That night changed everything. Keith made sure they all stayed in line. He even made sure that he beat her at least once a week. He would come home drunk and go straight for her. She never knew when he would come after her and she didn't have to provoke him to be violent. Seth and Bella would hide in their closet but sometimes when it got to unpleasant Seth would take her outside and play far as possible from the house even if it was late at night. They became so close with each other in the past year.

On one of the nights they were playing in the garden and Bella had asked, "Why is daddy so mean?

"I don't know sis?"

"Do you think he will whip us like he does momma?"

He could tell how scared she was. "I hope he never does."

They laid in the dirt and watched the clouds cover the moon and every now and then stars would shine through. It was safe in the garden. Safe from the monster that raged through the house.

He tried to get her mind off of the screams from the house. "Let's go catch fireflies. I bet I can catch more than you."

Hurriedly she jumped up and started running through the garden trying to catch the fireflies that lit up within the night.

*****

"I want another son," he requested.

But Addie did not reply.

"Why haven't you gotten pregnant yet anyway. We have sex practically every night and it's been what..." he paused. "At least a good eight years or so."

"Maybe God doesn't think I need any more children," she whispered.

"Don't use that name in this house," he hissed.

"What God!"

"Yea, you know what word." He stared at her.

She didn't say it again for it was morning time and she did not want to start the day off with a fight.

"I just don't get it, Bella's going on eight and you should at least have had four more by now."

"Well, maybe my bruised up, broken body just can't have any more." She rubbed her belly. She had thought that two was enough and had thanked God daily that he only blessed her with the two.

She threw on her robe and was just about to walk out when he reached up and snatched her by the arm, pulling her back down to the bed. "Yea, we'll just see about that." He caressed her and kissed her gently down her neck to her breast. "It's been a while since we actually made love. Maybe that is what you need."

And for the next thirty minutes he made love to her. Caressed her, kissed every inch of her body. He fingered her hair and whispered in her ear. "I love you Addie." He fondled her, his hands were smooth and they made chills go down her spine. She lay silently while he manipulated her and eased his way inside of her. He took his time and for the first time in a long time she went along with him. Her eyes fluttered. She had wanted to cry but she held back the feeling. He had requested for a boy and he would get it in time for at this very moment she became pregnant. Again.

*****

Within the following months she had noticed the swelling in her mid section. She did not get sick but she seemed to be more tired than usual. On days that she was really tired she would fall asleep, sometimes under the big oak tree. Seth would work in the garden and finish up all of her chores. He had thought she was coming down with something and he knew if the chores were not finished by the time his dad got home it would have only made things more difficult for her.

He continued with his episodes. Usually late in the night after the kids were asleep. She knew that he would soon hit her hard enough that she would loose the baby. Sadly she wouldn't have mind because why should a child be raised this way? Why live in a house broken and shattered by violence.

She was going on five months and she could feel it flutter inside of her. She had tried to find clothes that were bigger to hide her stomach for now. She also prayed for a boy but had a feeling that it was not. She knew he would become mad if it was another girl and that fear alone haunted her.

It was now Thanksgiving and Keith came home with a wild turkey. He requested that she cooked it. She took it out back and pulled the feathers and soaked it down before cooking it. After several hours she had prepared a beautiful meal for the four of them. Bella had helped cook the mashed potatoes and carrots. Seth was busy chopping would for the fireplace. They heated the house at night to reduce the chill of the early winter. Bella set the table and then called out, "Dinners ready."

Keith walked in from the shed. He was always out there minding his own business. He washed his hands and glanced over at the table. It was nicely decorated and it even had one small candle in the middle.

"Momma it's starting to snow," Seth said as he walked in.

She looked outside and so did Bella. She smiled at her and whispered, "Maybe after you eat daddy will let the two of you go out and play."

Bella jumped up and down with excitement and then hurriedly sat at the table. There was no need to say the blessing, Keith would not have it and he stopped believing in God years ago. The one thing he did request was that they ate dinner together. She waited for everyone to sit down and then fixed him a plate, then Seth's and Bella's. She fixed hers last and then finally sat down to eat as well.

With the last bite, Bella jumped up and asked, "Daddy, can we please go play in the snow?" She reached over to hug him. This she hardly ever did. But with the hug he smiled at her.

"I guess, hurry along."

"Thank you daddy."

Addie gathered up the dirty dishes and carried them to the sink. He watched as she stood running the warm water and pouring some soap in. He admired her figure. She managed to keep her weight steady over the past ten years. Still slender. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. She felt his breath along her hairline and she tried to swallow with that knot in her throat.

"You smell so good," he whispered.

Her hands were still busy scrubbing the plates, even through it was difficult to keep her mind on her duties with him fondling her. He pulled her panties down to her knees and he pulled her closer to him. She could feel him inside of her. "The children?"

"They will be out there playing for a few minutes." He proceeded to force himself in her, water swished out of the sink onto the floor. He fondled her and wrapped his hands around her stomach and then his hand laid still.

"When were you going to tell me?" his voice echoed in her ear.

"Tell you what?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." He swung her around and sat her on the counter. He continued to pull her dress up and looked at her rounded out stomach. "When were you going to tell me about this?"

She did not know what to say. After all she had hoped to miscarry and then that would have saved her from this conversation but no she would have to think of something. "I...I...uh! I don't know."

"You were not even going to tell me were you." His voice cut right through her like a knife. The dishes jarred when he slammed his hand into the counter. His hand gripped her neck, forcing her to turn shades of red. "You little bitch, you were not even going to tell me." He threw her off the counter, luckily she landed on her side. He pulled both arms and dragged her into the bedroom. Strands of her hair twisted in his hands.

Seth heard her scream but continued to keep Bella occupied outside. Both of them were so accustomed of the out rage that they knew what to do and stayed away. They rolled a big snowball to make a snowman, made angels in the snow and then had a snowball fight. Once she tried to go in but he played other games in the snow with her. He tried so hard to keep her away from the monster.

Keith pulled her to the bed and with one jerk threw her on the bed. The back of his hand busted her lip. "That's for not telling me." The next punch he blacked her eye. He ripped the dress off while pulling at his belt. Suddenly it swung in mid air and come crashing into her back. The skin broke, and blood splashed on the sheets. He heard her say something but was not able to make out what she was saying, a muffled sound.

"What was that?" he asked raging.

"Please stop, your going to kill your son." She cried.

He did not say anything and he suddenly stopped hitting her. The thought alone made him stop. A son. A son was what he wanted. It was what he had asked for. He left the room and walked to the shed as she lay there and cried.

Moments later Seth walked in and crept quietly toward the bed. "Momma why do you let him do this to you?"

"I'm sorry Seth." She tried to look up at him with the one eye that was still able to open. "You two deserve better than this, I know."

"No momma you got it all wrong, you deserve better." He kissed her on the forehead and went to bed.

Later that night Keith walked back into the house plastered. He had drunk a case of beer and chased it down with whiskey, not to mention anything he shot up his veins. It's a wonder if it didn't kill him but it did knock him out for the night. For his sake he did not know that Addie already had a bag fixed. She also had a bag for Seth and Bella. She tiptoed out to the truck and placed the three bags in the back and then searched for the keys. Luckily they were left in the ignition. She hurried back up the steps and into the bedroom where the kids were sound asleep. She nudged Seth to wake up. He rose out of bed and looked at her confused. He rubbed his eyes. "Momma what's wrong?" he whispered.

"Shh! Come on were going for a ride."

Reluctantly he got out of the bed and threw on some clothes and then his boots. She turned to Bella and instead of waking her she picked her up and carried her quietly to the truck. She put the truck in neutral and let it roll down the small incline. Then she started it up. Even though it was still loud in the dark night it did not wake Keith because he was dead asleep. When they were out of view she turned the headlights on.

"Momma what are you doing?" Seth had asked again.

"Don't worry everything is going to be all right now."

The tires hit a gravel road and then pavement. She came to a dead end right into a main road. She looked both ways and hesitated on which direction to go.

"Momma?"

"Yea, what is it?"

"Dad goes that way into town."

"What's in town?"

"There's a store. One of his friends own it but I don't think it would be open right now."

"Then we should go this way." She turned the truck to go right in the opposite direction of the town. She drove with the windows down and let the wind blow her hair. Finally they reached a sign that said I-24 one half mile ahead. As she came to the interstate her breathing calmed down. She made her way through the traffic that still zoomed in the early morning. She drove up and then back down the mountain and as she came off the mountain she noticed the sun coming out behind the horizon. It was just about seven o'clock when she pulled into the gas station at exit 128.

She pulled out Keith's wallet that contained several twenty-dollar bills. She filled the truck up and walked in to pay. The store was fairly new. The man behind the counter was counting money in the drawer and was getting ready for his shift. She walked towards the back and got something to drink from the cooler and then on the way back up grabbed a few things for the kids to eat. She laid everything on the counter. While he was ringing her up she watched outside for any signs of Keith. "I also got twenty in gas on number two."

"It's cold out there this morning?"

"It sure is."

"You headed home so early from Thanksgiving."

"Yea, you could say that," she replied.

As he looked up their eyes met and she could tell by his expression that he felt her pain. "Are you all right ma'am?"

"I will be." She grabbed the brown paper bag and headed for the truck. She could feel him watching her. She opened the truck door and dropped in the bag and then searched for some change. She walked across the parking lot to the pay phone and dropped in a quarter then dialed.