How To Escape Impending Doom, And Sometimes, Awkwardness

I guess I was right when I thought Kayden wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore. Things like this are always bound to happen. I knew it was a mistake the moment I encouraged him to kiss me. I knew that wouldn't end well, it was a low feeling in my gut that I pushed away simply because my desire for him had gone over the roof.

Most stupid thing I ever did.

More than a week, and no text, no call, nothing but an annoyingly deafening silence. A whole bunch of nothing. I felt disgusting. I shouldn't have liked it as much. I shouldn't have loved it. Maybe I should flush it out of my system, then try to repair what we had...but I couldn't just bring myself to make the first move in this situation that was very much caused by me.

The fact that Kayden hadn't reached out either just confirmed the fact that our relationship was in shambles and he didn't want to fix it. That wasn't fair because I wasn't reaching out either but I wanted things fixed as badly as possible.

I keep telling myself that I was creating something with Kayden that was rare, but I began to wonder if that whole thing was because deep down I was hoping I was going to kiss him one day.

I want to be friends with him, probably more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. But at that moment in his room, I wondered if that was the lie that I used to hide the truth, that I would be thrilled if more happened.

I couldn't tell what he was thinking the whole time as I was leaving because he wouldn't talk either. God, he probably hated me now. In fact, I was almost completely certain that he did.

I was thinking so much that I became unaware of my surroundings, and that's when I bumped into someone and pain shot up my nose. My hand immediately flew to my nose and squeezed like that would stop the pain. To be honest it made it better. With teary eyes, I made out Andre through the blur. "How is it that I can bump my nose against someone as short as you are?" I asked him.

Andre replied by saying, "Have you considered the fact that you are just as short?"

The look I gave Andre was my most practiced condescending look, at least I hope that's what it came across as. I folded my arms across my chest. "You wish," I said with a lot of forced contempt, refusing to listen to his reason and letting him win.

Andre tilted his head a little to the left like he had remembered something, then asked, "So what's the serious thing you want to talk to me about?"

The moment Andre's words computed, my guard immediately went up. Have you ever said something that you really mean, to someone, and when a moment such as this one arises, you just want nothing to do with it anymore?

I changed my mind there and then because the timing couldn't have been more horrible.

"How do you know it is serious?"

Andre did that thing with his mouth like he was thinking it over. "You asked to talk to me, my lord, without making a joke, and you've been avoiding me ever since then," he said matter of factly.

"I wasn't," I answered much too quickly, jumping to my defense. "It's just that I've been busy." (Knowing fully well that Andre knew there was absolutely nothing that could have me busy.) "I had to help mom, you know...and..."

Andre chuckled. Then he nodded thoughtfully and came closer. "So, is now a bad time?"

There was no way I could do this, so I took a few steps back and changed my mind at that moment. Maybe I didn't want to talk to Andre after all. "About that, Andre my love, I can't even remember what it was I wanted to talk about." I lied through my teeth.

Again, Andre did not fight me on the issue. He just nodded and said, "Yeah, I knew that brain of yours wasn't good for much...maybe you should cut your hair, you know, give your head some sun. I heard it's good for the brain."

"What does my hair have to do with any of this?" I asked defensively, as he made it a point to ruffle it, then made his way away from me. Probably going to do whatever it was he was going to do before he unceremoniously bumped into me.

I didn't have him fooled, not even for a second, but that was his way of telling me that I could talk to him whenever I wanted. Andre probably learnt to speak Julian before I could even talk, but by knowing that little bit, I guess I speak Andre pretty fluently too.

•••

It didn't take me long to find my mom because she was suddenly walking towards me, her face brightening into a smile right after seeing me. Always thrilled to see me, she came to a stop before me, then pulled my cheek softly. "Is everything alright Jules?"

"I was looking for you actually, mom," I said a little sheepishly.

"You were?" Her eyes widened, and there was no denying the surprise in her voice. Yes, mom, keeping away from you does not mean I do not love you.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask something. Uhh, could we invite the Johnsons for dinner?" I asked, fully conscious of how my voice sounded because never did I ever think I would be asking for this. My mother on the other hand, smiled very suggestively.

"Oh, your father thought you and Katey were getting along quite well," she replied with a very approving look on her face. She really wanted there to be something between Katey and I. "That's why, isn't it?" She then went ahead to give me the side eyes that indicated she wanted spicy details from me. I do love my mother, but I still cringe every time she gets like this.

I thought my unresponsiveness concerning her questions was enough to let her know that there was really nothing there. It was very obvious, and yet she was clueless.

"You like her, don't you?" She egged on.

Wow.

I inclined my head, trying not to cringe a little more. To her, it probably looked like I was suddenly shy, and so to her, yes would be the answer I never uttered. Inside, it was confusion. Not confusion if I liked her or not, I was sure I didn't. It was confusion for why I was doing something I obviously didn't want to, and coloring it the opposite.

My mother's excitement bubbled over, clapping her hands very quickly and inaudibly. She was so happy. "Alright, I know just what to do. I'll talk to Olivia, and tell them not to make plans later on."

She sounded very much satisfied with herself. And that was that. The next series of events would become of my own making and I'd have no choice but to go with the flow.

•••

All because of one kiss... was what I was thinking when Katey wiggled her eyebrows at me from across the table later that night. I first looked at her in confusion, then for some reason quickly shot my eyes to her dad, who sat quietly listening to the casual conversation on the table.

Our moms had fallen into a talk about a particular new car model they both fancied. I don't know about Katey's dad, but I knew my mom would have that particular car by morning. She didn't have to ask for it.

I did not dare to clear my throat and bring any attention towards me and Katey as I tried to deflect her innuendos. At least I thought that was what they were. Although there was something different, this time, she didn't seem as expressive as the last time and actually kept mostly to herself most of the time. She was probably on her best behavior.

Dinner was indeed a strange experience.

Here's another reason why this dinner was strange; our mothers went from talking about the car they liked so much, to my mom's voice getting a little agitated the more they talked on. And here's why... Katey's mother, Olivia, seemed to be on a mission ever since they arrived. Trying to get my dad's attention. My dad didn't seem to notice, or acted like he didn't. It was hard to ignore because Olivia took the conversation and forced it skirt around sensitive waters...like sex. 'Inappropriate dinner subjects'. All the while, my mom continued to fume with every passing second.

You'd have to know my mother really well to understand how gradually her mood was shifting. By the time I was starting to notice, my dad must have already noticed seeing how he was trying really hard to steer the conversation away from that topic. The only people that seemed oblivious were Katey and her father.

We sharply turned our heads unanimously when mom slammed her palms flat on the table, making some of the cutlery clink loudly. I saw what happened, she snapped when Olivia touched my dad's hands and tried to make it look like an accident. I really doubt my mom is too thrilled to have them here right now.

"Oh, is anything the matter love," Olivia asked, feigning innocence.

"Excuse me," my mom answered and wiped her mouth, getting up from her chair angrily and walking away. My dad followed after her immediately. I always wondered what would happen if men didn't go after their upset wives when they walked away. It's cute, but say...WW3?

Olivia turned to me directly after a beat and smiled, like she didn't just cause whatever had just happened. "Julian dear, how long did you say until you are finished with school?"

Fuck you, bitch. Is what I should have replied. It is what I wanted to reply, but to keep the peace, I replied, unable to return her smile. "One term left. You'd have remembered that if you weren't so...distracted."

Mr Johnson sent me a quizzical look. Poor man. She probably had him completely wrapped around her finger.

A short while later, my parents approached the table, my dad's hand on the small of my mom's back. It was my best chance to escape the pending awkwardness. "I'm going to show Katey my room!" I said suddenly, getting up.

Katey looked confused at my sudden mention of her name but got up and played along nevertheless. Thank little mercies.

I didn't exactly wait for a reply as I headed straight for the stairs, Katey following close behind. "Julian wait!" I heard her say behind me but I didn't stop walking till we got to my room. "Are you angry?" She asked after closing the door softly behind her. Her eyes did not wander anywhere about the room and I figured it's because our rooms looked really similar, just that mine, was a lot less earth-tone colors.

Right on the mark. I was actually really angry, she just realized it before I did. "For a second there I didn't think you wouldn't betray me."

Katey smiled. "I couldn't wait to get away. Mom was doing that bullshit she always does. I'm really sorry about her behavior, it's really embarrassing... I..." she looked down, unable to finish her sentence.

It was the first time I started to look at Katey differently. Like there was more to her than just that girl I met because our families were starting to get close. She actually seemed pretty upset, and I wanted to hear exactly why, if I ever found an opening to ask.

We both carefully sat on my bed, like two people on the verge of being friends, but unsure of how to go about it. Especially considering our encounter the last time we met.

I heard a soft sniffle come from her. "Katey...is everything alright?"

"Why?" She asked quickly. Defensively and grumpily. It might have been nothing but my heart went out to her.

"Well, you barely said anything during dinner. And yet you were quite chatty the last time we met. You have not even suggested anything sexual towards me, and then there's the undeniable fact that you are crying. They are clearly not tears of joy."

She chuckled at my last statement.

"I hate her so much," she said, or managed to get out. Because right after saying that, the tears that had welled up in her eyes just fell. "My mom..." she sniffled.

I was not expecting that. And maybe anyone who saw this scenario would think that I was probably just being a good listener, but I did not respond because I was not expecting that. People like Katey wore their hearts on their sleeve, so they'd share anything they felt inside if they felt like it. Even if it sounded really personal.

"My mom...I saw what she did, I was aware the whole time," she started. "Because with every man she comes across, is a new challenge, a new person to make fall deeply in love with her, just because she can. And that does not matter if that man is taken or not."

"My dad won't fall for it," I said. I dare any woman to take his attention away from mom. There's no one my dad loves more than her.

"You'd be surprised."

Such a reply should be insignificant, but it was the way she said it. It had me thinking again even if I was so sure.

"And you know why she does it?" Katey asked rhetorically. "Just because she wants to prove that she is more attractive than I am."

"Katey she's your mother!" I said in utter shock.

"You don't think I know? She's my mother but to her I'm just that end result to one of her endeavors. She took it too far with my dad, and had me as a result. It's why she had no choice but to marry him. And as soon as I come of age, I'm in this constant competition with my mother about who grabs more attention, who looked better, how many men did you make want you this week... let me just count...no, you win mom, more men wanted you this week, can we now get back to the part where you fucking do motherly things?"

Katey was fuming, and I didn't know what to do, so I kept listening.

"I don't really like to indulge her when it comes to her behavior, but sometimes I get self conscious and feel like proving a point, so I do stupid things...like try to get into your pants," she chuckled bitterly. "Oh that really pissed her off."

"So you can't have people your same age either?"

"I can. But she can't. So I use it to piss her off from time to time," she smiled.

Your mother is sick. I so badly wanted to say. "Wow," I said instead.

"Yeah. I don't want to be like her...I really don't."

"Then don't do the things she does-"

"I just told your dumbass--"

"My dumbass got the point, but you need to find a way to stop," I racked my head for anything I could use. "Tell me something you really want. In this context."

"Oh, uhh, I really want to meet a guy and fall in love, like a classic fairytale, and I don't want to have to work for it. That would be nice," she says with dreamy eyes.

"Then every time you get self conscious or confused and are about to do what she does, remember that you're pushing what you want further away, and following in her footsteps wouldn't be worth it anyway."

Katey listened with everything she had, and by the time I was quiet, she looked like an idea bulb had lit up in her head. She nodded with a serious expression. "I think I'm going to do just that."

We talked so much that I didn't realize that I was upright leaning on the headboard with Katey's head on my chest and hands wrapped around either side of me.

"You didn't start to like me at least, did you?" She asked.

"Don't worry about it, I'm not into–"

Pump the brakes on that one, where the fuck was I going with that? "I don't think I can start to like someone after just one encounter." Liar.

"I'm not lying," I blurted out.

"Don't worry, I won't make you hang for it," Katey replied nonchalantly. And this moment was when I decided that I liked talking to her.

It didn't take long before my mom opened the door this time around. Her famous head-peek taking full effect.

"Aww," my mom said, causing me to re-analyze our arrangement on the bed. "You two are so cute!"

Yeah we probably looked that way. But adults are so bad at reading kids like they'd never been kids themselves.

"Katey dear, I'd come to tell you that your parents are ready to leave," she continued. "But I could convince them that Andre will drop you off a little later if you want to spend more time here with Jules."

Katey nodded vigorously, smiling at my mom. "I do want that!"

She nodded in response and left, leaving the door ajar.

"I want to ask you something," Katey said all of a sudden. "Your mother is really nice, by the way."

I didn't reply to that, but she wasn't wrong. "Go ahead."

"Can I tell my mom I'm dating you?"

"What?"

"No, listen, I think that way, she'll leave me alone. I just know it will do something. Something good. And you don't have to do much, just acknowledge the fact that I'm your girlfriend, or pretend girlfriend." I must have not looked convinced. "Please?"

I sighed. There was no harm in what she was saying, but...

"And when do they find out the truth?"

"It's just for now, your own parents don't even have to know."

Okay, that actually made it a lot more convincing, so I agreed. Under the condition that she owed me one.

After getting what she wanted, Katey snuggled up closer to me. "Do you think any guy would actually like me? Not for any other reason but just me? I don't think that could actually happen."

"Katey, you know how you called me a dumbass earlier?" I asked.

"I'm not taking it back!"

I laughed at her quickness to get defensive. "Yeah, well, I'm starting to think that's a term more suited for you, for thinking that way. I'm not taking mine back either, dumbass."

Contrary to what my feelings were before the night began, I was actually glad we invited Katey and her family over. Things went a little differently but my dad was weirdly right, she was pretty decent.