This was not me. No, this was definitely not the girl my parents raised. Things like this only occurred on the news, I read about them on WhatsApp BCs, I heard about them at talks in church, I did not experience them.  

My life had mostly been very boring. Nothing life changing ever happened. The biggest thing had been my parents splitting up and Joseph asking me out came in close second. Today had trumped them all. 

Who could I tell? Would Mercy understand? How could I bring this up to my dad? Maybe that was why I had subconsciously come here. To Maureen, of all people. Lord I was daft. 

She was in a grey T-shirt and leggings, her eye brows were scrunched up and a hard frown graced her lips. I took it she was not pleased to see me here. 

"What happened?" Her eyes trailed all over my attire and I suddenly felt my cheeks heat up. I was embarrassed. She sounded harsher than I had expected, almost commanding me to present her with a good enough explanation. 

Instead of sugar coating like i usually did, I locked eyes with her and gave a sheepish smile. "You were right," I croaked. Suddenly there was a thick lump in my throat and my eyes started to hurt. "Joseph is no good, I guess."

Crack. 

The wall that held back the various emotions that had swept over me during the incident till now shattered like the Great Wall of Jericho. My legs suddenly felt weak, my head was pounding and my eyes were tearing up all of a sudden. 

Maureen must have noticed my instant change in demeanour because while I couldn't see due to my tear glazed eyes, I could hear the creaking of the entrance gate, I could hear her asking me what had happened but words were the last sound I could allow myself to make. 

The next few moments were a blur. I think we hugged. I think she gave me a glass of water. I think she let me lay down on her sofa. I wasn't sure of anything, I didn't want to be, all I wanted was sleep.

I wanted to lose my thoughts, my feelings, everything and hide in the nothingness that was sleep. 

But my body had other plans. My head ached worse by every second that ticked by, there was this banging at the back of my head, like being slammed repeatedly at a wall. Every time I stopped crying and calmed down, an overwhelming feeling would rush through me and the sobbing would continue. 

It took quite a while for it all to mellow and when it did, Maureen was at my side. She watched me slowly sit up and wrap my arms around myself, I couldn't meet her eye, not once. 

"What happened, Kolupo?" 

I wanted to tell her, I wanted to jump into the story, I  wanted to laugh at how I hid at the sound of the other boys and how Timber was at the tip of my tongue when Joseph fell off the bed. I wanted this to be so easy. But life was hard and we could never always get what we wanted. 

Instead, my eyes began to tear up again and my chest got heavier. Maureen moved from the chair she had been occupying and joined me on the large sofa. 

She didn't hesitate to place a hand on my shoulder and rub lightly. I looked up and at her. Her eyes were warm, her expression screamed 'worried'. We both stayed like that for a while. I embraced the comfort of her presence, her hand on my shoulder. 

Maureen and I shared something in that moment. Familiarity. She had been my best friend since I could recall having any. 

A smile crawled its way onto my lips. 

"I'm sorry." She spoke barely above a whisper. We never apologised this intimately.

"If I had kept the groups promise, none of this would have ever happened. None of these stupid boys would have entered our lives, If-"

"Bro, please don't bring up that stupid promise." 

We laughed. It felt nice. Like when you hold back the urge to pee and that relief that floods your body when you finally do. It may not have been the best analogy but that was more or so what it felt like. 

I mustered up all the courage in the world. 

"I'm sorry." 

She didn't look shocked. Her eyes beamed with amusement. "Kai, must you copy?" 

I was instantly filled with relief and a playful annoyance. Maureen giggled away at her own joke and didn't notice me grab a random throw pillow until it collided with the back of her head. 

It was my turn to giggle as her head bobbed around. Maureen gasped loudly and before I could say 'Min Yoongi' she was beating me with another pillow. 

After what felt like hours but was probably minutes, we both crashed onto the sofa in exhaustion. 

After what felt like hours but was probably seconds, I glance at the beautiful wall clock that hung about the television in this humble living room. 

"I don't want to go home." It dawned on me finally that the day needed to come to an end after all and that the moment we shared would not last forever. 

Maureen and I took our sweet time catching our breaths. 

Maureen and I enjoyed everything that was in that moment. 

Maureen and I understood that we could be Maureen and I again. 

I liked having my best friend back. 

No. 

I loved it. 

When we couldn't longer delay my departure, Maureen walked me to the door. The elephant in the room was now pushing us close to each other, giving no room for either of us to breathe. 

"I don't know what he did to you. But I know how hard it is to talk about it." She bit the inside of her cheek. "But thinking about it is worse, I can vouch from experience. Try to distract yourself, read a book on Wattpad, watch Penny on Mars, just don't let it consume you, like it did me."

She reached out her hand and I noticed she held a mini pack of Haribos. I took it from her.

"Don't let the past consume your present because it has passed."

I couldn't help but scoff in admiration. When did she grow up?

I feigned a sniffle and grinned widely. "I've taught you so much, my mini motivational speak-" I'm cut short by her light slap against my shoulder. 

"Oya, be going home." I laughed lightly and she grinned.

It had been a rough day. I had been the roughest day of my life. Rainy was as right as ever, I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to ever relive any part it. I wanted to believe I could be strong, that an almost attempt to steal my purity was nothing on me. 

I was strong.

Kolupo was strong. 

Kolupo could overcome. 

Kolupo could do anything in the world.

But reality did not have to conform to my delusions. Reality was a brick that fell from the sky without a care in the world, not minding if it killed an innocent soul that roamed the street. Reality had hit me that night. Reality brought me my first nightmare of Joseph. 

Hi!

Just as promised, here is the chapter for this week. 

Unlike most of the others, this chapter was never part of the plan until last week when i published that last one. I really imagined all this taking part in the last chapter which I have come to realise is the longest chapter I have every written, with over 2800 words. I was quite shocked. I think it may be broken down or shortened when I finally come to editing that chapter but as for now, it will remain the long mess that it is.

This chapter, I like to think of it as a bonus. Kolupo shows some real emotions, her first actual break down. I plan for a more deeper one soon, because the stuff she's been through needs a little cry and a warm hug. (Suddenly missing my best friends all of a sudden, haha).

Hope you enjoyed it, if you did,

Vote. Comment. Share.

Kelly,

Xx.