Anne showed me around the club, talked about the various activities, the ground rules, and asked me about myself. I remember burning with embarrassment when I didn't have any answers to her questions. Figuratively speaking I was a BDSM virgin, all I had to go off of was what I read online, I never knew anyone in the lifestyle. 

Of course I had googled for hours to try and prepare myself for what to expect in a BDSM club, but there was such a range and Bliss is very secretive, only having limited photos on their site. Other clubs pale in comparison, either being very cramped, or full of very basic equipment that looked cheep with cheep basic restaurant style tables and seating. Not Bliss.

The main part of the club is split into three areas, the largest being the play floor. There are several short raised platforms or lit stations with cozy booths, lounges and sofas sprinkled between for people to socialize while they take in a scene. The props and equipment is all high end. 

Where some clubs might have a St. Andrews cross that looked like it was made with glorified fence boards, Bliss only ever had professional top quality. Dark stained beams looking like they were straight from a ship with strategic black leather padding were adorned with adjustable chain tethers and hefty leather cuffs make for an imposing structure that cold hold a man of Taz's stature.

Bliss was well equipped with everything a person could want or need. Seeing videos on line paled in comparison to seeing it playing out live in front of you. Every look and intimate exchange between the participants that videos leave out, yet are so important to the dynamic.

The second largest area is the bar, which looks a lot like most bars with dark, intimate décor and lighting. At the far side away from the play floor is the aftercare lounge, a quiet intimate area where Doms and submissives go after a scene to comedown away from prying eyes.

Away from the main three areas is a secluded hallway to access the VIP private playrooms. I haven't spent much of any time down there, just the one horrible night, but Bliss is famous for their playrooms. Some are themed like doctor offices, classrooms and dungeons, others are more general purpose but all are stocked with nothing but the best, and their audio monitored for safety.

Anne literally gave me homework that first night after showing me around, passing me a little booklet from behind the bar that was a rather lengthy survey of limits and interests. She had gotten my feet wet with her tour but it was nowhere near enough to be able to finish the survey.

How do you answer what you like if you've never tried anything? Some things were no brainers, toilet play? Hard limit! Knife and blood play, that's a hard no too, but really any of the bodily fluids didn't appeal much to me. Spanking was an easy yes. I had a brief boyfriend who spanked me once during sex. It was unexpected and caught me off guard, but far from a negative experience, it was the final push to make me look into this.

Over the next month or two, Anne explained everything and showed me the things I didn't know or understand. She was slightly disappointed the first night when I politely turned down her offer to be my Domme, but she respected my interest in finding a male Dominant and not wanting to rush into anything.

Her guidance made exploring this side of myself much easier and I felt safe in her club. Anne even introduced me to available Doms that fit my needs. Liam was the first, an attractive businessman, and although we talked quite a bit his busy schedule held him back from being more.

Tyler was the second man she introduced me to, but he was only in town for a short time. He was the one to teach me that there can be pleasure in pain. That a firm hand and discipline can help keep my over active mind in check. He brought me to new highs that I only dreamt about, but he was gone all too soon.

Over the months I grew more comfortable in the tight knit community. Anne had introduced me to many people so even when she was busy and the Doms I had played with were unavailable I always had someone to talk with, or enjoy a scene with. That comfort made me sloppy... That's when I met Alec.

He was charming, charismatic, and knew just what to say to gain my trust. Where other Dominants might be put off by my lack of experience and training, he made me feel ok with it, offering to help me learn all about myself and limits. I kept things very public, and after a month he finally got me to agree to go to a VIP room for a flogging.

I had had a bad week at work, my stress was too high and I needed to get out of my head. Alec promised to have just the thing to help me. The excitement that coursed through my body as he strung me up on the St. Andrews cross had me quivering with anticipation, but that anticipation was quickly replaced by fear. The man that I had spent all this time getting to know, seemed to vanish and in his place was a psychopath, hell bent on his own gratification, ignoring my hard limits.

Bliss is the safest club around. The private playrooms are wired for audio and monitored so that if at any time a safe word is used, staff can intervene if need be. If it wasn't for that, I could have been dead by now, instead I'm just more screwed up then I was to begin with.

Now that I've had a taste, I crave that feeling I get when I submit, but the thought of being so vulnerable terrifies me, in turn feeding my anxiety and shame. Finding a compatible Dominant is hard enough to begin with, how can I ever hope to find one as messed up and confused as I am now?

I sigh, looking at the clock and seeing it's nearly six thirty in the morning. There's plenty of time to change, and get ready for the day. Maybe a good breakfast will make Jonathan forget about last night. There's another shift tonight and I'm determined to make it smooth, I just need to show him that I'm dependable.

With renewed focus I head downstairs and set to whipping up a breakfast fit for a king. His running shoes are missing from the front door so he's probably out for a morning jog.

My heart lightens as I shift around the kitchen, grabbing bell peppers, onions, mushroom and sausage to dice up for an omelet and toss bacon on the stove. In no time the coffee is brewing, perfuming the house while I sauté the diced ingredients. I hear the front door click and a moment later Jonathan walks in, wearing grey joggers and matching t-shirt.

"Izzy, you read my mind!" He exclaims, bee lining for me and the stove. His eyes light up as I hold the bacon plate out for him and he quickly snatches up two strips.

"Hope you're hungry, It'll be ready in ten minutes," I say, focusing on the pans in front of me.

"Starving! But I need a quick shower," he replies apologetically. Jonathan practically runs upstairs and based off of the sound doesn't bother to close the doors as the sound of a running shower reaches me over the sizzling bacon.

Just as I pull the omelet off and sprinkle with another pinch of shredded cheese, he comes barreling down the stairs. Jonathan wears a crooked grin as he takes his seat eager to dig in. I turn the stove off and join him, waiting for him to take what he wants.

He happily takes two slices of omelet and surprises me by serving me one as well, and does the same with the bacon. I risk a quick look up on occasion as we eat in easy silence, noting his relaxed nature. Thankfully he hasn't brought up last night once and that scowl is long gone.

Maybe he's not mad? Now all I have to do is have a good shift tonight and I'll hopefully be able to sleep well... God I'm so tired... Just one good night's sleep, is that too much to ask for?!