"Think I got a little crush, crush
Thinking bout you way too much, much
And when you look at me that way
Makes me wanna change
I'm crushing, I'm crushing.”
….

A few minutes to landing we're all dispersed. Sam and Emily are at one corner of the jet talking quietly, Albert is at one corner, busy with his phone, and Star and I at one corner, busy…

I know how that sounds.

We hadn't had much time to ourselves since the flight started so I figured I could be alone with her now we did have the chance.

“Hi girlfriend,” I say with a short wave and a wink.

She looks up from her phone and gives me a weirded out look.
“You don't have to say–”

“Oh but you do get to call your friends friend.” I raise my brows at her with a smirk.

She rolls her eyes playfully and smiles.
“Okay yes you won, happy?”

“I'm always happy with you around,” I say honestly and she rolls her eyes again when I can clearly see her blushing.

“Well that's good because I will annoy the hell out of you,” she says with a malicious glint in her eyes.

“I know.” I stand up and scoot closer to her on the couch. She drops her phone by her side as she sees me inch closer and then she eyes widen as my lips connect with hers without any warning.

I shut my eyes as we kiss and I feel her lean into me so I place my hands on her waist and pull her even closer to me.

Why does this feel so good all the time?

When we finally pull away, she grabs my hands in hers and looks up at me with a smile.

This is crazy. I can't believe I'm gonna be with her. What the hell does that mean? I deserve to love someone and be loved back and no one gets hurt and everything is alright?

I pout my lips at her playfully and she taps my nose with her fingers, startling me. I grab her left hand in my left and my right in hers so our arms are crisscrossed and we keep going back and forth until we somehow get tangled up so we have to let go, laughing.

To continue this cute game we're playing, I take a strand of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. She reaches out to play with my curls.

“Did you know I love curly hair on guys?” she asks out of the blue.

“Um, now I do,” I reply, cracking a smile. “I'm guessing Kyle was curly haired too?”

She smiles shyly. “I don't know what it is about it, it just drives me crazy.” She clamps her hand over her mouth and I laugh at her.

“Shut up.”

I laugh even harder and then stop abruptly, pointing my finger at her. “Oh oh don't you learn that from Sam.”

“Too late. And shut up.” I feign offence and place my hand over my heart. “And I love Sam very very much.”

My face falls. “Okay then.”

“But…I love you more that's why I want to annoy you,” she says with an adorable smile and bite my lip to stop myself from smiling like crazy.

It didn't work.

“Aww,” she coos as a bright, amused smile lights up her face. “You're so cute and hot at the same time.”

“Uh have you met you before?”

She laughs at my comment but I’m looking down at her with such emotion that her face turns serious instantly.

“You're a star you know that?”

She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes, she's still staring back at me hard. “Jordan I wish I met you earlier.”

Her words cut through my soul and I have to take a deep breath to get my heart to resume pumping. That is literally the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me and what makes me even more disoriented is the fact that she looks like she means it, very much.

Now I can't take my eyes off her. We just sit there staring at each other, our eyes roaming the other’s face like they never want to forget what they look like.

She brings the intense, blissful moment to and end by speaking up.
“You said…you were going to hurt me. But you didn't, you made me happier instead. I tried for days to understand how staying away was going to be better for me but I never did. It was killing me.”

I place my hand on her cheek and stroke it gently with my thumb.
“I'm sorry. It was stupid, I was stupid…for everything I did in the beginning. It was killing me too, you know?" I take my hand down as I see that the motion is distracting her and take her hands in mine instead.

“Yes you were stupid,” she says with a smirk, not surprisingly, “but it's not your fault. If I was in your place I might've done the same.”

“Thanks Star. And…by the way you're more stupid than I am.”

She blinks. “What? Have you met yourself?”

“Don't steal my line. You see, you can't even come up with your own stuff.”

She gasps.
“I thought you loved me?”

“I forget how dramatic you are.” I roll my eyes.

“You're calling me dramatic, you absolute diva?” she shoots back. “You can't even climb a flight of stairs without whining like a little child.”

“Hey we were hanging off the side of the goddamn building…and I have anxiety,” I say the last part in a whisper and she cackles at me.

“Fair point. And I miss those days, I wish we could do that again you know, climbing buildings, watching the sunset, looking out at the city at night, getting ice-cream…” she muses.

“Me too. We should do that again sometime.”

She nods and then gets up abruptly to come sit on my lap. I open up my arms to give her space and when she sits I wrap my arms around her and begin to play with her hair mindlessly as she starts telling me about the song she submitted to the record label and how she can't wait to show me.

If the past Jordan is watching me right now I hope he can see that it's best to follow his conscience, to be himself, to do what he loves and to be with people who he loves, just as long as he's happy. That's all he really needs.