I see beauty in everything but myself.

Mae

I turned over, glancing at Ryder. He was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over with tears, trying his hardest not to let his tears fall, not to fall apart himself and cry. He was going through something, but I wasn't sure how to console him—or if he even wanted me to.

"Ryder," I whispered, reaching out to him, but he shook his head, fighting his tears and himself. "Are you okay?"

Asking those three simple words was all it took for the wall he built to come crumbling and crashing down. The tears fell, and he couldn't stay strong anymore.

"Mae." He inhaled a sharp breath. "Mae, it hurts." Ryder's voice broke as he clutched his chest. I scooted closer, bringing him into my chest, and hugging him as tightly as he hugged me. He cried as I ran my hand up and down his back, trying to soothe him. Eventually, he stopped and pulled away, wiping his tears as he sat up.

I looked at him as he nibbled on his lip, trying his hardest to hold back more of his cries. As soft as I could, I asked, "Are you okay?"

"You probably think I'm a wimp." He tried smiling but failed. He couldn't continue his humorous, courageous guy exterior at the moment, but he didn't need to. He didn't need to do that with me.

"No." I shook my head. "Everyone cries. We're human; it's hard to hold it in sometimes."

"Do you ever wish you could forget something—a memory? Or, someone?" He asked. "It's like, at the same time, those memories are the happiest ones I can remember, but now that the person's gone, those memories bring the most pain. They're not happy memories anymore, and now, I just wanna forget everything—my pain, my love, myself.

"But I can't. And it seems like that's the hardest part. And it begs the question, is it even worth loving someone? We invest all of our time in someone—our trust, our vulnerability, our love, and we expect and hope for them not to hurt us, and what happens? We end up paying the price. It hurts. It fucking hurts. And I don't know what to do. I have this void I need to fill but can't, and it's like I'm drowning in my pain and sorrows, and for what? What was the purpose?"

I didn't have the answer, but I didn't think he was looking for one. I believe he just needed to rant. I took a shaky deep breath in and exhaled.

"I don't know," Ryder mumbled, shaking his head. "Thank you for listening to me ramble." He offered a small smile, and I nodded.

"Of course." I offered a small smile back. He grabbed his pillow, cuddling with it, and turned away from me.

His questions, everything he said, it all made me think. Was I eventually going to get heartbroken?

If I knew the truth to that answer, at the time, I think I still would have fallen in love with Damien.

A woman started running down the hall after putting a bag on the couch. She came back a little while later with another bag in her hand. I knew who she was. I couldn't see her face, but I could feel it.

"Where are you going, mommy?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"Are we going with you?" Zach asked as we stood next to each other, waiting for her to stop moving, and come to us. She set the bag down by her feet as she kneeled before us.

"Mommy's going somewhere that doesn't allow children, but don't worry. I'll come back." She kissed Zach and me on the forehead before looking at us. "I love you so much." Tears pricked her eyes, making me want to start crying too.

"I love you too, mommy." I hugged her, and she hugged me back with so much strength it began hurting. "Ow, mommy. You're hurting me." She let go and cupped my face.

"I'm sorry, but mommy's just really, really going to miss you. Do you forgive me?" Tears fell faster as she waited for me to reply.

"Always, mommy. But you haven't done anything." She kissed me on my forehead, letting her lips linger before she pulled away, doing the same to Zach.

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a notepad, writing something down. After she finished, she came back to us.

"Okay, mommy's going now. I love you both so, so much. I'm never going to forget you, not ever, and I hope you never forget me." I was confused about why she was saying it like she was never going to see us again. 

She was going to be with us forever, right? That's what mommy's do. They protect us, love us, forever? 

She took off her necklace, putting it on me. "Mommy, this is your necklace." I fiddled with it gently, not wanting to damage it.

"I know. My mother gave it to me, and I wanted to give it to you. When you have a daughter give it to her." She tucked it in my shirt and kissed my forehead along with Zach's.

She stood, picked up her bags, and walked out the door, never looking back. I was scared just waiting inside the house alone with Zach, so I ran to the door and looked at her leave in a yellow car that she would sometimes take to work.

"Mommy, wait!" I cried out to her, running toward the yellow car, but she got in, and it drove away. She never even looked back. "Mommy!"

I woke up feeling the same feelings I did when I saw my mom leave. It didn't feel like I was dreaming; it felt like I was there again as a seven-year-old, watching my mom leave us for the first time, and now I knew—she never intended on coming back. She never even looked back at me, never waved, or blew a kiss like she would when she left for work.

I looked at what was in front of me and saw Ryder's bareback. Why was he shirtless? That wasn't the only thing I noticed.

Oh, god. 

Ryder and I were spooning.

And I was the big spoon!

I rolled over but fell on the floor with a thud. I groaned, trying to get up, but I was tangled with the sheets. I tried freeing myself, but the more I struggled, the more tangled I became. I huffed and stopped struggling.

"A little help," I said, hoping that Ryder was awake, but it sounded muffled because the comforter was covering my face, and I couldn't even move my arms; however, this felt vaguely comfortable. I laid there, lifeless as I remembered my dream. I guess I lied to her just like she lied to me.

"Trying to sleep. Don't be rude." Ryder groaned.

"I'm stuck. Help me." I heard Ryder laughing as he got out of bed.

Ryder untangled the comforter and kept laughing. He helped me up but stopped laughing once he saw my face.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I touched my cheeks and felt half-wet and half-dried tears. He gave me a sad smile, and I remembered last night, how I was there for him, and now, he was being there for me. He cupped my face, wiping my tears away, smiling, trying to cheer me up, but we jumped back from the sudden voice in the room.

"What the hell's going on?" I looked at the doorway, seeing a frustrated and perplexed Damien standing, holding a pink box and flowers. I smiled, knowing it was for me, and felt happy that he was back. That happiness soon faded when I saw his expressions. I had never seen him so angry; it kind of scared me.

"Hey, bro. Welcome home!" Ryder chirped, holding up his hands. "Where's Bennett?"

Bennett peeked his head in the room and looked between us. "You didn't, dude." Bennett looked disappointed, but I couldn't comprehend why.

"Didn't what?" I asked, taking a step toward Damien to hug him. "Why didn't you text me you were coming? I would have showered." I laughed, but he moved out of the way, walking farther into my room.

"What happened?" Damien asked, looking between Ryder and me.

"I don't know. Tryin' figure that out myself," I told him, confused about why he was acting so strange.

Damien looked at Ryder with a vague expression that looked like if Damien wanted to, he could have pounced on Ryder and possibly ripped off Ryder's head. Damien took a deep breath, releasing it.

"Don't make me ask again, bro." Damien glared at Ryder with disdain, resulting in Ryder to put his hands up, a smile on his face.

"What are talking about?" Ryder asked. Despite him smiling and finding some part of this scenario humorous, he was just as baffled as I was.

"Does the bro code mean nothing to you?" Bennett asked, an incredulous tone sounding in his voice.

"Bro code?" Ryder asked, confused.

"C'mon, man," Damien said. It was clear he was angry, but I didn't know or understand why. "I'm trying really hard, man. Like, I'm really fucking trying not to get pissed."

"Why?!" Ryder asked, raising his shoulders, his chin protruding.

"Why the fuck are you naked with my girl?!" Damien snapped, and my eyes widened not because he called me his girl—which I thoroughly enjoyed, of course—or because he shouted, but because he thought Ryder and me... he thought... I couldn't believe it.

"It's not what it looks like," Ryder spoke after a long silence. I was shocked, but when I saw Damien's anger, it silenced me. The rage in Damien's eyes reminded me of someone.

Mitch.

I hated that there was even a comparison because Damien was not that person, at least, not to me, so I pushed that fear away because he would never hurt me, right?

He has before, my subconscious reminded me.

Not physically, I thought.

I looked at Damien, seeing the betrayal in his eyes as he looked at me, my body, then Ryder's body. I was wearing one of Zach's old sweatshirts he was supposed to donate, but I ended up keeping it because it was huge, and I liked it. For the first time, I realized that since the sweatshirt was so long, no one could see my shorts underneath. To everyone else, it must have looked like I rolled out of bed from a wild night in only a sweatshirt. I looked at Ryder, seeing him in only his briefs, and I lightly smacked his arm.

"What did I tell you?" I sneered.

"So you did do something together," Damien said as he clenched his fist, ire radiating off of him. Damien looked down, frozen in his spot, and I knew he was trying his hardest not to do something he was going to regret. "I'm trying, I'm trying my hardest..." He stopped talking, and I knew it was because if he continued to speak, he would yell in anger, and say something he didn't mean, or maybe something he did mean, but shouldn't say.

"Let us explain," Ryder said.

"I don't know if I even want you to," Damien said, dropping the flowers on the floor, and tossing the pink box to Bennett. Damien looked at me and shook his head. "I let you in, Mae."

"It's really not like that!" I told him, walking up to him, but he looked away. When I tried wrapping my arms around him to make him stay, when he wanted to leave, he kept avoiding my touch and moving his arms so that it blocked my hands. "For crying out loud, dude, I have no idea why he's naked!"

Damien looked at me, and I frowned. As he looked at me, I knew he wanted to believe me. It felt as though even if he had caught Ryder and me cheating on him, he would want to believe we didn't do anything because he cared too much to let go, cared too much to lose me.

"Mae," Damien whispered with a soft and gentle tone. It sort of looked like he didn't want to be mad at me or in general.

"It's not what you think," I whispered back the same way. He clenched his teeth, and when I tried to touch him, he let me.

"I'm gonna leave," Damien said, backing away, not allowing me to touch him anymore. His jaw remained clenched, and I felt heat surging through my body. It hurt that he would just jump to conclusions like that. It hurt how he wouldn't hear me out first.

"So that's how it'll be?" I asked him. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me, his breathing escalating. "If we were together and you thought I did something to betray your trust, you would just assume? You wouldn't even let me justify myself?"

"I'm letting you, now, but you're not doing it! You're turning it on me! You know who does that, Mae? Guilty people, that's who." Damien growled. He was filled with so much anger, I wasn't sure I wanted to be with a person like that. Was that how our future was going to be? Was he going to be a future Mitch, or was I just assuming too far ahead?

"You know what, I don't have to justify myself," I said, my voice dripping with stubbornness as I shook my head, crossed my arms. His teeth remained clenched as he made a move toward the door. When he walked toward me, an image of Mitch clouded my vision, and I flinched. He stopped, furrowed his eyebrows, and cocked his head back.

"I would never hit you, Mae," Damien said, still with anger in his voice. "I'm not your father, Mae. Don't treat me like it."

"Then stop acting like him," I told him, and the pain and anger in his grey eyes were a clear indication that I said something I shouldn't have.

"Wo-o-ow." He laughed, but it was far from humorous. "So the joke's on me, huh? I tried to surprise you, bring you flowers, fucking donuts." He laughed again, still angry. "And I catch you two in bed together. I'm the real fucking joke, am I?!" He nodded.

"Just leave. That's what you do, right? You get people to trust you, and then you walk out of their life as if that won't have a consequence, as if that won't do damage?" I snapped, angry myself that he was being this way. So the true Damien came out.

I knew he wanted to say something, something hurtful, but he didn't. "I hope it was worth it." He shook his head as he walked out. It wasn't fair of him to come here, ruin my morning, and accuse me of cheating on him. I started walking after him, but Bennett stood in my way.

"Just let him," Bennett said, blocking the doorway.

"Bennett, please get out of my way," I told him, but he stayed and shook his head.

"Don't be an asshole. It wasn't like that, bro," Ryder told him. I heard the front door open and close, but I wasn't going to let Damien leave; it wasn't fair. I did the only thing I thought of and kicked Bennett in the balls. 

He fell to the floor, groaning in agony, and I ran out of the door. Damien started his car, but I sprinted to the back of his car and stood there, so he couldn't reverse.

I decided since he ruined my morning, I was going to be extra petty and give him a hard time leaving. He revved, and his car moved a bit. "Get out!" I shouted.

"That's what I'm trying to do!" He shouted back.

"Out of the car, I mean," I told him. I was glad I had no neighbors because they would have thought Damien and I were crazy—which we were. His car turned off, and he got out.

"What, you want to fight some more? Tell me hurtful things and bring up something I couldn't control? Don't be the person who brings up the past. You know I didn't want to leave you freshman year," Damien said, and my desire to be petty faded.

"I know," I whispered. "And I'm sorry, but you need to stop and give me a minute to explain myself."

He nodded, understanding begrudgingly. "Okay." He crossed his arms, looking at me.

"Was that so hard?" I teased, but he didn't smile. "He was going through something, and I was there for him. It's why he's here, but nothing, and I mean nothing happened between us. I already explained my clothing. If you want to know why he's naked, ask him."

"I can't sleep with clothes," Ryder said, taking a bite of his donut as he stood in the doorway, carrying the pink box. "You know that, dumbass. However, I had the decency to keep my briefs on. You're welcome." He smiled.

"Such a gentleman," I said with a monotonous voice.

"Why were you here in the first place?" Damien asked.

"Sean's back," Ryder answered, and Damien's shoulder's slumped. He groaned and brought his hands up to his face, hiding.

"I'm such an idiot." Damien groaned. That's all it took? All of that overdramatic, theatrical drama for nothing?! Anger was boiling inside my chest once again, and I glared at Damien.

"Mae, I—Mae!" He shouted when I started walking away. I was over it! Or, maybe I wasn't, and maybe I just wanted him to work for it and chase me.

"It's too early for all of this drama!" Ryder shouted.

"Hear, hear," Bennett groaned, waddling his way toward the couch with a pack of frozen peas over his injury.

"Mae, I'm sorry," Damien said, following me back into my room. "I should have listened to you."

"Should have but didn't," I said, picking up the sheets I was tangled in from the ground and putting them back on the bed. I went into the restroom, brushed my teeth, and came back out. I saw the flowers on the ground. "You're so dramatic." I laughed.

"I'm sorry." He smiled, picking up the flowers. "I brought you flowers." He held them out to me.

"Get out." I laughed, pushing his hand away. He smiled and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. "No."

"Please," he begged. I heard the TV go on in the living room, and Bennett and Ryder started talking and laughing. "I'm so, so, so, so sorry."

"Should have thought about that before," I told him, trying, and failing to pull away. Maybe I could have tried harder, but I wasn't as mad.

"Maaaeeee," he dragged out my name, and I smiled as I shook my head at his whining. He walked toward the bed and fell on me.

"I'm mad at you," I told him, anger long gone from my body.

"But I missed you," he said, and I laughed, frustrated how we were just fighting, and now, we were lying on my bed, his arms around me as he laid on top of me.

"You can't do that," I told him, all seriousness in my voice. He let me go and sat up. "You can't accuse me of cheating when I didn't."

"I know, Mae. Trust me, I know. I don't want to be that guy. It makes me feel insecure, and that's not how I want to be. I don't want to be the guy who accuses his girlfriend of cheating. I never had a girlfriend before, but I know I don't want to be that guy."

"You still don't," I said, and he furrowed his eyebrows until he understood what I was saying.

"So, you're not my girlfriend?" He asked, trying to conceal his smile.

"You never asked," I teased, and he smiled. I was glad that he knew he didn't want to be that type of boyfriend. The future would tell if he meant it.

"So you want me to ask you."

"Oh, yeah, but it has to be special, now, since you acted this way." I looked to my right, trying to appear petty.

"Special?"

"Oh, yeah. You have to jump off a skyscraper or something and then ask me."

"A skyscraper?" He laughed, and I smiled. He hugged me, tackling me down on the bed, making me smile. "Ugh! I missed you!"

I wrapped my arms around him, happy that he was here again. It felt nice to have him in my arms. His warmth, his masculinity, the softness of his hair, the smell of his cologne, everything about him made me happy and content. I couldn't imagine a happier or more desirable place.

"I didn't miss you."

He laughed, burrowing his head further into my neck as he laid on top of me. "Can I try something?"

I nodded.

He placed a soft kiss on my neck, and my heart started racing. "I can hear your heart. It's beating faster now."

"It's probably fighting for me to stay alive since you're smashing the life out of me," I teased.

"No, I think it was when I kissed your neck," he said, teasing me with the truth.

"No." I laughed.

"Yes." He nodded, still with his head buried in my neck. "Want me to do it again?"

I nodded.

He placed another soft kiss on my neck, and my eyes widened at how good it felt. Tingles and goosebumps spread throughout my entire body just from a simple kiss on my neck. I was able to feel it everywhere, and it felt amazing. It was enticing, a feeling I wanted to feel all the time. I could feel a surge of adrenaline go straight to my heart.

"Yup. Heart's pounding."

I laughed.

"Again?" He asked, and I nodded once more.

The kiss lasted longer this time but still, it wasn't long enough. My heart gave away the truth, the adrenaline rushed its way into my heart, and out my entire body. He began sucking on my neck, making me release a breathy moan as I threw my head back.

"Does it feel good?" He asked.

"Yeah," I breathed, almost moaning as he started kissing my neck again.

"Hey," Ryder said, and Damien back away, sitting up. I sat up, unable to look at Ryder. "Oh, sorry." Ryder's voice was filled with awkwardness, and I just wanted to be alone.

Preferably with Damien.

"U-uhh, what's up?" Damien asked with awkwardness in his voice as well. He cleared his throat. I wasn't entirely sure why he was awkward. Wasn't it normal for guys to be that way with the girls they were talking to? Or, was Damien just not used to being caught that way? I smiled, liking the sound of the latter.

"We have some... news. I can tell you later." Ryder smiled, knowing what we were up to.

"Quick question," Damien said as he looked at both Ryder and me. "Did you spoon?" My body tensed at the question, which made Damien look at us. Against my will, I scooted back in case Damien got mad again. "Who was the big spoon?" His voice was calm—which was a good sign. My face turned red from embarrassment.

"To be fair, I didn't know," I blurted out. He looked at Ryder, then me, then Ryder, and then me again until he burst out laughing.

"A huge dude getting all cuddled by a small girl." Damien laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm not small," I argued.

"What's wrong with a guy getting cuddled?!" Ryder asked, offended. Damien continued to laugh as he put his hands up. Ryder's face was red, and I knew mine looked similar. "Can I take a shower?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "Don't use all the hot water. I wanna take a shower too."

"I make no promises," he shouted from the restroom.

"Ryder," I warned, but he just laughed.

Damien wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek, making me smile. I looked at him, his lips, then his eyes. He leaned closer, hovering over my lips.

"I'm bored!" Bennett shouted from the living room. Damien got scared and backed away.

"Geez." Damien shook his head. He nodded for us to leave the room, and we went into the living room.

"I'mma take a nap," Bennett said, and I laughed when Damien glared at Bennett. What's the saying? If looks could kill...

"Are you sleepy?" I whispered to Damien. He nodded, wrapping his arms around me and laying back. I laid with him, happy that he was back home.

"So what did you do in Italy?" I whispered, and Damien smiled.

Bennett laughed. "We went to hella bars. Girls love us."

"Oh, really?" I looked at Damien, and he laughed.

"No." He shook his head, but I gave him the look. "I mean, yeah, but nothing happened, for me at least."

"I, on the other hand, got laid by several, beautiful, Italian girls. Apparently, they like my Italian. They think it's adorable, or whatever." Bennett shrugged, his eyes closed. "My freakishly tall height and muscular body also helped."

"Beautiful Italian girls?" I asked, looking at Damien. I didn't like the small sense of jealously or insecurity I got. I never felt it before, and I didn't like that I was feeling it now.

"I mean, sure. They're attractive, but I wouldn't say beautiful," Damien said, and Bennett laughed. "I wouldn't." He looked at Bennett then at me. "Beautiful... is you. I would call you beautiful."

"But they're still beautiful," I stated.

"You're missing the point. I'm not blind, so yes. I notice when someone is attractive, but it doesn't mean I'm attracted to them. If I'm not attracted to them, I'm not going to find them beautiful. You get what I mean? You picking up what I'm putting down?" He joked, making me laugh.

"Yeah." I smiled. He brushed my hair back, and my smile grew. What he was doing felt cute. He ran his hands in my hair, and goosebumps rose on my arms, spreading throughout my body, up to my back, and to my scalp. I closed my eyes, placing my chin on his chest as he kept playing with my hair.

"You're so pretty," Damien whispered, making me feel shy, so I hide my face in his chest. He laughed, trying to move my head so that he could see me.

"Why wasn't I invited to cuddle?" Ryder asked, his hair wet from his shower. Bennett opened his arms, and Ryder smiled, walking over to Bennett. They cuddled, and it made me smiled. Damien laughed but his attention remained on me. "Love the nontoxic masculinity."

"I'm too tired, I can't sleep," Bennett mumbled with his arms wrapped around Ryder and Ryder's head on Bennett's chest.

"Did you see Greta?" Ryder asked, a sort of smugness and condescending tone in his voice. Bennett hit Ryder's arm, but I looked away before Bennett looked my way.

"Yeah," Damien answered, continuing to play with my hair. I kept my head on his chest as they talked about this Greta girl.

"Who's Greta?" I asked, curiosity consuming me.

"This smoking hot Italian girl that basically worships the ground Damien walks on," Ryder answered, chuckling.

"Shut up," Bennett whispered to him so low if I wasn't not breathing I might have missed it. 

"Oh?" I wanted Ryder to continue, and he did, not listening to Bennett's advice.

"They had a thing—"

Damien started talking to him in Italian in a serious tone, but whatever Damien was saying was to him, only made Ryder laugh.

"Say it in English," I told him.

"I was just telling him that it wasn't fair of him to bring up my past in front of you," Damien answered, sounding like he was being completely transparent. "Nothing  ever happened between Greta and me."

"He said you two had a thing," I told him, needing to know more. The curiosity slowly turned into a burning feeling, rippling through me, demanding that I know more about him and Greta. 

"If you really wanna know...sure, we had something. But it's wasn't a big thing. We made out a few times. Sure, it got hot and heavy, but nothing else. I couldn't exactly just pine over you and not do anything with girls in another continent." He laughed.

"I know." I forced a chuckle. Not do anything. "What did you do?"

"Nothing." Ryder laughed. "Kid's still a virgin."

Bennett and Ryder laughed, and Damien grabbed one of the pillows on the couch and tossed it to them, hitting Ryder on the head.

"It's not that big of a deal. You've either have had sex or haven't. It's not a big deal." Damien shrugged, and I was happy that he saw it that way.

"So, Mae, have you had things?" Ryder asked, privacy completely oblivious to him.

I wanted to lie and say that I had, but I decided transparency was the best route to go.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," Bennett assured. "Ryder knows no boundaries."

I laughed, shrugging as I picked up my head, looking at Damien for his reaction. "I don't mind. And I haven't." I shook my head. "No things."

Damien smiled, appearing happy with my revelation, still running his hands through my hair.

"Play with my hair too, Bent," Ryder told him, which made me laugh.

"Your hair's wet. It's wetting me—I just didn't want to say anything," Bennett told him, and Ryder laughed. I was still curious as to what—specifically—Damien did with Greta. There were other things than penetrative sex. I decided if he wanted to tell me, he would, and he most likely won't tell me those things in front of his friends.

My stomach rumbled as if it was starving, but I wasn't even that hungry. Damien chuckled, which made me feel embarrassed. My stomach growled again ferociously.

It's not even that serious. Relax, I thought toward my stomach. 

"Let's get you something to eat," Damien told me, sitting up. I had started getting sleepy with the way he was playing with my hair. I was a bit disoriented, considering I had almost fallen asleep. He helped me stand up, holding my hand as he did, and led us to the kitchen.

Ryder and Bennett followed. "What's for breakfast, pops?" Bennett asked, making me laugh.

"Whatever you make me." Damien smiled.

"And here I thought you came back home to cook for me," Ryder said. They found our huge bag of pancake mix and some eggs in the fridge. 

"Should I be concerned with the lack of food in your house?" Damien asked. "The Serpents do food donations. We can bring you food, stock your household."

I smiled, feeling incredibly embarrassed that the boy I liked, my crush, thought I couldn't afford food. It was sweet of him to offer, but I still felt embarrassed. "No, we just haven't gone food shopping." I laughed, my face feeling hot. 

"I still bring you some food." Damien smiled.

"The authorities haven't contacted you?" Ryder asked, swaying from the subject.

"About what?" I asked, leaning against the counter.

"You and Zach are minors, living alone," Ryder answered.

"They sent a letter a few days ago saying that we needed to present a guardian within the next two weeks or they were going to call our mom." I shrugged, not wanting to open the mom can of worms. "But let's cook." I smiled, trying to distract.

They took the cue and started helping each other make breakfast. It made me smile at how they got along, saying inside jokes, and laughing. They seemed to know each other well, even in silence. When one moved, the other did, and the third moved if he was in the way. 

"Can I ask you guys a question?" I asked, curiosity consuming me once again.

"You just did," Ryder joked.

"Haha, so original."

"Thanks," Ryder chirped, oblivious to the fact that I was being sarcastic.

"Shoot," Bennett said, getting the carton of eggs out of the fridge. I hoped the eggs were still good. Only one way to find out.

"How did you three meet?" I asked, and Ryder chuckled.

"It was a long time ago," Bennett started, frying the eggs. "We were, like, nine-years-old. Back then, I wasn't all muscle." Bennett stopped talking to flex his muscles, and admittedly, they were huge—which was no surprise considering how massive he was. "I was actually a scrawny kid. One day, at the playground, I was getting beaten up, and Damien saved me. He pushed those kids off and punched them. Even as a kid, he packed a mean punch. After that, he told me to eat a little more and lift a couple of pounds daily. But, once we hit middle school, that's when the real bullying started, so I started lifting way more every day." He looked at Damien, appreciation filling his eyes. I could tell he admired Damien, looked up to him in a way. A guardian—role model, perhaps. "And now, no one in their right mind messes with me."

I looked at Damien and smiled. "Wow."

"I know, I'm a hero. What can I say." He pretended to flip his hair back and laughed after he did.

"You're duuumb." I smiled, shaking my head. "But what about you?" I asked Ryder.

"It was actually Bennett who helped me." He smirked at Bennett and turned back to me. "We were eleven, and I guess, you could say I was a chubby kid, who had weird eyes. The freak, if you will. I was having a hard time in my gym class. I would always try to keep up, but I couldn't, so the kids would laugh at me, and the teachers would, too. They'd try to encourage me, but their kind of encouragement wasn't what I needed." I put my arm around him, and he offered me a piteous smile. "So, one day, I was getting beaten up, and this one older kid was the meanest and oldest. He had this pocket knife, and he stabbed me, cutting me good." 

I gaped at him, horrified. He lifted his shirt, allowing me to see the scar. It was a lighter shade than his skin, sitting on his waist, thick—sort of like a stretch mark after it's faded. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it earlier when he was shirtless. I stroked his skin, feeling the bumpy texture that was now his scar.

"Chicks dig scars, right?" Ryder asked with a playful tone. I pushed his arm, rolling my eyes, knowing he didn't really care that chicks would dig his scar. "But, anyways, Bennett pushed them off, and he beat the older kid, threatened him that if he ever even looked at me, or came near me, he would have Bennett to deal with. Back then, Bent was a little more ugly, so I get why the kid was scared." Ryder—always with the jokes.

"So you're saying I'm good-looking now?" Bennett asked, smirking.

"Sorry to break it to you, son, but you're still ugly." 

I smiled, but still felt surprised—not because of the stories they told me, but because they were actually good-looking. I was surprised they didn't have girlfriends. Bennett turned to me and asked, "So, how'd you two meet?" He gestured toward Damien and me with the spatula in his hand. There was a look in Bennett's eyes that I couldn't quite read. I looked at Damien, but he was waiting for me to answer.

"We met freshman year." I smiled at Damien, but he frowned. I had no idea why.

"You really don't remember?" Damien asked, only confusing me further. What was there to remember?

"Remember what?" I furrowed my eyebrows, cocking my head to the side.

"Aww! Aren't you just adorable?" Ryder gushed, squishing my cheeks. I pushed his hands away, hating when he talked to me like a baby but secretly liked it.

"Can I ask you a question now?" Damien asked. I was hesitant at first, unsure of the question he would ask, but I nodded anyway. Hopefully, the question he asked led to what I couldn't remember. "Did you have any friends before you stopped talking?"

"Yeah. James, Crystal, and another kid named Ian before Ian moved away." I was still confused as to why he was asking.

"Ian? That was his name?" Damien asked, a slight smile on his lips. I nodded again. "It wasn't for a nickname?" He had a look in his eyes like Bennett had, but I still couldn't read it. I thought about it, but I couldn't remember if it was a nickname or not.

"I'm pretty sure that was his name," I said, but he frowned again.

"The kid that you used to be friends with, his name wasn't Ian," Damien said.

"How do you know? Did you know him?" I asked, standing straighter. I didn't recall Damien living here before freshman year.

"Yeah. But I knew him as Damien." He smiled, his dimples deepening as did his lopsided, boyish grin. I was still confused until I thought about it and realization hit like a grenade.

~Flashback~

"Hi. I'm Mae!" I introduced myself to a boy at the swings. He had a cookie, and I wanted some. He was also on the only available swing. Well, soon to be available swing. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." He held out his hand, so I shook it.

"Can I have your cookie?" I asked, unable to make small talk. I had a goal, and I was determined to achieve that goal.

"How about half?" He asked. I nodded, and he handed me the bigger half of the cookie.

"And your swing too?" He got up, so I sat down. "Push me?" He started pushing me, and I went higher and higher. I started giggling at how high I went, but it ended once I started slowing down. I hopped off and stood by the boy.

"Are you new here?" I asked, and he nodded. "Do you wanna be friends?"

"Yeah, I don't have any," he said.

"Okay, come on. I have other friends. What's your name?"

"Damien." I thought about it, and everyone must call him that. I wanted to give him a special name.

"I'm gonna call you Ian since everyone calls you Damien."

~End of Flashback~

"You're Ian?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah." He smiled. And I've never felt happier. I rushed to him, engulfing him in a hug. This kid was my childhood crush! I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, and he did the same, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist.

"You idiot, why didn't you tell me?" I asked, still hugging him, unwilling to let him go.

"I don't know. I thought you really forgot."

"I can't believe it," I said. He's Ian. It's crazy that I knew him before freshman year. "Is that why you started talking to me freshman year?"

He nodded. "You didn't remember me, and I thought you would think I was weird that I remembered you from when we were kids." 

"Full disclosure?"

"You knew?" Damien asked, skeptical.

"No. I really didn't. But freshman year, the last week of school, I went to school with the determination of talking to you." He raised his eyebrows, shocked.

"Why didn't you?" Damien asked, furrowing his eyebrows, confused.

"Well, I went to school that day, and you weren't there. I waited the next day, but you still didn't show up. It was around the time you moved away," I answered, smiling, but he frowned.

"When I moved away," he whispered, more to himself. "I should've never moved away."

"You had too," I reassured. 

"She's right. You needed to clear your head from what you saw."

Speaking of seeing. "Ryder, what did you mean by you had weird eyes?" I asked. He walked out of the kitchen, and I felt bad for asking, but he walked back in, going to the sink. He pulled something out of his pocket and set it on the counter.

"Come here," he said, so I walked to him. He pulled something out of his eye and set it into a contact case. I didn't even know he wore contacts. He turned to me, but he kept his eyes closed. "I have complete heterochromia."

"That's cool, not weird," I said. He opened his eyes, revealing both the color of his eyes, and he was shocked by what I said. Both of his eyes weren't originally green: one was green while the other was blue. Looking deep into his blue eye, I noticed that it was beautiful. I couldn't fathom why someone would think his eyes were weird or bully him for that matter.

"Well, people think they're weird," Ryder said, shrugging his left shoulder a bit. He turned back and opened the case, but I stopped him, putting my hand over his.

"Do you guys think it's weird?" I asked.

"No," Damien said.

"A little," Bennett smirked, only teasing Ryder, making him smile. "No." Bennett smiled. "In all honesty, I think it's pretty cool."

"What was that?" Ryder asked, teasing him back. Ryder looked at me once Bennett flipped him off, smiling. He washed his hands, but I stopped his hand from reaching for the contact.

"I think those kids were idiots. You're not weird. Just different. Those kids were ordinary having one colored set of eyes. But you... you're pretty extraordinary. You have two different eye colors. And they're both beautiful."

"Handsome," Ryder corrected, but I saw the light pink in his cheeks.

"You're beautiful. Guys can be beautiful too," I told him, and his cheeks went a shade darker. Aww, he was blushing! "Aww! Aren't you just adorable?" I pinched his cheeks. We laughed, and he pushed my hands away. A thought crossed my mind about our childhood. I remembered when Damien told James about the pact they made when they were eight.

"What pact did you make with James?" I asked, and everyone tensed. "Guys?" I asked suspiciously.

***********************************************

A/N: I wanted to show more of the boys' childhood meetings, and Mae's and Damien's as well. I hoped you liked this chapter. If Damien saved Bennett and Bennett saved Ryder, did anyone save Damien? If they so, who?

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