Temper Tantrums At Basketball Hoops

"Hi honey," said my mom over the phone. I already knew what she was calling me for, she didn't have to ask.

"Ma, it's cool, I'm already on my way," I replied before she could continue. "I already told you, I can always pick up the babies now."

               Picking the twins up from school every day became a job I took up for myself. I didn't mind because it gave my mom plenty of time to focus on herself.

              I also kind of avoided her whenever I could, because I didn't want to see that look she always aimed at me without even knowing.

"Yeah, but you're a baby yourself. You don't have to," she replied. "Go hang out with your friends or something."

"My friends are in school, studying," I replied.

"My bad, sorry honey," she replied.

"Alright Ma," I laughed. "I'll see you later."

"I might be home earlier than you think today," she said. "And I'll be making dinner."

"Really?!" I asked, already excited.

Ma's dinner was magical, but a rarity nonetheless. Because she worked so much to support us that so many times, she only came home, kissed us goodnight and blacked out in her room. Many times I found the twins pulling her shoes off and fixing the covers around her. Then climbing onto her bed and falling asleep on either side of her.

"Yeah!" She replied. "Okay, I've got to go. See you later."

After my mom hung up, I pushed my phone into my pocket and grabbed the car keys. I stopped, then looked back and went to smooth out the wrinkles on my bed.

"Damn it!" I said out loud then ruffled the bed again.

According to Ma, I was kind of a clean freak. So this was me trying to prove her wrong.

                 Granted, my room was a regular boy's room without a lot of the mess. A few books, posters and my game console. Fine, it was really clean and maybe way too neat, but she made it sound like I was a freak who couldn't live with a little mess, and I just had to prove her wrong about that.

What if my wife turned out to be messy? Divorce? No fucking way. If I finally ever liked a girl enough to marry her, there was no way we were divorcing.

I wanted what Ma and dad had, there was nothing stronger than that shit. They were true to their vows, and only till death did they part.

It's been seven years since my dad was gone, and I miss him every single day. Rylan and Rylee were too young to remember, but I can't even begin to imagine what Ma feels.

               I shut the door and left the house, then climbed into my most prized possession; my car. One day, I just found Ma smiling at me and standing next to a jeep on my sixteenth birthday. She explained that my dad had actually planned for me to have it from the time I was ten. He was supposed to give it to me when I was of age but because of circumstances, he entrusted Ma to it.

               I just remember sitting inside it and crying like an idiot, and letting my mom hug me till the tears stopped coming. Embarrassing shit, but a boy's got to cry sometimes too.

•••

"Kay!" both kids shout as they ran towards me. I crouched and opened my arms wide just as they crashed into me. Then I lifted them both up.

"How was school today?" I asked while walking us all to the car.

"Rylee failed the test on purpose again!" My little brother sounded a bit too happy for my liking.

"Ree," I lowered them both into the backseat then paused as I looked at her. "What did we say about failing on purpose?"

"To not," she answered, dejectedly. Although she looked like she had more to say as she crossed her arms.

"So why do you keep on doing it anyway?" I asked.

The girl was too smart for her own good, so smart she knew how to get the answers wrong. Kids didn't do that, nor did they even know how to. Not when they knew all the right answers.

"I heard them talking!" she said, sounding worked up and upset. "Miss Brown said that they'd do good to take me up another grade because I'm too smart for my own. I don't want to go. I can't be in a class without Rylan!"

They just had to be the most adorable children I knew. Although they could easily become the most annoying things on earth.

"So that's why?" Rylan asked then went ahead to hug her. "Good girl, you can keep failing Rylee. That way we'll always be together!"

"Boy, if you don't..." I stopped short when I noticed how sad Rylee looked. It meant she was really scared of losing Rylan, even if that only meant he'd be like one classroom away.

"No one's going to take you away from him, okay?" I held her cheek and made her look at me. "Okay?"

"How do you know?" She was right to have her fears when she asked.

"Hey... since when did you stop trusting me huh?" I accused. "I'll talk to them if I have to."

"I trust you," she said defensively. "Okay."

"It'll do you both good if you helped him with his homework, so Ry could keep up. And to study as well," I told Rylee.

"Studying is for losers," Rylan was quick to say. "Not even Ree studies and look at her, she's a genius!"

"Well at least losers get to study in the same class as their genius sisters," I replied.

Rylan groaned. "Fine, I'll study," he said but I had my doubts. Ry was the type of kid who could convince you he was an angel then go ahead to carry out the devil's work the next minute.

"I'm serious Ry, or I'll get 'you know who'," I warned.

The unnamed was Knox. Also known as the only entity in existence that actually scared Rylan to some degree.

"Kay no! I said I'll study!" This time, he sounded more serious. I smiled and ruffled his hair, then closed the door and went to get behind the wheel.

"Okay now give your brother a kiss," I said before starting the car.

I didn't have to tell Rylee twice. She dropped two kisses on my cheek and giggled.

I raised my eyebrows at Rylan who leaned back on the seat and crossed his arms, looking anywhere but at me. When I didn't stop looking, he rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said and kissed my cheek.

I resisted the urge to tell them about Ma making dinner later on just in case she couldn't make it in time. If she did then it would count as a surprise for them.

               I finally pulled out of the driveway.

               "Where's Kit?" Rylee asked. "He stopped coming with you to pick us up. Is he sick?"

               Shit.

              "Yeah uh... he fell sick and needs lots of time to recover," I said even as I was at a loss for words.

                "Oh no!" Ree said. "I'll draw him a picture and you can give it to him."

               Currently, the huge rift (that kept getting bigger) between me and Kit didn't only affect the two of us. It extended to my family too, from the kids to my mom. And I was running out of excuses to give her. Soon it would extend to our friends, unless by some miracle we acted natural when we met.

               "Kaaaay!" She pulled the syllable so much that it sounded like she was whining.

               "Yeah...yeah?" I answered.

               "You'll tell him I miss him right?" She pouted when I looked in the rearview mirror.

               "Yeah, definitely," I said with a false bravado.

               Fucking Kit.

•••

               Ma did actually come home earlier than expected. The twins' reactions were nothing but priceless, and right now nothing could convince them to leave her side.

               I decided to practice some basketball in the backyard in the meantime. I practiced as much as I could before the thoughts decided to crowd my mind.

               I started to miss all the shots I was making. I needed something to take the edge off.

               The more I missed, the more I got pissed off and then the more I missed.

"Argh!" In my anger, I finally put too much strength into a shot and the ball hit the rim of the basket and ricocheted over the fence. "Fuck!" I cussed and kicked the pole while I pulled sweaty curls out of my face.

"I was starting to wonder just how many times you were going to miss before you stopped," said a calm voice from my left.

              "Jesus, fuck, Knox. What are you doing here?" I asked him.

               "Your mom let me in," was Knox's unhelpful reply. "Rylan screamed when he saw me... seriously, what do you be telling those kids about me?"

               I swiped sweat off my brow and stood before him. "That you're the grades fairy. And you tear bad kids apart when you see them."

               I laughed when his face changed. "I'm bullshitting you. I don't have to tell them anything, your ass is horrible with kids."

               "They're little monsters," he said like there was no other truth.

               I took my shirt off and scrunched it in my hands, then sat down next to Knox, folding my knees and facing the hoop. "So, to what do I owe this ungodly visit?" I asked.

               "Something's off about you," said Knox. "Watching that pathetic practice you just had, was just sad."

               "What do you mean?" I asked mostly because I wanted to know if he was on to something.

               "I mean, something's definitely off about how you suddenly got expelled for drugs," he laughed. "Dude, it would be more believable if you were expelled for not being able to keep your dick in your pants. But there's definitely something off about the way you're acting."

"And how is that?" I asked. It was showing already? Was I actually acting weird?

               "Moody-ish," said Knox. "It's like you're brooding."

               "It shocks me every time you start to care about me," I replied. It took a lot for Knox to really care about anyone. Apparently, we managed to have that privilege. (In his own words)

               "You know I've always cared about you, baby," Knox let his fingers dance on my wrist as he looked into my eyes. He could flirt with a goldfish if it was presented to him.

               I pulled my hand away. "Hmm," was the only reply I could think of.

               "So what's really wrong?" He asked.

               "I was expelled."

               "And I'm hot. I can tell you a few more facts if you want to hear them," Knox raised his eyes as if to say 'any time now'. He was really difficult to deal with because he was almost always right. Emphasis on the almost.

               "I can't tell you that yet," I replied honestly.

               "That's much better," he finally said to let it go. "I don't have to remind you that we might all meet up soon, so you might want to improve your acting skills a bit if you don't want everyone asking questions."

               "Yeah I got it," I replied. "Oh by the way, my mom's making–"

               "Dinner, yes I know, she asked me to stay," said Knox. "But I can't. My mom's also making dinner and I won't hear the end of it if I don't eat her food."

               We walked back inside the house and my mouth started to water as the aroma of the food wafted into my nostrils.

               "Goodbye Mrs Wilson," said Knox to my mom. "You're as beautiful as I remember, it was nice to see you again."

               "Boy I saw you last week!" Ma smiled. "You best not be flirting with me Kumar."

               I excused myself and went to take a quick shower, leaving them to talk. Ma probably thought he was an angel, because that's how good he was at switching personalities. He was nothing like an angel, it was even absurd to associate him and the word.

               By the time I was back, Knox was already gone but his words didn't stop ringing in my head. Why did he not miss anything?

               I was still lost in my thoughts when I noticed Ma giving me that look again. I just wish she could stop. I was okay, and that was all.

               "Help me set up the table," she said and all I could think was: thank goodness. Anything that could distract us both.

               "I know you feel like you can't talk to me—" she started.

               "There's nothing to talk about," I said, trying to convince both her and myself.

                "You are not yourself. Are you depressed? It that it? Because I understand–"

              "You don't," I said sharply and stopped myself quickly. "I am not depressed," I said more calmly. "Ma, please..."

               "Fine. Whenever you're ready to talk to the woman who gave birth to you," she said.

              It was one of the side effects of every time my mom and I didn't see eye to eye. She became petty as hell. At least she finally let me go.

               I spent a big part of dinner trying to avoid eye contact with her, making the entire thing awkward.

               Thankfully, the twins were too excited to stop talking. It served as a pleasant distraction. That, and the delicious food.

•••

               By the end of dinner, I was so tired for some reason. So I told Ma that I was going to bed early and surprisingly she didn't argue.

               I pulled my shirt off and plopped onto my bed, cursing the fact that I'd actually outgrown my bed and was almost too tall for it.

               I grabbed my phone and checked through it and there were about five messages. I opened the one from Stacey.

Stace:
Hey ugly beast, I'm waiting for you to come over with a replacement for my mirror ;)

              Stacey labeled me 'ugly beast' because I accidently broke one of the two mirrors in her room. According to me (which was the truth), I underestimated its weight and tried to move it. According to her (which was obviously the lie), I am so ugly that I looked at the mirror and it cracked.

               In her own way, she was just asking me to hang out and I knew it.

Mikey:
Hey man! I'm coming over tomorrow. It's been a while since we video gamed!!! Prepare to get your ass kicked!!!!!!

               Every time Mike texted me, I always questioned his mental health with the number of unnecessary exclamation points he always used.

K:
I can't tomorrow, maybe next time...

               I typed then decided that it was a little mean, considering I was already avoiding everyone. I erased it.

K:
Bring it on, you'll be runnin back to your momma's house after I give you a proper ass whooping.

               I hit send, after a lot of contemplation. It shouldn't have been like that.

               I texted a little more with Stacey and then I told her good night before putting my phone on the night stand.

               When you have a lot of time on your hands, you pick up many habits and hobbies, even things you didn't think you'd ever do. Like going out to purposely look at art.

               I didn't understand why either, but I was getting a little obsessed with art, of almost all forms. Even though I couldn't draw for shit.

I also thought a lot about many things, even if I didn't want to. Schools were having a break soon, River Falls included, so that meant we were going to hang out almost all the time.

                I didn't want to see them, just like how I avoided even simple texts sometimes. Currently when my friends came over, I just couldn't wait for the moment they'd finally leave. Not cool, I know.

When they asked, demanding an answer as to why I was expelled, I told them the exact reason why. I didn't tell them of my suspicions, which I was almost completely confident in now. Kit went completely silent on me. Impossible.

I was tired of talking about my expulsion all the time. When they'd first found out, my friends threatened to burn the school down. And Stacey might as well have been leading the march.

               Kit probably didn't have an opinion. Impossible.

               'Julian, there you are, let's get going.' The thought surfaced again, unbidden.

               That was his name. The boy in shorts, sneakers and a hoodie. He had brown hair and green eyes. He spoke like he attended a private class called manners, conducted by the queen herself. His name was Julian.

               Yeah, that was his name. I sighed. Fucking get out of my head.

•••

Happy pride month my peeps! You are all beautiful in your own unique ways🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈