"Earth to Izzy," Becca calls. I blink away my fog and turn my attention to her as she stands there in a pink schoolgirl outfit. Her brown curls are tamed into pigtails and paired with soft makeup leaving her looking far more innocent than she is.

"I'm here," I mumble.

I may be but my mind is once again a million miles away...

"Bullshit." She puts a hand on her hip and frowns at me as she waits for her drink order to be filled. With the club closing down soon to move, it's been packed every night, running us ragged as we work to train the newbies.

"Watch out for Lyla, she's getting extra fresh with the clients." I look over at the tall blond helping out in my section. She's once again lost in banter with a table, ignoring the others.

"I'll see what I can do."

"We'll she listens more to you than she does me." Becca crosses her arms not fond of the new waitress. Her switch energy seems to clash with Becca's making it best for them to be separated. "You sure you're good? You look like you're a million miles away."

"I'm fine, I just can't get her out of my mind." After having it out with Jonathan I've tried really hard to put Loni out of my mind but she seems to have set down roots. He has been very vocal about how their relationship ended but doesn't like to talk about her... which just feeds my imagination.

"Tell me you're not talking about wonder cunt again?" Natasha asks. Her green eyes bore into mine and a frown takes hold, knowing her answer. "Izzy, you know better!"

"I know," I groan, sinking into a seat beside her.

"Viktor says she has nothing on you, and he would know. He's been friends with Jonathan and Anne long enough to be the three musketeers." Natasha arches a brow as if asking me to dispute the fact.

"They must have had something to have been together as long as they had been... The things she knows..." I sigh and palm my face, trying to push away the mental images that my mind conjures of the two of them together.

"What? That Jonathan is an ass man?"Becca chirps. "Girl, the way he salivates and spanks you every chance he gets, a toddler could figure that out!"

"It's not that!" I breathe deep trying to keep myself under control. "She knew more personal things..."

It's as if she was waiting in the washroom to catch me. Natasha was of no interest to her but as soon as I showed any weakness she went in for the kill. What's worse is she cast doubt.

"Ever wonder why a man as consistent and careful as Jonathan would change his mind so suddenly? How he could go about promising to never leave me, then at the drop of a hat, leave town and act like we had nothing?" Her whispered words still haunt me. I can't stop thinking about them and wondering if I'm just next.

When I tried to call her on it, saying she was a liar and that she didn't know him as well as she thought she left me speechless with one simple phrase. Loni leaned in close so only I could hear and repeated the words he once said to me that sent my heart fluttering. "I like control, I like to overpower you and hear you beg..."

I can still see her triumphant smile as she moved away, knowing she won this round. Becca showed up and chased her off with Nat as I stood there utterly shaken. She said just enough to leave me wanting more, wanting answers that Jonathan doesn't seem to give.

As far as he's concerned, his chapter with Loni is over and gone. At first, he indulged my questions but then they seemed to hit a nerve. All he says is that they were together for several months, but that it was different. He always stressed that they were play partners and that was it. Jonathan ended things when she pushed for more because he was too busy and didn't want to bring her with him.

"What happens when business calls and he leaves you behind too?"

Her final question left me numb. The thought of losing him like that stole the very air from my lungs and no amount of reassurance from them could ease my mind. Even after Jonathan promised me he wasn't going anywhere, my heart still feels heavy with 'what ifs'.

"Honey, if they played together, she would have had to learn his preferences or they wouldn't have lasted," Becca tries to reason. "That doesn't mean she knows Jonathan the man, just his Dominant side. What you two have is the total package!"

"I know, I just wish my mind would get the memo." My heart aches and I'm giving myself a headache, replaying this over and over again.

"We could always talk to this bitch and get you all the answers you need," Nat offers.

My eyes widen at the prospect of purposely talking to this viper of a woman. "Somehow she doesn't strike me as the happy to take my call type."

"Hard to ignore you if you're standing in front of her..." There's a mischievous glint in her eyes that assures me she's not joking.

"I hate to admit it, but maybe she's on to something... Don't give me that look! Listen, all I'm saying is that sometimes the only way past some things is through." Becca shrugs and purses her lips. It's never a good sign when they agree yet I can't find fault in their logic.

"No." I shake my head snapping out of the brat trap. "I don't want to give her what she wants... I just want her to get out of my mind."

"I know I'm the new girl and all," Keesha pipes up, setting her tray of empties on the bar. Much like Becca, she's rocking the littles' vibe with afro pigtails and pink-themed makeup, but that little black and white schoolgirl dress says anything but innocent. "You have two options the way I see it. Either you go deal with this bitch that's taking up so much of your headspace..."

"Or?" I ask, desperate for a non-confrontational out.

"Or." She looks over my shoulder, urging me to follow her gaze to where Jonathan and Anne are talking with Taz near the play floor. "You make use of your perfectly capable Dom, and have him quiet your mind for you."

"Choice is yours, but don't let her live in there rent-free." Keesha picks up her orders and heads back.

"Maybe she's right?" Becca offers. "The night's dying down, why don't you go home."

"Thanks." I set my tray down and give in. The three of them can handle what's left so I head in the back and grab my stuff then make my way out to Jonathan.

"Angel," he greets, lifting my chin for a kiss. "What's your pleasure? Want to stay for a bit or call it a night?"

"Can we just go home? I had a busy shift." Jonathan smiles down at me and takes my work bag from me.

"Of course."

"Party pooper," Anne grumbles. She winks as Jonathan guides us out and moves towards the bar.

The ride home is fairly quick and passes easily enough with music playing. Natasha's offer keeps playing over in my mind but the thought of dealing with Loni on purpose sets my nerves on end.

Like always, Jonathan escorts me inside and helps with my shoes and coat before seeing to his own. "Why don't you go upstairs and get comfortable, I just need to do something quickly in my office first."

"Okay." I smile and head upstairs. My heart hammers as I decide to go with option two. Jonathan being busy for a moment will give me the time to get ready before I lose my nerve.

I quickly clean up in the bathroom, leaving my hair up from work and my heavy makeup. Hoping that Jonathan will know what I need, I open the trunk, take out my collar and cuffs and set them on the bed. Hearing him slide the doors closed in the downstairs office I know time is short so I shrug off my robe and drop into position.

Back straight, butt on my heels, thighs apart and palms up on my thighs with one difference. I've chosen a medium flogger and hold it, offering it to him with my body.

My heart flutters in my chest and jumps to my throat as I hear the stairs creak. Each footfall brings him closer to the top, leaving me a quivering mess. I keep my gaze down but don't miss his sharp intake of breath as he enters the bedroom.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Jonathan chants, having recovered. He slowly makes his way over to me, lifting my chin to look at him. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Use me, Sir. Please." I wait, holding my breath as I pray for the right answer.

His gaze darkens as it roams across me before settling back on my face. Jonathan grins and nods. "I can do that."