First of all, the chapter of this journal is going to be really reaaaaaaaally fucking serious.

Like, for real, not a single word I don't mean. And that is the very reason why I need to be taken seriously when I say that making out with Im Nayeon— theater-nerd-Im-fucking-Nayeon, with the weird cloaks and hats and glasses and everything— is the most terrifying shit that's ever happened to me in my entire fucking life.

Yeah, I apologize for the little spoiler right there, but Nayeon and I are gonna end up making out, just a little too exactly like this:

She didn't hesitate to use her hands that were currently holding either sides of my face to yank us both to the side until her back is pressing against the wall. I grabbed her by the waist when I felt her hand hurriedly lock behind my neck, pushing the back of my head firmly towards her so there's no way I could break the kiss. I'm not even sure why she thought I'd break the kiss in the first place, but maybe because she's just a little paranoid since—

"I don't know, Momo. I just... haven't really kissed-kissed a girl before."

What a shocker.

Now, I don't want to come off too strong, so I'm gonna break everything down to pieces before all of this shit piles up in a giant, hot mess and just explodes right then and there.

You see, there are three big things that happened that night. One: I picked Nayeon up to take her to Dahyun's party, which, apparently, she was also originally invited to, anyways, but declined for some reasons. Anyway, the start wasn't really that much of a great start for either of us, since basically the moment Nayeon stepped out of that door, she's already decided to piss me off.

"Are you serious?" I ask the second the window to the passenger's side was rolled down. "You're gonna go to someone's party looking like that?"

For context, she looks like a fucking grandma. And no, don't think I'm being an asshole. I'm just tryna describe what I see, really see.

Do you guys want in on it too?

Here is a list of clothing items you should never, ever wear to a high school party— especially, if you're a high school student, yourself, man don't fucking wear it at all—

1. Khakis. Whether its a trouser or some weird skirt (like Nayeon's wearing right now) or those long ass bell bottoms, just fucking don't. First, because khaki is literally the universal fucking OOTD for every family thanksgiving dinner ever; Second, because khakis are for church and private, catholic school uniforms and stuff; And third, because khakis are khakis.
2. Glasses. If you don't want some random drunk dude running into you or vomitting on you out of nowhere that'd eventually be the reason why some sort of accessory falls off your body and causes you to either lose or break it, learn to stick to fucking contacts.
3. Diamond-patterned wool vests. ESPECIALLY those light and dark green ones that literally screams 'Daddy teaches me golf.'

Nah-uh.

"Why what's wrong with my clothes?" Nayeon asks, and I had to laugh for a moment.

However, when I realized she was somewhat genuinely confused and being totally serious at the moment, I stopped.

"Wait, are you for real?" I asked, my eyes wide. Nayeon just glared at me, crossing her arms over her chest. Not this fucking attitude again. She seems to like doing this to me whenever she can— I hate it! "Okay, first of all, you look like either you're that geeky nerd in every cringey chick flick movie in the 60s, or YOU'RE in your 60s."

Nayeon scoffs, "Oh, and now you're, what, a fashion expert?"

I rolled my eyes before resting my arm on the backrest of the passenger's seat, leaning closer so Nayeon could see the way I narrowed my eyes.

"No, but I've endured enough bullying with the way I dress back in sophomore year to know better than wearing grandma clothes to a party with a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders," I shrugged. "So wear something hardcore or slutty or just throw the fucking khakis away if you don't wanna end up calling your mom to pick you up."

Nayeon groaned at that, of course, and I thought I saw her about to retort but then she realized it was no use arguing with me, so instead, she stomped away and back towards the house to change.

In summary, I win.

But then, I instantly thought otherwise the second Nayeon comes back out a few minutes later in a sleeveless velour crop top, some ripped denim shorts, black thigh high boots, and a choker.

Damn.

Who knew she could be hot if she wanted to?

And I think it kinda backfired on me a little too, because the second Nayeon stepped into the car and slammed the passenger's door shut behind her, her scent instantly filled up the tiny little space between us and I was speechless.

"Ugh, what's the matter now?" She questions, exasperated, because apparently I was just staring at her for almost a solid minute now.

I didn't even know.

"Uh, noth— nothing I," Why the fuck are you stuttering? "Nothing, just— it's the first time you finally looked like an actual human being, you know? I had to process it."

I cleared my throat as I aimlessly started the car back up, the roaring engine failing to muffle the sound of my uncontrollably beating chest. Why am I even nervous?

Apparently, Nayeon realized that too, because I thought saw her raise one eyebrow as she continued to study me, until later on, when we're off the side of the road, she let out a chuckle.

"You were totally checking me out, weren't you?"

I scoffed, "Please." Could she be more right?

No, but seriously, can someone stick a fork in me? Because I'm pretty sure I'm absolutely fucking done.

A whole different looking Im-fucking-Nayeon is sitting on the passenger's side of the car I'm driving— and I'm ruined. Why? How? Just— why?! It's not like this is the first time ever I've sat this close to a pretty girl, definitely not if I used to hang out with Jihyo all the time, right? So how come I'm acting a little too funny about this?

But it wasn't just the fact that Nayeon looked insanely fucking hot that made me feel and act all weird, it was also the thought that she obviously have absolutely no idea she looked insanely fucking hot. And for some reasons, guys love that.

For example — and at the same, time big thing number two: fucking idiot Bang Chan and his two moron sidekicks wolf-whistling obnoxiously the second Nayeon stepped out of my car when I pulled up before Dahyun's front yard.

"Damnnnnnn," for some reasons, apparently, he had to emphasize the letter n in that word. What a fucking weirdo. "Nayeon Im from the drama club? I didn't imagine you'd look so finee—"

"Alright," I cut the bastard off before his eyes could even finish scanning Nayeon's body up and down, clearing my throat as I grabbed Nayeon's hand rather abruptly, it effectively earned a yelp from her. "Don't address her, you fucking limpdick."

In response to that, I heard Chan scoff and yell from behind Nayeon and I just after we passed them by the front porch, "You're fucking lame, Hirai. Why don't you just go home to your mommy?" and laughed along with the two other moron he's with smoking electronic cigarettes next to him.

Just so you know, I had a choice between losing control again and punching freaking Bang Chan square on his dumb face right there, or revealing my presence to Jihyo, instead, and letting her see that she's not the only one who can replace her best friend with someone else— and I must say, I am rather wise enough to go with the latter.

Except, I didn't really think I did, because the second we're inside the house, I instantly, subconsciously dropped Nayeon's hand, left her alone right where she's standing by Dahyun's front door, and went straight for the booze lined up so beautifully on the marble kitchen counter, pouring a whole shot glass for myself and downing that vodka straight up, it actually burnt my throat a little bit.

Fuck.

"I see, you're not doing the best at decision making around here, Hirai Momo," I heard a familiar voice ring against my ears from behind, and I instantly knew who it was. "For the record, you're in my party, and in my party, no one drinks without a little company. Gimme that."

I was a bit stunned when Dahyun's hand suddenly snatched the glass from my hand and downed the vodka shot, herself, wincing a little bit at the strong taste before plopping down on the stool next to me and wrapping a friendly arm around my shoulder. "What's poppin' man?"

Fucking weirdo. Literally who talks like this?

Kim Dahyun — that one insanely gifted kid. You know, like, the type to be effortlessly friends with who-the-fuck-ever and at the same time have the fucking energy for literally anything and everything? I mean, she's in the fucking drum and lyre squad, the choir, the theater and drama club, the debate team, the arts club, and the student representatives council all at fucking once, the very reason why she knows everyone and everyone knows her.

She's a fucking maniac.

Also, how are these type of kids really are just so good at everything, anyways? Like, they're talented and cool and smart (but not really the weird, nerdy type of way) and they just damn straight could rule the fucking school, ruin anyone's life they want, and be fucking unstoppable — yet they don't even fucking know because they're too busy having the time of their lives and just living as they are, so the dumbass, obnoxious quarterbacks and the fucking bimbos from the cheerleading team decide it's their chance to steal that spot at the top, instead.

Anyway, back to the big event number two:

"Uh, yeah, I don't know," I blinked my subconscious thoughts away, grabbing another glass and topping it up with another round of pure vodka. I am so gonna regret this later on. "But it's-it's poppin', I guess?"

I heard Dahyun chuckle next to me, watching me down my second round of vodka and whistling as I put the shot glass back down on the counter and shook my head, which is apparently, now starting to spin so painfully slowly.

"Why do I feel like you intend to do something stupid anytime now?" Dahyun shakes her head as she subtly pulls the bottle away from me and hands me a can of Coca Cola, instead. "I say, you go a little easy on the booze, Momoring. I can't afford dry cleaning someone's guts off my mom's couch again."

"Please don't fucking call me that."

However, I only earned another laugh from Dahyun, who finally decided to turn the topic around.

"So, you came with Jihyo?" I simply shook my head, and Dahyun instantly replies, "Oh right, I just remembered she came in with Sana a couple of hours ago. Those nasty ass bitches really thought no one would notice they went missing to one of the bedrooms upstairs after straight up grinding on each other on the dance floor earlier."

I might've tried my best not to visibly flinch at that. Or let my eye twitch. Or my lip.

It was no piece of cake. I was shaking.

Anyway, "So you came alone?" Dahyun asks again. This time, I actually let out a response.

"No, I came with someone," I said, and then I blinked, suddenly getting reminded of the fact that, "Hey, you invited Im Nayeon to your party, right? And she declined? Why'd you think so?"

"Hmmmm, yeah," Dahyun nods, fortunately not paying that much attention on the fact that I'm talking to her about her co drama club member, thank god. "To be honest, I don't really know, man. She said she has this thing with family and shit, I don't know. It's usually just the made-up excuses, I mean, like always," she sighs, shaking her head a little. "Such a bummer. Nayeon's actually real fun, you know? I kinda wish she could make it."

"Oh she did, actually," I find myself responding, making Dahyun shoot her gaze up at me.

"Huh?"

"I mean, she's here," I shrugged, glancing around when I remembered I just left her somewhere all by herself. "She's the one who I came here with, so,"

"No way!" I was a little startled when Dahyun yelled her reaction out loud, which was the reason why I had to snap my gaze back at her. "She agreed to come with you? She actually did? To my party? To an Im-Nayeon-repellent-Kim-Dahyun-party where basically every single thing is just a result of some drunk idiot's stupid life choices?"

I blinked at her repeatedly, obviously not expecting the outburst, before slowly shrugging my shoulder again. "Uhh, yeah, pretty much," I mumbled back after a couple of seconds, making Dahyun laugh even harder.

"Nooooo, there's no fucking way!" She exclaims in disbelief, before suddenly a familiar face slowly approached her spot from behind.

I watched the way Dahyun's girlfriend, Myoui Mina from the cheerleading squad, elegantly strut towards our direction, a small, toothless, yet somehow dangerous smile plastered firmly on her face. Her smoky eyes were wandering around aimlessly before they met mine and held my gaze so strong, Dahyun's voice actually faded inside my head and instead, I heard nothing but the wonderful sounds of angels singing and—

"Yo, champ. Eyes up here,"

Dahyun's voice effectively snapped me out of my daze, and I didn't even realize I was just straight up gawking at Mina's chest the whole fucking time. What the fuck! "I-I, yeah. Sorry about that," I stuttered out, clearing my throat so I could regain the confidence in my voice.

Mina's equally angelic laugh echoed my ears, apparently finding my reaction too adorably funny. I'll have to admit I was embarrassed as shit. You see, Myoui Mina's the type who has the power to basically make everyone turn their heads towards her without putting much effort into it. I'm telling you, it really boosts the hell out of Dahyun's ego, because everyone obviously wants Mina, but Mina only wants her.

"Hey, Momo," Mina greets, smiling at me friendly. "I didn't realize you went to parties."

"Yeah, uhm," I scratched my head, forcing a chuckle out. "I actually do prefer just staying home and watching a movie over some huge hormonal chaos such as high school parties like this, but I thought it's senior year, so, why not?"

"Exactly, man! That's my dude!" Dahyun chuckles after I let out my response. She even reached over to hit my back playfully, and I was honestly a bit startled. "Hey, babe, can you believe Nayeon actually agreed to come to this party— but only when it was Momo who asked her to?"

Was that supposed to sound like I thought it did?

I watched Mina raise an eyebrow, now turning to look at me amused.

"Why, I certainly didn't expect that," she chuckles a little, too, and for some reason whatsoever, my cheeks started to heat up. "But, anyway, since we're talking about it, uhm, I think Momo would want to come see this..."

This time, the expression in her face turned a little serious before nodding towards a certain direction. When I followed it with my gaze, I had to narrow my eyes, well, just to see if I was seeing things right.

"What the—" I thought I heard Dahyun mumble, attempting to stand up to approach the scene, but I beat her to it.

"Hey, I'll be right back, you guys," I let out, my tone undeniably deeper than the usual, as I put my glass down and stood up from the kitchen stool, my gaze still glued towards the direction in the living room where Mina gestured at earlier.

I walked towards said direction, where little bitch face Bang Chan (again) was standing next to an uncomfortable-looking Nayeon by the wooden coat rack next to the couch. He seems to be subtly trapping her with his other arm, which was resting on the wall Nayeon was currently leaning against, while forcing to get into a 'conversation' with her, his stupid ass face leaning closer to hers each passing second.

On normal occasions, of course, I wouldn't care. Why would I even bother wasting my precious time walking up to their spot, pulling Chan away from Nayeon by his shoulder, and abruptly pinning him against the wall, instead? The gesture effectively created a few unpleasant noises of bodies hitting cemented concretes, and it caused a few attention from the people in a close proximity to us, heads turned to watch the way I leaned my face closer to Chan's, my jaw locked as I firmly let out in a deep, hushed growl,

"I thought I asked you to fucking leave her alone, dickface?"

I saw Chan's expression turn sour by the time murmurs echoed his ears and he's still pinned helplessly against the wall, with Minatozaki Sana's sister effortlessly towering him over like a helpless, little puppy. I knew it hurt his ego. I confirmed it when he attempted to push me off, shouting at my face,

"Yo, get the fuck off me, you fucking lesbo, what the fuck—"

But I didn't let him do so, lifting my other arm up and pressing him back against the wall by his neck using it.

"What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?" I continued mumbling in the same threatening voice, "Leave Im fucking Nayeon out of your fucking business, do you hear me? Because if you don't, I am going to beat your ass up—and I am dead serious about it. Do you understand what I'm saying right now, you little piece of shit—"

I pressed my forearm even further upwards until I'm almost choking him to silence. 'Almost' being the key word here, because just when I was about to finish my sentence, I suddenly felt Dahyun's strength forcefully pull me back, successfully setting a now gasping Chan free from my death grip.

"Hey, hey. That's enough, now, you guys." I hear Dahyun say as she gestured for Chan's friends to take him away before turning to face me. "Come on, not in here. Not in my party."

I didn't bother responding, and instead, I let my furious gaze chase after Chan's retreating figure. I didn't even realize I was fuming. I wasn't even aware why in the first place. It was only when he was completely out of sight did I finally turn to face Dahyun again, who still had one hand on my shoulder, gripping me firmly on my spot, as if she knew I was going to attack the douchebag any second now.

"Yo, Momo, we good?" Dahyun asks again, raising an eyebrow at me. My eye involuntarily travelled towards where Nayeon stood with Mina, just behind Dahyun in front of me, and I had to let out a sigh.

"Yeah, just—" I cut myself off before shrugging Dahyun's hand off my shoulder and walking straight towards a still a bit startled Nayeon. "Come on."

Fleeing the scene with my hand gripping Nayeon's tightly, we found ourselves subconsciously walking towards the second floor of the mansion where I knew there's less people who could possibly interfere. With what, exactly?! I didn't even know. Nayeon hasn't said a word, I'm not really sure why. But, anyway, I preferred it that way. I preferred her not saying anything (especially in a form of protest) as I continued to drag her towards a random direction upstairs with me.

I also preferred her, not saying anything when we accidentally bumped into freaking Son Chaeyoung on the way downstairs with, oddly enough, Dahyun's little sister, Tzuyu, in tow. We all had to pause and stare wordlessly at each other, not a single word from any of the four of us as we stood by the last step of the living room staircase.

"Uhh," I saw Chaeyoung's eyes drop to the floor, a hand reaching up in order to scratch the side of her neck, or rather, to cover something up. (I'm not even gonna beat around the bush here, anymore. It was a hickey.) "H-hey, Momo, Nayeon. Tzuyu and I were just—"

However, she wasn't able to finish stammering out her futile excuse, anymore, when I decided to just cut her off. "Yeah, I'm not even gonna ask," I stated indifferently before tugging on Nayeon's hand again and walking completely past her and a now furiously blushing Tzuyu.

"Yah! You're not gonna tell Dahyun are you?!" I hear Chaeyoung shout after me, which made me roll my eyes.

"Not like the two of us schedule fucking brunch meetings on Saturdays, we're not even friends!"

I thought I heard Chaeyoung mumble a soft, "Oh, that's a relief," under her breath while Tzuyu giggled amusedly next to her. Meanwhile, Nayeon and I finally managed to reach the end of the hallways when suddenly, the most terrifying, god-awful, inevitable thing happened— like the universe wanted to play some silly trick on me...

Big thing number three: My sister, Minatozaki Sana, stumbling out of one of the rooms at the end of the hall, immediately being followed by a giggling Park Jihyo, my best friend (who I'm kinda, sorta inlove with and also), who pushed Sana by the chest playfully until she's leaning against the side of the door before leaning up to press their lips together in a full kiss.

(The cherry on top was when they smiled and giggled into each other's lips, obviously getting lost in their own little world, and thinking that no one was watching them.)

Okay first of all, ouch.

Universe, that was kind of rude.

Here's a whole other thing, not really that important but I thought it'd be nice to share: Nayeon's hand gripping mine a little tighter when she felt my body suddenly tense up at the sight of my best friend and my sister making out.

I mean, what is up with that?

"Hey," I thought I heard Nayeon whisper next to me, her tone slightly concerned. "Momo, are you—"

However, Nayeon didn't get the chance to finish that sentence, anymore. Not when the universe decided it would be funnier if Jihyo suddenly senses the presence of two other people not exactly that far away from them, which causes her to snap her head towards Nayeon and I's direction by the stairs.

Remember when I said that Hirai Momo just has to prove everyone else wrong no matter what? Well, apparently that also includes the universe and its funny, little sense of humor.

Because, out of fucking nowhere, I just decided right then and there that screw the fucking universe, I am way funnier than you are! and pulled Nayeon by the arm towards me in order to press my lips on hers— just before Jihyo manages to face our direction.

Before you assume the wrong, let me just put it out there that kissing Im Nayeon was awful because, oh my fucking god—this girl is fucking awful at kissing!

Okay, maybe I'm not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I, for once, am too, a little awful at this, anyway. Not the kissing in general, though— just this kissing. Like, with her.

With Nayeon.

I was positive—a fucking negative five. No, no. A negative ten. Yep, that's it. A fucking negative TEN.

And you know what made it worse?

"Momo?"

I promise you, I was just about to pull away from Nayeon—who's still very much shocked and frozen, by the way—so I could face Jihyo and see her reaction. (Why does it even matter?) However, it seems to me that the universe has its own petty ways of getting back at someone, because just exactly when I attempted to push through in pulling back, Nayeon took the liberty to rather push me away, instead.

And that, I was pretty sure Jihyo and Sana saw, too.

But, hold on, there's more.

I was left frozen in my spot when I suddenly felt a cold slap across my cheek, the stinging sensation of Nayeon's palm lingering on my now reddened skin as she pushed me completely off of her and yelled, "What the fuck, asshole?!" at me before stomping away in rage.

Of course she had to pass by a startled Jihyo and Sana, too, who were just trailing after Nayeon's retreating figure in utter surprise. When she was out of sight, they turned to face me again, and I could only send them back a forced, tight-lipped, get-me-the-fuck-out smile.

"Yeah, what's up?"

/