"Megan, are you going to that kegger party on Saturday? Josh Garfield is hosting it. His parents are out of town next weekend," Luka asks me over the phone after a rather long silence. We've been talking for hours and I've flopped on my bed, phone put on speaker, laptop propped on my bed frame as I look through the Brandy Melville website for cute clothes at good bargains. My sheets are completely wrinkled and my phone and laptop are slowly dying away and I haven't bothered to charge either of them, something I know I'm going to regret later on. Luka called a couple of hours ago and we've been talking about everything and anything until now. I don't go to parties, he knows that.

"What?" It takes me a minute to process what he said. "No, probably not. I don't go to those kinds of parties," I say, my mind already set.

I hear him sigh over the phone and that's when I know that he really wants to go. I sit up, laptop forgotten, as he asks, "Megan, please? It'll just be for a little bit. I want to say hi to the guys." His voice is pleading. "There will only be a couple of kegs. Nothing will go wrong, I promise."

I sigh, knowing that I'm going to relent in the end. "I'm not drinking. And I'm the designated driver," I say. "I don't drink. Don't even try to force me, Luka, or I swear—" I'm interrupted by his usually-comforting words.

"Don't worry. I would never try to force you to do anything you didn't want to do. And besides, somehow I don't think that a drunk Megan would be a great idea." I can hear his grin through my phone.

I grin to myself. "No, it wouldn't." I sigh and plop back down on the bed so that my chin is propped up in my hands. "Fine. I guess I'll go," I say begrudgingly. He's been a great boyfriend, taking me where I want to go and letting me do what I want to do, so the least I can do is go to a party with him, no matter how stupid I think it's going to be in the end. I hear him almost laugh with excitement through the phone and my heart leaps. Maybe this won't be so bad after all,if he's this excited about it.

"Thanks, Meg. I owe you." He sounds so happy that I am almost confused.

"Why do you want to go so bad?" I have to ask.

He pauses, almost like he's hesitating as he processes my question and forms an answer. "I don't know. I mean. Like. Don't you wanna be seen in public outside of school together? Where there are other people our age?"

I think about it. The whispers, the stares. "No, not necessarily. I mean, it's not like that matters to me. Does it matter to you?" I ask suddenly, the thought striking me.

"Well... it doesn't really matter, I guess, but it would be nice, don't you think?" he asks. "You know, to show that we're together and there's nothing anybody else can do about it."

"Yeah, I guess." It doesn't sound that amazing. To me, I don't really care for parties and public dating. But if that's what Luka wants, then fine. I'm fine going along with it.

"It'll be fun, Meg. I promise," he says.

We hang up a few minutes later and I'm left with this nagging feeling. I don't want to go to this party. Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.

However, Saturday rolls around quickly, too fast for my liking, and I drag myself out of bed late that night after staying in bed doing nothing on my phone all day. My phone is at seventeen percent but there's nothing I can do now. I put it on the charger but the most it'll get up to is thirty or less by the time I'm done changing and getting ready.

I change into white cutoffs and a strappy blue tank top that I only wear for occasions where I have to look "normal" or like the "other girls". By the time I'm done with my makeup, Luka is here and my phone is only at twenty-seven percent. But I take it out of the charger, put it in my purse, and run out to meet him. I told my mom that we were going to a party with only a few people and I think in her brain, it's clicked as one of those "kiddie" parties where there's a cake and candles that you have to blow out. I kind of feel guilty about not bothering to correct her but I know if I did, she wouldn't let me out of the house.

I still have a sinking feeling about this that only gets deeper and more noticeable when I see the people and the bright lights and hear the loud pounding music that seems like it is shaking the house to the very foundation. People are holding red plastic cups that can only be full of beer or some other form of a disgusting alcoholic drink that make me want to gag and couples are already drunkenly making out on the stairways and on the porch. I wrinkle my nose in disgust and Luka smiles at me sympathetically as we walk inside. He grabs my hand as soon as we enter. In here, it's even louder than outside and people are screaming and moaning as they gyrate and twerk to the inappropriate music that makes me blush in shame of our generation. There's a group of guys playing beer pong on the pool table, which is already darkly stained with either vomit or beer, and there are girls wandering in packs around and through the party, roaming. I see Bethany Russo and her groupies and I sink lower behind Luka.

"Luka! My man!" I hear Josh yell from somewhere in the kitchen and Luka and I slowly navigate our way towards him, Luka with his hand up in greeting before we're even there and me plastering a fake smile on my still-red face. "I'm glad you could make it, bro," Josh says, fist bumping Luka and giving him the universal, back-thumping man-hugs. Luka nods at him and turns to me. "I feel like I've never seen you at a party. Didn't you use to be all about this?" I didn't know that but as I think about it, it makes sense. Jake is a notorious partier and I'm sure Luka was too, considering the fact that they are best friends.

"Eh, I've kinda fallen out with all that. You know Meg, right?" Luka asks, turning to me.

"Yeah, of course. Hey, Megan. AP English, right?" Josh winks at me with a huge smile on his face to which I cannot help but smile back.

"Yeah! We're in the same class," I say, greatly overdoing the enthusiasm. Josh either doesn't notice or he doesn't care and he just smiles at me. He hands us both red cups full of a sour smelling, brownish drink but I shake my head, trying to politely hide my revulsion.

"Designated driver," I say, pointing to myself.

"Ah. Staying safe. Glad to hear it," Josh says in what would normally be a sarcastic way but it doesn't sound like he's mocking me. He's still smiling and he's starting to remind me of one of those bobbleheads that are always waving and smiling. The whole effect is sending off a creepy vibe and I back away slowly, so as not to offend him. Luka turns to me, smiling sympathetically as he opens his mouth and says, "I'm going to go talk to the rest of the guys, okay? Do you wanna come with?" Luka asks. I nod. I don't want to get separated in this huge party atmosphere. It's an introvert thing. Socializing plus me equals physical exhaustion.

This plan soon fails. Luka disappears somewhere in the crowd and I'm left wandering around the house, trying to find him. My heart sinks and I'm getting desperate and my phone is dying and I'm about to cry when I hear a voice behind me that suddenly somehow makes everything better.

"Megan, you okay?"

Jake. I rush towards him and hug him, my face only coming up to his chest. But it's solid and firm and comforting. "Thank God you're here. Thank you, thank you, thank you." It's almost like I'm talking to someone else now, instead of Jake. "Luka disappeared somewhere and I'm so lost and I hate it here and I wish I had never gone." Jake rubs my back almost awkwardly and only then do I realize that I'm in his chest.

I back away, embarrassed. My face must be on fire. "Sorry. I'm just really scared and I want to leave and go home but I can't find Luka." I scan the crowd again but I come up empty-handed. His brown hair is nowhere to be seen.

Jake stares down at me. "I mean, I can take you home if you want. I was getting ready to ditch anyway," Jake says at my skeptical glance. I don't believe him. This is Jake Lloyd. He shrugs when I voice my thoughts, though. "This party's boring. I'm going to head out. Wanna come with?"

I don't know if I would use the term 'boring' to describe this party but I go along with it.

I check my phone one last time. Dead. "What about Luka?" I ask. "I can't just leave him here alone. I came with him and I can't just ditch him. I'm supposed to drive him home. And my phone's dead." Jake already has an answer, I can tell from the look on his face.

"I'll text him and tell him I brought you home because you weren't feeling well. I'm sure someone can give him a ride or he can just crash here." He quickly sends off the text and then he takes my arm and guides me outside. I breathe a sigh of relief as I leave the party, the music fading away into background music to my ears. Before we can get far, though, an inebriated Bethany Russo and her drunken gang overtake us.

"Well... well... well..." she says like those means girls in movies, only she's drunk so the effect isn't as horrifying. "If it isn't the freak," she says snarkily. "What are you doing here?" She notices who I'm standing next to and her face turns up into an evil grin. "And why are you with Jake Lloyd? Where's your boyfriend?" Her tone is slurred and it's obvious she's wasted so I don't make any move to respond. I'm not going to waste my time and breath on her right now.

Jake speaks up instead. "I'm taking her home because she's not feeling so well right now."

"Awww, did the freak finally take her first sip of beer? Did she not like it?" Her minions laugh and I ball up my fists in anger.

Jake motions for me to keep walking but Bethany stops me. "Why aren't you with your little boyfriend? Luke or whatever, right? Did you get sick of him like you got sick of Carl?"

"Excuse me?" I finally speak up but my voice is shaky. I try to stop the shakiness as best as I can but I'm not entirely sure it worked.

"Oh, we all know that you go through boys like that." Bethany snaps her fingers and her intoxicated gang all snap theirs too, though it's out of sync and doesn't give the effect I'm sure she was hoping to give. She goes on anyway. "First Carl and then Luka and now you're with Jake? Who's it going to be next? Huh? Maybe Josh? Ryan? Henry?"

"We aren't together," I say, pointing to Jake. "We're just friends."

"Not from what I'm seeing." Bethany looks at me, straight dead in the eye.

Jake steps forward. "Shut up, Bethany. You're drunk. You should just go home. Leave Megan alone." His voice is level and it sounds calm but I can detect a slight edge to it. She must be getting to him too and I'm glad that he's here next to me. But this is my fight. Not his.

"Aww, you need little Jake-y boy here to protect you? Got sick of scrawny Luka Laurence and decided to step up your game?" Bethany gets right in my face and her beer-flavored breath is wafted up my nose. I take this opportunity to slap her hard enough to leave a red handprint on the side of her face and she gasps, holding her face with her manicured hand.

"The little skank attacked me!" she screams. People look at us and I shrink away. "She tried to assault me!" Jake is still standing there, unsure of what to do. He can't exactly hit a girl, sexist as it sounds; not even a drunk one.

I find my strong voice and I'm proud that it doesn't waver as I say, "I did not! And frankly, you're kind of a horrible person. The only one who goes through boys is you! We all know what you do in cheap motel rooms at 3AM in the morning! What's wrong with your own room? Don't want Mommy and Daddy to find out?" I scream. I'm angry and the anger fuels my newly-found courage.

People are starting to gather around to watch us and I step up my game.

"Everyone knows what a cheater you are! You use other peoples' boyfriends to try to get them to break up because you can't get a guy by yourself! You have to use other people!" She gasps and then she starts to laugh and for a second, a shot of ice-cold fear slams through my body.

"You think that's what happened? Are you trying to bring Carl into this? For your information, Carl came to me! Said that you were being a horrible girlfriend. He said he needed an outlet! Apparently, you don't put out. Are you still a virgin? I guess so, according to Carl. So get your facts straight before you come seething and snarling like a sorceress, you witch."

She smirks at me as I reel, stunned. Carl never said that. I know he didn't. We were taking things slow. We agreed together that we would. I find my courage again.

"You know what, Bethany? You come to parties like this just to get drunk and get laid and it's for what? To be popular? Do you really think that's how life works? You do something bad and you think you're cool! But you know what? It doesn't work like that! Maybe it does for the four fleeting years of high school but one day, we're all going to grow up! And one day, when you're forty-something and you're still living with your mother, trying to figure what went wrong in your life, you can think back to now! To all those times that you thought that getting drunk or getting high would solve all of your problems! And don't you dare come crying at my doorstep, begging for money, when I'm successful! Because I will only be there to rub it in your face, to say 'I told you so' and to tell you that you failed at life." I don't know where the words are coming from, only that they are tumbling out of me like a waterfall.

Bethany screams and slaps me, her fake nails scratching the skin off of my face. I grab my face and brace for the barrage of words that Bethany will undoubtedly scream back at me.

"You dumb bitch! You think you're so cool, what with grades and college and crap like that! Well, you wanna know something, college doesn't solve anything. It's not my fault that you live in a perfect world where school is all that matters to you. It's not my fault that you have a mom who actually loves you and cares for you and you have friends who are there for you and a boyfriend who cares about you! It's not my fault that I don't have those things. It's not my fault you're such a Goody-Two-Shoes." Tears are sprouting in her eyes and for a second, I pity her. "So what do I do? I live my life. I have fun because even if I did something else, it wouldn't be worth it because nobody would be there to cheer for me or be proud of me! So why shouldn't I live life to its fullest? Why shouldn't I have fun? Why shouldn't I go through boys? Why shouldn't I?"

I stop. Is Bethany Russo jealous of me?

I level my voice, saying quietly, "Bethany. I'm sorry that everything in your life isn't perfect. But you wanna know something? Nothing is perfect. There is not a single person out there who has a perfect life! But sometimes you have to try to make things as best as you can. Maybe if you cared about grades and college rather than getting drunk, people would notice you! Actual good people, not stoners and perverts and crap people like that!" I hear gasps from the crowd and I'm sure I just offended someone. I continue on anyway because I'm on a roll now. "Maybe I would be there to cheer you on but no, all you want to do in life is bully people like me who you think have so-called perfect lives, and get drunk, and get high, and get stoned, and get laid, and you wanna know what the worst part about all of this is?" I look her in the eyes and I can see the cloudiness from the alcohol and I sigh. "You're so drunk you won't remember half of this tomorrow morning when you're retching in the toilet. It'll be like a distant memory to you. But you wanna know something? I will. I will remember this. And I will remember how you tried your best to make it look like I have a better life than you when in reality, nobody is perfect. Maybe I have some things that you don't but it's not like I have everything in the world! We all have to try hard in life to get somewhere and those who don't try hard have it the worst. So don't go blaming me for your reluctance to have a good life. Sure, drinking is fun while it lasts but do you ever stop to think about the hangovers the next day? Do you ever stop to think that maybe your fun isn't always going to be fun forever?" I look her in the eye. "I would willingly be your friend if you were nice. If you tried. If you cared about something other than boys and drugs and drinks."

She is embarrassed; I can see it in her eyes and one her face as she struggles to find words to respond. Finally, she scoffs. "I wouldn't want to ever be your friend, skank." She sounds angry but I can see I hit a nerve somewhere in that tirade. She gives a motion to her friends and walks off haphazardly in a lopsided line. The crowd starts to disperse though several drunk guys whistle and catcall and some slap me on the back. I sigh and motion to Jake, tired and drained and ready to finally leave.

"Please take me home," I say. Jake nods and motions for me to follow him. He doesn't say a word about what just happened and I send him a silent thanks for it. I don't want to talk about it.

We're halfway to his car when I hear Luka shouting behind me. I turn around and he catches up to us a few seconds later, panting. He looks between Jake and me but he says nothing to acknowledge the fact that I'm walking with Jake. To his car. He trusts me enough to know that I wouldn't do anything wrong. But he still says,"Wait. Megan. Where are you going without me?" He looks genuinely hurt and I look at him slowly, my heart rejoicing at seeing my boyfriend once more. I apologize profusely.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't find you and I got lost and then Jake came and I asked him to take me home and then I had a huge fight with Bethany Russo—"

"I know, I saw that. You were amazing out there, Meg. Badass. My strong, brave girlfriend." He kisses me, deeply and slowly, and Jake grimaces in the corner of my eye. I pull away, though it's difficult to do so.

"Luka. Can we please go? Or if you want to stay I can still go with Jake, right?" Luka looks pained, almost as if he can't decide. "I mean, he's just going to take me home. It's fine."

Jake quickly nods. "Of course. Anytime, anywhere. I'll always be there for you, Meg." He seems to only just realize that Luka, my boyfriend, is standing there because he adds, "As friends." Luka looks at Jake.

"We need to talk sometime. About... stuff." Jake nods, looking pained like he knows already what they're going to talk about. All of a sudden, I feel really tired. The exhaustion has overcome me and I suddenly slump into Luka's arms.

"Let's go home," I hear him murmur.

"Yes, please," I hear myself say. I feel strong arms pick me up and I am transported to a car. When I get home, I slowly kiss Luka, drag myself out of the car, upstairs to my room, and collapse on the bed, fully clothed and all, as I fall into a deep...

Deep...

...slumber.