Disgusted. I felt disgusted. Dirty. That boy had touched me. The memories flooded my mind like a motion picture and I instantly shut my eyes. The tears that I had held back proceeded to escape their cell and form a neat trail down my cheeks.

I slapped both my hands onto my lips to hold back my sobs and took deep breaths. I couldn't draw any attention to myself.  My mother couldn't ever know about what would have taken place. I needed to keep it just to me, just me. No one else. 

He barely looked at me, at school I mean. He acted like nothing ever happened, like he never attempted to steal my pride. The worst part was he knew I wouldn't tell, it wouldn't just put him in trouble but me too. Like a ship, if the back began to flood, we would all sink together.

The sound of people laughing had me rushing to wipe my face. The past few weeks, I'd just find myself crying at school like an idiot. Thoughts of what could have happened sent shivers down my spine and concocted these irrepressible emotions within me. Most times I didn't even notice the tears until they were coming down like a waterfall.

It baffled me. How could he almost do that to me and still sleep well at night. How could he smile in front of everyone and keep up this dumb ignorant front of his? Everyone already assumed he was the one who dumped me and I just didn't know how to handle it.

"Ace." I fiddled with my thumbs under the table, my head was laying idly on the desk with my eyes trained on my hands. "I know you're not deaf Maureen." My thumbs began to move at a faster pace as they entwined in a spontaneous unscripted dance on my lap. What? What did he want now?

A hand gripped my shoulder and in an instance I screamed. Silence. There were just 7 people including me in the classroom. A random girl from another class who was sleeping on two chairs which had been pulled together. Five boys consisting of Joseph, Favour, Michel, Divine and John. Joseph and his entourage of idiots.

I once laughed with these boys. I once threw my hands over Favour's shoulders and forced him to give me a piggy back ride. I once beat John in a game of cards. I once helped Divine with a math test by letting him copy off all my work. I was once one of them.

But now, the tables had turned. These boys didn't have the warm expressions and affection from last year. They looked bored, their eyes hooded. Divine was sat on the table I was one resting on, with his feet on my seat. John was leaning against my chair, causing it to tilt more towards my side. Micheal stood beside John, he seemed miles away, or that was what he wanted everyone to think. Favour, the one whom I was closest to, sat sideways on the seat in front of me picking his nails.

Everything was different now. All five of them were aware of what happened that evening. All six of us gathered around this table had a secret and the boys were here to discuss it. They surrounded me like a pack of wolves to their prey and then something in me snapped.

I slammed my hand onto the table, got up, spun around, as he was behind me and shot a glare at Joseph who in turn glared back. We were hooked in a fierce stare of, while I narrowed my eyes in anger, he looked more confident, not an ounce of remorse.

I wasn't sure how long we went on for but the second the corner of his lips twitched into a smirk, memories of that day flashed before my eyes and before I knew it, my eyes filled with tears and I blinked. Defeat. It reaked in the air. And just like that, I fell back into my seat.

"I'm only going to say this once," My eyes were far away from his, back to my twiddling thumbs. "That night never happened.  If I hear say you opened your big mouth tell pesin, omo it no go good for you o." His transition from literate to pidgin English happened to make his threat even scarier.

The girl at the front of the class yawned and for a second all six of us froze. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and watched her gather her things before exiting the classroom, leaving me all alone.

Suddenly the air seemed to have become thin and my palms began to shake. "You dey hear am so?" Went Divine. I liked Divine the least. He was the most classless, most lazy and least attractive of the gang. He always acted and sounded like trash, something I didn't pay much attention to until this moment.

I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat and muttered, "Attempted rape is a crime." In an instant, all the sitting boys stood up and all six of them squared their shoulders. Then I started shrinking. "What did you say?" Joseph's tone was cold and as sharp as an icicle.

"Talk na!" Divine commanded. This was the modern day definition of bullying.  I, of all the people in this world was now a victim of bullying.  If someone had told me this would happen last year, I would have laughed at then and payed them for their comedic act.

They seemed to be moving closer and the air seemed to be getting harder to inhale. Where wad the oxygen? Why was I getting hotter? "You don mute?" I shrunk again. My chest was tightening, my vision was blurring with tears. Why was this happening?

"Attempted rape bah? You no fit talk again? Mtchew." Joseph gave a little smile at the end and then turned to his boys. "Abeg make we go play ball for field." Then with one final once over, he turned away from me and headed out of the classroom . The others followed in tow, leaving behind Favour.

I was at the brink of transforming into a crying mess, holding my tears back seemed to be the hardest task I had ever been faced with.  "Maureen.  Those guys are dangerous. Do yourself a favour and keep your mouth shut. It's for your own good." And with that final warning, he too emptied out the classroom.

I couldn't let anyone see me this way. So I shot up off my seat, adjusted my uniform and hurried out of the classroom. I headed towards the front gate of the school and then took a wild turn to the right, as it led towards the laboratories. I was pretty sure I could cry there without catching anyone's attention.

I quickly hurried around and on getting to the labs, I noticed countless classes taking place.  I needed to let off this uproar that was building within me. School was already almost over, so the basic technology room would be closed, I thought.

I basically ran into the building area which was along one side of the school corridor, with one end of the corridor being the senior classes and the other end passing the fish pond and leading to the staff rooms. The entrance to the basic technology and technical  drawing (TD) lab comprised of two solid walls. One wall had a gate opening that led to the labs while the other was for the staff.

I crouched in front of the lab gate and like a fountain my tears poured. They fell like a rain storm and trailed down my face like rain drops down a window. I looked pathetic.

I had been molested and I couldn't tell a soul. The worst part was I would have to relieve the torturous memory every single time I saw my attacker, which was on a daily basis. My life was screwed. So I didn't bother wiping away my tears or blowing out my snot, I just cried and allowed my chest to loosen up.

Then I felt a warmth and not the angry grip like earlier, but the soft feathery feeling of a comforting palm. Too ashamed to look up, I let this person pat my back as they cooed sweet nothings into my ear. I knew who it was without look up once and it was surprising that him of all people would come to my aid.

He crouched down beside me and sat on the cemeted dusty floor. "Pretty women shouldn't cry, especially on Monday mornings." I gave a sarcastic laugh. "Mondays should be the only day that actually deserves tears." I snarkily replied. He chuckled and then patted my head.  "Whatever floats your gorgeous boat." Then he took my hand into his and smiled. Just for that split second, that moment, I was happy and I felt like somehow, someday, I could actually be fine. Then we were interrupted.