what is getting homework done?

🌸💫🌸

Today is Wednesday. And even though I just woke up I knew today was going to be better. Not good, not happy, but better. I grabbed a shirt, pulled on a sweater, and put on my pants.

I always met Debby at a small little coffee shop. They supported local artists and on Saturday and Sunday nights they had small bands play. It was her favorite place in the whole world and it was slowly becoming mine. When we where dating it was always our go to place at 2am. I'm still not sure why the shop is open at 2 in the morning.

Everything was clam and quiet when I walked in. I saw Debby but she wasn't alone, she was with Jenna. I hadn't seen her since the day after he left. She called a lot, left me messages, asking if I'm okay and wanting to know how I'm doing. Even though they where basically married, the sudden change in colors hit me the hardest. Probably because it was all my fault. It didn't matter anymore because he was gone and in a way, so was I.

"Hi Josh." Jenna spoke as if we talked only yesterday. I liked it. "It's nice to see you."

I waved and then sat down to wait for something to happen. No one spoke up and it was starting to get awkward. "How are you?" Debby asked me.

It was an everyday thing to ask someone, but it held some weight for me. It was more than the surface topic. It was a scab the people kept picking at and never left it be.

"I'm okay. How art thou?" Jenna snorted and said she was doing pretty good and Debby said the same thing.

Soon we where talking as if he was still here. We where happy. It started to rain, but the three of us hadn't noticed until the waiter made a joke about the weather and how it was good at holding people captive in the shop. We talked about everything that was going on lately. We where at peace.

The day went on but we all stayed in our own world. It was the best time I've had in a while. Sadly as all days, it came to an end and we had to leave. Jenna wished us a good night and Debby kissed my cheek.

⇔

It all happened to fast and soon I was in my apartment taking a shower; and for some reason I always start to question everything when water is falling on my face.

Why was the world so cruel? How are atoms even created? They are so tiny and powerful how does such a thing exist? And then cells, what is even their point they all die anyways much like humans. So then how could they 'live'? And how do skin cells exist? Why does skin have color? Why does skin color matter? Bees aren't even supposed to be able to fly. Yet they do. How do they? Why do they? Why am I still wearing my clothes? Why is my head so messed up? What's the point in life? Why stay alive?

"Oh Joshua, you over think things to much!" Laughed the thing from the other side of the shower curtain.

"Why are you even here? You never show up on Wednesdays. Did you think it would be a great time to just show up?" I stepped out of the shower and onto a towel. I was so cold even fully clothed. It was probably his presence.

"You know why I'm here." He spat. "I love you Joshyyy. Plus it's probably a good thing considering you where taking a shower with clothes. Is that a new trend?" He tilted his head and smiled.

I hated him with all my being, and he hated me. We kept each other alive though. But neither of us wanted me to live.

"I don't want you here. Go away!" My voice was starting to shake and my hands started to sweat.

"Aww is little drummer boy afraid of me?" He grew bigger and bigger and was about to swallow me up, but he stoped and backed away. Like something or someone was arguing with him.

He was afraid.

The very thing that wanted me dead was afraid of something.

But how?

Why?

He didn't say anything as his blurry body turned into smoke and hid behind my eyelids.