I Am Groot

               I tried to tell myself that I was sighing out of a harmless human function but this was not the case. Deep down, I knew that I was sighing because the boys and I were going to the movies in a few hours, and not to be the bad friend but I wasn't really thrilled about it. Although for some reason, I wasn't dreading it as much as the last time we met, so there was some improvement in that case. And I suspected it was because I was almost always smiling lately.

               Yes, Julian. Somehow lately, his name was always going to come up somewhere where I was concerned, or wherever my thoughts decided to wander. I still wanted to see my handsome test results. Not because I am so vain that I need the validation from wherever I could get it, but because for some reason, I needed to see for myself that just as he'd said it, he really didn't think I was good looking. Why it was important...I couldn't really put a finger on it.

               I decided not to get into Connor's house where I was picking him and Stacey up because of two reasons. One, was that he's grandmother was overly affectionate and always wanted to talk and by that, I meant it could go on for more than an hour. She always tried to put in a good history lesson, and trying to escape her could prove futile sometimes. The second reason was quite simple, I did not want to take my shoes off.

               It took a little over five minutes and the dynamic duo were walking towards me, wearing matching T-shirts and holding hands. Stacey looked amazing, she always did. And she was wearing the biggest smile on her face, which made me smile too as they reached.

              "You know," I started. "For people who claim to be so platonic, you both act more romantic than most couples." Stacey stuck out her tongue at me and Connor chuckled. "Just tell me the truth, I promise I won't tell the rest."

               "Classic awfully mouthy Uber drivers," said Connor.

               "Hey!" I replied, acting offended. "That's strike two, Connor."

               "Yeah?" He replied with an easy smile. "What happens when we get to three?"

               "I quit."

               "Oh no! We wouldn't want that! Who'll drive us then?"

               "Kit?" I suggested.

               "Kit's acting weird," said Stacey. "Even said he couldn't make it today."

               "You don't say..." I replied, unable to help the relief I felt at hearing that.

               Connor got a phone call at that moment and Stacey continued. "Something's wrong, maybe we should check on him after the movie," she suggested.

               "Uhh..." I swallowed, suddenly forgetting how I could run away from this situation. Thankfully, Connor had my back with this one. He made the briefest eye contact with me, understanding in his eyes as he diverted the attention away from me.

               "Knox says, our lazy asses showing up any time now would be nice."

               Saved.

•••

                 "You guys go get the snacks, I'll get the tickets," I said to the boys when we were all together.

               "I'll come with you," said Liam.

               "Yeah sure," I replied.

               "Yo, how come you never bring Amber-Lee with you?" Liam asked when he fell into step with me. There was a hard pat on my shoulder before he slung his arm around my neck.

               "What? Do you like her?" I asked him because he'd totally piqued my interest. If he did then it was either going to be the cutest thing or it was going to be a total disaster. Because they were both shy as fuck, for Liam at least when it came to girls. I couldn't even begin to imagine how he would make the first move, because I knew for sure that Amber-Lee wouldn't.

               "Just saying," Liam said, unable to hide the blush through his extremely pale skin. "You should bring her along."

               "Interesting," I said. "I'll definitely ask her the next time."

               I barely noticed the usher getting our tickets as I handed her the cash. All I could tell if someone put a gun to my head to describe her would be dark hair, and if they shot me after that, then so be it, because like I said, I barely noticed. (Very unnatural Kayden behavior). Oh and dimples, she definitely had dimples.

               All I could make out was that she kept trying to make eye contact with me, and normally, I wouldn't let an opportunity like that go, but lately all I could think about was something I tried very hard not to admit; my thoughts were constantly filled with other things and those things did not leave much room for anything else.

               After thinking she would get the hint and stop trying to flirt, the usher brushed a finger over my hand when we were leaving, at the moment she handed the tickets to me. Knowing myself, that would have definitely gotten my attention in the past, but since recent times, it did nothing to me, which made me, question further exactly what was wrong with me.

                Liam broke the silence first as we walked to the other guys. "Yoo dude, she was totally checking you out!"

               "I noticed," was my reply. I had noticed Liam acting like he wanted the earth to swallow him up during my interaction with the usher, he really was afraid of girls, it was a phase he never outgrew. Maybe girls just made him so nervous he'd much rather sit in a corner by himself. Which seemed so unlikely because if you saw Liam for the first time, it wouldn't be difficult to group him with the bullies. He looked scary mean to a lot of people, which also made girls think he was just evil and unapproachable. Unless you were Stacey. She made him get used to her by force.

               With all his nervousness earlier, it shocked me that he noticed that much about the usher. "You should have asked for her number bro, she was totally into you."

               "Yeah...not interested," I managed to say nonchalantly.

               "Bro...Kayden- the Kayden, not interested? In a female? And one that actually flirts with him...bro, are you dying?" He asked with a straight face.

               I could swear to God that I'm not as bad as these guys make it seem.

               I scoffed and didn't answer as we approached our friends. How was I supposed to answer such a question after all? It didn't make sense, not to Liam and not to me either. Not the 'if I was dying' part, but the me not being interested part...yeah that was not me for sure.

•••

               By the time we settled in for the movie, Mike's popcorn was already halfway done and he grabbed mine from my lose grip, replacing it with his and quickly making sure to sit far away from me so that I wouldn't be able to grab it back.

               I sent him a death glare and watched him smile while helping himself to my popcorn. Then he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

               "Bro fuck you," I said and let it go. I'd get him another time for that one.

               The first thing I thought about when I settled down was that Julian and I should really hang out at the movies sometime. I made a mental note to ask him about it when the timing was right. Then it hit me that if I was given the option at this moment, to be here with Julian or with my friends, deep down I knew that I would ditch my friends in a heartbeat. And that was part of everything that was confusing me lately, I didn't know what to make of it or whatever it was for sure. There was no direct answer and it frustrated me to no end.

               The movie started and I paid attention for like probably the first nine minutes, and then it was just a downward spiral of Julian themed thoughts. Jesus this boy again...

               Julian loved Groot, and just because of that simple fact, I found myself doing a lot of in depth thinking about the character. He was the plausibly the only character I could really focus on the entire time as I tried to understand everything I could about the little tree monster. Or little tree alien if that was more accurate.

               At one point, Stacey poked my arm with her elbow and made a hushed remark. "Bro, Zoe Saldana is so fine though..." she said while more popcorn found its way inside her mouth.

               I'm not even so sure if I heard her right though. So I just made an agreeable sound and said nothing else.

               "You okay?" She asked, sounding a little skeptical.

               "I'm calm," I replied with extra injected enthusiasm to make sure she wasn't suspicious enough to ask any more questions.

               Groot minutes later, (because if I didn't already know the characters, that would be the only character I would know), my phone vibrates and I almost jump with the anticipation that it is a text from Julian. To my slight disappointment it wasn't. Okay fine, to my huge disappointment, it wasn't him. Argh. I don't know the last time I was this frustrated, and for such a little reason.

               When the movie was done, I noticed that I did a lot of nothing in regards to paying attention to the movie but so much towards thinking Julian thoughts. Thinking Julian thoughts...it was a very close to accurate way to describe a day in my life lately.

               Everyone was talking about the movie, but all I could offer was nods here and there and a very whack comment about Groot because that is almost all that I noticed in the movie.

                "You seem distracted," said Liam after noticing that I might not have been on the same page with everyone after all.

               "No, I'm not," I replied quickly.

               "You don't have to get defensive about it, you dumbfuck," he replied, bringing his face closer to my phone to see what I was doing.

               Liam was then distracted by Knox putting a finger under his chin. "You look good Liam," he just said randomly.

               "You shut up, and get away from me," he said and took three steps away from Knox. Knox smirked and took three steps towards him. 

               It was the perfect opportunity for me to make my escape. I explained to Mike, Stacey and Connor that I had to go while Liam and Knox continued to bicker. I had to go pick up Rylan and Rylee from their friend's birthday party, then go see mom.

              We said goodbye and I left.

•••

               "My kisses first," I turned to the twins and said. To my surprise, without question, Rylan left a kiss on my cheek before Rylee could.

               "Ry you're acting weird today," said Rylee before giving me my kiss. "Is it because Rosa called you her boyfriend?"

               I cocked an eyebrow at that, and when my eyes met Ry's, he firmly shook his head several times. "No..." he said like the horrible liar he could be when nervous.

               "Did you guys have a great time?" I asked.

               "It was awesome!" Ree exclaimed. "More than awesome!" Ry added. "But why are we stopping at the mad egg? We already ate."

               "We're getting something for mom," I replied.

               "We're going to see mom?" Rylan asked. The cutest children in the world asked me as obvious happiness swam in their eyes. I loved them so much.

               I smiled and nodded. "Just one sec," I said, leaving them in the car to go pick up the food. I'd called earlier and made the order, which made it all easy because now it was ready to pick up.

               Mom looked dejected when we got to the hospital. It broke my heart to see her like that. If the kids noticed, then they didn't really show it. They ran to her excitedly and jumped around her till she lifted them each in the air and kissed them, then hugged them, all the while feigning a smile. One that I could see through clear as day.

                I hugged Ma for the longest time, either of us refusing to let go. It felt like she was shaking or maybe not. My heart broke into a few more pieces. "Bad day?" I asked her.

               She nodded into my chest without saying a word. Rylee and Rylan joined in on the hug and her hand went to stroke her babies on the back.

               "Let's get you home," I told her because I hated seeing her like this.

               "No... I'll get home later," she objected. "It's just...there's a lot of people dying today." Tears spilled out her eyes and she quickly wiped them. "It happens. It's sad but...I can take it."

              "It's okay mama," said Rylan. "We can help you bury them if you want. Right Ree?"

               Ree didn't answer because she was crying a little too, and when Rylan saw it, he couldn't take it. "Don't cry Ree! Please," he said while wiping her tears away. "Okay?"

               "Okay," Ree answered and sniveled. "You too, mama."

               Mom smiled and wiped her eyes again, chuckling a little. "Okay."

               "I'm going to create a cure to every sickness when I grow up, that way, everyone will be okay!" Ree said happily and with determination.

               Rylan wasn't so convinced, he furrowed his eyebrows. "But if they aren't sick, then mom won't have a job. Let's keep them sick!"

               They carried on arguing back and forth, and I could tell by the look on Ma's face that they had definitely cheered her up. I was glad.

               Surprisingly, at that moment, I thought about the person who sent her flowers, and wondered where they were now. If he could just hurry up with the wooing process so that we could see whether he was good enough for her or not, it would really help a great deal. I didn't think I would be thinking that but now, here I was, holding my mother in my arms with nothing but the burning need to see her happy.

•••

               Almost after the entire weekend, Julian still hadn't texted me. There was no communication whatsoever between the two of us, and it is normal for friends to not talk to each other for days...a day or two. It's something that just happens, but we haven't spoken in a while.

               Yes, it was bugging me. I knew that it was as easy as texting him, but I wasn't about to do that. Here was the problem, I don't know why I just couldn't bring myself to. I know that my reply was curt and didn't leave any room for a reply but I still wanted him to, and he didn't. I wasn't irritated, but that didn't mean he couldn't just say hi or reply something...anything.

                I did say I had a thing with the guys but he hadn't even left a single text. And now that the thing with the guys was finished, there still wasn't a text. What is wrong with him? With me?

               I decided then I didn't really need to dwell on it, and so I tried to distract myself and maybe go to sleep without continuously looking at my phone and waiting for him to text. I looked up at the ceiling and decided to close my eyes until I drifted off. I was tired anyway. The day had taken its toll on me.

               Guess what? I failed miserably.

Me:
I am Groot.

               I looked at the text after five minutes, trying not to cringe and refusing to un-send it. Ten minutes later and he still didn't reply. I weighed several options.

               And so with my heart in my throat, I called him. And waited.

               "Hmmm..." Ju answered and when I heard his voice, I took a moment and paused.

               His voice was thickly laced with a scratchiness that could only come from sleep. Fucking hell. He didn't have to make it sound like that. It suddenly felt a little warmer in the room.

               "Kay...did you butt-dial me? Hello?"

                Jesus freakin'... "Uhh..." I cleared my throat. "Hey, uh... did I wake you?"

               "No, I mean...yeah you did, but it's fine."

               "You ain't usually asleep at this time, you tired?"

               "A little," he replied. "My dad was sort of apologizing...making it up to me. And somehow we went out and I ended up becoming the third wheel. Sorry, long story."

               I chuckled. "I don't mind." I just want you to keep talking.

               "I'll tell you all about it in person," he said.

               That voice though.

               "You didn't text me the entire weekend," I said before I could keep my mouth shut. There was a pause before he answered.

              "You didn't text me either."

               "Your voice...I mean...will you come over tomorrow?"

               "Can I come over the day after that?" He asked. "I don't want to have to leave abruptly when I really miss you."

               My chest started to pound harder. It's harmless. Relax. I tried to tell myself. Would he have said this if he wasn't so sleepy?

               "I really miss you too, you know."

               "Huh...really?"

               "What's that supposed to mean?"

               "Nothing," he said sounding innocent. "Also... there's something you need to know."

               He sure knew how to get me excited. "What?"

               "See you the day after tomorrow," he said and the line went dead.

               I bit my lip, smiling like a fool in the darkness. Could tomorrow just finish quickly?