In the spring Jada decided to take a full load at school. Most of the classes were Internet based but she still had two on campus. She worked as much as possible and during any free time that she could spare she spent the time with her kids. It was almost at the end of the semester and she had a major paper due. After her science class she walked to the library to do some more research. It was pretty packed considering a lot of the students were doing the same thing. Some were in groups of two-four and cramming for exams. An hour went by and she stood to go put a book back on the shelf when she was rudely bumped into. She fell into a chair in front of her, and the book that she was holding fell to the floor with a loud smack.

"Just great," he muffled under his breath. His papers had flung out everywhere.

She bent over to help him pick up the remaining papers. "I'm sorry, I should have looked before I stood up."

"I'll never get this all sorted out now." His voice was somewhat soft but his tone however was impolite.

"Would you like me to help you," she said apologetically, "After all it is partially my fault."

Without even looking up at her, he rolled his eyes with a huff, "I think you have helped enough."

She wanted to say that she was sorry again but why should she he was being so rude to her. An ass; just like a man. When she handed him the last sheet of paper their eyes caught each other. His eyes were crystal blue as if she cold see right through to his enter soul. He was well tanned and his hair was dark of waves. In a split second she could have sworn to see him smile, exposing little dimples in his cheeks. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days; the hair was a little stubby. She got a whiff of his cologne as he grabbed the paper from her. His hands looked so soft, callus free.

"I think this is the last sheet," she said.

"Thanks." He stood quickly and jetted out the door without even looking back.

"Well, thank you to!" she whispered to herself.

In the past year or so, she hadn't cared to get involved with anyone again. For one she didn't want a life like she had before. She couldn't let her children live that way. And how could she bring a man back into their life after all they had been through. She tried not to think of men even though some of the men at the café had asked her out a few times she always turned them down. It didn't matter what the excuse was or even if they heard the same one fifty times she always said no.

When the fall semester started up again, she had walked into her first class and there he was. The guy who last semester about knocked her over. She sat away from him but then when the class was asked to get into groups of two neither one had a partner, therefore they were paired together. He was reading something in the textbook and not once looked up at her. Then he searched through his bag and pulled out a notebook, a pen and a spiral. After he plopped the materials down he swirled around in his seat; the aroma of his cologne made her nose crinkle up. He held out his hand for hers to shake. "I'm Derrick. I guess it looks like we are partners for the semester."

"Hi, I'm uh....Jada." She wanted to say that they all ready met but decide to omit that from the conversation. His hands were still smooth. She wondered what he did all day while he was not at school. Apparently he had a good job because his hands would have told her otherwise.

He still looked the same. His eyes were dreamy. His dimples went in when he smiled. Her stomach felt a little squeamish just thinking about him.

When their hands touched, he smiled. Her hands were so soft. Her nails were well taken care of but were not polished. Her hair came just below her shoulders, jet black. Her lips looked so soft that he wished he could touch them just for a second, just once. He had not forgotten about the day in the library, but was too humiliated to let her know. He had been watching her. While studying in his group he would watch her study all by herself. He continued to watch her the rest of the semester. She was always alone, keeping to herself. She ate alone, studied alone, walked alone. It made him wonder if she acted the same way off of campus. Did she even live all by herself? It made him wonder so much because she was so pretty, so fascinating that he didn't understand why she would want to be by herself. The moment her hand touched his, he knew he wanted her. He looked down and noticed that she was not wearing a ring. He smiled a little and hoped that maybe, just maybe he could get a little closer to her by the end of the semester.

"So, you like Chemistry?" he tried to make small talk.

"Yeah, it's all right but I'm still trying to decide on what I want to get into. It's such a big decision and ..." she noticed that she was rambling. "I'm sorry. I'm probably boring you, uh."

"Not at all." He placed the Bunsen burner on the table and started the flame. "So, what are you majoring in?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Maybe something that has to do with children."

"Children?" He looked at her awkwardly.

"Yea, maybe a school counselor, a therapist maybe."

"You really like children that much?" He added the first chemical into the tube and then the second.

"Actually, I love children, but that's a whole different topic." She watched as the two chemicals came together. They infused with each other and it caused the chemicals to sizzle and foam to the top.

"Looks like we mixed it right. So are you seeing anyone?" His arm rubbed closer to hers.

"That has nothing to do with Chemistry." When she turned away from him her hair fell from behind her ear and hid her face.

"Oh! I didn't mean..."

"It's all right. Well looks like class is over." She reached over to grab the tube, "I'll clean this." And she placed the tube under the faucet.

A few weeks had past and Jada was trying to study for her first test in the class. Derrick came up behind her and looked over her shoulder. Then flopped down at the table sitting across form her.

"You feel like studying?" he asked.

"I thought that was what I was doing?"

"No, I mean do you feel like studying with me?

"Study with you?" Her nose snarled up and she started to shake her head no.

"Yea. You know I will ask you questions and you can ask me questions," He paused and looked around the room and then threw his hands up. "Come on, maybe over dinner."

"Oh! Is that what they call it now," she smirked.

"No! I just thought that we could study together but I tend to get hungry when I study so I thought that why not study over dinner."

"I don't know." She paused for a long moment.

"Why not, you got somewhere to go?"

"Actually I do, I got to get home."

"But I didn't think you were seeing anyone," His eyes contorted with confusion.

"Well, I'm not seeing anyone in particular, but I do have to get home."

"Oh!" he looked disappointed.

"Look! I just don't think you would understand."

"Try me." he smiled back at her.

"O.K. then, seven. I will cook, we'll eat, study, whatever." She pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down her address.

"Sounds great." He said as he took the paper from her.

As she inhaled she huffed, "Yea!" then exhaled. She wondered if he would still feel the same. Would he still like her or would he be out the door kicking and screaming.

She rushed home and crammed the clothes into the washer. She cleaned the counters and the dining table, stuffing loose mail and papers into drawers. She tossed the noodles into a pot of boiling water. Opened the jar of sauce into a smaller pan and discarded the jar in the trash. She turned the oven on to 300 degrees and popped in a pan of bread topped with butter and garlic. She didn't hear Austin and Hannah when they came in the door.

"Momma, what are you doing?" Hannah asked.

"Cleaning." She wiped the counter again and then grabbed the broom. "Oh, we are having company tonight."

"Who?"

"A friend from my class. Apparently he needs help with studying for a test. So he asked me for help."

"He!"

"It's just a friend, I promise." She finished sweeping and then stirred the noodles and then the sauce.

"Go get your brother and sister."

But Hannah just stood there looking dumb founded at her mother.

"I asked for you to go get Austin and Gabby, Hannah."

"Oh! Yea! AUSTIN, GABBY, MOMMA WANT'S YOU!" She yelled.

Jada just shook her head.

Austin came into the kitchen with Gabby. They looked at her while she was doing the finishing touches of the room.

"I thought you liked the house a little messy?" asked Austin.

"She does." Hannah placed both hands on her hip. "But we are having company tonight. Isn't that right momma?" She smiled ear to ear.

"Company?"

"What's coppanie?" asked Gabby.

"All right now. He is a friend from class. So please be nice and on your best behavior." She stirred the noodle and then took the pot of to drain the water.

"A man, a man, momma you said..."

But she cut him off in mid sentence, "I know what I said, he is just a friend and is needing some help studying, I am just going to help."

"Then why does he need to eat?" he asked sarcastically.

"I just thought it would be nice, now promise you guys will behave."

"Sure, whatever." Hannah rolled her eyes while taking her hands off of her hips and dropping them to her side.

"All right mom." Austin sighed.

"O.K. Mommy, we can do it." Gabby reached up for her to pick her up.

Within the next few minutes, Jada had everything set at the table, plates, silverware, glasses and napkins. The bowl of spaghetti was in the center with slices of buttered french bread arranged around the bowl. She was just about finished when there was a knock at the front door. Austin ran from his bedroom to answer it, a bouquet of flowers greeted him.

Without even looking to see who it was he said, "You hurt her and you have to deal with me." His tone was ill-mannered but he was only defending his mother.

Behind the bouquet he was stunned to hear a voice, a young boys voice at that. When he lowered the arrangement of flowers he noticed the boy giving him an unfavorable look. He stuttered, "I.....I.....I must have the wrong house."

"No you're at the right place." He stepped back so that Derrick could enter. "Mom's in the kitchen, you can wait over there on the couch." He pointed.

Even though he was totally baffled he walked into the room and found a place to sit while the boy left. He sat there for a few seconds and then stood up to walk around and look at the pictures on the mantel and the walls. There were a few pictures of the boy about the same age, none visible of him as a baby or a toddler. There were a few pictures with him and two other girls. The one girl was just a little younger than he was and the other one was much smaller maybe two or so. He thought back to his mother doing the same thing, broadcasting their lives for everyone to see. There were not any baby pictures of the two older children, "Well that's strange." He whispered. He assumed that there must have been a fire or some other good reason of why there were not any.

From behind him a voice startled him and he jumped, "Momma said she will be right out." The young girl was pretty, almost resembling her mother. Her hair was about the same length but a few strands were highlighted of golden brown. She did not smile and she stood back from him as if she was truly scared of him. Before he could say anything she vanished quickly behind the wall.

"Sorry, I was taking too long. Well everything is ready come on in the dining room." She wiped her hands on her apron and then reached behind her back to untie it. As she took it off she folded it and laid it on the backside of a chair; she didn't even notice his expression.

He sat down as if one of the kids had put a spell on him. He looked at her so perplexed.

"Are you all right?"

"Yea!" He was in awe. Her hair was pinned back in a twist; a few escaped strands fell loosely around her face. Her cheeks were a little flushed and her eyes sparkled when she looked up at him. Under the apron she wore a pair of fitted jeans that showed the curve of her hips. The black turtle neck sweater covered the rest of her but somehow enhanced her breast. The only visible skin was her hands and her face. He had to leave it up to his imagination what the rest of her looked like.

"Are you coming or not?"

As he stood up he handed her the flowers.

"You didn't..."

"No! I wanted too. Please take them."

As she took them from him she pulled them closer and took a deep breath, "There wonderful. You go sit down while I find a vase to put these in." She searched everywhere, but to her surprise there was not one vase in the house. She ended up grabbing a big glass tossing them in and filling it half full of water. When she came back into the room she sat them on the side table. Austin and Hannah were already sitting at the table starring at Derrick. "Hannah can you please go get Gabby."

Without a word she stood up and left the room. When she came back she was holding her in her arms. She sat her down and then herself.

"Who would like to do the blessing tonight?" Jada asked.

Hannah looked at Derrick and then back at her mother. "I guess I will momma."

"Thank you, Hannah."

As they bowed their heads Hannah said the prayer. "Thank you God for the wonderful food that momma has prepared for us tonight. Thank you for keeping us safe and for giving us this family and tonight we want to thank you for letting us have a guest at our table. Just please make sure he doesn't harm us in anyway. Amen."

Jada had practically bit her tongue with the last statement. When she looked up from the prayer she starred at Hannah and knew that she had meant every word of it. But what did she expect for her to say, after all she knew she was weary of men.

There were a few words that made Derrick wonder about even more. She had used the words 'safe' and 'harm' which was apparently meant for him. So he assumed that they had not been safe in the past and here he was intruding in on their little family. He looked at Jada without saying a word. Maybe that was why she was always to herself; she as well had been hurt at some point in the past.

Jada started to fix Gabby's plate and then noticed that Austin and Hannah were starring at Derrick waiting for him to fix his plate. They had not forgotten their father after all; they remembered that his plate was always fixed before theirs. They looked so small and so scared in that hushed moment. Derrick just looked and assumed that they were waiting on him so he started to grab the spoon form the spaghetti.

"Wait!" She reached out for his hand, pulling it back. "Who wants to play a game?" All three of them just starred at her as if she had lost her mind. Gabby was already eating and left traces of sauce on her face. "Let's see who can fix their plates the fastest. I bet I can beat you." She said chuckling. Austin and Hannah tied in first and then Jada. Derrick was lagging behind. When he sat his plate back down he nearly knocked over his glass. They all laughed with excitement. Suddenly the room fell quiet that you could have heard a pin drop from the next room. It was too long though and Gabby spoke up.

"What's your name?" Slurping a noodle into her mouth.

"My name in Derrick. What's your name?"

For a two-year-old she sure did talk a lot. "My name is Gabby, I'm two. That's my bubba Austin, he's twelve now and Hannah's my big sissy; she's ten." She took another scoop of noodles and shoved them into her mouth.

After they were finished eating, Jada took her plate into the kitchen. The rest followed behind her. "Hannah can you please give Gabby a bath."

"But mom!"

Derrick grabbed the plate from Jada. "I'll do the dishes, go give her a bath and put her to bed; I can wait."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, go on I got this." He turned and sunk his hands into the sink, bubbles of water swished out.

Jada picked up Gabby and took her to the bathroom. Hannah left to go to her room and Austin lingered behind. "I never seen a man do dishes before, well except for my papa."

"Really? Your daddy never did the dishes?"

"NO!" he blurted out, "I mean no, I don't have a dad."

"Oh! I'm sorry to hear about that."

"I'm not so why should you be sorry." He shrugged his shoulders. "He could rot in hell for all I care."

"Ouch!"

Jada had walked in on the last part of the conversation. She gave Austin a stern look; "We don't use those words in this house."

"Sorry momma."

"That's all right but I don't want to hear it again. Now go to your room and finish up your homework."

As he walked out of the kitchen he stopped by Derrick. "Don't forget what I said." He didn't have to tell him the rest, Derrick all ready knew if he hurt his mother in anyway Austin was going to come after him with full force.

The kids were now in their rooms and after Jada kissed them goodnight she went back into the living room. Derrick was already sitting on the couch with his books out. He had left her a spot on couch so that she could sit by him. She smiled and sat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. They asked each other questions about the test. After about fifteen minutes he couldn't resist any longer.

"Why didn't you tell me that you had kids?"

"Would you have still came over?"

"Yea, I think so. At least I would have been more prepared."

"Really?"

"Look, I know it's none of my business but where's their father?" Looking up at the pictures on the wall, noticing that not one had a man in it.

She dug her nose back in the book, refusing to answer the question. "He's not here. He doesn't live around here."

As he looked at the pictures he stated, "My mom loves to hang up pictures too. You know the two of you should hook up and do scrapbooks together or something."

"You think."

"Why not, look at these, who took them?"

"I did."

"Maybe you should change your profession."

"You really think so?"

"Yea! These are really good. Do you have more."

"I have a lot more." She opened a hidden shelf within the table and there were hundreds of pictures. He noticed that there were only baby pictures of Gabby, her first two birthdays.

"Why don't you have pictures of Austin and Hannah when they were little?"

"I didn't have a camera then." She blinked. Wow, he noticed that. But she did not lie to him for she did not have a camera then. And even if she did she would not have been able to get them developed.

"Is that your excuse."

The room became so tense. He noticed her hands and they shook slightly while holding on to the picture of the four of them. "I think we are done for the night."

"All ready. I didn't mean to hit a nerve." He stood and stashed his books into his bag.

"I'm sorry, maybe another night."

"It's all right, another night then, I understand." As he walked to the door he stopped and turned in front of her. She walked right into him. "Sorry." He wanted to kiss her, to touch her soft lips but he held back, instead he opened the door and as he walked onto the porch she shut the door behind him. He heard her lock the door, the dead bolt and then the chain.

She finished cleaning and then made her way down the hall to check in on the kids. Gabby was sound asleep while Hannah was tossing and turning trying to get settled in for the night. She kissed them both and left the door with a small crack for light to peer in. She tiptoed to Austin's room. He was still wide awake but turned off the light when she kissed him good night. That night as she lay in bed she thought of Derrick. He had been such a nice guy to the kids and to her as well. She wondered what it would be like if he was apart of them but she knew it would be awkward. Mainly for Austin and Hannah to have a father figure in their life again. Gabby on the other hand had never been around a man except for her papa and Joe. Then she thought of Keith, if he was to ever find her the first thing he would do would be to kill Derrick and then herself. Eventually she knew that if things went on the way they were going she would have to tell him about Keith there was just no way around it. But for now she would just wait and see where they ended up.

                                                                                       *****

It had been a busy week and finally it was Friday, with nothing to do and no one to share it with. He thought about the kids. He knew Seth was getting to be a teenager and his little Bella was getting bigger as well. He thought about the new baby and how it must be walking and talking by now. He took the bottle of Dickel and guzzled the last remaining sip, tossing the bottle into the wastebasket. He had thought of her as well. He missed the smell of her hair, her soft skin and how deep inside she really cared for him but never showed it. She tried to be strong but he knew inside that she was weak. The phone vibrated his side. He was not shocked to see who was calling him for only a selected few called him and that was the members of the cult.

"You got a new one uh." He shook his head. "So what does this one look like?"

"I was driving back from Atlanta and picked up two young girls stranded on the roadside. They say they are looking for a party and maybe some weed or something."

"A party? Uh...with two girls...uumm. I think we can arrange something." He opened another bottle of Dickel. "Sure, take them to the mountain, we will all meet you there in about an hour or so."

The girls were already pretty lit, dancing around the flames as if they were at one of those college bon fires. They were laughing and drinking and didn't really notice that they were the only girls there. Keith started to dance with the blonde, she danced right along and when he pulled her closer to him she went willingly. He took her on the rock and helped her take off her clothes. She did not resist. He made love to her in the moonlight as the others watched. One of the men took her right arm and tightened it with a rope while another grabbed her left arm and did the same. She moaned. "Wait!"

"It's all good baby, hush now." He whispered in her ear.

"But Jenny."

"Jenny's having her own little fun. Do you what her to watch you?"

But she did not answer; she was to busy looking around for her friend. She found her over in the bushes necking with one of the other guys. For a split second she knew that they had made a mistake. For some reason she now feared for her life. He rammed inside of her, tearing her into. She tried to scream but he held his right hand over her mouth. She gave into him and the next and the next. Each having their turn with her. The trees swayed and everything started to spin. She felt humiliated, ashamed of what she had let happen. There was a sharp pain in her rib cage and she could feel the sting, the warmth of her blood as it oozed out. He stabbed her over and over and in the end her eyes fluttered and blood filled her mouth.

Jenny had heard her cry and jumped from the man she was entangled with. He reached for her but was not able to hold her back. She stood in front of the men and they laughed and coaxed each other. She saw the blade of the knife as it repeatedly stabbed her friend. "Please stop, your hurting her." She yelled. But they kept going and going and then their eyes preyed upon her. Without thinking she turned and started to run wildly through the wood, not knowing where to go. She thought she had been running fast but her body was so toxic and was more sluggish than what she had expected. The guy she was necking with reached her first, grabbing her hair she fell backward with a crack to her hip.

As she stood back up to run he tossed her over his shoulder laughing mischievously. "And where do you think you are going?" He carried her back to the middle of the flames. Her friend was now gone. She looked frantically for her but her body was no where in sight. "What have you done with Becka?"

"Becka had to leave." When he tossed her onto the rock four of the men reached for each limb and tied her down. They let her scream, let her beg for her life. They had fun with her while she blocked out everything. She did not want to think about what was going to happen next. She got a small glimpse of the knife as it shimmered in the light of the flames.

That night when he returned home he took a hot shower wiping the blood from his own body. He turned on the nearby radio on the bedside table, It's Not Over by Daughtry was playing. It made him think of her even more and he assured himself that it was definitely not over. He pulled out the needle and in an instant he was out cold.