†† Ellis ††

Zack shook himself out of whatever funk he'd just been in and stepped forward, making me inhale sharply when the tip of his finger trailed along the underside of my jaw.

"Back with me then?" I asked dryly, trying to cover to cover up the feelings skittering their way across my skin. His gaze lifted from my mouth and I saw how wide and blown his pupils were, how swollen his lips were and this time I wasn't completely taken off guard when Zack's tongue thrust into my mouth. Not even trying to resist, I reached for his head, holding him still as we devoured one another.

It wasn't gentle, but not entirely out of control, either, somewhere in the middle.

"Wait—" I pulled back, pushing a hand between us.

"Wait for what?" he asked, his breathing laboured.

"This..." My finger waved between us. "What just happened." Honestly, I couldn't believe he'd let me dominate him. "You submitted to me."

"I did."

"Why?"

His sharply pointed eyebrows lowered. "Because that's what you needed from me."

I swallowed hard when his eyes drifted to my mouth again. "So what now—what does that mean?"

"I don't know," He inhaled and took a step back. "But I'm gonna grab a post-workout shake and then hit the shower."

My damn dick twitched, liking the idea of him, naked in the shower.

But that—this felt wrong now.

Too much. Too soon.

And something inside my chest tied itself into a knot, loose and hard.  Sasha.  It was because she wasn't here.  Yeah, she'd been fine with me coming here to figure out my shit... but this?

Fuck.

It hit me.

Would she call this cheating?

I knew the awful stupid truth in an instant.  Sasha could snap my heart in an instant. She could chew it up and spit it out.  And it would be all my fucking fault, well not all mine. Zack had a hand in it... or rather, a hand on it.  Him touching my dick obliterated thought and common sense.

"Ellis, what's wrong?" He looked genuinely concerned.

"It's Sasha. I don't know—" I scrubbed my hand across my forehead. "I need to talk to her. Give me a minute, yeah?"

I didn't wait for him to respond. I was practically running from the apartment to abruptly stop on the landing. Looking left then right I spotted an open door and inside I could see work-out equipment. His gym. Heading that way I looked over my shoulder before shutting the door leaning up against it and fishing out my phone.

"C'mon, answer..."  My heart beat restlessly, increasingly faster.

"Hey, I wasn't—"

I cut in. "I'm so fucking sorry and please let me explain before—" 

Sasha cut me off. "Ellis, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I came here just like we agreed and then next thing, he had his hands on my dick and kissed me!" I said, hating myself for the twisting in my chest. "Then I pushed him down onto his knees and shoved my dick in his mouth and he let me and... Fuck. I'm sorry."

Silence.

"Sasha..."

I heard her blow out a breath and I rambled on some more. "I'm an asshole. I just came here to talk, I never meant for that to happen—to fuck his face."

More silence.

"Talk to me, Sasha. Yell—scream. Call me a bastard, whatever..."

"Zack submitted to you?"

Okay, she didn't sound angry, maybe more surprised than anything. "Yeah, that."

"And he wasn't tied up, no chains were involved?"

I knew she was thinking back to her handcuffing him to his bed. "Hmm, nope."

"Did it help you figure things out, are they clearer now?"

My head hit the door with a thwack, and my eyes looked up. "Kinda...maybe, yeah."

She took another breath and I had to know. "Please say I've not fucked it up already. Me and you."

"No." And then she giggled. "Not really, I mean I kinda had an idea what might happen, we're talking about Zack here..." Okay, this was good, she wasn't about to cut my balls off with blunt scissors.  "I guess it was just something I would have liked to see..."

My whole body relaxed a little. We were okay.

Ten minutes later I made my way back to Zack's apartment. In the main living area, I called out. "I'm back."

"In here."

I followed the sound of movement and saw a light on to a partially open door. I pushed it open and peered around the door.

There in his bathroom, Zack stood, his back to me, naked, his clothes dumped in a pile in the corner. I let myself skim over his physique. He's not as muscular as me but still, he's packing some, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. He spotted me watching him in the reflection and I spotted him with his hand around his cock.

A cock that I'd had buried in my ass.

My ass clenched at that memory as my eyes dipped to his ass.

He had a fine ass too.

I liked his dick and his ass. No denying it any longer. I was most definitely into him.

So was my dick and it sat up as if electrocuted and through the reflection, his barely-there smile acknowledged me.

"Did you get your answer?" he asked.

"Hmhmm." My mouth went dry as I watched him leisurely stroke his thick hard cock knowing he hadn't come earlier.

Sasha told me nothing was off the table to help me figure this out. She said we couldn't move forward even as a couple if I didn't know myself and she would never stand in the way of me figuring out my feelings for Zack.

It reminded me again of how wrong I'd been about her all these years and I'd almost blurted out, told her I loved her. I was damn sure I didn't deserve her but me being a selfish prick, there was no fucking way I'd let her go now. Never, if up to me.

"I told her what happened and then she asked if we fucked and I told her no." My eyes were glued to his hand. "She seemed a little disappointed, so I told her I'd thought about it."

Zack's eyes dipped and my cock throbbed beneath the denim.

"Oh, you have?" His eyes slowly lifted to mine.

I hitched a shoulder trying to keep it casual. "Yeah, sometimes."

"Tell me," he said firmly. "In these thoughts of yours. Is it my cock in your ass? Or yours in mine?"

I smirked and answered cockily. "Well now that you mention it... I have just fucked your throat..." I inhaled and exhaled, and now that image was plastered in my head of him bent over and me fucking him I had to fight back the overwhelming desire that flooded my body.

"And what did Sasha say?"

I grinned thinking back on her long soft groan. "She thanked me for my honesty."

Zack stroked himself firmly, his eyes partially closing as he rasped. "That's all she said?"

"I asked her if it bothered her or if she was upset that I wanted you."

That had been the first time I'd admitted that out loud.

"And I'm guessing if it did you wouldn't have come back." I ignored my dick, pressing insistently against my zipper now.

"Sasha comes first with me, always." A soft grunt followed. "I don't want to hide this—whatever this is, from her. And yes, if she didn't like it I would have walked and gone grovelling on my hands and knees, begging for her forgiveness."

He nodded slowly and then asked. "So you want to dominate me?"

I realised when I confessed everything to Sasha that I needed him to understand I wanted him but not always the Dom, if that made sense. "No. Not really," shrugging. "Although I won't deny I got off on it."

His big hand began stroking his cock faster, his eyes locked on mine like a lifeline and I held his stare, unable to look away.

"Did it upset her at all?"

"She said it didn't bother her." A frustrated groan escaped him. "So I asked her how it made her feel."

"And?"

I licked over my dry lips. "She said it made her hot."

"Fuck," he groaned, his fist tightening on his dick.

"How does it make you feel?" he asked. "To know it made her hot, and most likely wet?"

I inhaled sharply. "Hot and fucking hard." I was frozen in place, my cock so fucking hard it hurt. But I didn't move. Hell, I couldn't.

"Do you like watching me jack off, Ellis?"

"Ah-huh." I nodded.

Zack inhaled sharply this time and exhaled just as fast. Over and over as his fist raced over his dick and I gripped my own through my jeans and squeezed. And then he stopped and moved to flip on his big, fancy shower with a mosaic bench in it—because apparently, showering was a spectator sport now.

Then he stalked proudly toward me and suddenly there was not enough air in the room.

"I appreciate your honesty, Ellis, but may I ask something?"

Another nod.

"Does your once-and-done still stand?"

Him knowing me so well should freak me out. That was the exact line I'd told myself in my head after he'd fucked me in Amsterdam.

"Can I take your ass again, Ellis —do you want me to?"

My ass clenched and not in a bad way. Yeah, I wanted him to. 

He could strip me right here and I wouldn't complain. That thought had my temperature spiking, my skin was so hot it was a wonder I hadn't gone up in flames. Hell, I was almost to the point I would beg. Almost. "Yeah."

He didn't move and I wondered if I was supposed to be doing something. I wanted him to touch me.

Finally, finally,  Zack came closer and slipped his hand to the back of my neck. "It's a shame we don't have all the time in the world," he continued before that statement could sting. "But I'll make it count."

He tugged on my hair, but not enough for it to hurt. "Take your top off."

He loosened his grip and I dragged my tee-shirt off, tossing it aside.

His knuckles brushed my chest. "I've never told you but you really are fucking perfection." He trailed his knuckle up the line of fair hair that descended from my navel to the band of my jeans and then reversed course moving up the curve of my stomach to spread his hands over my pec... over my heart.

His smile held an edge to it. "Your heart is racing, Ellis."

There's no point in attempting to dissemble. There hasn't been since the beginning of this. "Yeah."

"For me?" he hummed.

I nodded again and then he carefully unfastened my button. "Pleasure can be even more painful than a beating when conducted with the proper patience."

I don't have a fucking clue what he's going on about. I just want his hands on my dick again. "What?" I stared at him, my mind was sluggish with filthy thoughts and it was difficult to keep up. "You want to hurt me? Or you're going to?"

"Think about it, I'm hurting you, right now."

Huh?

Zack gripped the front band of my jeans, brushing my cock, and I nearly went to my knees. He jerked me closer and leaned down to press a kiss on the centre of my chest. He's barely touched me and I'm about to come in my jeans.

He sank to his knees before me. Twice in less than an hour and the sight of him kneeling should trigger some dominant feeling, but there's no illusions about who's in control. He took his time teasing the zipper down and then tugged it down my hips and thighs, one inch at a time.

He's right about pain, going this slowly was fucking torture.

Which was right around the time when he realised I still had my boots on. Zack hummed a little under his breath and wrestled them off with a faint chuckle. It's awkward and should feel odd, but it does little to dampen the spell he's woven around me.

Once I was free, he tossed my boots over his shoulder and urged me to step out of my jeans. Then he ran his hands up the outsides of my legs to grip my hips. My cock was so hard, it was threatening to escape the band of my underwear. He made a sexy little humming noise again and drifted his fingers over my cock. "Big guy."

Guys love to hear they have a big cock, but in my case it was true. "You already knew that," I managed to grind out.

"I did." He gripped the band and tugged it down, pressing it against my cock as he did. "But I had you and then I lost you and that short amount of time didn't allow me to properly appreciate you." He stopped with my underwear at the base of my cock, so tight that every bit of me fizzed. "You're Perfect."

This was so un-Zack like all this talking and almost being sweet. "Can you quit it?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Quit what?"

It's difficult to think with my heartbeat pounding along my hard length. Difficult to think with him looking at me like that, slightly impatient and yet indulgent at the same time. I dragged in a breath and tried to think enough to form proper sentences. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I do want to dominate you, Ellis," he says simply. "But I also want you to feel my equal. And if you will indulge me and allow me the opportunity. Then you will see how this is different for me. That you are not like the others. You never were."

I know he's talking about his boys and for the second time in less than an hour he's told me I'm different. This is different.

My mouth worked, but no sound came out. I swallowed hard. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Look at me, Ellis."

The sharpness of his tone left me with little choice but to obey. There was no cruelty on his face, just something I had no name for. It's intense though.

Zack sat back on his heels but didn't release me. "From now on I will always promise you honesty in the bedroom, although technically we're not in the bedroom."

"Zack—"

"No, you're going to listen." It should be absurd to have this conversation with him on his knees and my cock aiming for his eye—but somehow, it's not. He tugged my underwear down a few inches, and then a few more. "You're so fucking sexy, it drives me to distraction. " He leaned forward and drew his tongue up the length of my cock. "I can't get enough of your taste." Zack looked up at me, his almost black eyes luminous this time. "And this. You're the first man to have me on my knees... literally and figuratively speaking."

I swallowed hard again. Fuck really, where was all the air?

"Come." He rose gracefully and flicked his head and turned toward the shower.

I mock-glared at him. "You want to wash me?"

"I never said anything about washing you." The look he shot me over his shoulder came with a grin I'd never seen on him before. The man had more expressions than a poker player with a royal flush.

Who was this man?

This relaxed Zack was fucking weird and even weirder to get used to and my legs hardly felt like my own and my body moved as if a puppet on strings of Zack's making.

Standing under the water jet, this time, Zack took my face in his hands. Within seconds, he reversed our positions until I was pressed up against the wall and our lips fused again. His cock pressed up against mine and my hands wanted to wander, but I refrained. It wasn't fucking easy, either. I felt like a firecracker, lit and seconds away from blowing up.

Zack eased back and then he took my eager, straining cock and laid it against the impossibly hot hardness of his own in the palm of his hand.

Huh? Who knew they'd fit?

Stroking his thumb over our cocks. It's a simple act, but it still felt like a fucking miracle that I could even do this with a guy... him.

"From you setting foot in my club..." He trailed off. "I've pretty much wanted this from that day, basically."

He paused, his hand flexing around our dicks.

"And I know I wasn't honest and maybe pushed you too hard before you were ready for any of it—but I'm fucking selfish where you are concerned and I can't bring myself to regret it."

Wow. Okay. But would it be rude to ask him to keep stroking my... our dicks whilst he chatted?

"I need you to know how I feel, because if you think this is just about our dicks." He glanced down. "Then that couldn't be less true." He stared at me now with another look I couldn't decipher. "You affect me in many different ways—ways I didn't expect."

The seriousness of the conversation stirred up weird feelings, making my chest heave like I'd just run a marathon. "I think you affected me, too, right from the start," I admitted, wanting to be fair and honest with him. "Also scared the shit out of me." I grinned, adding, "Especially the way my body reacted."

He dropped our dicks and I had to bite on my tongue to stop a god-damn groan, but then he flipped me around and my hands pressed onto the tiled walls and nerves mixed with a flurry of excitement kicked in.

And it only intensified when he inched closer behind me, right in, his chest stuck to my back and his cock rigid between my cheeks and his thighs immovable pressed against the back of mine. The heat of his body and the water allowed my eyes to drift closed if only to absorb more of it.

Zack wrapped his arms around me, one a vice around my chest, the other with fingers splayed tight across my lower stomach, and rested his chin on my shoulder, face tilted inwards as his heartbeat thumped against my shoulder blade.

He moved slightly. "Tell me, Ellis,' he murmured against the outer shell of my ear. "How many times over these last few weeks have you let yourself imagine me fucking your tight, hot ass?"

I groaned... "More than a few times."

"Do you remember the first time, coming so hard, huh?"

Fuck, I did.

"How does it feel knowing in a minute I'll have my dick buried inside your body? Knowing it'll feel every bit as good as last time —maybe even better, and just like that time the feel of me fucking you will have you coming just as hard. I promise you that."

"Christ, Zack," I moaned.

"Answer me, Ellis."

He was a master at fucking torture. "Yeah, it feels good knowing that, okay!" And to prove my point I instinctively arched my arse against his cock.

What the fuck?  He dropped his hands and moved but then over my shoulder I watched him pop the cap on the lube.  Good. He wasn't stopping. 

"Spread your legs a little wider for me."

He slathered it between my cheeks. It felt warm this time and then I felt his fingers tease that ring of muscle and I clenched like a god-dam fist.

"Relax, sweetheart."

I wasn't sure how I felt about him calling me sweetheart, it felt too soft for me. But it sure beat the fuck out of calling me boy. 

I moaned though, forgetting it when he worked a finger inside getting me ready.  I hissed as a second finger joined in. "That's it... you remember this right?"

His other hand came around as he grabbed my dick. "Just like last time, you'll take all of me."

I almost jumped when his fingers curled and pressed against that gland.

He chuckled and bit my ear. "You remember that too, huh?"

Did he want me to answer?

And then his fingers and hand were gone and I heard the cap again.

The press of his cock against my hole had me holding my breath. "I thought of this too, Ellis," he tells me. "I haven't fucked anyone since you and Sasha. Haven't wanted to. That's how much you've both got me twisted up."

His voice shook with exertion but I'm too focused on feeling his cock teasing, prodding.

Fuck I wanted this.

He then shunted forward.

Intense. Burning.

I couldn't escape the low, anguished sound that crawled from my throat. I'd be sweating buckets if I wasn't already soaked.

"Jesus, sweetheart, you've got to Relax—I've got you. Relax."

I gritted my teeth as I felt every inch opening me up. I'd forgotten how big his cock was.

"Fuck, I'd forgotten how tight you were." He hissed through his teeth. "Perfect."

I let out a slow breath with my eyes wedged closed.

And with that, he pulled back a little and then thrusts and stopped, and thrusts again, and in this position, the fucking size of him is so crazy, so implausible.

His hand came around again and grabbed my cock and squeezed. "This will be easier if you bend over, and brace your hands on the bench."

Ah, I guess I could see the advantage of the bench now.

I grunted and Zack dropped my cock and pulled out. I moved to the left and got in position. I felt the hairs on his thighs brush mine as he spreads my ass cheeks. His cock felt even harder when he pushed back against my hole and my body sucked him back in forcing me to rise to my toes.

"Steady, I've got you."

His hands gripped my hips.

And then he started to move, and I suspected he was trying to hold himself back for me, but each shunt was fucking heaven. "You can go harder, I'm not fucking made of glass," I gritted out.

"Is that begging I hear?"  

I could hear his smirk.  And I should have said, make me... but I stopped myself. 

"Hard it is..." he said and he stopped holding back and the sounds he made each time he bottomed out were low, male and fucking raw.

This felt carnal, he was fucking me properly now, with deliberate strokes making my cock jerk and weep every time his blunt head rubbed over that swollen gland.

I was about ready to beg. "Please, Zack." I was fevered, suspended between need and that finish line. "Fuck..."

"Stroke your cock for me."

I moved my hand and he adjusted his grip to balance me as I did as he asked. I started to rock, meeting him thrust for thrust. From my ears to my fucking arse, everything was on fire.

"This. You," he grunted. "You're fucking perfect. You could easily drive me to do crazy things."

"More...Harder..."

"My." Thrust. "Fucking." Thrust. "Pleasure, sweetheart."

That seemed to send him over the edge, his thrusts becoming unfathomable and more ferocious as his huge cock wreaked havoc and the riot of stimulation against my gland and my hand on my cock had me hurtling over that edge.

I submitted to the feelings of the rhythmic slaps of hips against my cheeks and the raw, filthy exhilaration of being fucked in the ass. I fucking yielded to it with every starved, deprived atom in my body. I hardly recognised the guttural roar that exploded, my cock went rigid and I came with almost violent, urgent spurts.

Zack folded himself over me rubbing his face in my hair and nipping at my ear as he fucked me through it.

And then it was his turn, he went stiff, a mix of grunts and curses as I felt him empty deep inside me.

We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, I was almost afraid to move, but slowly he softened inside me and then our bodies separated and I slowly rose and pressed my back against the tiled wall and faced him.

His big hands framed my face and this kiss was gentle in contrast with slow sweeps of his tongue teasing mine. He let me go and put a little space between us and asked. "Are you okay?"

I ran both hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm good."

We stared at each other unblinking then swiped his thumb over the wetness of his lower lip. "Fuck, I want to do that again."

He was throwing down the gauntlet and we're back to a staring competition.

"Does that freak you out?' he asked.

"No," I said matter of factly. "I'd think I might freak out more if I thought this might be the last time."

He moved to stand fully under the second shower head and said. "I'm not sure what we're doing here but this can last as long as you want it to."

I nodded. "I'd like to see where it goes, but not without Sasha. I don't want this without her." Time to be honest again. "I think I'm in love with her."

He didn't even flinch. "I have something I need to do then I'm going to visit her."

"I heard what you said, you told her dad." I chewed on my lip and again he beat me to it.

"I don't expect you to tell your family about this—us, Ellis. Relax. You can do that in your own time. If ever. They can think we share Sasha, nothing more. It's no one's business."

I shook my head. "If it does move forward then I'm not hiding it." I grinned. "But my dad hits harder than Ryan."  

Honestly, I wasn't too worried about my parents, on the whole, I'd been lucky as they'd put up with a lot of shit over the years from me and they still loved me.  I knew my dad would insinuate I couldn't make up my mind about who I liked to fuck, but that was a moot point now. I knew exactly who... and it was these two.

Zack laughed. "Yeah, it won't be the first time your dads punched me." He turned and grabbed some shower gel and handed it to me.

I squeezed some out and the smell practically assaulted me. "Strawberry, huh?" I arched my brow.

"Don't fucking say it, I know. Sasha left at my place." He plucked it from my hand and said almost wistfully. "It reminds me of her... her smell. I miss it... I miss her."

Well, fuck me sideways, who knew Zack could be sentimental and express feelings?

Perhaps I was in the twilight zone.

Now soaping up my body. "You better hope she's in a forgiving mood." I let my head fall back into the spray of the water.  I hoped she was in a forgiving mood too, now that I'd finally figured my shit out because I'd made it clear, it came to a choice. There was no competition.