Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: the sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence.

Mae

I heard the door to Razor's office close, so I put my phone away. "He's coming," Zach whispered.

"Ask him what he knows about the Serpents," I whispered. "In a subtle way." Last time I wanted to know if we could skip out on a weekend drop off, so I told Zach to ask, and he said 'Mae wants to know if we can skip out this weekend'. Who does that?!

Zach got up, so I slid over, and he sat next to me. Billy slid into the booth first and then Razor sat at the end.

"What do you know about The Serpents?" Zach asked.

"Why?" Billy asked, quickly.

"Just curious," Zach told him.

"We have an alliance. Their Leader is Damien King. That's not a surprise to anyone so that's why I'm telling you. You've fought for them a couple of times. It was an exchange," Billy answered. "Damien is in your grade. You haven't heard the rumors or is Mae asking?"

"No." I signed.

"Liar," Billy called. "You think Damien's hot?" He gave me a goofy grin and leaned in a bit.

"No." I signed, and he smiled.

"Okay. If you say so," He said and raised his right eyebrow, so I nodded.

"Get to the point," Razor said.

"You have a fight this weekend," Billy told us as Razor ordered another beer.

"Yeah, big pay," Zach said, and we were both happy. Even though Razor and his guys helped Zach and I, it came with a price. The Black Scorpion's basically owned our asses. Well, until we could pay off that debt.

Razor offered any car that I wanted. It didn't matter the price. He said he would get it for me, and me being a fourteen-year-old and not knowing it was a trick, got a really expensive and a really fast car.

That was a big debt to pay. I wanted to buy a car after I saved up enough money to buy the car that I wanted. Razor didn't let me pay him the debt with my own money, it had to be the money I worked for but no one would sell me one, so I went to Razor. He told people not to sell me one, so I had to buy one from Razor.

"After three more fights your debt will be paid," Razor said and started chugging his beer. Razor changed. He wasn't the same person anymore, but I couldn't blame him. After what happened to him, I would have changed too.

"Well... actually... we were going to give all of it to you so that way it would only be one more fight. This upcoming one," Zach clarified. Razor slammed his beer on the table and laughed.

"You just want to leave?" Razor asked. He leaned in and glared at me. "You can't leave."

"Keep cool, man," Billy said.

"Shut the fuck up, Billy," Razor said, tired of hearing Billy's voice. "For once in your god damn life, just shut the fuck up." After what happened with Sophia, Razor and Billy's friendship took a breaking point. One that could never be fixed.

~Flashback~

Two years ago

Razor, Jose, Josh, and I came back from a drop. Billy wasn't feeling too good, so he stayed back. I was glad that we made it back a little sooner than we were supposed to. That way I can do some homework.

I liked doing it at the bar. It was kind of fun. Especially, when I would ask Razor's men if they could help me. They would end up getting mad and then making a bet on whoever could teach me first.

I would always make a bet with Aaron or Billy because they would give me some of the profit. Some of the other guys would win, but I preferred Aaron or Billy. But of course, I played fair.

I set my bag down on the counter and the guys huddled around me. I found it funny. They all looked at my homework but none could figure it out. Despite them having stern faces, they were all nice. They all had some kind of family. Whether that meant humans or some other kind of animal.

"Am I going to be making any money?" Billy asked and rubbed my hair. When is he going to start treating me like an adult?

You're fifteen.

"No," I signed. He knew what that meant.

"No? Why no? I don't know if you know this, kid, but I've got a knack for this kind of thing," Billy said and pulled up a chair next to me. Kid? He's only four years older than me.

I heard glass breaking upstairs before Razor rushed up there. I heard him yelling for someone to call an ambulance. He ran downstairs with Sophia in his arms. She was foaming at the mouth, and Razor was yelling at everyone to call an ambulance.

"You can't!" Billy shouted over a yelling Razor. "It was your stash, man! You'll go down twice as hard. She wouldn't want you to do that!"

"You don't know shit!" Razor yelled. He checked Sophia's pulse and froze. "I-I don't feel anything... I don't feel anything!" He started chest compressions, and he wouldn't stop.

"No one's calling the ambulance," Billy stated, but Razor wasn't listening because he was doing chest compressions. "Razor, stop!"

"Call an ambulance or I'ma kill someone!" Razor yelled. He kept doing chest compression, and a crack was heard, making Razor stop his actions. He broke her sternum. Razor got up slowly and kept looking at Sophia in shock. "You killed her!"

"No, I didn't," Billy said. Razor came after him and tackled him on the pool table. "I didn't do it! You have to believe me, brother! Please!"

"Then who gave it to her?!" Razor asked and stopped trying to fight Billy. He got off him and started looking around. "Everyone knew to keep it away from her. She was trying to get sober!"

A couple of hours before the drop, Sophia needed help moving some boxes that came today, but she told me to take one of them to her room. When I was picking the box up I tipped over the lid and saw crystals. I just thought she was collecting crystals.

Razor was looking around but all of the guys were shaking their heads; they didn't know anything. Razor looked at me, and I couldn't look at him.

"Do you know anything?" Billy asked. My hesitation gave them an answer. "Kara! Do you know anything?!"

I nodded.

Razor grabbed the back of my neck and shoved me to the bar. I cringed my face when my ribs hit the bar, making my skin feel pinched.

He held my head to the keyboard so I could type. I started typing when he let go, but I didn't show them until after I was finished typing.

I was helping Sophia with some crates and she wanted one in the room. The lid opened and I saw crystals but I just thought she was collecting crystals. Like rocks. I'm so sorry, Razor!!!! You have to believe me. I never meant for any of this to happen.

When I showed Razor, he was furious. He grabbed me and started dragging me to Sophia's dead body. I started crying, silently and kept shaking my head no as he dragged me.

"YOU DID THAT!" Razor screamed in my face. "Tell her you're sorry. Speak up!"

"Razor, stop!" Billy told him and tried to take him off of me, but he couldn't. Razor pushed Billy away and kept trying to get make me speak.

"Razor!" Aaron shouted but when Razor didn't respond, Aaron called Razor by his real name. "Don't you dare hurt a hair on that girl's head."

"Let go. Or I'll make you let go," Billy said, with a deadly tone, and Razor snapped his head towards Billy.

"What did you say?" Razor asked, and Billy stood in his place.

"You heard me. The only reason you have The Black Scorpion backing you is because my old man died first," Billy said, and Razor let me go. I couldn't see Razor's face, but his body was tense. "Yeah, I said it. You know damn well that if I wanted to take this from you, I could. Hell, these guys were ready to look at me when your pops died. What does that tell you? Hmm?"

Razor turned back to me and grabbed me by my neck. He was gripping me too hard, it was hurting my jaw.

"You're mine now. You'll do what I say when I say it. If I want you to drive for me, you will. You will race for me; fight for me. Hell, if I'm too tired, you'll kill for me. Understand?!" I nodded, and he shoved me back before storming out of the bar.

"Follow him. Make sure he doesn't do something stupid," Billy said and two guys followed Razor.

~End of Flashback~

I looked at Billy after Razor snapped at him. Their friendship wasn't how it used to be, but it wasn't because Billy waved his should-have-been leader role in Razor's face, it was because of the reason Sophia broke her sobriety.

Later after she died, it came out that Billy and Sophia slept together. She felt guilty and the only thing that made her feel better was a high. A complete rush, but she took too much, and she overdosed.

It wasn't just a one time hit it and quit it type of thing either. Sophia and Razor were planning on having a baby, but Billy and Sophia happened.

She got pregnant but terminated the pregnancy before anyone could find out. She didn't want to take the chance of having a baby with the man she wasn't with. Razor found her medical records when he was cleaning out her things.

"I'll see you then," Razor said and left the booth.

"Practice," Billy smiled and left the bar. Zach and I left the bar before we had to stay longer.

*~*

Two days later

I had a fight today. Big money. I got in my car and drove to the bar with Zach. It was a full house tonight. They were going to follow us to the fight.

"Hey, Kara, Sorry about what happened to your dad," Aaron slurred a little and took another shot. "Must have been a great pal."

The way he said it sounded sarcastic. He didn't need to say that, he knew what kind of monster Mitch was.

"Thanks," I signed. Maybe he's drunk, drunk. They knew a couple of words in sign language but not much. The one who knew the most was Sophia. I really missed her. I felt guilty at times, but Billy told me it wasn't my fault, that she knew what she was doing.

"One less pig," Razor said. He knew Mitch was a cop but when he found out, it was hard for me to regain their trust.

~Flashback~

Three years ago

Billy was training me to fight. He said I was probably one of his best drivers, and I had a mean right hook, so I should fight and get more money.

It's been three months since I've met Razor, and he's treated me good. I got money to buy both Zach and I clothes, so we weren't embarrassed anymore. I got him a nice pair of cleats for football as well.

"When you fight use your core, that's where strength will come from," Billy said. He grabbed my waist, and I winced.

Mitch didn't get to drink yesterday because the bar was closed. He took that anger out on me with a couple of kicks to my stomach.

It's been three months, and I never spoke to them or made a sound. They weren't sure if I could speak or make any sounds, but I could.

They knew my name was Mae, but they said here, I could be Kara. That I could be whoever the hell I wanted, but I knew I would always be Mute Mae to everyone.

They all stopped what they were doing, and Billy helped me up; we just stared at each other. I pulled a straight face, but he called bullshit. He came forward to me, but I backed up.

"Leave her," Josh said from the bar. Billy didn't listen. He came after me again, so I jumped out of the ring.

"What are you hiding?" Billy asked. "Are you wired? We know you're dad's a cop."

"She said she wasn't like that. Leave the poor girl alone," Aaron told him, but Billy didn't listen.

Billy grabbed me, so I swung, but my fist was got by a guy. One guy grabbed my right arm and the other grabbed my left arm, so I started squirming. Billy lifted my shirt, and I knew he saw the purple-green bruise that went across my abdomen.

He told the guys to let go, so I stormed out the bar. "Kara, wait!" Billy shouted after me. "Mae!"

"Who did it?" Jose asked. "I'll kill him!" Jose was funny but when you messed with someone he cared about, he'd hurt whoever he needed to if it was fair. If there was no better punishment for a person, he'd kill them.

"Did someone do this to you?" Aaron asked, so I shook my head. I knew better than to snitch.

"Is it Zach?" Josh asked, and I took a step towards him because he thought of my brother that way.

"Don't speak about her brother that way," Jose told him, and Josh apologized. "You can't speak badly about the ones she cares for."

"I speak badly about you sometimes. She doesn't do anything then," Josh joked.

"Shut up. Both of you," Aaron said as he walked out.

"Is it your dad?" Billy asked, and I involuntarily snapped my head towards him because he guessed it right. Billy looked mad. Pissed actually. He pulled out his keys to his Harley and got on his bike. I shook him so he would stop, but he didn't.

"Let him," Aaron said and got in his bike. He rides when he has to. Other then that, he doesn't because he said his age shouldn't be riding bikes anymore. I told him he should ride more and now he actually does. I looked Billy in the eyes and parted my lips to speak. Mitch would kill me if he found out.

That was the first time I was going to speak to Billy, who was waiting for me to speak. He looked shocked but still paid attention to see if I would speak. I closed my mouth once I heard Mitch's voice in my head. This time much worse.

"Fine," Billy sighed. "For a second, I thought you were going to speak."

Me too.

I nodded, and we went back to the bar. Billy went upstairs and once he came out, Razor was with him. I looked at Aaron, and he smiled. "We take care of our own," he said and the rest nodded. Razor talked to me and said he'd train me harder to fight back. To fight in matches and if I needed to, to fight back Mitch.

"One day," Sophia said. That was all she said but the rest of the guys nodded and cheered their drinks. I didn't know what that meant.

~End of Flashback~

"To that one day," Aaron said and held out his beer to the guys, and they all shouted before taking a shot.

"M.K, come here," Billy said. He called me M.K because it was the initials of my first and middle name. Aaron followed me and Zach to Razor's office while Jose and Josh were in there. "We have some news."

"What kind of news?" Zach asked.

"The bet for you winning is sixty grand. You said since you didn't want to keep any of it, it'll go to us," Razor started. My fights were worth a lot and that's mainly because everyone bets for me. "Tonight this guy is huge. People have doubts, and I'm starting too as well." I shook my head and looked at Zach, so he could translate.

"Don't have doubts. I can take him and bring in that sixty grand," Zach translated. Jose looked at his hands and then back at mine. He was always amazed by how Zach and I communicated.

In the beginning, he was convinced we were lying to him when I would sign to Zach but with a couple of smacks from Sophia and Aaron, he eventually understood.

"No," Razor said. "I'm having doubts because I don't think you can lose this fight." I was confused. Shouldn't I win?

I looked at Billy, but he avoided eye contact. "If you Loose... you'll bring in a hundred grand."

"Holy shiii..." Zach didn't finish his sentence because he was going to curse. Zach looked at me, but I shook my head. Did he bet against me?

"You don't really have a choice," Razor deadpanned. "Lose the bet or face the consequences." I picked up my hands to sign, but Razor stood up. "The only thing that you better be signing is yes."

"Yes," I signed, and he nodded. He told me to get out and head over to the warehouse, so I did.

"I'm sorry, M.K," Billy said.

"Me too," I signed, and he rode in back of me on his bike. I manually activated Lexi and entered her to search for bugs. Anything that they could be listening to but there were none.

"Are you going to lose?" Zach asked, but I couldn't answer because I wasn't sure myself. "Mae?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't want to and it's not like that money is going towards me. I already told him I don't want the money. It's not like he'll give me any money and even if I did, I'll just be in a bigger debt because it's money that he didn't have to give me."

"Do you even know what he'll do to you?" Zach asked, and I shook my head. I always listened to Razor, so I would never find out what disobeying him would look like.

"You either stand with me... or against me," I deadpanned and then busted out laughing.

"Don't be so dramatic," he said but laughed as well. "You've faced Mitch... you'll face Razor too, I'll stand with you. I just hope you won't have any regrets."

"Me too."

"You know you won't get to race or fight on the Eastside anymore?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I'll race and fight on the Southside. It's where we live anyway. Might as well fight in our hometown," I said. "I've fought there anyway so some people know I'm serious."

Once we arrived at the location the fight was taking place, I pulled my hoodie up, and we went inside. I saw the guy I was fighting. He standing in the ring, waiting for me.

"The guy's name is Ely. You'll have three rounds. Go in swinging. Win the first round and then lose the second two," Billy told me, so I nodded, understanding what I was supposed to do.

I got in the ring and Ely popped his neck and his knuckled. I pointed at him and bounced my shoulders up and down to let everyone know I was laughing. They laughed at the guy and he started getting mad everyone was laughing at him. That's right, get mad and come after me.

The bell rang and Ely came after me. I punched him but that did little. I put my right leg in the back of his left leg and pulled, so he fell down.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

I got on top of him and kept punching. Blood started rolling down the sides of both his cheeks, and they called it. I won the first round. We went back to our corners (we only get one break), and Zach gave me some water.

"Let me talk," Aaron said, and I looked down. I know he was going to convince me I should lose. That it would be best for everyone, but I cared about what people thought of me. I always have and I always will but when it came to fights, it was different.

I didn't care if they thought I was undefeated and top-notch. I worked hard to be at the place I was. I cared I had a winning streak. I never lost before, and I didn't plan on breaking that streak. At least not for Razor.

"Make it quick," Zach said and backed away.

"I know Razor wants you to lose but is that what you want?" He asked, so I nodded. "This only works if you're telling me the truth, slugger."

"No," I signed, lowly. He looked back up at me and nodded.

"I thought so. I want you to win too because when I see you fight, it feels like you're not completely here but at the same time you are. You're not fighting the person in front of you, you're fighting yourself. It's a battle you've won against yourself every time, you shouldn't lose now. You're trying to win to prove a point but is it really for what others say or is it for what you say?"

"Me," I answered.

"And what do you say?" He asked.

"Win," I told him, and he nodded.

"Then you go out there and you win," he stated. "Go get 'em, slugger."

The bell rang, so I got back up and was ready to fight. We kept circling each other, and I looked past the guys and saw Aaron, he nodded. I looked at Billy, and he was watching intently. So was Razor.

The guy punched me, and I fell to the floor. He kicked me and kicked me again. I was stuck. Do I fight and win and go against Razor? Or do I lose and win their gang a hundred grand? The guy picked me up and made me stand as he punched me. I blocked him, but he pulled my legs back making me hit my head on the floor as I fell. I stayed laying on the ground, and they started calling it.

"Three... two..." they counted, but I got back up and everyone cheered. I looked at Razor, and he was shaking his head, telling me, silently to don't do it. I'll deal with that later. I looked at Aaron, and he had a proud look on his face.

"Fight back," he signed and that touched me. It gave me courage. I turned back to the guy as he was swinging, and I ducked.

"I've had a long day," the guy growled.

It's about to get even longer.

I punched him and punched him. Somewhere in between punching, I forgot I was fighting. I hadn't realized they pulled me off. I couldn't even lift my arm to announce myself the winner because they were sore from punching the guy.

I won.

I looked back at the guys and Razor was dragging Zach out the building. I jumped out of the ring and chased after them. "Get in your car, meet me at the garden," Razor said and pushed Zach to my car. I clutched my fist, and Razor stopped walking and turned back to me. He looked down at my fist and walked towards me, but Billy got in his way.

"Keep walking, brother," Billy told him.

"We'll race," Razor said, so I nodded. I wasn't losing this race. I felt it. I was already out with Razor.

We left and Razor and I were racing. He had a fast car. He also had a bike but preferred his car. He was ahead, but I went around him and passed him. He tried getting in front of me, but I kept cutting him off. I was the first to make it to the garden.

"You're really pushing it," Zach said.

"Might as well," I said. "We're done with. He's done with us."

We both got off the car and walked through the garden. Jose and Josh were already waiting inside the little house that was at the center of the garden.

I smiled at them, but Josh looked away, and Jose turned to the fire that was on. I looked at Zach, and he nodded to himself. He knew I was telling the truth when I said we were out.

"You were supposed to lose," Razor said.

"She couldn't," Zach answered for me.

"I know," Razor was calm. I hated it when someone was angry, but they kept calm. I never knew when they were going to snap or how angry they truly were. "Although... she was encouraged." He turned to Aaron, and Aaron nodded.

"She shouldn't have to do anything she doesn't want to," Aaron told him. "It was about her. Never about you."

"But it felt like it was for me," Razor said. "Check the iron." Jose went to the fire and put a thick glove on before taking out an iron with a flat bottom that was red. It brought back memories from Mitch. I closed my eyes, and my palms started sweating.

"What are you doing?" Zach asked. Josh and Billy rushed me and pushed the top half of my body, down on the table that was in the center of the room. Jose was holding onto Zach. Zach tried fighting, so Jose held him at gunpoint. "Okay. Okay!"

"Put her on the table," Razor ordered, and they put me on the table. I tried fighting back but all I managed to do was turn on my back until they grabbed my arms again. "I would say stop fighting but apparently you don't know how to do that."

"She trusted you!" Zach shouted.

"The fact that you say trusted, Zachary, should tell you why I'm doing this," Razor told him. "I can't have anyone who doesn't trust me."

I looked at Billy through watering eyes. I kept shaking my head, but he didn't care. He looked away and forced me back to the position I was previously in. Razor rolled up the bottom of my sweat pants and grabbed my legs.

"Don't! Please!" Zach pleased. My calf had a small tattoo on it. It was of a scorpion. I didn't want it, but Aaron and Billy asked me if I would get one. "This is your fault, Billy! Aaron! Fix it!" Zach kept pleading, but they didn't listen.

"She won't make a sound. She never does," Razor assured them. I didn't want to get burned. I could cover it, but I couldn't tell them that.

"She's still human! She feels pain!" Zach told him. Aaron got the iron but set it back down.

"If you want it done, do it yourself, huh?" Razor asked and pushed Aaron out the way. I looked up and saw Razor take the iron out and walk behind me. "It'll be quick. Then we're done." I could feel the heat getting closer, and I started squirming.

"Don't move," Billy said. I turned my head and looked at him. I shook my hand, the one he was holding, but he looked away; he wouldn't look at me.

I shook my hand again, but he still couldn't look at me. I felt the iron pressing against my skin. It was too much.

I screamed a shrilling scream. It was as loud as I could. Half was because I couldn't hold it in from the pain and the other half was because Billy wasn't looking at me. I wanted him to know that I was in pain and he failed on his promise to protect me.

The pain was too much. I wanted to pass out. I was tired from the fight and now this. I looked up at Billy as I dropped my head on the table. He looked hurt and shocked.

The iron was still on me and it was too much. I could smell my flesh burning. It was a horrible smell that made me want to throw up. That burn didn't only burn me physically but mentally as well. I could picture how horrible it looked from Zach's point of view. That memory will forever be burned into my mind.

He didn't need to keep it on my leg for that long, so I pushed a shocked Billy and fell on the floor. I felt as the iron grazed my leg, making it feel hotter.

Zach rushed to me and helped me up. I was only able to stand on my right leg, as it was untouched. I looked at Aaron, and he was going to say something, but Zach stopped him.

"Thanks for your promise. That was great protection," Zach said, sarcastically. Billy and Aaron were the only ones Zach really trusted. Zach helped me out of the house, and I drove home. I didn't want to go fast, so I drove slower than I normally did. "I see why you drive fast. I feel like a granny is driving."

I picked up speed but it didn't feel the same. It felt empty. I lost close friends. People I knew for a couple of years that meant a lot to me. "I keep trusting people, and they keep giving me reasons not to."