The next morning I awoke to a strange hollow inside.

I had grown used to being alone, had long since accepted my solitude as a way of life. I was numb to the loneliness, at least I had been until Scott came along and showed me just how painful it really was. Once I was aware of it, it weighed like lead on my shoulders and around my heart. I really was no one, a name that society forgot or truthfully never had the chance to know. I really was nothing more than a shadow and yet somehow Scott had seen me. Those gorgeous eyes looked at me and not through me. He'd trusted me for no reason even when everything was screaming at him not to, including me.

Why?

Because I know you're worth it, even if you don't think so.

Those words, his voice echoed in my thoughts.

He changed everything and I began to unravel.

I knew it wouldn't be too much longer before I had to move on from that place. Such is the life of a ghost. As the Christmas season neared its peak I doubled my efforts, stocking up for the slower months to come. I stayed away from the area I'd met Scott in for the next few days. I told myself it was for self-preservation, not haunting the same places too frequently, but deep down I knew it was mostly because of him.

I'd dreamt of him every single night since I first laid eyes on him and I knew I was growing attached to the idea of him. I was almost afraid if I saw him again I'd be tempted to hold on and never let go. So as perfect as the area was for a thief like me, I stayed away for his sake. Not that I assumed he'd be back, especially not for me, but just in case.

I tried to get rid of the napkin he'd written his contact information on, honestly I did, but every time I was about to let go I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wouldn't use the information, but just seeing his name... his handwriting... it made me feel a little less lonely.

Pathetic, right? A grown man clinging to a napkin as if it were a friend.

No. I didn't have any friends. I had arrangements of mutual interest with various people, trading stolen goods for meals or haircuts or to be a plus one just for the use of a gym shower, but no friends.

For the first time since my parents had died... I found myself missing someone. I hated the feeling. It clawed at my heart, nagging at my brain and trying to pull me towards the address on the paper, but I resisted. I tried everything possible to stay busy, even to the point of nearly getting caught I'd stolen so much in a single area in one day, but even distracted... I was too practiced to make any major mistakes.

I let a couple more days pass before I dared to return to the shopping center where I'd first seen him. It was busier than I'd ever seen it and I had no trouble sliding in and out of the crowd. I was just beginning to lose myself in the routine of it but then I caught sight of the cafe and I was pulled into memory. Before I could stop myself, I was making my way back into the warmth of that small coffee shop and checking my pockets to make sure I had enough cash for a cup of coffee.

As I waited in line I glanced over at the table where Scott and I had chatted like old friends before reality crashed down. It was empty, despite the crowd, and I hoped it would remain so until I could get my coffee. By chance, the same girl who had been at the register the last time was once again greeting me with a perky smile and an equally perky toss of the dark braid draped across her shoulder. I made my order request and she wrote it on the cup before asking me my name.

I hesitated again, quietly telling her the fake name I'd given to Scott. I wasn't expecting her face to light up and an excited squeak to escape her.

"I thought so! Don't worry, your drink has already been paid for."

I raised an eyebrow, confusion causing me to inch backward just a step.

"He said it was a Christmas present for you."

He. Scott. Of course. The golden man from my dreams was far too generous, and every act of kindness chiseled away at the stone layers that filled my chest.

"I couldn't-" I shook my head trying to fish out money but she just responded with a shake of her own head and motioned me to the waiting area before addressing the next customer behind me.

I didn't understand. Why me? Why would someone as bright and beautiful and ... obviously affluent... waste his time and money on a no one like me?

His words played over and over again in my mind and I almost missed my coffee being placed on the counter in front of me.

I wrapped my cold fingers around it, relishing the radiating warmth as I sat in the same seat that Scott had occupied during our first meeting. I tried to imagine what he was thinking that night. What had his intentions been before he realized my situation?

I sat there long enough to finish my coffee and instead of leaving, I got back in line. I wasn't ready to let go of the comfortable warmth yet and I still had enough change in my pocket. Malory, the cashier whose name I finally read from her golden name tag, seemed amused when I tried to pay again and just shook her head, marking my cup and moving it all along.

I wanted to fight it, to argue that I didn't need anyone's kindness or charity, but maybe I did. Maybe I needed a break, just this once.

The line had cleared while I was grabbing a few napkins and tugging on my gloves and I caught Malory's eyes on me, her face soft and understanding.

I couldn't take it. I hurried for the exit, but her voice made me pause at the door, her words sending my thoughts into overdrive.

"See ya tomorrow, Sullivan."

No. No she wouldn't. I couldn't. So I rushed out the door, needing to put some distance between me and the memories, a certain napkin burning a hole in my back pocket. I wanted to go find him, to just see his face one last time before I disappeared, but I couldn't. I knew it would be too tempting to stay, to risk everything just to see his face from time to time.

I knew better, knew it was impossible, but that didn't make the urge or the ache any less.

I cradled my large cup close to my body, using my coat to try and shield it from the biting cold. I tried not to look around, but I couldn't stop my gaze from wandering every now and then, foolishly hoping for a familiar face and welcoming smile to appear in the crowd, but it never did.

I was too distracted to try and lift anything else, so I made my way back towards my hideaway and my dreams of him.