I come off as strong but I fall asleep crying. I act like nothing's wrong but I'm just really good at lying.

Mae

"Mae, wake up," I felt someone shaking my shoulder, so I opened my eyes and saw Zach shaking his head at me. After talking with Ryder and getting angrier at Damien, I had decided not to go back to school and came home. I had laid down but ended up falling asleep. I smiled sheepishly at him "You're sick."

"It's been a day," I sighed. I looked at the time, and it was already five in the afternoon. "How'd you get home?"

"Brody. He gave James and me a ride. James is in the kitchen," Zach told me. I nodded and made sure to keep my voice low.

"Does he know about Saturday?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"He knows about the race and how it ended up badly, but he doesn't know the full details. I told him you wanted to tell him the whole story," Zach told me, but I hadn't thought of telling him everything. I knew I needed to and that it would have been better if I did.

"Thanks for the save," I whispered. I was glad Zach told him that because I knew how hurt James was when he found out I was the King but didn't tell him. I wasn't going to keep secrets from him anymore. I trusted James, that was never the issue with me not telling him about the fighting. It had never really crossed my mind to tell him. It never seemed like it would have been a big deal but now that I knew it was, I would tell him. "Call him in."

"James!" Zach shouted, standing in the same spot.

"Yeah!" James shouted from the kitchen.

"Come here! Mae wants to talk to you," Zach called out. I heard James' footsteps approaching until he was at my door.

"Am I in trouble?" He laughed and walked in, laying at the feet of my bed, horizontally.

"No. I didn't want to keep any secrets from you, so I'm gonna fill you in on what happened Saturday," I told him.

"Finally," he said and sat up like a kid waiting for a story to be told. I filled him in on everything that had happened, saying 'he said' and 'I said' about a billion times, and he never interrupted. His expression kept changing from anger, confusion, to sadness and to humor when I told him I had punched Damien; he had wanted me to keep retelling that part.

I had filled in Zach about the encounter with Damien at the gym I practiced at as well. "But I don't understand what he meant by he knew he needed to push me away, what do you think that was about? What does it mean?" I asked when I was finished telling the whole story.

"Are you sure he didn't know it was you?" Zach asked, and I shrugged. The thought of him knowing scared me, made me anxious.

"I feel like he would have said something or acted differently if he knew it was me. Wouldn't he have confronted me about it?" I asked. I thought back to what Ryder said and forgot I hadn't told them that part. After telling them, they seemed even more confused than I was. "I told Ryder that Damien knew how much my trust meant to him, but Ryder said 'Exactly', as if that was some sort of clue, but for what?"

I looked at the guys, and Zach was a lost cause. He seemed more confused than I was. I looked at James to see what he had thought, but he didn't seem confused at all. His eyebrows were furrowed and his thinking face was on. "I don't know," Zach sighed and held onto his head. Well, that was super helpful! "What do you think, man?"

"I dunno. Just tryin' to make sense of it all," James said, but he sounded detached. I couldn't decipher if it was because he was trying to figure something out, or if he already had figured it out.

"Share your thoughts. I'm dying for clarity," I told James, and he shrugged.

"I dunno," he said but there was a look in his eyes. I kept looking at him, and he stared at me with a knowing look. "It could mean somethin', but it could also mean nothin'. Girls do that. They look for more meaning behind what a guy says but what we say, is just what we mean. Sometimes there's no meaning behind it. Y'all just like to overthink everythin'. Swear."

"For real," Zach agreed. They both laughed, and I fell back on my pillow exasperated. Was I really just overthinking it? "Like when we tell you guys to choose where to eat because we don't care, y'all think we say that because we think y'all picky but it's 'cause we really don't care."

"Or when they ask us, 'do we look better with or without makeup?' And we say you beautiful both ways. Y'all flip out and are like 'so what you're what saying is I don't look good with makeup, or I look ugly without it?' And I'm like 'Nah, you just cute. What the hell's ya problem?' And they're like-

"'Ooh so you think I'm crazy?'," Zach and James said at the same time and fell on each other, laughing. I smiled at their stupidity and shook my head at how they were acting.

"I don't know, Mae. But there's a party tonight, and I wanna go," James said, changing the subject. "You've never been to a party so you're going, too."

I started to disagree, but he wouldn't have it. I was more of a say-at-home-and-chill type of girl. I mean I was curious about what a party was like, but I was also scared because I had heard they got crazy. "Kind of scared," I admitted, and they laughed.

"So you fight criminals, but high schoolers are the real bad guys?" James joked, and I laughed.

"That's different. No one knows it me, and what are you trying to say? I'm a criminal?" I joked, and he laughed.

"See there you go by trying to find a meaning that I didn't mean," James said and laughed. I got my pillow to throw at him, but he was already out the door before I could. Zach followed him out, and I heard them talking in Zach's room. "Where something sexy!"

"Sexy my ass," I heard Zach say, and I laughed. I got up and walked into Zach's room.

"Are we really going?" I asked.

"Yeah, so wear something that's gonna accentuate ya curves," James said and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Zach grabbed his pillow and chucked it at James' head. James didn't have time to move because he was talking to me, so it had hit him on the side of his face.

"Ooow, I think I have a concussion," James groaned, clutching onto his head. "Swear."

"Great! So no party," Zach exclaimed and laid back in bed, crossing his feet and putting his hands behind his head.

"No, we're going," James said and went to Zach's Xbox. "It starts at nine so start gettin' dressed. I know y'all female be takin' forever. My sister be takin' like three hours. Swear."

"Swear?!" Zach mimicked the word James kept using in an excited tone. He was smiling at James, and James grabbed the pillow that had been thrown at him and chucked it at Zach.

I laughed and went to my room, going straight to my closet. Did I even own a party outfit? All my clothes were mainly pants, hoodies, and long sleeves. I mean I can probably make an outfit out of some rips jeans? I started walking towards Zach's room to ask the guys but then walked back to my room. They probably wouldn't know. They weren't much of the partying type either. We always made plans on nights while everyone was out partying.

I closed my closet door, so I could get a look at the clothes in the back of the door. They were clothes I wanted and thought were cute but would never wear. I found the black and white simple dresses that I had bought at the beginning of the school year and pulled them out. Did people actually wear dresses for the parties? I mean I saw pictures and knew some girls at school wore dresses to party's, but they were short-short dresses.

I knew they fitted, so I didn't need to try them on. I kept looking for a spare outfit just in case I didn't want to go in a dress and settled upon black skinny jeans that had excessive rips on the legs and a black crop top t-shirt. It showed skin but not too much to make me feel uncomfortable.

I looked at the clock, and I had been looking for an outfit for forty-five minutes. It wasn't going to take long to do my makeup, so I decided to lay down and go on my phone.

After going on my phone and watching a movie, it was eight-thirty. My eyes widened as I jumped up and went to my restroom to do my makeup. I started doing my makeup, going for a simple look, nothing glamorous. I didn't have the talent to do glamour looks but as much as they were pretty, I never really cared to do a full face of makeup.

"Are you ready, it's nine twenty?" James asked and walked into my restroom. The door was opened, so he knew it was safe. "You're still not ready?!" He gaped at me and shook his head.

"No one even goes on time," I told him. I was starting to get nervous. He walked out, and I finished doing my hair as my makeup was done. I did loose curls with the straightener and went to my closet and put on my dress. I strapped on my low heels and walked out.

"I look good," Zach said when I walked into his room. He was looking at his mirror, checking himself out, and I laughed at his cockiness.

"I feel like an idiot," I signed, and my signing caught both of their attention. I looked at James for his reaction, and his eyebrows raised as he slowly started to smile.

"Nah, you uhh... you look good," James said, his smile slowly getting bigger. I smiled because it had felt good getting a compliment. I hadn't received many, so it boosted my confidence. He turned around and grabbed his phone off the floor, unplugging it from the charger. I looked at Zach and he went to his dresser and put on a couple of sprits of cologne.

"Awe, let me get at some," James said, so Zach tossed it to him. I looked at Zach's long mirror and begun examining my body figure. The first thing I noticed was my thighs. No matter how much I ran, my thighs wouldn't get thinner. I had semi-thick thighs. Now that thick thighs were getting more noticed and more favored, it had made me glad I had them. I looked at my stomach and since I had trained every day and most of my strength came from my core, my stomach was flat. The one thing I didn't like about my body were my shoulders. Since I fought, my shoulders were broad. "I feel like my shoulders are too wide."

James was the only one who caught it, so he spoke on it. "Nah, my sister said it was a good thing. Especially since you're thick," James said and then chuckled. "I mean, like, since your thighs are... thicker. She said if you have thick thighs and broad shoulders, it makes ya waist look slimmer."

I looked in the mirror and it made sense. My waist did look smaller. My boobs made me look smaller too or should I say lack of boobs? I actually had a crop top that said 'no titty committee'. I didn't care to have boobs, never have. Being able to wear a shirt and not being worried about my boobs was great and when I grow old, I wouldn't have to worry about them sagging. I laughed at the thought and stopped looking in the mirror before my face started to look ugly. It would happen when I would look at pictures of myself.

"Who's party is it?" Zach asked, and James smiled. There was a look in his eyes as he looked at me. "No."

"What?" I asked, confused at Zach's reaction.

"It's Damien's," James answered, and I threw my head back in despair.

"No," I said, finally understanding Zach's reactions. I didn't want to go to a party that was thrown by Damien.

"Well, technically Ryder's throwing it, but it's at Damien's house, and we gotta go," he said.

"No," Zach said and I signed at the same time.

"Ooh come on! Don't be like this," James pleaded, cocking his head to the side.

"Did you not understand what Mae told you earlier?" Zach asked. I looked at James, and he smiled, pleading with his whole face. I knew he wanted to go, and I felt bad that he had never gone to parties. It was probably my fault. He probably had felt bad for me because I never went to any of the party's, so he would hang out with me instead. I started contemplating whether or not to go. "We are not going."

"Think about it, Mae. We show up. Damien sees you like that, and he's gonna WISH he wouldn't have said anything mean to you. He's gonna WISH he could take back the part where he said he didn't like you. This is gonna make him regret it. It's a sweet plan," James said, and it did sound nice; to make Damien see what he was missing.

"That's stupid. Damien was doing the right thing. I mean, I understand he hurt Mae," Zach countered. "But he backed off the moment he knew she had a boyfriend. He was trying to do the right thing. Sounds like a nice guy."

"Nice guy?! You're joking! He told your sister she was worthless!" James shouted, all playfulness gone.

"That's not what I meant! I meant not many guys would do that if they liked someone," Zach said but that's where he was wrong. Damien didn't like me. He had even said so.

"He's not a good guy. He deserves to see what he's missing," James said. He looked at me and smiled but it wasn't nice, it was evil. He had a plan, and I was curious about what it was.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, and his smile grew.

"So Damien thinks the king is your boyfriend, right?" James asked.

"Yeah," I answered. Where was he going with this?

"Well, I was thinking, and it would seem weird for you to never have been seen with him, and people might question whether or not he exists. What if when you showed up at the party, you went with him?" He asked, and it sounded like a good plan, except one thing was missing.

"Are you forgetting the part where I lied, and I'm basically dating myself?" I asked, and he laughed.

"No, I meant what if I pretended to be the King? That would really set Damien off," James said. He wanted to get back at Damien much more than I had wanted to, but I wasn't sure if it was because he was mad at him for hurting me, or if there was an ulterior motive. "I mean, like, he wouldn't think you were the King."

I thought about it, and it had made sense. It would have been a good thing if James had played the role of the King. If people saw that the King was next to me, then they wouldn't assume I was the King.

"But what about the whole mute thing?" Zach asked. "The King never speaks." I looked at James to see if he had an answer, but he was thinking.

"I dunno, but I can't think of everything," he said. I couldn't think of anything that would sense for James speaking but not the King. It didn't match, it didn't make sense. "We'll think about that later. We have to go to the party."

We walked out and went to my car. "I have a feeling something's gonna happen," Zach said, and I started to feel anxious. We got in my car, and Zach got in the back while James sat in the front. I back out of the driveway and drove down the long dirt road before making it to the main street.

James let out a huge gasp, and I thought I was going to hit something. I quickly took my foot off the gas and looked around. "Ugh!" he groaned in excitement. "I have the best idea!" Was he serious?! I raised my knee so it held the steering wheel and kept pressing on the gas, so the car was still driving.

"You idiot! I thought I was going to crash into something," I signed to him and grabbed the steering wheel again.

"Duuude, I have the best idea, but you HAVE to say yes. Please, Mae!" He said, and I glanced at him, curious as to what his plan was. "Please, say yes."

"What's your plan?" I asked. I made a left turn on El Monte and kept going straight.

"You have to say yes though," he said again.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

"Okay, but say yes before I tell you what it is," he told me and I groaned. I wanted to know already.

"Yes. Whatever you're gonna say, yes," I told him, wanting to know what he had to say.

"Let me drive the King's car," he rushed out.

"No."

"Mae!" He said in despair. "You promised." He must have been crazy if he thought I would actually agree to that.

"I didn't think it would be that!" I countered, and he groaned. James had a wild hair when it came to certain things, and I knew if I let him drive my car, he would take advantage and drive like a mad man.

"Please, Mae. Please. I'll do whatever you want! Pleeeeeease!" He begged. I had never in my life seen him beg this hard. It was quite scary yet, amusing at the same time.

"I'm recording this," Zach said, pulling out his phone, and I laughed. James didn't care and kept begging.

"Please. It'll make everything look real," he tried.

"You're not driving my car," I told him, shaking my head. I valued and worked hard for my car for it to just be crashed by his stupidity.

"You can have Alec drive it," he reasoned. I looked at him, and he had a sad face, and I kept feeling bad. I had actually started to contemplate whether or not to let him drive.

"If he gets to drive it, then I get to too," Zach said and that settled it. I shook my head, signing no once again.

"Zach! She was gonna let me!" James shouted at him, and Zach starting laughing at how James was acting. James almost went into the back seat to attack Zach, and I had to push James by his abdomen, but he kept resisting, wanting to attack my brother. His abdomen felt hard, and I could feel the texture of his abs. He must have been working harder during football since they were training all day. I pushed him back, and he sat in his seat.

"Seatbelt!" I signed. He let out a huff of air and buckled his seatbelt. I thought he was going to let it go, but he turned the upper half of his body towards me and asked again.

"Mae," he spoke softly and it hurt at how cute it was. "Please." I was close to the storage, and I turned right, heading towards the storage.

"No way," Zach said, not believing what I was going to do.

"What?" James asked. He didn't know where I had the car. He only knew the model and the car's name. I had also told him about the software in it. He didn't believe it until I had shown him Lexi.

"That's so not fair!" Zach shouted. "I've always asked you!" Zach kept shouting and fighting with James. I hadn't told James what I was gonna do, but he had figured it out by Zach's shouting and the way I was driving away from Damien's house. I stopped before my storage and looked at Zach. "I wanna drive."

"He's not even going to drive it. Alec is!" I signed, and Zach grumbled something under his breath as a smug-looking James was sitting happily in the front seat.

"Your car is only a two-seater," Zach said.

"You'll stay here," James teased him, adding more fuel to a burning Zach.

"Screw you!" Zach spat, and James laughed. I pressed the volume button with my thumb, the dial channel button with my pinky and pressed the channel button number two with my index finger and the channel button number six with my right ring finger at the same time and the storage opened. That's how it was manually opened. I pulled in and parked. I knew Zach was mad that I was letting James drive. He had asked countless times for me to let him drive, but I had always said no. I turned to him in my seat, and he scowling at me.

"I'll let you drive next time," I told him and held out my pinky.

"Without Alec," he said and I signed, getting myself deeper in trouble.

"Without Alec," I promised, and he linked our pinky's, sealing the promise by pressing out thumbs together. James made a smacking noise, and he looked mad. I glared at him and his expression changed to a happy one, and he got off the car.

"I'm good with my deal," he said. Him and Zach were both happy, and I was starting to get tired because they were draining my energy. I thought of the party and the nervousness stirred in me, waking me up. "Where is it?"

I walked to the door and walked in. He tried walking in too, but we wouldn't have all fitted in the safety zone. "See the square lining? That's a safety zone." I told James and lifted the second storage.

"Damn, who are you, Batman?" He asked, and I laughed. Alec came in to view, and James let out a whistle. "Daaaamn."

"Wait here," I told him and got into Alec. Zach stayed outside talking to James. I started the car and activated Alec. "Put Damien's house as the destination."

"Task completed. Would you like to start toward your destination?" He asked.

"No, not yet. Tonight, you're gonna get a new driver," I told him.

"Are you finally letting Zach drive me?" He asked, and I laughed.

"No, tonight James is going to drive you."

"I do not believe you have mentioned this James character," he stated and I nodded. I hadn't told Alec about James; I had no reason to.

"You're right. Recognize his voice. Record it and set it under James," I instructed. "Also... don't actually let him drive. I don't want anything to happen to you. The new voice will tell you when to start."

"Okay, everything is set," he said, and I got out of the car. James was looking excited and it scared me a bit. I couldn't believe I was actually going to let him do this.

"Tell him when to start."

"How are we going to go?" Zach asked.

"You'll sit in the front seat, and I'll sit on James' lap," I told him and we got into the car. I pushed the front seat all the way back and reclined it a little. James sat in and I was unsure on how to squeeze in. The space in between James' legs was too small for my butt, so I settled for sitting in how I normally would have. I felt bad for sitting on his lap because I knew I was heavy.

"Are you comfortable?" James asked and I nodded. I was picking half of my weight with my legs, half squatting on him and half sitting on him. I did a ton of squats regularly but this was more like a wall sit, and I had hated to do those, so my legs were burning. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me down, forcing all my weight on him. I shook my head, not wanting to smash him. "You're fine. Swear."

"I'm gonna smash you," I signed over my shoulder.

"No, you're not. You're not even heavy," he assured.

"Let's go," Zach said.

"Tell him where to go," I told James as he put his seat belt on.

"Go to Damien house," James said and the garage door lifted and started backing out. "Aww, this is so sick! This is a total 'Fast and the Furious' moment, hot girl on my lap and driving a sexy ass car." It felt weird having him call me hot, but it once again boosted my confidence.

"Yeah, yeah, luckiest man in the world," Zach said bitterly.

"Don't ruin my moment, man," James said thrilled with the car. "Speed up." The car accelerated and James laughed. We reached Damien's house and the party was live.

"Damn, hella people are here," Zach said and my nervousness set in. There was a sign that said don't park in the driveway. The only cars that were in the driveway were Ryder's car and Damien's. I started looking around for another space to park but didn't see any.

"Pull in the driveway," James said. I turned to him to tell him not to, but he held my hips tighter. His face was strained, and he wouldn't let me move. "Hurry, Alec." The car pulled up and stopped. "Rev."

Alec listened to him and started revving. The car started shaking, a huge cloud of smoke formed in the back of us, and the smell of burnt rubber filled the car. "Stop!" Zach shouted, and Alec stopped revving. We looked at James, and I shook my head at him.

"I thought he would stop on his own," James said and I was glad we were already here because he was messing up my car.

"For every command that does not have a deadline, you have to give me one. You tell me to drive to a destination, the deadline is the destination. You tell me to rev but do not say when to stop, I will not stop," Alec informed James.

"Sorry," James said and a guilty look crossed his face. I patted his leg and turned off the car. I wasn't mad anymore. They were just tires. They could be replaced if they had actually got damaged. I was nervous, so I looked out at the house and saw the guys standing in front of the door.

Ryder had a smug smile as he looked at Damien and Bennett was smiling, looking amused. They had to of known who the car belonged to, but I couldn't figure out why they weren't mad. Damien, on the other hand, was indeed mad. James unblocked his seat belt and opened his door. Zach had done the same but didn't make a move to get out of the car.

I kept looking at the guys and their expression changed when they saw both doors open. "Who gets out first?" Zach asked.

"Same time," James said, and he looked nervous. This was his plan, why was he nervous?! I got out with Zach but James stayed in the car. He was such a coward! People started murmuring, so I listened in.

"That's the King's car."

"That's his car?"

"So who's the King? Zach or Mae?" As they chiefs daughter and the mute girl in the town, I wasn't surprised they knew my name.

"Obviously Mae. The King and her are both mute," a girl said and my heart had begun to race.

"But what if they're just both mute?" Her friend reasoned. I felt a hand interlock with mine and more whispered started.  I looked at James and his jaw was clenched. He had an angry look, and I wasn't sure why he was mad. He bent down to my ear, and his breath tickled my ear, making me smile.

"Do I look too angry?" He asked and his voice shook. I nodded and smiled.

"But it's good," I told him and he nodded. He took the keys from my other hand and put them in his pocket.

"He's the King?"

"He has to be."

I looked at James and there was a smug smile on his face. He looked so confident and superior, it amazed me. He squeezed his hand in mine and his hand felt sweaty. I smiled because despite him looking strong and confident, he was nervous. We walked up to the door and Zach stood tall next to James. Zach had the same mean look on his face that James held.

James removed his hand from mine and put his arm around my waist. He brought me close so I couldn't stand facing forward. I moved instantly, wrapping my left arm around James' waist and my right hand on his abs. I looked at Damien but he showed no ounce of emotion.

"No one invited you," Ryder said, looking at James.

"Really? I was told it was an open invitation," James' voice was low, steady, and strong. He hadn't shown an ounce of nervousness. I looked at him, only being less than three inches shorter than him, and he looked angry. I couldn't tell if he was pretending or if he was actually angry.

I glanced at Damien and he looked at me when he saw my movement. His eyes lingered on me for a second and then back to James. "You're right. Enjoy the party," Damien moved out of the way, and we walked in with Zach following us.

When we walked in, it was the same as it was outside. People were looking at us while some didn't pay attention. There were people dancing and playing beer pong. I heard whistling, so I look around and some eyes were on me. I start losing the confidence I had felt in the beginning, but I felt James' arm tighten around my waist.

I looked at him and his head went down to my ear. "They're just looking because you look hot. Remember that," he said and I nodded.

"I heard she was dating the King."

"Is he the King?"

"He has to be."

"Yeah, look at the way they're together."

"Damn, she's lucky."

"Damn, he's lucky." I looked at James, and he was having the time of his life.

"I guess if I'm the King that makes you my Queen," James told me and I laughed quietly as his joke. "Glad I can make you happy. You look really pretty when you smile." He said and kissed my forehead. I blushed at the comment and heard aww's coming from the crowd.

The music grew louder and everyone continued what they were doing. We walked to the kitchen to which I poured myself a shot of much-needed tequila while James got a beer.

"You're the king?" I turned around and found Damien glaring at James.

"In the flesh," James' face held a cocky smile, causing Damien to become angrier. He was showing his emotions a lot more than I had seen, and I had begun to wonder why. Was he having a hard time concealing his emotions or did he not care to?

"Why show your face now? Backing out of the fight?" Damien asked, cockily. James walked up to him, glaring and I knew now that James' anger towards Damien was real. He wasn't pretending anymore. I knew Damien was a fighter and James had gotten into a couple of fights in his neighborhood. He had won some and lost some, so I was worried for James if he had picked a fight now.

"Why would I back out of a fight when I've never lost one?" James asked confidently. "I mean, can't say the same for you." Damien's left eye twitched as his fists clenched.

"Winning doesn't mean as much to me as it does to you," Damien spat, and it was true. Winning had meant a lot to me, but it hadn't always.

Before, it had meant nothing but the more I had begun to gain a reputation for winning, the more I feared I would lose my streak. It's what made me start fighting as if my life depended on it. I fought more like that now that I was away from Razor. If I had lost for Razor, it wouldn't have meant anything to me but now that I was on my own, my loss reflected back on me.

"True. I guess now you'll just have to get used to losing," James said and turned his back on Damien and walked back to me. James pulled the corners of his mouth back and made an 'oops' face and I smiled. He was still scared and I found it humorous.

He was nothing like people had made the King to be. He didn't fit the position of someone who beat on people, and it had scared me that I probably did. The King was everything I didn't want to be yet, still was.

James put his arms around my waist and blew in my face, making me laugh at how disgusting he was.

"We had a pact," Damien said through clenched teeth. He was still talking to James, but I was confused about what he was speaking of.

"Seems like it'd be void now. I mean, considering you were trying to break it first," James still had his back to Damien, not bothering to look at the person he was speaking to.

"Trying. While you actually broke it," Damien said. I couldn't see him because James was still in front of me but he sounded angry.

"Are you angry that it got broken or that I was the one who broke it?" James asked, but Damien didn't answer. James nodded as he turned a little to look at Damien. "Sounds hypocritical, don't you think? To be mad at me for breaking the pact when you were oh-so-happy to do it before?"

"Doesn't change the fact that you broke it," Damien finally spoke.

"We were eight, Damien. Let it go," James said and turned back to me. I had no idea what they were talking about but I wanted to know.

"What pact?" I asked.

"I change my mind about the second condition. I want you to go through with it," Damien growled. Was he serious right now? He would be willing to watch me get hurt, again? Why did he even care who I dated? It wasn't him, that alone should have made him happy. James moved to look at Damien which allowed me to see Damien's angry expression. A smug smile crossed James' face, and I worried about what James had in store.

"Why the change of heart, lover boy?" James squared his shoulders, still holding his smile. Ryder was going to say something, but Bennett shook his head. Max was standing next to Damien, glaring at James, and I was scared if they would have jumped James.

"Just do it. Now," Damien demanded.

"No," James said.

Damien took a step forward, but Max grabbed him under his elbow, stopping Damien from coming closer.

"It was one of the conditions," Max told him. "Not following the conditions to a deal would be dangerous... for you. I suggest you do as told."

"I believe Damien gave me an out. Show the whole town who I was and keep Mae. Isn't that right, Damien," James asked and I smiled as I remembered what Damien had told me the night of the deal. Damien shook his head.

"That was in the moment. An in the moment outing, but you denied so no, that deal doesn't apply now."

"I mean, deals are usually made either by a verbal agreement or handwritten one but since you got neither, I would say your deal is pretty much void," James spoke, and I was proud of him.

He sounded smart yet smug as if he had the upper hand. I was also proud that he remembered every detail I recalled to him. Damien pulled his arm away from Max and stalked up to James, but I stood in the way, putting my hand on Damien's chest. He looked at me and for a split second pain crossed his features.

"You can do so much better, Mae," Damien spoke softly. It made me wonder whether he was talking about him. I almost laughed at my thought and became offended. James was a good person. Damien had no right to judge him. He hadn't known James as I had.

"James is a good person. Something you wouldn't know anything about considering you want him to break my heart," I signed and James spoke what I had said. "This is a party, right?"

"Let's have some fun!" James shouted and pulled me away. The music grew louder and everyone started dancing. James clasped our hands together and pulled me towards the DJ. Everyone was in a semi-circle facing around the DJ. I didn't know how to dance, and I was starting to get pushed by everyone's dancing. I didn't want to smash James, so I stood my ground, not moving despite the people pushing me. "It won't be so bad once you start dancing!"

It was too dark to sign, so I started moving my hips side to side. James moved in back of me and put his hand on my waist, bringing himself closer to me. Being the teenager that I was, I started having feelings in a special place. Having him pressed behind my butt felt nice, I hadn't felt it before. He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and put his head in my neck.

We kept dancing in the same position for three songs, and it was getting hotter with all the bodies next to each other. "Here!" Zach shouted and started getting pushed by the dancing bodies. James backed away but was still close to me since the dancing bodies were pushing everyone together. Zach handed us a beer bottle and the outside was wet from being cold, so I put the bottle to my cheeks. It was cold but felt good at the same time.

A blonde girl came in front of Zach and started swaying her hips, dancing. The people dancing in the front started backing up and pushed her on Zach. She kept dancing with her hands in the hair and her butt was grinding on his crotch area. He started moving his hips closer to her and wrapped his hands around her waist.

I looked at James and he laughed. I had no idea if Zach knew her, but I was guessing since it was a party, he didn't care and neither did she. James gave him a pat of encouragement, and Zach started chugging the rest of his beer as the girl in front of him kept grinding to the music.

James brought his bottle to his mouth and started chugging too. I didn't want to be the only one sober, so I started drinking some but stopped when the burning became too much. I groaned at the burn and James laughed. He started pulling me to the outside of the circle everyone was in and it became colder.

"It's so hot in there," I said and the inside of my thighs started getting hot. I drank the rest of my beer because it was cold but now, I had needed something to wash it down. "I need water."

A girl came up to James and started pulling him towards the circle. He looked back at me, but I waved, laughing and started pushing myself through the bodies toward the kitchen. I got lost in the sea of bodies but saw the hallway. I knew that wasn't the way toward the kitchen, so I turned back but a guy came in back of me and started grinding his crotch on my butt.

"Ooh sorry. Just passing through," he slurred. I pulled away and rushed between people to get away from him. I started heading towards the light and found myself in the kitchen. I saw a friend of Zach and James, Brody. He was in football with the guys, but we never spoke. There were some people smoking, and I leaned away from the puff of smoke that came out of their mouths. I was drinking so I didn't want to cross the two.

I had only gotten lightly crossfaded once and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. When I had gotten crossfaded I was fifteen, I had remembered everything spinning, but I was still in control. I was able to walk normal and everything but the dizziness was still there.

What I was experiencing now was different. I was starting to feel buzzed and I had hated that feeling. It made me feel emotionless and empty. The only way to get out of that feeling was to either get drunker or get sober.

There was school tomorrow, so I settled for getting sober. I grabbed a water bottle and headed out. I felt myself sweating so I went into the hallway to find the restroom. I had never been to the restroom in his house. The last time I was here, I used Damien's bathroom. I opened the first door to my left and regretted it. One of the triplets was making out on top of a girl. I went into the room across and opened the door. I walked in and the room became recognizable. I was in Damien's room.

I went into the restroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I ran the cold water in the sink and ran my arms underneath, feeling the coolness on my hot skin. I wanted to splash my face, but I didn't want to ruin my makeup. I heard the door close, so I turned off the water. "Get out of my room. The party's downstairs."

My heart dropped as Damien's voice sounded in the empty room. He banged on the door, and I flinched. I put my hand on the door nob and turned it, the small button lock popped out, and I opened the door. Damien looked at me and backed up, making room so I could walk out. I walked out of the restroom, but he moved to his right, blocking the way out of the room.

"I need to leave," I told him.

"Sorry, Beautiful. Not fluent in sign language," he sighed the last part and his hot alcoholic break hit my face. I flinched as the smell reminded me of my father. I looked at him and his eyes were on the floor. I wasn't sure how long he was looking down, so I didn't know if he had noticed me flinch.

He looked up at me and smiled, the two dimples on his cheeks getting deeper and making him look more innocent. His grey eyes were glossy from the alcohol, and his face was relaxed, no longer carrying the angry expression as it had earlier. I made a move toward the door, but he moved closer to me, so I backed up.

He walked toward me, stumbling a bit, so he put his cup down and continued to walk toward me. I tried to walk around him, but his arm went around my waist. He turned me, but I backed away. I kept taking steps back but stopped when my foot his the wall.

"Why can't you see it?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him, and he brought himself closer. I looked to my left at the door that was a couple of feet away, wanting to make a run for it. He put his finger under my chin, making me look at him. Every breath he released was hot and smelled like alcohol. It didn't smell bad so the thoughts of my father left my mind and were replaced by Damien. I wasn't scared of him, but I was nervous at how close we were. "Why can't you see my feelings for you, Mae?" I scoffed at his question and he came closer.

I could see his feelings. How could I not, when he made them abundantly clear? I knew he didn't like me but how much longer was he going to rub that in?

He rubbed his thumb lightly over my cheeks then his index finger ran along the lining of my jaw. He moved my chin up, but I stayed looking down at his chest. "Please... look at me." He spoke so softly it hurt. It hurt at how adorable it was. I looked at him and the dimples on his cheeks dented more as his smile grew.

He put his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. He had surprised me by what he had said next. "I don't want to lose you," he said quietly, almost as if he had spoken to himself. He brought himself closer, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist and put his head in the crook of my neck. My arms felt awkward hanging over his shoulders, so I wrapped them around his neck. It had felt nice to hug him because he was bigger than me. The strong masculinity radiating off of him had made me feel safe. He hugged me tighter, and it made me feel loved and protected. It was a simple hug yet, held so many emotions. I leaned my head on the side of his head and he sighed. "You make me happy. Happier than I've felt in a really long time."

I shook my head calmly, disagreeing with him. That couldn't be true. I wouldn't believe it even if it was. He moved his head back and loosened his grip around my waist, but he didn't let go. "I'm telling you the truth. Yes, I had lied to you before, but I'm telling you the truth now. I have feelings for you, strong feelings. What I said in my gym was a lie. You aren't worthless, Mae. My god, you can never be worthless," he said each word desperately as if he was trying hard to make me believe them. "What's the saying? A drunk man's words are another man's thoughts?" I chuckled at his saying because it was wrong but stopped when he beamed a beautiful smile at me. I looked down but felt him nodding.

"A drunk man's words are a sober mans' thoughts," he said, and I knew what he had meant. He wanted me to believe that what he was saying was true. "I'm telling you the truth. Mae, I've had feelings for you for a long time. A long time ago, I pushed them away but the more I push, the stronger they become."

I understood what he had meant. It was the same way toward Damien. I wanted to forget my feelings for him and let go, but I couldn't. I couldn't forget something when I constantly reminded myself to forget.

Him having strong feelings for me sounded like a beautiful thought. Once that I would have loved to believe, but I won't be so naive now. I didn't have to worry about the feelings he was talking about because I knew once he had found out the truth, they'd go away.

He came closer to me and pushed his body against mine, closing any space we had and leaned his head closer. "Mae, I more than like you. I L-" he got interrupted by the door opening, and he backed away. A drunk couple stumbled in, laughing. "Get out of my room," Damien snapped, and they looked scared. I saw that as my opportunity to stop hearing his lies. I rushed out of the room, pushing past the drunk couple and ran down the stairs. I heard Damien calling my name, but ignored it.

I went back to the dance floor to find James because he had the keys, and I wanted to go home. I saw his head and started pushing myself through the crowd of people. He was dancing with his arms in the air and a beer in one hand. I pulled his arm and he turned to me.

"Keys," I signed.

"Huh?!" He shouted over the music. I reached into his pocket and pulled the keys out. "You're leaving?!" Since he had said 'you're' I figured he didn't want to leave yet. I pulled out my phone and typed because signing would have been useless.

Yeah. Something's come up. I saw Brody in the kitchen. Tell him to give you and Zach a ride.

"I'll go with you!" He shouted over the music. A new song came on and people started moving more aggressively to the song. James wrapped his arm around my waist. We moved better now that we were one; no one got in our way. We made it out of the circle, and I saw Damien coming out of the kitchen, searching for something.

He saw me but stopped when he saw James. He looked hurt, defeated as his shoulders sagged. He offered a sad smile as I walked toward the door, almost as if he was giving up. He turned around before I finished walking out, and I knew he was done. He was done fighting what it was that he was fighting, and it felt vaguely like it was him fighting his way to talk to me. Fighting to get me to understand that what I thought were his lies, were his truths. He was done, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was giving up.

I wanted him to be the guy the I thought he was. I wanted him to tell me the truth, but I wanted him to do it sober. I just wanted to have a normal life, and it felt like he was the way. The way to make my life normal, and it scared me that even though he had hurt me, I wanted him in my life.

James hadn't noticed who I was looking at and removed his arms and guided me out the door. He handed me the keys, and I got in the car and backed out. He pulled out his phone and texted someone. I peeked at his phone and saw him texting Zach. I drove out and drove back to my house. There was only one person on my mind as James started falling asleep in the passenger seat.

What was Damien going to say before he was interrupted? He had said his feeling for me were strong, but could I believe him while he was drunk? He said I wasn't worthless but why now? Why did he want to tell me that after he had already hurt me? Did he really feel sorry? Did he care or was this an act of a guilty conscience? So many questions flooded through my mind, causing me to drive faster to flood out my thoughts with the sound of the roaring that came from my car.

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A/N: Ugh, why couldn't he say what he wanted to say? What do you think he was going to say?

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