guys im back

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"Hi, Chan. It's been a long time," I said, my voice shaking as I looked at him.

Jisung looked shocked to see me, and honestly, I felt the same seeing him. He seemed so different—calm, even... renewed. Changbin, on the other hand, looked the same: kind, steady, and short as ever. But Chan? The sight of him made my heart ache. His face looked worn, the color drained from him. He looked so miserable, and it hurt to think I might be part of the reason

A pang of guilt hit me hard. Was this my fault?

"Do you want to talk in private?" Chan asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," I responded, my voice small. I followed him into one of the other rooms—a cramped storage room. The air felt thick with tension, and I could hardly breathe, let alone speak.

We stood there for a moment, neither of us sure where to begin. Then, we both spoke at the same time. It was one of those awkward moments that should've made me laugh, but I couldn't find it in myself to.

"Let me start first," I said, trying to keep my voice firm.

"How are you?" I asked, needing to know what had been going on with him.

"Fine," Chan replied, but the word felt empty. It didn't feel right.

"That's a lie, Chan," I said, my voice cracking.

"I said I'm fine!" His voice came out more sharply than I expected, and I felt a rush of anger. Not at him—just at everything.

"Chan," I began, the words flowing from my heart, "I was one of your closest friends since I was 15. You helped me with my college entrance tests. You always told me, 'The tests are hard, but you can tell me anything.' You said I could come to you about anything."

I paused, taking a deep breath, my emotions threatening to take over. "I know you're not okay, Chan. Let me in, please. I want my friend back."

I could see him holding it together, but I could barely keep my own composure.

"I ignored you because I was scared," he whispered. "Scared of being close to my own feelings, scared of everything I couldn't control. I didn't want those feelings to come out. I made new friends, but they all reminded me of you. I couldn't—no, I can't replace you, Chan. It's impossible."

I was crying now, shaking uncontrollably. My breath started to come in short gasps, and my chest tightened. I didn't bring my inhaler. The panic started to hit me hard. I felt like I was losing control of everything around me.

"Jeongin," I heard him call, his voice frantic.

"Jeongin!" he said again, his voice rising, trying to bring me back to reality.

"C-c-c—Chan," I gasped, barely able to speak through my tears.

"Yes," he said, relief washing over his face. He was there—he was really there, trying to help me. He reached out, guiding me to sit down, his hands steadying me.

"Breathe, Jeongin. You're safe here," he whispered, his voice gentle as he helped me through the panic.

He pressed an extra inhaler into my hand—the one he always carried for me in case I had a panic attack and forgot mine. I grabbed it immediately.

One puff. Two puffs. Three. I could finally breathe, feeling the calm settle in, and that's when I noticed just how close I was to Chan.

His face was inches from mine, his eyes locked on me with an intensity that made my cheeks burn. The air between us felt thick, charged. His eyes held something I couldn't ignore—something dark, almost hungry. My gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips, so close, soft, and almost painfully kissable. Every part of me wanted to close that distance, but I forced myself to stay in control.

"You'll be the death of me," he muttered, voice low, breaking the silence as he stood up, leaving the tension hanging thick in the air.

"H-how?" I managed.

"Your siren eyes," he replied, his words melting the space between us. He stood up, giving me that dimpled smile before pulling me into a hug, cradling his head in the crook of my neck.

"I missed you, I.N-ahhh."

He said it so smoothly, like it was something he'd always meant to say. I'd tried to ignore this feeling—the racing of my heart, playing it off as jitters—but what I was feeling now was genuine and real. And this time, I wasn't going to throw it away.

"We should head back before Jisung starts making up some porn story to tell Felix," I joked.

"He won't. Not before Minho rails him, that is." Chan chuckled. "How about we catch up at my house?"

"You know, that's a good idea," I sighed. "My brother and his boyfriend have been at it, and they just won't stop... fucking."

"WAIT. JUNGWON IS IN A RELATIONSHIP? WAIT. JUNGWON IS GAY?"

"Yes and yes—and with Jay, no less."

"THE HEARTBREAKER WHO LITERALLY SAID, 'UNLESS SOMEONE CAN KEEP ME IN THEIR POCKET LOCKET, I'M GONNA BE A PLAYER?'"

"That's the one."

"Wow," Chan said, clearly in disbelief.

"Anyways, enough about my brother. You up for some KBBQ?"

"YES, please. But how about it's *not* spicy?" he teased back.

"Aww, is it 'cause you can't handle it?" I taunted, grinning.

Suddenly, he pinned me to the wall, and I let out a ridiculous squeal.

*WHY DID I FUCKING SQUEAL? AM I A MOUSE?*

"Don't say that again," he whispered, making my heart skip.

With the moment hanging in the air, we left the storage room and headed out, side by side, to get KBBQ.

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i'm hinting at a new book that wont be out till around Christmas new year guess what it is and which couple it will be on