"Please," I whisper, locking my eyes on Jonathan, "Don't leave."

My chest tightens painfully and my heart races as I wait for him to respond. I know I'm a mess, but the last thing I want is for him to leave. I'm selfish, but when Jonathan is around I feel better, things feel easier and calmer.

"I'm not going anywhere then," he whispers, kissing the top of my head and hugging me tightly. The strength in his warm embrace sets me at ease a little, knowing he's not going to leave me on my own. Guilt consumes me as I think of the emotional rollercoaster I am. I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time, and in the blink of an eye, I'm having a breakdown.

I can't blame him for wanting to get away from me.

"Hey now," Jonathan coos, pulling me onto his lap and bringing his hand up to my cheek, swiping his thumb across my tear streaked cheek. Embarrassed, I bury my face in the crook of his neck and melt into him as I feel him wrap both arms around me securely. The gentle pressure grounds me, reminding me that I'm safe and the damn of repressed emotions crumble in me.

Waves and waves of emotion wash over me, everything I've been brushing away and burying to deal with later hits, demanding to be acknowledged all at once. My chest aches under the crushing despair, crippling loneliness and fear, making it hard to breathe as sobs wrack my body.

"I've got you Izzy," he whispers, rubbing my back while I break down, "Let it all out." My tears come harder, soaking his shirt as I fist it, scared to slip away. I cry until I have nothing left and feel like I'm a boneless heap.

I pull back slightly, looking up at Jonathan through my dark tear laden lashes. His warm brown eyes swim with concern and something else as he takes me in, but he gives me the time I need to gather my bearings first. Gently he tucks my hair behind my ear, tenderly brushing it out of my face to get a better look. I feel my cheeks heat instantly but am unable to break my gaze away.

"That's better eh?" he says, offering me a reassuring smile. My heart flutters at his intensity, and I swallow hard, but nod.

I have no idea how long I cried for but it took a weight off my shoulders I had no idea was there. Even though I had just woken up from an extended nap I feel pleasantly numb and exhausted, like I could slip asleep in the blink of an eye.

But why? Was it because everything came crashing out, or was it because he was holding me together?

My eyes fall to the big wet spot on his shirt and my cheeks heat instantly. I brush my fingers across it, trying to make it go away but it's futile. "Sorry," I mumble, not sure what else to say.

"I have more shirts," he chuckles, loosening his arms around me slightly but not removing them. Uncertainty blooms in me, I don't know what to do. He's been so kind, and I'm such a mess, he deserves better. My mind begins to race and the longer the silence stretches, the more awkward I feel though his gaze never wavers, adding to my nerves.

Without thought I lean up and brush my lips against his, they are so soft and inviting. My move catches him off guard, making his eyes go wide but before I can bring my lips back to his, he holds me back resting his forehead on mine. Jonathan sucks in a deep breath and slowly lets it out before pulling back to look at me. The sting of rejection has me squirming to get away, but his strong arms hold me in place. Tears once again prick my eyes as I fight to keep them from falling.

So stupid! What was I thinking?!?!

"Izzy stop," he orders, stilling me instantly. I stare at the floor wishing I was anywhere but here, I feel too exposed right now, my chest tightens at my vulnerability and I hate it.

"Look at me," Jonathan says softer but I can't, already I feel my eyes watering, if I look at him I'm sure I'll start crying again. When I don't comply he gently cups my cheek and turns my face to his, I close my eyes defiantly, unable to bear his gaze.

"Oh Izzy...I want you to kiss me because you want to, not because you feel obligated."

My eyes snap wide at his admission, freezing me in place. Jonathan wasn't rejecting me, but the situation. Maybe he feels something too?

"I don't," I mumble, still shocked by his words.

"Hmm?" He asks, quirking a brow.

"Feel obligated..." I trail off, dropping my gaze.

"Obligated might be the wrong word," Jonathan muses, caressing my cheek, "But it wasn't a conscious choice."

He studies me with his intense gaze as I digest his words. Maybe he's right, the kiss did feel more like a reaction but the second one I tried was because I wanted it.

"Do you understand what I'm saying Izabella?" He asks, wanting to make sure I follow.

"Yes Sir," I reply with a nod.

"Good girl," he praises, wiping the last hint of a tear from my cheek. "I had meant to reward you tonight, but I think you needed that hmm?"

His voice is soft but has a knowing tone, like he can read me like an open book. Maybe he can. The way I am around him is unique, only he can draw these reactions from me.

I flash him a sheepish smile and nod, feeling considerably lighter than before. "Sorry about your shirt though..."

He chuckles as a crooked grin slips on his lips. "I don't mind one bit Izzy," he confesses. "But I can tell it's bothering you. Why don't I change and you can get us fresh drinks and we can throw on a movie?"

"I'd like that," I admit with a smile. Reluctantly he unwraps his arms, allowing me to slip off of his lap. No sooner am I up do I miss his comforting contact but I gather my wits and the warm drinks and head to the kitchen.

After switching the warm drinks for fresh cold ones I head back to the living room. Jonathan is already back, having changed into a black tank top that shows off his trim physique, stealing all of my attention. I swallow hard, gathering myself once more, noticing he has moved his coaster to the couch.

Jonathan gladly takes the beer I offer him and takes a seat gesturing to the couch beside him. Not wanting to make a fuss I slip in next to him, setting my pop down. I hazard a glance at him and see he's completely relaxed, like I didn't just fall to pieces not long ago.

"Meat lovers or BBQ chicken?" he asks, as he reaches for the pizza.

"Chicken please," I reply. Without hesitation, he dishes up two slices for me and passes me the plate before opening my pop and handing me a napkin. Once I'm taken care of he grabs a couple slices from the other pizza and a napkin before cracking his beer. I smile softly at his consideration, and take a bite of the delicious pizza while he flicks on a movie.

"Zombie land?" I ask when he finally settles on it.

"It's funny, a lil' heartwarming, and more about how people manage," he reasons, leaning back against the couch. Jonathan is so relaxed it's contagious and I feel my tension dissipate just by being close. As the movie progresses, I just can't help but analyze it.

"So the guy is crazy and dealing with the zombie apocalypse by making rules?" I ask having listened to the main character go on about cardio. His logic is solid but this has to but the first time I've seen that in a zombie movie.

"Rules establish boundaries...they bring order to chaos," Jonathan reasons with a strangely pensive look.

"But zombies don't follow rules," I reply with a frown.

"The rules aren't for the zombies, they're for the humans, to maintain discipline," he counters.