“I knew you in another life
You had that same look in your eyes
I love you, don't act so surprised.”
…

I run my sweaty palms over the length of my jeans, suck in quick breaths and let them out to try and steady my erratic heartbeat.

I need courage.

I'm really going to do this. I really want to do this. All I have to do is just get up and drag myself out of the door and then I know I can't stand outside like an idiot doing nothing.

I just have to get up.

I push myself off the chair and finally stand up, my heart drumming in my chest as I adjust my backpack on my shoulder.

Now I have to walk.

I push my right leg forward, then the left and the right again and before I know it…I'm walking. I'm moving!

Okay dude, be for real now. Are you doing this or not?

I have to. It's the last chance I have and I really don't want to mess it up. I just need everything to go perfectly but I'm just scared…

I try to ignore the trembling of my hands as I open the front door and step out.

I take in another deep breath and let it out.

I'm stalling.

Because I'm scared. I'm scared that she'll reject me. I'm terrified of going over there.

Would she want to talk with me? Are we really done for real?

I guess I'll just have to find out…

I pump my legs faster and faster so I can get it over with as soon as possible. I don't want to think about how it'll turn out because even if I try to think positive…something is going to pop up in my mind and make me second guess the whole thing. I just want to get it over with.

***

It's late afternoon, almost four pm and the sun is slowly fading away into the sky. I like the weather. It's just calm and cool and I appreciate what it does to calm down my mind as I walk to Star's home.

I instantly recognise it once I get there. It's hard to miss. A stunning, two story building with a charming, colonial style aesthetic. It's a mix of grey, red and white. Very nice colour choice.

But anyway, that's not why I'm here. No need to keep stalling. I'm here, at her house. All I need to do is go over there and get her to come out.

I walk up to the front door with all the little courage I can muster. My heart thrums wildly as I reach for the doorbell and then I do it. I tap the button once and the soft melodic songs plays in the air and I'm sure in the whole house.

I try not to cringe and focus on the music but it doesn't work. All I can think of is how someone definitely heard the bell ring and is probably on their way to the door.

I have the chance to run now.

Too late. The door opens with a creak and I take in the sight of her standing there with a puzzled expression.

“Jordan?” she sputters as she blinks at me.

I'm still shaking a bit out of anxiety but I try to hide it as I drink in her appearance.

She looks tired. The once fiery light her eyes used to hold is now replaced with something hollow. My eyes drop down and I take in the sight of her in her purple sweats. Her hair falls down the sides of her face simply and it looks like it needs some brushing but damn…even in this state, I can't seem to take my eyes off her.

She still looks cute as ever and her pretty doe eyes still has that ability to melt my heart anytime she looks at me. She's still the beautiful girl I love and always will no matter what.

“Hey,” I say finally and readjust my backpack on my shoulder nervously. “I..um…I don't know how to say this.”

“How to say what?” sha asks as she closes the door behind her and steps forward.

“So…you know Conan's Found Heaven concert is starting in like a few weeks,” I stutter, not really looking her in the eyes. I force myself to speak, I can't back down now.

“Yes, I do. What about it?” Her brows are knitted together and she staring at me like I've suddenly gone mad.

“Well,” I say, my voice growing quieter. I sling off my backpack, zip it open and take out the ticket.

When I put the backpack back on and look up at her I can see her eyes widening in understanding.

“I…was going to go with um…Albert and I was wondering if you'd like to come with us…?”

Her lips slightly part and she's frozen for a moment, her eyes moving from the ticket to my face and then back to the ticket.

“For real?” She raises a brow at me.

“Yeah…for real.” I look at her with hopeful eyes. “Do you wanna come with us? With me?”

Her lips spread into a grin and my heart warms at the sight. I hadn't seen that beautiful smile of hers in a while and I really missed it.

“Of course, I'd love to, omg!” she cries before surprising me by wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Woah…” I murmur and almost fall backwards but I manage to stay on my feet.

My arms find themselves around her waist immediately and I pull her into a tight hug.

“I'm sorry,” I murmur against her shoulder a moment later. She doesn't say anything. “I had a reason but it wasn't good enough. I really cared about you and I wanted to be with you but I just couldn't…”

“You changed your mind?” she asks as she slowly pulls away.

“I did. I just want to be with you. I want to be happy Star. I just don't care anymore about all of my worries and fears. I just want to be happy…”

Her lips stretch into a brighter smile and my heart clenches in a good way as I see her eyes light up.

“So we can be together?”

“Yes, Star.” I sigh exasperatedly and she laughs.

“I was just making sure. Omg, really?” She clamps her hands over my mouth and then drops them abruptly. “I mean…that's cool.” She shrugs and runs her fingers through her hair nonchalantly.

I let out a laugh and pull her into another hug. This one's better than the last one, it's better than all the other ones we've shared. It's cozy and warm and soothing.

It's more of a you're -here-now-and-I’m-here-and-everything-is-gonna-be-alright-for-now kind of hug.
My heart swells with affection at the way she holds on to me and I bury my face into the side of her neck, pulling her closer even more.

We can be together. I can be with her.

“I can't believe we're going to see Conan!” she squeals against my shoulder and I chuckle at her cute enthusiasm.

“I'm so excited to see him with you,” I murmur against her neck and I can feel her tremble slightly.

“Me too. Little did he know he brought us together.”

“I'm so happy I can finally get to be with you,” I say as I start to pull away from her. “You make me so happy.”

When we pull apart completely, I want to say something but she's staring at me in such a way that makes me want to melt. Her eyes bore into mine with such an intensity that causes my heart to resume pounding against my chest so intensely that I think it'll burst out of my rib cage.

“I love you, Jordan.”