~ ~ Zack ~ ~

"Here?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with a shy smile.

Christ, she was beautiful. Achingly beautiful.

"Yes. Here." I hooked an arm around Sasha's waist, pulling her close until there was no space between us.

A knot the size of Texas constricted my chest with the weight of the past lingering like a ghost. But I shoved all that aside back into its box and focused on Sasha. Because I was about to go a step further, go against every instinct, into unfamiliar ground.

Be softer. Gentler. Sweeter.

Show her I was more than the man... or the monster she knew.

Although I knew damn well soft and gentle was not what Sasha truly wanted.

Yeah, a sadist who thinks he can be sweet, is like a narcissist who thinks he's humble.

Shut the fuck up!

Although that annoying voice in the back of my head had a point.

However, I was finally coming to terms with what I wanted: a relationship and it would take effort, adaptation, and compromise-things I'd never done. But if I wanted this to work, I had to change. Sasha and Ellis had barged into my life and made me want something different. So, right now, a change in direction was necessary.

I needed to show Sasha a part of myself that wasn't defined by pain or control.

Sasha tilted her head up, dark eyelashes fluttering. "I hope no one is watching me right now."

"Don't worry," I smirked. "They're watching me."

A velvety laugh bubbled out of her. "How does your ego even fit in this room?"

"It's a tight squeeze, but I manage," My smirk fell away, turning serious. "No one is watching us."

She nodded but still flicked a glance over my shoulder.

The knot in my chest pulsed with a strange life to it now. Being here, alone, just the two of us—suddenly, everything about Sasha seemed more vivid: her skin brighter, her eyes bluer, her smile sweeter.

Was it because she knew the mess of my fucked up past and wasn't running away from it. Not that I thought she would. She'd also not baulked at my confession of ending that bastard's life.

Weirdly, I had also felt a change within me too. Sharing—confessing whatever you wanted to call it had been cathartic and long overdue.

It didn't make it all better, the pain I'd caused couldn't be unwound, but a future where the two of them let me share in what they already had was still in reach.

My only job now was not to fuck it up.

And that challenge had me brandishing a smile.

"Okay, you're smiling," she said, "And that's a new one."

One thick eyebrow went up. "A new smile?"

"Hmhmm."

"How many do I have?"

Her plump lips drew back, bright white teeth flashing. "Not as many scowls, but a few if we count smirks."

My smile widened at her honest curiosity.

"That's a new one for sure," she said, her grin natural and only a little bit teasing.

"Only you can pull a smile out of me more in one day than I used to in months."

She blinked and waved her hand in front of my face. "This... you, takes some getting used to."

"Do you like it?"

"...It's, umm, unexpected."

That wasn't a no, and I knew it would take time for her to understand that I was all in.

The days of pushing her—pushing them—away, were over.

I adjusted our stance. "I'm done denying what I'm feeling-"

"What are you feeling?" Sasha asked, her voice barely hiding the scepticism.

"You make me feel a hundred different things, some I don't even know how to put into words yet, but I can tell you I wasn't prepared for you ripping into the most broken parts of me. How you got under my skin and breathed life into a muscle that some, including your father, thought was dead."

"Wow!" Her jaw slackened and with zero sarcastic undertones said, "For someone who struggles with expressing themselves, that was pretty good."

Her complement made me relax but I knew I had a hell of a way to go with opening up and sharing my feelings...but I could show her.

My hand framed her jaw as I slid my lips over hers, brushing back and forth, light as the caress of a feather. Her lips parted slightly as the tip of my tongue teased them. She closed her eyes as I kissed her, gently at first, then deeper, tasting her, but still holding her jaw so she couldn't move.

I guess surrendering control was something I would need to work on, and not wanting to push my luck, I teased her upper lip with one last flick of my tongue, then eased back.

My voice was rough, raw, real. "Here I am, Sasha. You see all my scars, my baggage, my secrets. Right now, you don't trust me, but give me the chance to earn it."

Sasha wrinkled her sweet forehead. "And what if I never trust you? Your life is all about kink. Where would I fit in if I'm not your sub?" Shaking her head. "Because I won't watch you with other subs."

She breathed out a long breath, staring at me with an uncharacteristically vulnerable look.

"Do I want to own you?" I paused. "Abso-fuckin-lutely. I want your mind, your thoughts, your heart. Your surrender." She opened her mouth to say something but I pressed a finger over her lips. "But I don't want to live my life that way all the time. I know I've fucked up, and if you giving me another chance means I have to step aside and let your needs be met by Ellis, then that's what I'll do." I removed my finger.

Sasha looked dubious, and I couldn't blame her.

"I'm not going to strip you of choices," I said earnestly. "I don't want to bark commands or watch you parade around naked all the time. I don't want a contract that sits between us. You're more than just a body or a sub. You're the first woman—" I think I'm in love with. "—I genuinely enjoy being with."

Her eyes widened as her lips parted on a gasp.

I took a deep breath, carefully choosing my next words. "Hell, just sitting with you, watching a show on TV, sharing the same space—that's something I never thought I'd want, but with you, I do. I want to be all in, Sasha. I want to be there for the mundane, everyday moments, not just sex or kink."

She still wasn't saying anything, which I took as a good sign.

"I want us to build something real, something that isn't defined by roles or rules. I want to know you, every part of you, and let you see every part of me."

Her eyes searched mine looking for the lie in my words.

But I wasn't done yet.

"You're not like anyone else. You're someone I want in my life and I will happily go through hell if it means I get to be with you in every way possible."

I felt like I'd thrown everything at her but the kitchen sink, but every word was the truth. With Sasha and Ellis, I could have more. They had an innocence I'd been too jaded and blind to see because of my lifestyle.

"Give me that chance to show you." It was the first time in my life I wasn't demanding or controlling, just asking.

Hell, at this point, I would beg.

"Look. I know you think I'm bullshitting you. I get it. Kink has been my life, and now you know why."

"Phew, this is a lot to take in," she said, puffing out a breath. "And we haven't even danced yet."

My laugh wormed it way free. "Well, let's fix that."

"You do know I only studied ballet for like, a month?"

"I'm going to teach you the waltz. It's easy. I will lead."

"So you get to be in control, the boss, huh?" Her tone was playful.

"For this, yes."

"Where did you learn?"

I didn't mind her throwing questions at me but I didn't want to revisit my childhood again today, but I had to be open and honest from here on in. "While other kids were learning how to ride bikes, Mother insisted I learn how to dance." I grimaced. "That, and she liked to dress me like a doll in formal clothes."

Pain sliced across Sasha's face. "Oh, are you sure you want-"

I cut her off. "At the time, I thought it was a punishment worse than the cage. However, now I'm hoping I remember enough to impress you."

I took her hand and placed it on my shoulder, then slid my own past her ribs so that it rested just below her shoulder blades.

"Just follow me."

Thankfully, a Bryan Adams song, "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman," started playing.

It seemed rather fitting, poignant almost.

Sasha stiffened and I drew her a little closer. "Relax."

She nodded, taking a deep breath, and I began to count softly, guiding her through the steps.

At first, her movements were stiff and hesitant, but as we continued, she began to loosen up. I kept my eyes pinned on hers, offering silent encouragement.

As we moved across the terrace, the world seemed to shrink where it was just us. Her laughter filled the air whenever she stumbled, and I couldn't help but smile and feel somewhat lighter.

"You're a natural," I said, spinning her gently before pulling her back into my arms. "Just feel me and the music."

Her eyes lit up in disbelief. "I never thought I'd be learning to waltz at one of the best seafood restaurants in LA with you, Zack."

"Life is full of surprises," I replied, lowering my voice. "And I wanted to give you a good one for a change."

Sasha hummed in agreement, and we continued to dance, our movements becoming more fluid and synchronized.

As the song ended, I asked her, "Do you want to get out of here, go somewhere, just the two of us?"

Her hands slid up behind my neck and pulled my lips to hers.

There was a recklessness to Sasha's kiss. A frantic plea. Desperate fingers pulled the ends of my hair as she held tight. Every inch of my mouth was claimed as if she were ravenous for my taste. And my touch matched hers. Wanting, needing more, more, always more.

~ ~

We walked into my beach house and I fired off a message and then dropped my phone onto the table.

"I didn't know you owned this place?"

"I rarely use it."

Sasha slipped off her pumps and was off, going from room to room and when she called out to me I found her in the bedroom standing in the open doorway of the balcony. "I love the ocean," she breathed moving forward and curling her fingers around the rail.

I threw off my jacket and came up behind her, wrapping myself around her.

"The view is incredible," she whispered.

"My views better," I pressed a soft kiss in the crook of her neck and gently scraped my teeth against her skin.

Sasha moaned as I sucked on her skin. "I want you to stay here, tonight, with me."

She wriggled in my grasp, forcing me back a little as she twisted around to face me looking somewhat conflicted.

"What is it?"

"Ellis," she said softly.

"What about him?"

"I want him here. He should be here. I don't want to do this without him."

"Do you care for—love, Ellis?"

"I still don't know how it happened, but yeah, I do."

I was too chickenshit to ask if she had feelings for me and also keenly aware of Ellis's feelings for Sasha and in no doubt who either would choose, however, I hoped in time it would change to include me. "I've already texted him. He'll be here in the morning. We can talk about where we go from there. But tonight, I want you all to myself."

I wanted to tack on it was non-negotiable, but I bit it back. I had to find my feet with Sasha, and get on firmer ground and to do that it needed to be just us.

"Okay," she nodded. "But I'm still not sure how or what you expect of me?"

"It works however you want it to work. It's your call. You're in control here."

She mulled over words. "I appreciate you sharing your past...and dinner and dancing, but how do we find a balance? You're still you."

Only time would show her but I had a question for her. "Tell me what first interested you in kink?"

She turned her pretty head away from me, and I observed the delicate line of her jaw, the way muscles tensed in her cheeks. "I watched you."

"When?"

"With Daddy's assistant on my birthday."

I barely remembered it. "And that was the catalyst?"

A few days later, when I was out in the garden, the wind blew Emily's skirt up around her thighs. I saw welts there, red and scattered, mixed with marks that looked a few days older. I began to understand a little. Not all the way—that would take longer to figure out—but I began to see that your attention could be a dangerous, painful thing to have."

She hitched a shoulder. "Which of course made me want it all the more."

"Ellis can give you what you need. I can show him, and just being there, sharing it, with the two of you is enough for me."

"So what's the deal here?" she asked, her soft round nose scrunching. "Me and you are gonna have sex without the kink?"

"We can do as little or as much as you like."

This normally went against everything I was. Everything I am.

And right now in the back of my mind ran hundreds, thousands of unspeakable things that I wanted to do to her, with her.

My heart and my guts lunged.

The urge. To take. To hurt.

To want her bound and helpless.

To feel her body open to my control, my squeezing, penetrating and violating.

And just the mere whisper of that suggestion.

I was stone-hard. I was restless with it.

My cock ached with it, for it.

Fuck.

Well, so much for my brilliant self-control.

Try harder, asshole.

I gritted my teeth, breathed through my nose and counted to ten.

Sasha's face was almost blank as she took slow, deliberate breaths as she had to remind herself how to breathe.

"Okay," she started with a small shake of her head. "I can't be restrained by you or blindfolded, and right now I need you to show me what you mean, but I also don't want vanilla either, that doesn't get me off."

"How's about we don't label it, let's just enjoy one another?"

Her body arched the tiniest bit. "Okay, we'll do it your way." And felt her fingertips run up the inside of my wrist.

My body tightened as I swallowed.

Sasha rose on her tiptoes to skim her lips against mine. At the unsure touch of her lips, all the fine hair on my body lifted. Desire rushed across my skin and made my heart beat faster. She opened up to me on barely there sigh and I flicked my tongue between her lips.

That alone had lust pounding through my veins, heating my blood, making my cock just as hard as the idea of having her helpless and bound. And as ever she tasted wickedly sweet and a whisper of forgiveness passed between us.

I bit down and dragged my teeth along her full bottom lip. Her tremble of pleasure, the sweet gasp sent a fierce bolt of electricity down my spine. Eagerness rushed across my skin, yet I didn't want to rush this.

Savour this time. Savour her.

Appreciate the gift she was miraculously still willing to offer me.

I eased my hand through her thick hair and took control of the kiss, pulling her closer, crowding her backwards, step for step until she touched the edge of the balcony wall.

I growled into her mouth, needing more.

Wanting more.

I'd already had a taste of Sasha... only once, and I hungered for more.

And I knew from here on in, I'd chase her.

And keep chasing her like the wolf her father had said I was.

"Zack..." she whispered.

I clenched her hair at the roots to angle her into a deeper kiss. Her spine bowed and pushed her tits into my chest as licked my tongue deeper, searching and claiming, inhaling every breath, every whimper.

I still couldn't completely push aside the tightly coiled frustration that itched like an open wound because I wasn't used to denying myself. Fuck, I'd never spent this long on just a kiss.

...But, I could kiss this woman for hours.

My hand let go and drifted down to bunch the smooth material of her dress and teased it through my fingers to skim the soft skin beneath.

A weird sensation flourished under my skin but my mind had now turned to Sasha's hand pressed above my heart that recklessly beat beneath her palm, my focus zeroing in on the gentle way her finger spread wider across my chest.

"More...Zack. I need more."

I need more... those three little words infused with need and lust sent a signal down to my aching balls.

I hissed in a rushed breath. "Are you sure?"

Sasha eased back and blinked. The desire shining in her eyes matched my own. "Yes."

And then she spun around and gripped the rail and asked. "Will you fuck me here?" Temptingly bowing her back and sticking out her ass.

Who was quite the exhibitionist now?

Which honestly, made her all the more perfect when my hand curled around her waist she glanced over her shoulder in surprise.

"No, not like this."

The fine skin around her bright blue eyes crinkled as her eyebrows nudged together. "But I thought..."

Not tonight.

I wasn't willing to share her with anyone, not even a passerby.

Until her and Ellis, sex had been an act certainly not intimate. Even when my infatuation with Tabitha was at its peak I never wanted to be intimate with her.

But they were different.

I skimmed my fingertips over her curves.

Tonight was about experiencing new sensations.

"C'mon," I flipped her around and capturing her hand I tugged her back into the bedroom. "I want you in my bed. With no eyes on you accept mine."

"Oh, oh..." Sasha's eyes curiously wandered over to the bed.

I dipped my head to lower my mouth to hear her caught breath and the way she swallowed because she didn't know what I was doing. "I want you naked underneath me."

"O-okay, yes."

The dress hung beautifully on her body, outlining every dip and curve and the stiff peaks of her nipples. My fingers skimmed lightly over her delicate collarbone lifting the straps and easing them over her shoulders. The soft material glided like silk, the dress sliding down her curves as smoothly as a stream flows over stones.

"No underwear?" My cock jumped and my hands itched.

She shrugged and it took a huge amount of self-control not to put her over my lap and spank her until she cried.

Breathe.

Fucking Breathe.

"What?" She teased dragging her bottom lip through her teeth. "You don't approve?"

Fuck.

"Oh, I most definitely approve, little girl."

The use of little girl had the same effect but I focused on what was in front of me and just as I remembered Sasha was all silky legs and bouncy tits and sweet smiles. I cupped the firm flesh and squeezed farm more gently than I thought myself capable.

"You're beautiful, Sasha. Perfect." It wasn't the first time I'd seen her naked, obviously, but it was the first time I was really seeing her. "Lie on the bed for me, in the middle."

I started to undo the buttons on my shirt, not going slow, but not rushing either.

Settled on the bed she said with an exaggerated pout, "Don't make me wait."

She looked fucking beautiful on my bed and slipping my shirt off, next, I unfastened my slacks and kicked off my shoes. "I'm gonna take my time with you tonight, sweetheart."

Her head lifted. "If you don't hurry," she threatened. "I might have to take matters into my own hands."

Was she baiting me?

"Brat," I said shedding the rest of my clothes and finally free of any constraints, I wrapped my hand around my jutting cock as it swelled further with impatience and I had to bite down on my lip to subdue a gravelly groan.

Sasha pushed up to one elbow as I stroked myself, sliding my hand down the rigid length, giving the odd tug to make sure I stayed in control. "You like watching me?"

She nodded her eyes riveted on my hand.

Speaking of getting off. "Spread open your legs and touch that pretty cunt for me," I instructed.

Yeah, so much for asking, laughed my subconscious.

Sasha pushed up to one elbow and watched me jerk off whilst I watched her legs part and her fingers dip inside the folds of her sex before dragging them upwards to circle her swollen clit.

Her head fell back letting out a low moan.

The eager bastard jumped in my grip...Oh, fuck.

Who was in control again?

I joined her on the bed moved over her and licked up the side of her throat, smiling when I heard the sharp intake of breath before my name was loosened on a moan. "Zack."

Fuck, I liked that... not Sir...but my name.

"Can you keep your hands by your sides for me?"

Sasha fisted the sheets and made a low moan in the back of her throat as I traced a fingertip over the soft swell of her breast drawing circles around her stiff nipple and flicking the tip with my thumb.

She bit down on her lip to swallow down her moan that had my cock flexing where it pressed against the heat of her pussy. "I'm going to fuck you many times and you'll come in my mouth, on my fingers and my cock, whilst shouting my name," I promised. "We're gonna make a mess of the sheets beneath your sweet fucking ass which come tomorrow will know the pleasure of mine or Ellis's cock."

She shivered and I moved up and kissed her, trying to air on the side of gentle, only to have her bite my lip hard and giggle as she did it.

My lip stung but it made my hips buck into hers at the same time. "Oops, you didn't say no biting!"

I tsked. "Naughty girl." Get punished. I wanted to say as copper flooded my mouth.

Sasha slowly pushed up and her tongue darted out to lick my bloodied lip and dipped into my mouth to suck my tongue before falling back to the mattress.

I was riding the motherfucking edge with this woman.

I backed up and moved to push her thighs wider.

Beautiful. Pink. Wet. And mine.

I shifted into position parted her puffy lips with my thumbs and lowered my hot, desperate mouth to drop an open-mouthed kiss.

"Holy shit!" she gasped.

I flattened my tongue and dragged through the slick wetness of her cunt... from top to bottom letting out a filthy groan and then a humming sound of approval.

Sasha bucked her hips and cried out. "Shit. There. Just there. Yes!"

Moving a hand to hold down her hips, I buried my face between her thighs and gorged myself. Up and down my tongue worked. Teasing and sucking, licking and swirling as I learned what she liked with each gasp and moan.

"You like this?"

Her lips parted on a long, husky moan as her spine lifted from the bed and her wriggling hips dug down. "Yes, Oh God, Yes."

Sasha didn't need to know she was the first woman I'd gone down on in years.

She also didn't need to know, yet, that she would be the last woman I would ever feast on.

Her fingers flexed in the bedding as if unsure what to do with them until finally, her hands found their way to my head and sharp nails scraped across my scalp.

The sharp pang of pain felt too good and was just what I needed.

Needy fingers knotted in my hair as her body trembled with her first orgasm readying to blow and swirling my tongue around her swollen bud and slowly my lips turned to teeth and to biting.

She made a desperate sound and it made me so fucking hard, I gave a throaty grunt and on hearing the catch in her breath I bit down hard to have her almost leap from the bed.

My eyes lifted to see stands of her dark hair whipped around her face, catching on her cheeks and across her eyes as she moved her head from side to side."Oh...oh...oooh, Zaaack."

Her whole body tightened as she came, hard, with her thighs slamming shut crushing my head, almost.

"Zack, Zack, Zack," she chanted, her voice heavy with blissed-out pleasure.

I didn't stop and plunged my tongue deep inside her cunt as she moved through her climax, stroking in and out...in and out, taking her into her next high and then onto the third with me alternating between bites, sucks and licks and by the fourth, the sheets were a sticky mess as that time she squirted with the added pressure on her g-spot from my fingers.

And if I thought Sasha was beautiful before, she was fucking gorgeous in the throes of her orgasm.

"Too much..." she was a mix of pants and gasps."Too much."

There was no such thing as too much.

She tried to wriggle away. "Time out..."

Her hands left my hair to make a T with her hand as she repeated her plea.

Tonight I would be generous and gave her one last wet, smacking kiss to her pink flesh and lifted my head. Her blue eyes were hazy. Her chest heaved with rapid breaths with her body wracked with tiny tremors.

I climbed up her body, nibbling and sucking the damp sweetly-salted taste of her skin.

It was a whole new experience for me, and what was fucking unexpected—I liked it, more than liked it.

Sucking her nipple into my mouth she hummed and squirmed. "Hurry up and screw me. I'm about to explode!" I guess she was done with her time-out. "I'm on the edge here, Zack."

Bracing a hand beside her head, I hovered over her. She licked her lips, staring back with unfiltered excitement.

Wrapping my fist around the root of my cock, I parted her slick folds with the tip, sliding it up and down and then dipping the crown just inside. My nostrils flared at the sensations running through my cock, poised right there between her puffy swollen lips. Need raced down my spine, a shudder swiftly followed, my mind emptying of everything but the feel of Sasha.

Soft. Hot.

Fucking perfect.

"Zack," she whined.

I didn't move no matter how much she wanted it.

No matter how much I did too.

Her lips parted on a low, pleading moan. Her pelvis lifted to encourage me and then her small hands moved to my chest and clawed frantically at my chest.

"Ah. Ah...naughty girl. Hands by your side." There was no threat in my tone.

"I can't stand this, I'm going to burst!" she pouted squeezing her eyes shut.

Why was I waiting?

I stole a quick kiss and with a guttural growl worked itself up my chest, vibrating through my throat as my balls tightened and I gave her what we both wanted, and I grunted with the conscious thrust of my hips shoving Sasha's body upwards, her beautiful tits bouncing with the action.

"Yes," she breathed her eyes snapping open and clamping her legs around my hips, digging her heels of her feet into my back.

"Fuck, Sasha, you feel so fucking good."

She was squeezing me so tightly bordering on painful that I knew I wouldn't last long. So I let go and fucked her like we both wanted.

Hard. Fast. Relentless with each stroke grinding against her clit and bumping her g-spot.

I felt it coming as Sasha's eyes widened, her pussy becoming even wetter and tighter.

Her climax crashed first her lips parting on a low, pleading moan as she was swept away and I joined her, with my peak hitting me square in the balls as my cock jerked and spluttered with Sasha not letting up, squeezing every last drop from me.

I finally slowed to a stop and my head dropped to the crook of her neck and her small hands moved to grip my biceps.

"I think you bruised my clit," she hummed still breathing heavily.

"It's the bump and grind, works every time." I lifted my head, grinning. "Vanilla wasn't all bad, huh?"

Her smile said it all as she stared at me in astonishment. "That was vanilla with a double shot of espresso."

My smile mirrored hers before moving to her side and shifting closer and placing my hand on her tit and squeezing. "You have ten minutes..."

"For what?"

"A breather before I do vanilla all over again."

She moved my hand and bolted upright. "I only need two minutes, just let me pee," she giggled, wriggling to the end of the bed and pushing up on wobbly legs, only to fall back down again. "Okay, I might need four..."

She tried again, and I stretched over the bed, slapping her ass. "Bathroom's that door."

Throwing me some sass. "Don't go anywhere," she said and my eyes dropped to her ass which was teasingly swaying as she walked away.

Yeah, I was definitely fucking that later.

I lay back, resting my hands behind my head, staring up at the ceiling.

Vanilla hadn't been what I'd expected... but it all came down to who you were with. And Sasha was the right person. She was perfect for me. Mine.

Just being around her, I found myself changing. My dormant conscience had been resurrected for one, and she breathed life into parts of me I thought were long dead.

Then it hit me—a monumental shift inside me. For the first time in a long while, I felt relaxed and genuinely happy.

Tonight had been a turning point, the catalyst for the life I never thought I'd have.

And as Emerson said, 'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.'

I would take his advice and make a blazing trail...with them.