Spider Sex: Into The Multi-verse Of Nervousness

"Did he say what was so urgent Kil?" I asked after my bodyguards started back towards home. What was a very bright day was turning out to be dreadful because of the bad feeling I had deep down in my gut.

"Uh, no," replied Killian. "He just wants you home...says he has to talk to you."

I hoped to high heavens that this wasn't another show of his overprotectiveness. I hadn't been out for more than three hours and he already needed me back within his fortress? After doing everything by his book? I wouldn't lie, I wasn't a fan.

The ride back was quiet, or if it wasn't, I wouldn't know. I was very distracted due to a number of things. I was smiling to myself without realizing it immediately and then sighing when I caught myself. I didn't know that a hug could feel so good...or so short.

Something was definitely happening to me, and the more it confused me, the more I pushed it at the back of my mind. Maybe I didn't want to understand it yet but it felt inevitable. So I told myself I'd get to it eventually.

               I easily forgot about Kayden as we drove through the gates.

               Even the air around the house didn't feel right. All I wanted to do was get over with it, so I went straight ahead to find him, only to find that my dad was already waiting for me. He paced back and forth in the large space with his hands held behind his back.

               My dad stopped when he spotted me, then unfastened his hands and cleared his throat. He scratched his stubble either absentmindedly or nervously, I couldn't tell which one. "Julian, have a seat," he said.

               I hated that voice. It has always been the harbinger of every fight we had. It was all I needed to hear to know that this would end in a fight. Whatever the reason was.

               Maybe he was daytime drunk. I don't really believe people can actually get drunk during daytime. I know, it's stupid but I can't just bring myself to believe it's possible. It's something I would have to see for myself first then. I sat down like he asked, still not saying a word.

"Where were you?" I heard him ask and thought to myself, this again.

It felt like a trap because I was sure he knew where I was. Or if he wanted to be adamant about it, he could just ask Killian.

               "You know that, dad, I was at the art show, then at a diner." I shrugged and acted like deep down anger wasn't bubbling inside me.

               "Do you know how dangerous that was?" He asked, his hands were back behind him and all I was left to look at was his broad back under his suit, rigid with tension.

"Being inside a diner? Gee...I had no idea," I replied calmly just to see if it would anger him.

My father sighed like I was a child he had to put up with when it came to times like these. "Who is he?" He asked as he walked to a table and put his hand inside an envelope, retrieved its contents and extended a picture to me.

There was that familiar coiling in my gut as I took it. A few seconds later, I confirmed the dreadful feeling because in the picture, I saw myself and Kayden sitting with food in the middle of us at the diner. The picture was taken from the outside because Killian and Gary were in the shot too, although they were talking to each other. I could not believe my eyes. I closed them and opened them again, praying it wasn't true.

"You had me followed?!" I raised my voice in shock but he didn't answer me. "Dad, are you serious right now? Why would you—"

"Who is he?" He insisted. "This could be dangerous, apparently you both left the art show before it was even properly—

"Because he's black?" I yelled. "That's why this could be dangerous?!"

               What fueled my anger was the fact that he didn't answer my question, which obviously meant he was thinking along those lines if not worse. I hated that. I hated it so bad that people could think like that, and so very annoyingly my dad. Someone I have a lot of respect for. I couldn't believe it.

               "Say it to my face dad! Is that what you think—

              "Julian, no—"

               The rest of the words sounded distant, because I walked out on my dad after that. I wasn't listening to anymore of that shit.

               I sat at the edge of my bed for so long just thinking, trying to keep calm. My fists supported my chin as I thought about several solutions. And just to spite him, I left. I got up, found my car keys and drove away before he could even have a say about it, before anyone could stop me.

               For a long time, I sat alone in one of the benches at The Grand Hall. I wasn't looking at the piece of history right in front of me at all. Although it seemed like I was.

               The person who sat right by me, forced me to snap out of my thoughts and turn to them.

               Andre wasn't looking at me though, he was staring at the cube-like piece of history before both of us now.

               "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

               "Same thing you are," he replied and looked like he was prepared to sulk for hours to come.

               "Getting away from my dad?"

               "Yeah," he shrugged. "I might or might not have started a fight with him."

               I raised an eyebrow.

               "Which your mother stepped into and prevented from possibly turning physical. She told me to go cool off, so here I am."

               "How'd you know where to find me?" I didn't need the answer to that, the man practically raised me...if anyone knew me inside and out, it would be him.

               He shrugged anyway, and I noticed the little smirk he was trying to hide. "Lucky guess, my lord."

               It wasn't a lucky guess, more like a careful conclusion of my whereabouts. And he said it like he was hiding something.

               "Has dad always been this protective?" I asked. "Seems unnatural."

               "Not always," replied Andre. "Let's just say circumstances forced him, but that's for him to tell you. Not me."

               I was still frustrated nonetheless, continuously tapping my foot on the ground as my brain refused to conjure up sensible answers.

               "What happened Andre?"

               "I can't tell you that my lord, forgive me," he replied.

               I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, thinking about whether I should bring it up with my dad. Of course after my being mad at him blew over.

               What could have possibly happened? Did someone threaten him? Was someone out to get him? Me? Why couldn't he tell me? Even after I asked, I still believe he wouldn't tell me what it is. But I was tired of being forced to live like I had a target on my back.

               We spent the rest of the evening in what could have really passed as a sulk. We sort of shared the same energy the entire time, and in its own way, it was comfortable.

               I was itching to bring up why Andre started a fight because of me. He did that a lot and it always sparked some sort of fear within me because I didn't want my dad to do something stupid.

             A long time later and I was so sure Andre could read my thoughts.

               "My lord?" I looked over to him then immediately facepalmed myself inside my head for responding to the title. "I need a ride back."

               "After you promise not to start a fight with my dad again," I replied.

               "I can't promise that, my lord."

                "Then I sure hope you're feeling energetic," I replied. "Because you're walking home."

               Andre got up and moved a little distance away from me. He then stopped and dangled my own keys before my face. "Funny you should say that."

               Reflexively my hands moved quickly to my pockets before I turned sharply back to him. "Hey!"

               Andre smiled. "Better get to the car fast...otherwise I sure hope you're feeling energetic."

•••

               My absence seemed to keep my dad awake. He was pacing again about by the time Andre and I made it back to the house after surprisingly not even calling once. He didn't say a word, but I saw the relief on his face, as I coldly brushed by him. It made me feel a little guilty, but I wouldn't cave. I owed that to myself.

               I suddenly felt like I lived a really lonely life with a few people to make it worthwhile. And the latest addition to that was him, Kayden. The one thing my brain decided was the most important thought.

               A text from him was waiting for me when I got back up to my room. It cheered me up more than anything could at the moment.

Kay:
hi

               It was delivered close to thirty minutes ago. And I was slowly forgetting my bad mood. A lot of it was credited to Andre. Most of it actually. And now this.

Me:
look at that, you keep your promises

               He sent a few laughing emojis and I watched the three dots that showed that he was typing.

Kay:
a man of my word
you good though?
seemed important earlier

               I wasn't expecting that.

Me:
everything is fine. i'm okay

Kay:
cool

          As I tried to think of what to text back, Kayden started typing and sent another message.

Kay:
i'm from this party...just did it with a hot chick bro. intense.

              I frowned at every part of that sentence.

Me:
could you stop doing that?

Kay:
what? partying hard? doing it with hot chicks?

Maybe.

Me:
calling me bro

Kay:
:) i'm just getting used to it, it's me acknowledging we're friends

Me:
use something else, i'm going to take a shower

               I dropped my phone on the bed and walked away from it, towards the bathroom. Where I would take the shower and pretend not to think about the boy who was texting me at the moment.

               Why did Kayden manage to always get me excited? Even if I was in a bad mood, I'd still be ecstatic to talk to him. Maybe it's because he's the only person I can hangout with at the moment. Because what else could it be?

Kay:
i'm going to find some orange juice

               I saw the text after my quick shower but still took a while to open it. I pretended to look into empty space and put my mind away from my phone, but it was so stupidly pathetic I couldn't stop thinking about it. Relief came in the form of another text from Kayden.

Kay:
are you mad

               Sort of. For some reason.

Me:
no... why

               Wow Julian. Not very two-faced of you. I was mad at him for things I shouldn't have been mad at him for.

Kay:
don't know...what are you doing tomorrow?

Me:
a bunch of things.

               I wasn't about to admit to him that my sometimes controlling mother had declared a week ago, that I was hers tomorrow.

Kay:
the day after that?

Me:
nothing

Kay:
come over

               My heartbeat spiked as my stomach tightened into a ball of nerves. I hesitated to reply.

Me:
what?
i mean...you're sure?

Kay:
why wouldn't i be sure

               Maybe because it was too good to be true? Me, going over to Kayden's...just like that. I'd go out with Killian...but I'd tell him not to tell my dad. I knew he wouldn't, it was perfect.

Me:
i don't know

Me:
spiders have reproductive organs but they don't really couple them to mate. the male deposits some sperm onto a small web and picks it up on the end of his pedipalps. and when the female is in position, he'll deposit the sperm in the female's genital opening.

               I was horrified immediately after sending the message. What would he think after that. I deleted the text but not fast enough.

Kay:
did you really just describe spider sex to me?
wtfff that's so random!!  XD
and yes, i read fast. you shouldn't delete our texts

               I wanted the ground to swallow me up and spit me back out.

Me:
i'll sometimes say random things when i get nervous.

Kay:
and that's okay. why r you nervous though

               I couldn't answer that. I really couldn't. Even if I tried. So I would not reply by saying something stupid.

Me:
i don't know?

Kay:
come over Juju
Pwease...

Even if they tried, after reading that, nobody could stop me from going over.