Self doubt is my enemy, I am my own worst critics. I tend to be more uneasy than others I don't like being watched when I'm up to something unless, it's the person I let in my life that is. I crave privacy and  independence more than others.

The idea of being alone with someone I trust, feel safe with ,is what I love. I hate letting you down.You who has significant part of my life, I feel  your dissappointments. I can feel your distance when something is off,  I can feel your negative feelings over  me, And I beat up myself for that because I know it's my fault I feel them more deeply.

I  get upset when I realized that something is over between us. I'm aware when there's a bad air surrounding us. I get angry, jealous when being ignored by you purposely or not. I get envious with  others who's doing the same thing, as I did to you.

Because I know they're much more capable and if not better than me.

That's when I realized that they're  the one's who get to see the full view documentary of you, While I'm only allowed to see those snippet, teasers, and trailers of it.  It's not the kind of ending that I wanted . I hope that it doesn't end there, but it does. I wish our friendship didn't get affected, but it did. You told me to moved on, but I can't and I won't .

I will miss you so much 💕