"What's your greatest fear?" She asked.
"To be forgotten," he answered. "But not just that. To be forgotten by a person who I could never forget."

Damien

After I told Bennett what I saw, he was worried too. I went to my room, locking myself in; unable to speak to anyone else. It was a tendency of mine; to hold everything in so no one else had to deal with my issues, or so they wouldn't worry. Gunner always told me that if I held in my emotions long enough, it'll backfire, and I'll explode. 

This is why I would make voice memos to Mae. I would tell her how I felt. It was easier to tell her because it never really felt like it was Mae. It always felt like I was just talking to myself.

The videos are nothing but everything at the same time. They're my emotions put onto film. I pulled out the laptop along with my earphones that had a speaker on them and I pressed record.

"So umm... I don't really know how to start this since what happened today was serious. I uhh... I saw something today. Something that worried me. Worries," I corrected myself. "It still worries me and I can't stop seeing it in my head. I can't stop replaying it. I need to stop before I lose my mind.

"I know you have secrets but so do I. I'm scared that once you know my secrets you won't like me. My secrets are scary. They're gruesome, but I still have this hope in my heart, a hope you can't look past.

"I'll be here for you, Mae. Don't worry. If you ever choose to let me in, I'll show you how worthy my love for you is."

I ended the video and saved the file with the rest. My phone buzzed, so I picked it up quickly, hoping to see a text from Mae but instead, saw one from Ryan.

Meet up. It's time. -Ryan

I got dressed except for my shoes and walked out. "I hate having to wear a size smaller shoes. It hurts my feet," Ryder complained when I walked into the living room.

"We all have to do it," I told him. "Just don't put them on yet."

"Ryan says he has all the plans down... it's showtime," Max told us, and we left in my car. We went back to the base, where the rest of my members were and walked in.

I still held my shoes in my hand, not wanting to put the size smaller shoes on until I had to. We walked into the basement and some of the guys who're going were sitting around a table. Despite other members not going, they waited to hear how the plan was going to go down.

I liked that of them. They wanted to know how things went despite them not going. They were ready to learn.

"Boys... and girls," Ryan smiled at the women in our crew. "This is how it'll go down."

Usually, the leader told the plans but for heists, Ryan always told the plans. He was the leader of Bank Heists. He had a special way of persuading someone with his words.

"Let's hear it," I told him, sitting down and crossing my arms on the table.

"Talia will get dressed, real pretty and walk-in. She's the Ace for today," Ryan started, and she smiled, a little smugly. Ryan had a thing for Talia and she knew it. Talia was a badass. She was top female around here. She knew of Ryan's crush, so she loved to tease him about it. "I'm thinking of a red dress. It'll contrast nicely with your blond hair. Really stand out."

"Mmm-hmm," She hummed and ran a hand threw her blond hair and gathered it in a ponytail. When she lifted her arms, her crop top rose a little, showing her red lace bra. "Red's my favorite color." She smiled as she tied her hair up into a high ponytail. He kept looking at her and nodded a couple of times, never taking his eyes off of her.

Max snapped his finger loudly, getting Ryan's attention. "Focus, Man. This is why you never come on heists. Talia's a distraction." Max leaned over, directing his last sentence at Talia while he looked at her and she laughed.

"You make it sound like it's my fault," she said. The right side of her lips turning up into a small smirk.

"You make it sound like it's not," he said, and she turned her attention to Ryan.

"As I was saying, Talia will go in ten minutes before everything goes down. She'll be in there while you hold her captive. It'll be good for when the cops show up. They'll question her and she'll be able to switch the story around. Lead them off as little.

"As for the crew that's going, you'll enter through the second back door. There's a small dirt path you need to walk on. When you go, I'll turn on the sprinklers so that the dirt turns into mud and your footprints will be on the tiles. The cops will get those and notice the size. Of course not your actual size but a size smaller.

"You'll have precisely... six minutes and twenty- three seconds to get everything and get out," Ryan told us.

"That's less time than before," Gunner noticed and Ryan nodded.

"Exactly... that's why the people who are taking the money have been practicing. Bennett will guard the door. Ryder will take Talia hostage. Max has been practicing to unlock the vault. He's so dedicated, he took the day off of school just so he can have everything down," Ryan smiled and everyone laughed because Ryan was teasing Max.

"Hey. I'd rather be safe than sorry," Max said and people nodded.

"Damien will also guard the hostages. Making sure no one has their phones out or anything along with making sure people aren't in the other rooms. That's what you'll do first. You'll check the rooms then you'll come out and check the hostages.

"There are two vaults. The one in the back is where they keep the goods. The first one is sort of like a default vault," Ryan rhymed and Talia laughed.

"That wasn't funny," Max told her and she kept smiling.

"Well, I thought it was," Talia said. "But then again you have no sense of humor so why would you think anything is."

"I think you're funny," he smiled at her. "Funny looking," Max finished and laughed.

"Ooooh, how original," she smiled sarcastically.

"Focus," I told them, and they turned back to Ryan.

"That vault was there first, then they added the second one a year and a half ago."

"So the money is in the second vault?" Max asked and Ryan nodded.

"What's in the first?" Adam, another one of my members asked. He was coming with us today. Bank heists had their original member line up and since we're doing this in our town, the original line up was going. Usually, we let others fill some of the weaker spots so they could learn how things went down, but for today, we needed the strong ones.

"The first one is where they keep the files. They used the old file room to make more offices, then the older vault for files," Ryan answered.

"So the first vault is in the front of the bank and it carries file. The second vault is in the back and it carries the money," Adam clarified, and Ryan nodded.

"After the transferrers leave, that's when you'll go in. You'll arrive at the same time but one of the transfer guys will be trying to get the girl in the front desk's, number like he does every time but she always says no. Poor guy, give him a chance," Ryan said and shot a glance at Talia. She was cleaning her gun so she wasn't looking at him, but she was hearing.

"Maybe she's just not interested," Talia said with a playful smile as she looked at her gun.

"She's interested. I think she's just scared," Ryan said and the room grew quiet. Talia's playful smile slowly faded, but she still managed to clean her gun.

"There's probably an age difference, and she probably doesn't want to go to jail," she said like it was an obvious reason.

"Actually, the transfer guy is older but they're both adults so it shouldn't matter," Ryan said and everyone knew they were talking about each other. Ryan, was in fact, younger than Talia. She was three years older.

"She's probably just trying to spare his feelings," she said as she started putting her gun back together.

"Or she's scared to fall in love because she's been hurt before. But this guy's a good guy. He'd be loyal," Ryan said. "All she'd have to do was give him a chance-"

"Leave it alone, Ryan!" She told him, angrily and placed the assembled but unloaded gun on the table. He glared back at the blueprints on the table in front of him with his lips pursed together.

"Focus!" I raised my voice. I was tired of the endless game they always played. "We cannot have these kinds of distractions. Either you're in this... or you're out! I want clear minds, not clouded ones. Understand?! This goes for everyone!"

"Yes!" Everyone said and I nodded once.

"Continue," I furrowed my eyebrows as I spoke to Ryan.

"Once you walk in, you're going to pull your guns at everyone. You know the drill with that. You'll get the money and get out. A mile away, there's an auto shop that has a garage underneath. You'll switch the cars out and drive down to the school. There, you'll get picked up by Mike."

"Sounds good," Bennett said. I looked down at Bennett's right leg and it was shaking up and down quickly. I couldn't tell if it was out of habit or nerves. Perhaps, both?

I started to take into account of every member that was going. I wanted to see if their head was in this. Adam was looking down, nodding while Ryan spoke. It was something he did when he needed to focus solely on what the person was saying. He was calm and no signs of him being jittery.

Max was calm but he still messed with the dial in his hands, turning and turning the dial till it opened. When he first started, it took ten times to it and his timer read fifteen minutes. Too many times with too much time. Now when he did it, it took five times and six minutes. He kept doing it over and over again. Three tries and two minutes. That record held for a while.

I glanced at Talia and she looked at me, I looked away, smoothly and looked to Ryan. She was a watcher, always watching her peripheral vision and looking to see if people were looking at her. She never acted on it unless it was one of her members looking at her. She shifted in her seat so she was looking at Ryan as he continued to speak. Her shoulders were tensed and it was hard to tell if she was tense because the heist or because she was in a disagreement with Ryan. This was why I needed my members focused at all times.

"There are security guards at every door. The front entrance has two on either side of the door as well as the side entrance. The back door is the only door that has one guard. That guard every day at twelve in the afternoon takes his coffee crap," Ryan chuckled. "He's gone from thirty minutes to forty-five minutes. Depending, if he had breakfast that morning or not."

"Duuude," Max cringed in disgust. He looked uneasy and I knew it was from being stressed for the heist. A part of it was from what Ryan said but there was too much angst on his face to be just from talk of a morning crap. He needed to release his angst and this was his only outlet, a slight disturbance in the conversation.

"What? I have to know this stuff. He had breakfast this morning," he told Max, and Max stared at Ryan. "There's a restroom right next to the back door so the guard doesn't go far. You'll go in right when he's done taking his crap. You need to get in and get out. Bennett will tranq the guard and you'll go in.

"We got this. I'll be with you in your in-ear piece. No one is going to suspect teens to rob a bank. No teenager is smart enough. They don't have enough balls to do it," Ryan said. "They're not brave like you. They don't have enough will. You guys?... you guys have balls. You guys are crazy!"

"Yeah!" We shouted.

"You guys need money to feed your families," Ryan looked at Max, and Max nodded. "To get out," Ryan looked at Bennett. "To pay for your college funds." He looked at Ryder. "You guys need to live and this is the way! You're not just doing this for yourself. It's a selfless act. One that's waiting for you to seize this opportunity and take what's about to be yours."

"Get ready!" I told everyone as they were getting pumped; we all started moving out. I got up, grabbing my shoes and putting them on. My foot looked smaller in these shoes which made me laugh.

"You alright?" Talia asked Max. She came back down wearing a red dress with matching heels and her hair in a neat loose bun. Ryan couldn't take his big ass eyes off of her. He looked down and turned around, not saying anything. She glanced at Ryan, but he didn't look at her again, it made her confused.

"Yeah. All good," Max said and stood up, strapping his gun on his right side.

"You sure?" I asked. "I don't want anyone there who's not going to be focused."

"I'm focused, Man. I need this," he said, his voice holding all his conviction.

"Alright. That's what I wanna hear," I nodded. I looked at Ryder and was loading his bullets into his magazine. He took a couple of deep breaths. He released two shaky ones and took a couple more deep breaths, blowing out strong and steady ones. He was good.

"You should get going," Ryan told Talia. "Here." He held out a gold bracelet. She held out her wrist with a small, gentle smile and he put it on her. "It'll record your conversation with the police."

"Smart," She complimented with a gentle smile. He nodded and turned back as if her compliment was nothing. She was going to say something, but she stopped before anything could come out and turned to walk away.

"Good luck," he told her while sitting down at his desk and bringing up the bank's cameras. She left without looking back and we got ready. "Leave when she shows up."

"Alright. I have them," Gunner said when he walked down. He was carrying a load of jackets. He set them on the table and we grabbed one.

"It repulses me," Ryder said. I couldn't have agreed more.

"They stole Max's car. This is just revenge," I told them. The jackets were made to look like the Reapers' jackets. The Reapers were our rivals. We've been at war with them since I started. They were the only ones who didn't accept the fact that a new gang was coming up.

The other two crews backed me, but the Reapers didn't. But I knew they were never going to. Not with our families long war that's been happening since before I was born.

"Everyone gets a jacket. If the witnesses ask, it was the Reapers," Max smiled and grabbed a jacket. He glared at the black jacket, clenching his jaw before putting it on. He pulled out his phone and made a call. He put the phone on speaker so he could put his shoes on.

"What do you want, Big Head?" I heard Ashley on the other side.

"You do have an abnormally large head," Ryder chuckled.

"Shut up," Max told him, and Ryder clenched his jaw. I patted Ryder's back, but he shrugged me off. He and Max have never really gotten along. They're friends but only because of me. I think it's because they're too much alike that they always fight.

They both know ways to get under each others' skin which they do perfectly to each other. Max and I became friends when we were freshmen's. Ryder and Bennett would visit me during the summers. I think Ryder's always been jealous of my relationship with Max.

Ryder is the type of friend who doesn't like his best friends having other best friends. I used to find it silly of Ryder until I saw how close he was with Bennett, then I started to feel that jealousy myself.

We're all close. We're best friends but within a group of friends, they'll always be that two who are best-best friends.

"Where are you?" Max asked.

"I'm at school with some friends," she said.

"Liar. Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm at the skate park with some friends," she admitted.

"Okay. I just wanted to know. Be safe. Don't do drugs," he told her, and she laughed.

"Good thing weed's not drugs," she hung up, and he shook his head while tying up his shoes. He stood up and put his phone on Ryan's desk.

"Alright, she's arrived," Ryan said, and we moved out.

"Is Stoner in the van?" I asked as we walked down the hall. Stoner was another member of my crew. He lived up to his name.

"Yeah. He's ready... and stoned," Ryder laughed towards the end. We walked out of the house and into the van.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Stoner said while raising his arms up when we loaded into the van. He had small, stoner eyes with a big cheesy grin.

"It's time," I told him and he sat up straight, turning on the car and getting the hell away from the base. "Keep the car running."

"Did you get me my good luck snacks?" He laughed. I nudged Ryder.

Despite Stoner being in the state that he was in, he was more focused. Stoner has ADHD and the only thing that calmed him down was indica. He took a few hits and he says everything sort of slows down. He says it makes him feel almost sleep deprived but not sleepy. It just allowed him to stay focus. It also makes him a hell of a racer. We trusted him.

"Here," Ryder handed him his Swedish fish and a blue Gatorade.

"Yes!" Stoner said with small eyes and a big smile, like a kid who just got his favorite toy in the world. "This is a grown man's snacks." We laughed at him and his smile grew bigger. He loved making people smile, it was his favorite thing. He pulled up to the bank and we put our gloves on along with our masks. "I have my in-ear piece, so I'll hear everything."

"Good," I said. "Go!"

We moved out and snuck into the back of the bank. The sprinklers were on already, so we made sure to step in the mud. "I can open the doors on my end, but I can only hold it unlocked for thirteen seconds so you have to move fast. Any longer than that, It'll set off the alarms," Ryan told us from our in-ear piece. "Go."

Bennett swung the door open but there was no security guard like Ryan said. "Ry- HQ!" Bennett hissed quietly.

"He's always there. Never less than thirty minutes and never more than forty-five!" Ryan shouted. "Bennett will have to wait and tranq him after he gets out. You have two seconds to close the door." Everyone got in as Ryan was counting down. "One."

The door closed.

We waited but no alarms went off. The restroom door opened and Bennett wasn't ready. Bennett rushed him, grabbing his arms and pushing him against the wall. Max shot him with the tranq that was around Bennett's neck but the guard fought back.

Bennett punched him making the effects work instantly. We looked at Bennett, but we couldn't see the face he was making under his mask.

We walked down the hall with Ryan following us through our in-ear piece which held trackers inside them. "Take another left. That leads to the main entrance. Wait till the lock light turns from red to green, allowing you access."

We waited and the light turned green. We rushed out, seeing everyone. Ryder rushed to a group of people and Talia was the closest target. She had her back towards him, not seeing him coming. She screamed and everyone had our attention. Max and Bennett rushed to the front desk. "PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! NOW!" They yelled at the workers. They put their hands up but the male worker hesitated. Max whacked him across the face with his gun and knocked him unconscious.

"WE'RE NOT FUCKING AROUND!" I roared. I pointed my gun at the two guards who were pointing their guns at me.

"A couple of people were in their office, but I got them out," Adam said as he walked next to me, pointing his gun at the second guard. I nodded and appreciated that he did my job when I got caught up.

"Drop it!" He demanded, but they didn't listen. Adam cocked his gun and took a step closer. "I will... shoot you." Adam's breathing escalated as he was getting angry. The guards set their weapons on the floor.

"Kick them over," I told them, and they both listened. "Get with the rest of them." I motioned my gun to the left, telling them where to go. Once they walked with the other people, I bent down and unloaded their bullets on the floor, separating every piece.

I looked over everyone here, and my heart dropped when I saw who was sitting on the floor with their knees brought up to their chest.

Mae.

"Stop looking at her," Ryan told me. I looked at my gun, pretending to cock it. I glanced back at her and noticed she was with Zach. They were sitting next to each other with scared looks on their faces. "Stop!"

All of my members stopped what they were doing when Ryan shouted. They looked at me but they were wasting time. "Not you!" I lowered the tone of my voice in a threatening way and everyone got back to work.

"If you even move a finger... I will shoot her!" Ryder shouted at everyone. Talia started crying, begging for her life. It was quite amusing how she was such an amazing actress. Talia never cried so it was strange seeing someone who was so brave look so weak.

"The way to the second vault is through the first," Ryan spoke. Max started moving out, going into the second hall on the left side of the bank.

"It's locked," Max said, slightly panicked. I knew he would panic. "We weren't fast enough. I knew this was going to happen!... Shit!"

"It's okay, the guard threw us off. But you practiced for this. The first couple of times you didn't succeed but then you practiced and you succeeded. You can do this. Trust yourself. You know how to open the vault," Ryan told him.

"Okay," Max whispered to himself. I walked to the people sitting in a circle. I saw someone with their hands in their backpack.

"Put your hands where I can see them!" I shouted and the guy put his hands up. It was a young boy, maybe fifteen? "What's your name?"

"Tommy," He said and the look in his eyes was pure terror.

"Give me the backpack," I told him, angrily. He hesitated and rushed into his backpack but didn't give it to me. I knew what he was doing, so I rushed him and pulled the backpack away. I reached into his bag and found his phone. He was live-streaming.

I slammed his phone on the ground, making the glass of the phone shatter and scatter across the floor. I pulled him up by the collar and brought him close.

He was shaking, trembling with fear as he worried for his life. "I'm sorry! Please, I'm so sorry!" He apologized as fast as he could. "Nothing happens to me at school. I was just trying to get known as a survivor of a bank heist. How cool would that be? Please."

"Now, you'll be remembered as the idiot who chose to live-stream. You want attention? The whole town will give you attention. You just won't be here to receive it," I told him and started pulling him towards one of the rooms. He pulled against me but he wasn't strong enough.

"No! Please!" He screamed. I held the gun to his head, and he stopped. Tears started coming down his face. He was scared and I felt so bad.

"I'm sorry," I spoke in a monotone voice, showing that I didn't care when in reality, I was truly sorry. He shook his head as more tears fell. I brought him into an office room. "Get on your knees with your hands behind your head."

"Please."

"Now!" I demanded. He walked into the room and got onto his knees with his hands behind his head as I instructed.

"Just tell my mom I love her. And that I'm sorry for breaking my promise to always take care of her," he told me. "Please, tell her."

"You can tell her yourself," I told him and more tears poured. "Don't be so stupid next time."

He looked at me when I said next time. "What?" His voice shook. Snot was running out of his nose as it mixed with his tears. His eyes were bloodshot, and I felt bad for him. I hoped that when this day was over, nothing would affect his mind. That no trauma would come from this.

That his mind wouldn't give him sleepless nights or nightmares when he finally got the chance to sleep. That when this was all over, he'd have the attention he wanted as a survivor of a bank height. That he'd be cool.

"I was never going to hurt you. I just wanted the others to know not to mess with me," I told him and started walking out. I heard his palms hit the ground, and he started crying. I assumed it was because he was keeping his life.

"Thank you," he cried.

"A word of advice?" I looked at him and he nodded. "Never trust a Reaper." He looked scared again. He looked at my gun, so I put it in my back waistband. "Some bad people might know you survived. They're gonna question this. Questions you're not gonna have the answers for. They're not gonna like the fact you don't have answers. You love your mom, I can tell. They'll take her from you and keep you alive so that you can always wonder and worry about what they're doing to and with her."

"No," he whispered, scared at the thought as he shook his head.

"Yes," I assured with a strong nod. "If you ever see someone wearing this jacket... run. Run the other way... as fast as you can."

"I will," he nodded, quickly.

I closed the door. "I can lock it," Ryan told me. I heard the lock engage, so I walked back out to the lobby. Adam had collected the phones and put them in a container. "You've been in there for five minutes. Hurry."

"I got it," I heard in the in-ear piece from Max. I side-eyed Mae. She had her knees brought up to her chest as she talked to Zach with her hands.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Adam asked her. He pointed the gun to her.

"Don't even, Damien," Ryan warned.  "Don't move. Don't try to protect her. Let it happen. He knows not to kill anyone."

"It's j-just Sign language," Zach answered.

"No one else is talking. Why the fuck are you guys?!" Adam asked. She flinched as he shouted, and I wanted to make him stop but it was pointless.

Ryder and Bennett moved to the vault with their bags. "Don't kill anyone," I told him. Mae looked at me, but I looked away and walked into the vault. "If you hurt her, A, I'll kill you," I told him through our in-ear piece.

We gathered the money, stuffing as much as we could into our bags and walked out. Adam left into the vault, it was his turn to fill his bag.

"Did you kill that boy?" An old man asked.

"I did what I had to," I deepened my voice.

"Thirty seconds. It's been too long," Ryan said. In the distance, we heard sirens. Adam came back with his bag stuffed. "Move out. Now!"

We ran out and loaded ourselves into the car. Stoner already had the car on drive so he drove off. We turned the corner, and I looked back. The cops still hadn't arrived yet.

We made it to the car garage to switch cars. "This is as far as I go," Stoner said, and we got off the car. He walked into the car shop, and they handed him a uniform. The guys who worked here nodded once, so I returned their acknowledgment, nodding one.

I got into the car and backed out. Heading towards the school. When I pulled into the school Mike was heading towards his car. I parked next to him, putting the duffel bag back around my neck and getting out.

I ducked as I moved around the car, sliding the van door open. We loaded in and two cop cars pulled into the school.

"Shit!" Mike hissed, ducking in his seat and hiding his face with his phone. They parked and got off, heading towards the office.

"It's just the probation officers," Max said. He checked his phone and his eyes widened. "Shit! I have a meeting with them today. Damn, they hate it when I'm not there."

"You have more pressing matters," Ryder told him and shook his head.

"Ehh, they'll reschedule it," Max waved off.

Mike drove back to the base, and we got off. "They're questioning Talia," Ryan informed us when we walked in. He had the camera set up, so we were able to see what was happening at the bank.

"When they came in, what did they do?" The cop that was questioning Talia asked. Talia shook her head as tears poured from her eyes. "It's okay. You're safe now."

"She's good," Bennett said as he watched Talia's act. The Counter's grabbed the bags from us and started counting and dividing the money.

"W-w-What if they come a-a-after m-me," She hiccuped as she cried.

"They won't come for you. We'll keep you safe," another cop told her. They handed her water which she accepted and drank.

"One of them took me. I'm not sure why but they did. I probably could have taken him but he had a gun. Maybe because he wasn't strong enough?" She told them and Ryder laughed.

"Riiiiiight," Ryder dragged. They kept interviewing Talia. When they were finished, she left.

"Alright. Ryan... your share," Adam told him and gave him the share of the money. Adam bowed and thanked him for his services. Ryan closed his eyes and bowed his head, slowly, accepting his money.

We were all amused. They were good friends. They were an odd pair. Ryan was cool and calm. Adam, on the other hand, was a hothead.

"We made good today, boys!" Bennett cheered. The profits we made tonight were split between everyone. They've all done their shares for our crew so they get paid. The ones who pulled off the heist are the ones who get paid more.

~A week later~

We finished training and going over lessons so everyone took off, but I stayed with Ryan. "Anything?" I asked as he was typing.

"No, her phones off, and she hasn't been on any social media today," Ryan told me. "She's M.I.A."

"Alright, Thanks. Let me know if anything changes," I told him and he nodded.

"I'ma head out to lunch," he told me and I nodded.

I walked back to my car, and the guys were waiting outside for me. "Back to my house?" I asked. They stopped talking about a video game and looked at me.

"Where else am I supposed to eat food?" Ryder asked and I shook my head as we got into our cars. "I'm feeling pizza and a race." Both reminded me of Mae.

When I was away from Mae, about a year ago, my feelings for her weren't strong. The more time I spent away from her, the more they seemed to fade. But being around her, seeing her laugh, and communicating with her made my feelings stronger. Knowing she knew I existed, made me feel like I had a chance with her.

We made it back to my house, of course with a race. Ryder won, but I was too distracted with my thoughts to really pay attention to the race. I heard my friends talking as we walked to the front door, but I didn't really pay attention; I was in my own mind thinking and thinking.

Saturdays are supposed to be fun but they're not when you're worried. About everything. Maybe even if it's nothing, you still worry.

"I suggest a party," Max suggested.

"It'll help you get over this Mae girl," Ryder said.

"This Mae girl?" I quoted him, squinting my eyes in confusion. "You make it seem like she's some stranger."

"Well, to be fair, she kind of is. At least to me. You may be told us to check up on her to see what she was like but it was never me," He said, and I looked at Bennett. Bennett was looking at Ryder with a look that made it seem like he wasn't supposed to say that, and I wasn't supposed to know. Bennett didn't want me to know that they lied to me for so long.

"Ryder and I checked up on her until a couple of months into sophomore year, then it was just me looking into Mae," Bennett admitted. Max looked at Ryder with a disappointed look and Ryder stood tall.

Ryder hated that look. Even when we were kids and his mom would give him that look, he's always hated it. It made him angry.

"No offense but before we even became friends with her, I didn't give a shit about her." Ryder seemed emotionless, it was his 'I don't give a shit, I'm bored' face.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" I asked. He was never this blunt before. The Ryder I knew before isn't the same Ryder that is now.

"Nothing," He said and pulled out his phone, sighing and leaning against the door frame to the kitchen as I put my hands in the back of me, on the counter.

"Obviously, it's something. The way you're talking about Mae. You know Mae. She's not just some girl anymore. And not only that. I noticed when that girl outside of the school wanted your number, and you treated her like she was nothing," I told him and he snapped a glare at me.

"Leave it. Alone... Damien," he spoke slowly with a dangerous, resentful tone in his voice.

"Or what? You're different and I want to know why," I told him, and he stopped leaning against the door frame.

"You want to know why I'm different?" He snapped. "Well, it's too damn late! You're about two years, too late, Damien!"

"Relax," Max told him.

"Don't tell me to fucking relax! Why don't you go and kiss your best friend's ass?" Ryder snapped pointing at Max then at me.

"Like you do with Bennett?!" Max raised his voice. It wasn't a good thing that there were two hot-heads in our group because they would constantly fight.

"Leave me out of this," Bennett told him. He hated conflict, serious conflict. I used to watch him flinch anytime a member got mad or if they yelled at each other. He doesn't do it anymore.

"Why are you so angry?" I asked Ryder and that snapped something in him.

"Me?!" He asked, incredulously. His palms were shaking from the way he clutched and shook them as he talked. The ire rising in him, making his neck and face turn red. "Your so-called 'best friend' is shouting at my best friend! Tell him to back the fuck off!"

"I fucking knew you were jealous! Oh poor, Ryder. He has every girl's attention but when he doesn't have Damien's, he bitches!" Max snapped towards Ryder. Ryder was an atom away from bursting from anger.

"Stop, Ryder. Don't get mad at Max because of something you're doing on your own," I told him. "I just wanna know."

"You wanna know?! You really fucking give a damn?!" He shouted from my kitchen door. The vein on his neck popping out. "Because it feels like everyone's lives got fucked, except yours!"

I was taken back. How could he even tell me that?!

"Except mine?" I asked calmly. But I was so far away from being calm. "MY FUCKING LIFE GOT TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!"

"Then why don't you act like it?!" He screamed.

"Because I'm not a little bitch," I snarled.

"You are such a goddamn perfect kid! You don't even react and if you want to know why I'm like this, it's just one of the ways I cope so fuck you, Damien. Fuck you for judging me." He kept pointing his finger at me. There was so much fury in his eyes.

"Fuck you for being an asshole," I spat.

"Mae's never gonna love a guy like you. You think she'll love a guy like you? Someone who killed his parents and couldn't revenge them?" he said and started walking out. That hurt. It cut deep. I was pissed and hurt at the same time.

"She would be so disappointed in you. The way you treat girls. Using them and just leaving them. You know how much she hated that. She'd be DISGUSTED in you," I spat, venom leaking from every word. He stopped walking and his shoulders tensed.

"I hate you," He said, meaning every word.

"Are you sure? It's not you... who you really hate, Ryder? Is it because you know I'm right? Maybe even you're disgusted in yourself," I mocked him in every way I knew. His hands were clenched and I knew he would fight me.

He looked at me and his eyes were watering, a teardrop sitting at the rim of his eyes. He just stared at me, and I knew I went too deep.

I hated that about myself. Whenever I felt attacked, I'd cut deeper than I needed to. I'd hurt them far more than I should have. I knew any moment I'd regret everything and I'd feel remorse.

Ryder looked down. He closed his eyes, letting two teardrops fall from his eyes. He took a deep, shaky breath in and walked out.

I could hear his heavy footsteps going up the stairs quickly. I felt like a douche. He wasn't angry anymore; he was hurt. And I hurt him. That was worse than being angry at me. I looked at Bennett, and he shook his head at me.

"You know you went too far, right?" Bennett asked with a sad look in his eyes. I hurt him too. I hesitated before I nodded because I wanted this to be a nightmare — something that I can wake from and those words would have never been said. "Apologize to him."

"He left," I told him, slightly hoping that I can think before I apologized.

"You know he wouldn't have. He hurt you, too. Despite everything he said, you guys are brothers," Max said. I nodded and walked out. I went upstairs and heard a guitar playing a beautiful tune.

I walked in, but Ryder kept playing. "'Love is so simple yet so difficult. Love is so easy to gain yet so hard to lose. Love can save us from destruction yet, can be the very reason for it,'" Ryder said. "My mom used to tell me that. She said 'love was powerful... maybe even too powerful but that was the beauty in love. Love is grand, it has faced many lives. It has endless stories and endless possibilities. It's the end of love that causes tragedies.'"

"Sounds beautiful," I told him.

"Of course. My mom said it," he said, lighting the mood, and I smiled a little.

"I'm sorry," I told him, and he shook his head.

"I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have attacked you first. I know how you get, and I know how I get. I saw it coming but at that moment, I didn't care. I haven't felt pain like that in a long time. I shut off when you left. A couple of months after my mom passed away, I shut off. In a way, I shut out all the hurt and pain in my life. I filled the void with meaningless things. But they were meaningless and that void couldn't be filled.

"I tried hard and eventually my way of avoiding the hurt became a habit. It became my way of coping with everything," Ryder admitted and tears rolled down his face. "I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to constantly fill an endless void. I don't want this to be my life.

"I think about it sometimes so when you said it, I realized that I was right and so were you. I do make her disgusted in me, and I probably make my mom disgusted too. I don't want that. I want a girlfriend, someone to hold and to love and protect.

"I sometimes try to find that in the girls I sleep with, but I can't. It's just not in them. We just don't connect that way. I want to find a girl my mom would have loved. I don't want this to be my life anymore, man."

"And it won't," I walked and sat down on the chair next to him. "It won't." I put my hand on the back of his neck and gripped him so he knew that I would be strong with him. He looked at me and leaned forward, putting our foreheads together.

"We're brothers. And that's for life," I told him with a strong voice as a leader should have, and he nodded as he gripped my left shoulder. "I love you, Mano."

We stood and hugged.

"So beautiful!" Bennett cried and clapped with Max.

"I hate you guys," I told them and opened my arms and Max and Bennett came to hug us.

"I feel like a girl," Ryder said.

"You're feeling. And there's nothing wrong with that," Max told him. Ryder back up and looked at Max.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," Ryder apologized, and Max shrugged.

"It's all good, Hermano. We're family too," Max said, and they hugged.

"If she's worth every fight. Every war. She's the battle but your love is the war," Bennett said, and I laughed.

"You're so corny," I laughed, and he shrugged.

"I'd like to think I'm a romantic," he shrugged. "But in all seriousness, don't give up, Damien."

"Yeah! If you have to knock down her door to talk to her, do it!" Max said and I nodded. "Barge in there and confess you love her."

"Whoa, that's fast," I told him, and they laughed. "But I should talk to her. I'm gonna do it. If it's fine with you guys."

"No, dude, we're totally against it. We're giving you this pep talk so we crush your hopes and dreams," Ryder said. He started pushing me out of the room and towards mine. "Leave so I can throw a party."

"The cops better not show up," I told him.

"As the triplets say 'I make no promises'," Ryder said then laughed. "Cleanup!" He shouted when I reached my room.

I look in the mirror, and I really did look tired. I haven't shaved in three days. I got the razor and cream out. I start shaving and once I was done, I got into the shower. I scrubbed every part of my body and got out.

I pulled a black shirt on with some black jeans and my black and white vans. I headed out of my room and went downstairs and started to walk out.

"Wait up." I turned to see Bennett and Ryder walking towards me.

"Be gentle with her. Mae's different," there was a serious look in Ryder's eyes but he looked down, trying to find his thoughts. He took a deep breath and nodded. "I've always wanted a little sister. Especially... after what happened. So don't screw this up." He chuckled, but I could tell it was a little forced.

"Good luck," Bennett told me and I nodded.

"Thanks," we brought each other in for a bro hug. I started walking out, and they told me something that made me smile.

"Go get your girl back!" they shouted in unison and I smiled harder.

My girl.