smiled. Good to know she still had an effect on these two despite her old age.

"Mama . . ." Nana turned her head to look at Tsuna who was trying to avoid her eyes. " . . . What is it you wish to tell me?"

"Ah . . ." Nana's eyes glinted. "Of course . . . I nearly forgot. Come closer."

xXx

She grabbed her son's hand and said,

"There's something you must know . . ."

xXx

Tsuna did. Nana gently reached for his hand and wrapped her fingers around his knuckles. She closed her eyes. Tsu-kun's hands were different . . . but it was a good kind of different. He didn't need her anymore. He could now walk on his own. She loved the warmth radiating from his skin. It comforted her. 

"Tsu-kun," she started slowly, gently. "I am well aware of your involvement with the mafia. But it matters very little to me because you're still such a good person with wonderful morals . . . even when being exposed to the dark side of the world for so long . . ." Nana paused to catch her breath. " . . . Mama is proud of you, Tsu-kun. So very proud. You're nothing like your Papa."

Nana wasn't expecting the tears that cascaded down her normally composed son's face. But she was his mother. So it must've hurt him to see her like this, dying right before his very eyes, and her words probably struck something within him.

" . . . But no matter how powerful you are, my child, never forget to be humble," she said as she rubbed her fingers soothingly over her son's whitening knuckles. "I shall tell you a message an important figure told me years ago."

xXx

". . . There is a God out there, who heard my prayer

I was lost and afraid, and I had nowhere else . . . to go.

I had no clue . . . what to do . . .

And then he sent me you."

"So if you're lost and afraid . . . and you feel so alone . . .

Don't you worry child, because there's a father who will

love you as his own . . ."

xXx

"'—Don't worry, my dear, for I'll always be here for you.'" Nana repeated the same words her mother told her many long years ago and she smiled as her son absorbed the information. Ah, such a smart boy he was. It made her chest puff up with pride. 

 "Your Grandpa was abusive . . . your Grandma died because we were involved in an accident . . . my adoptive mother was murdered." Nana laughed gently. "It seemed no matter what happened . . . no matter how much I hoped . . . I would always be the one who suffered the most."

"But," she added, seeing her son's blanching expression, "I met your father . . . true, it wasn't under favorable circumstances, but I didn't regret my decision . . . and it is also true, that I was very unprepared when I had you, was unbefitting to become a mother, but that's the reason why I'm still here, Tsu-kun, you taught me how to be a mother, and I'm only here today because I was able to meet you—my darling sweet baby boy."

She smiled. "Thank you, Tsu-kun."

"Mama . . ." Tsuna was now downright sobbing at this point. Clutching her hands tightly like it was his lifeline. Reborn had come over to try and calm Tsuna down, his arms hooked around Tsuna's slim shoulder, probably couldn't bear to see the brunet in such a devastating state.

"I'm not saying any of this to hurt you, Tsu-kun . . ." Nana said, feeling it getting harder and harder to breath. "I'm saying this because I want you to believe . . . I wanted you to know that He'll never abandon you . . . I want you to be happy."

She looked at Reborn next. "Treat my son kindly Reborn, alright?"

The only response she received was a frown and the lowering of the man's fedora. Nana smiled, knowing it was the raven-haired man's way of saying yes.

"Wait—Mama!" Her Tsu-kun's voice sounded like it was from miles away.

"Tsu-kun . . . I can't see you," Nana said weakly. "Tsu-kun . . . Tsu-kun . . . I-I—"

. . . I love you . . .

"Mama!"

xXx

"Just like he loved His Daughter."