~ ~ Zack ~ ~

Alone once again. Not only was my mind restless, but so was my body, a layer of chaos coating everything making me feel out of sorts and if I didn't know better I would've thought it was stress-induced.

I wasn't stressed. I was confused and slightly angry.

This was because of them. The two of them. 

Closing the door to my study my eyes wandered to the leather sofa where Ellis had slept. Yesterday, I wasn't sure if I'd gone too far with overloading his brain especially with him already dealing with his sexual crisis.

But when my lips had hovered over his, the need to press my mouth against his had been almost too irresistible to resist and it had taken every ounce of willpower to pull back.

I honestly wasn't sure how much longer I could keep shit-talking myself into believing I didn't want more or at least buy myself more time.

With a frustrated grunt, I walked to my desk and took a seat in the high-backed leather chair. Opening my drawer, I dipped inside and pulled out my laptop.

Logging in I skimmed my emails, ensuring there wasn't anything urgent that needed my attention. I found a couple of updates from James and Ivy, but nothing that required any action. There was another from my newly appointed manager, Jane Allard, in France. The official open date for our new club in Paris was about to go live and she was updating me on the status of this week's upcoming schedule.

Again though, nothing pressing and I would be there tomorrow anyway.

On any other day, I would've got a kick in addressing those messages, responding with actions and questions. That wasn't the case this morning. I found I could hardly focus on anything other than Ellis and Sasha and how good yesterday had been, both on the plane ride over and the club scene as well as the time spent in my private room here.

As well as uncharted feelings, both of them were really fucking with my head.

Not necessarily in a bad way, just a fact that I wasn't completely comfortable with.

Sasha, the vision she was, had me thinking thoughts that had no right to be there. Each turn she gave me pause for thought. I enjoyed the feel of her against me and how good she smelled with my soap on her skin. Not to mention she had taken her spanking beautifully and then came apart on my fingers in front of strangers. And Ellis. His attempts at submitting to me and how utterly fucking delicious he'd looked handcuffed to my bed. It hadn't been my intention to have his cock in my mouth. But the taste of Sasha on him had all but blown any common sense and I'd let him come down my throat.

There were other things too, just as equally confusing. Like, it was nice having them around; sharing my space.  It didn't feel like an invasion of my privacy. Getting to know them and watching them interact was oddly interesting.

And something I hadn't done in years. Hadn't wanted to.

But now?

The evidence was stacking up against me.

They had both gotten under my skin, to an extent I'd never experienced before. Not even Tabitha or Nathaniel had affected me to this level.

Sasha was the first person to come into my life and wreak havoc with very little effort. She rattled me, drew out emotions I was purposely trying to ignore and turning a blind eye to them was like attempting to swat a persistent mosquito at bedtime—annoying and fucking futile.

I would admit it was a thrill watching her experience the lifestyle, all new through her eyes. She was so responsive and surprisingly I was learning her pain threshold went beyond what I thought was possible. She wasn't at all fragile. And she responded best to commands and directives, something else I enjoyed about her. I'd never been with another female submissive who was so eager to be controlled, dominated, and equally eager to please me above all else.

Needless to say, I was having a difficult time thinking of anything except for her... and, well, him.

Or more accurately, I could not stop fantasising about all the things I wanted to do to them. Tie them both up in some capacity and do wicked, dirty things to them whilst they were both completely at my mercy... with my toys, hands...tongue and cock.

Thinking of Ellis. I felt an undeniable connection to the man, although he was doing his utmost best to fight it at every step.

That thought had me getting to my feet, doing my best to adjust my jeans to accommodate the hard-on they both inspired simply by breathing. It was an unnatural reaction for me to have so quickly, so easily.

Although... It was something I thought might happen eventually.

Not that I would openly admit that to anyone, but I knew at some point in my life I wanted to meet that one person who could satisfy the other part of me, the part that was looking for the same things vanilla—in other words, what normal—people did and wanted.

Something real. Something lasting.

But that hadn't been on the cards for a few years yet, but these two were fucking with my plans; knocking me off kilter.

Sitting back down, rocking back in my chair, I had to laugh at myself. I was doing the same thing that I accused Ellis of. Fighting myself.

Only his fight was with his confused feelings on sexuality.  Mine felt much more complex and dealing with emotions wasn't one of my gifts.

And back there, I'd fucked up.

And Ellis had called me on it, quick to tell me I was being a dick. He was right. My walls shot up at the mere mention of a relationship. Yeah, I wasn't stupid. I saw the hurt I inflicted shutting Sasha down. Her expressive eyes gave her away every single time.

Undoubtedly, I was confusing her, and my words belied my actions.

And for good reason. Well, two good reasons. Max and Ryan.

Still, though, a shift was underway, something beyond my grasp. It was a transformation that demanded my attention, a force I had to stop before I did find myself up shit creek without a paddle.

They didn't belong in my world.

My life revolved around sex, something I craved, something I needed. And I knew myself.

Or I thought I did.

I stopped rocking when it hit home.

When was the last time I'd fucked? I blinked.  If I couldn't remember, then it was more than a few days.

Fucking hell. No wonder I was an emotional fucktard.

Maybe that's what I needed right now. Just to let off some steam. Clear my head. Get back to what I know.

It stirred up something and cock responded in kind. Returning my attention to my laptop, I clicked on the Amsterdam clubs sign-in logs. Out of all my clubs, this one was the one with the highest number of in-house submissives and slaves.

And the club truly operated twenty-four-seven.

It was easy. Head downstairs and find a sub... or two.

Putting my laptop away, I pushed up from my chair and headed out. Half-way down the hallway, I paused outside the bathroom. It was evident Ellis had joined Sasha in the shower. I could hear her soft moans and I pictured Ellis between her smooth thighs, her gripping onto his hair.

My cock throbbed against my zipper.

It had no problem in barging in there and commanding Sasha to her knees and making her choke on my cock while Ellis fucked her sweet pussy.

I'd yet to fuck Sasha. It would happen soon, I didn't doubt that.

Ellis though? His physical reaction to me told me of the chemistry between us, but the lost look in his eyes, the confusion screamed I needed to be careful.

He had to figure his shit out. Go at his own pace.

I couldn't risk a repeat of my past mistake.

With a shake of my head, I stepped back from the door and then my phone vibrated. Dipping inside my pocket. It was a message from Monk.

I'd lied to Sasha about Nia, Monk and Shawn not coming to the club often. The fact of the matter was Monk managed my Amsterdam club.

I wasn't even sure why I'd lied. I'd played it dirty, not telling Sasha or Ellis what I had planned because crazily I had wanted to see their reaction witnessing the dynamics of a solid BDSM relationship and if it would appeal to them.

And I hadn't been at all surprised by Sasha's reaction.

Ellis's reaction? That wasn't as easy to figure out and I'd offered him an out, but he'd declined and yeah, I felt his unease when Shawn fucked Monk, but still, he was hard.

Couldn't hide that.

"Yes," Sasha cried out in a breathless moan. I fought with a smile and lost. Picking up my feet I headed out. Stepping from the elevator and with a nod to security I walked along the management corridor right into Monk's office, without knocking.

All three of them were here.

I'd always been a little envious of what Nia, Shawn and Monk had.

A connection I thought I had found a long time ago...

Grumbling to myself, I tossed whatever crazy shit was still brewing inside my head as I reminded myself of the harsh reality... Max and Ryan. Not only that, it had gone to shit last time. Tabitha had seen to that. She manipulated Nathaniel and me with the finesse of a virtuoso playing a violin.

I wasn't surprised to find Monk seated behind his large glass desk and his head buried in his laptop with Shawn on the sofa resting one ankle on the opposite knee, with a coffee mug resting on the other. Nia was perched on the edge of the table, legs swinging. A giddy smile touched her lips when she saw me. She hopped off the table and sauntered over and then caught me by surprise by raising onto her tiptoes to plant a kiss on my cheek.

It earned her growl from Monk and a chuckle from Shawn.

"That will cost you, sweetheart," I warned.

She winked at me. "Worth it."

A quick perusal from head to toe. Today Nia looked the part of the professional female, a role she pulled off with ease. While she did nothing for me on a sexual level, she was the epitome of sinful sexuality. Her black knee-length A-line skirt showed off her curvy ass and narrow hips, while a blood-red blouse gave a glimpse of her ample cleavage.

Her impeccably preened brows arched. "Where are your two subs?" she glanced over my shoulder as if they might magically appear. "I wanted to meet them, maybe swap a story or two..."

"Temporary subs." I corrected.

She pouted. "Temporary you say." Her smile turned wicked. "And yet you brought them to watch us." She hummed. "... So why now? Why them?"

My head moved from side to side. "Quit digging, Nia."

She didn't quit, clucking her tongue. "What's with all the secrecy?"

"Nia... Enough!" warned Monk.

Shawn spoke up. "I thought you were heading out early?" He patted the seat next to him. "Nia, come sit by me." It wasn't a request.

I had planned to. "I want to check out down here first."

"Is that code for you wanting to sample what's on offer?" questioned Monk.

I didn't respond and my face gave nothing away.

"What, two subs not enough for you?" asked Shawn, putting his mug on the table and shifting his arms to rest on the back of the sofa.

Nia sat next to Shawn. "Guess things haven't changed after all." Resting her hand on his upper thigh. "If you're looking to play..." She didn't finish, just let the suggestion hang there.

She was being a brat and teasing to get a rise out of her Dom's.

"One more word from you, Pet and I will fill your mouth with something not so nice." Shawn wrapped his hand in Nia's hair and pulled her head back.

Nia pouted but her pupils expanded under the weight of his threat.

My head swung over to Monk when he asked. "Who was the female sub? She looked familiar."

All three of them knew Sasha's father, Ryan. He was a regular here whenever he had business in Europe. "No one you know."

His left brow arched up, not believing me.

But realising I would tell them nothing more he moved on. "Well if was good seeing you but don't let us keep you. Sample away..." Monk's mouth lifted into a smile. "Our little pet here needs a lesson in respect and then I think a little speech restriction is in order."

Nia looked anything but upset.

Bowing out of their office, I made my way through the club. Most of my clubs had a similar theme. Of course, if something worked, I generally stuck with it. I just wasn't feeling the club scene much at the moment and I still couldn't quite pinpoint what my issues were.

I'd already decided the sex had become uninspired. The high I used to get from it all had faded.

Yet... still, it was easy. Sex without complication. Domination without drama.

Walking into one of the main viewing rooms, I was met with several curious glances before it clicked with them all who I was and they all lowered their heads. Three male subs, and a single female all in different stages of undress.

Normally, I opted for privacy. Then again, exhibitionists and voyeurs alike tended to enjoy having others around. I had a penchant for both today.

"I want you all naked. Or leave right now." That was the only warning I would give. None of them questioned and stripped and folded their clothes.

With no interest in doling out discipline or pain today. I didn't need them to beg or bring them to tears. So I could ease up on my usual requirements. This was a simple exchange to ease my frustration. To clear my head.

Eyeing up the potential offerings, none were collared, which meant it was open season. "Hmmm," I hummed under my breath, not entirely sure how I wanted to play this out. However, two caught my attention.

Two young male subs.

But why just settle for two?

I slowly made my way around the room to closely inspect the submissive pool. The female sub was pretty, curvy and confident, but didn't have a throat strong enough to take the brutal pounding of my cock.

But... I moved to stand in front of her and raised her head with my finger. Pretty brown eyes stared back. "I will not touch you, but I'm going to use you for my pleasure."

She nodded her head, and an eager smile stretched across her painted black lips. "I'm yours to use, Sir."

"You boy." I turned and pointed to a male sub. The shortest and most likely the youngest of the three with a stocky build and shoulder-length shaggy ginger hair. "Yes. You." I clarified as all three male subs had raised their heads with hopeful expressions. When the other two acknowledged who I'd singled out, they looked visibly disheartened as they lowered their heads again.

But I had a plan for them all.

The young male sub flew over to me, lowering his head. "Yes, Sir. How can I serve you?"

"Boy, pull that sofa closer." I pointed to where I wanted it. "And then I want you to pleasure her with your mouth on my command." I looked around.

Both of them moved fast.

I came to stand in front of the two that had initially sparked my interest. Neither raised their heads but their sharp intake of breaths was audible. I snapped my fingers once and they both looked up. Chins high, backs straight, hands sliding down to their sides, their lean, muscular torsos rippling. They would remain in that position until I gave them an order. "You know who I am?" They both nodded and answered at the same time. "Your names," I barked out.

"Abe, Sir."

"Ralph, Sir."

"Do you consent to whatever I ask?"

"Yes, Sir," they both replied.

Good thing since I was in the mood to use the hell out of both of them for the next... I checked my watch. Thirty minutes.

None of them needed a safe word. But I spoke out loud for all to hear. "To stop at any time. Red is your safe word."

Mumbled yes sirs' gave me their full consent.

My attention moved to Abe although both of them complimented each other nicely. Light and dark standing together. Abe, the marginally taller of the two with his midnight black hair and penetrating green eyes and his pale skin was the perfect contrast to Ralph's light hair and grey eyes and sun bronzed skin. Their bodies were built similarly in that they were leanly muscled, and both had soft full lips and strong jaws. No frailness there.

And even better, their eagerness turned me on. I could practically feel their need coming off them in waves, both willing to submit and be used.

"Abe, adjust that bench to be on level with my cock and then I want you on it on all fours."

"Yes, Sir." His uncut cock was already hard and leaking.

My eyes travelled to the male and female sub waiting. She was spread wide, her pink cunt already shiny with her juices. "Mouth on her now, but she cannot come until I do."

They both nodded.

"Ralph." Without looking at him, I gave him an instruction. "Get a condom. Large." He moved fast but yet still graceful.

I moved to stand in front of Abe. "Abe," My tone was firm as I reached for the button on my jeans. Before I had the zipper lowered, he had shifted forward licking across his full pink lips.

Ralph returned and I commanded, "Put it on me."

Ralph tore into the wrapping and eased it down my now hard cock.

"You are to wait and watch."

"Yes, Sir." Ralph knelt before me, his hands at his sides, eagerly awaiting what was to come.

When it came to sex with anyone, there was rarely foreplay. Well, apart from Sasha and Ellis. I enjoyed being playful although it was foreplay under the guise of training.

But others and before all this started it depended solely on my mood and what I needed. Not that the subs I used cared one way or the other. I treated them as sexual objects. Fuck-toys. Used them under the terms of the signed agreement. Or in this case, verbal consent only.

What transpired between us had nothing to do with intimacy or emotion. That was not something I wanted, which often turned out to be the most difficult thing for my contracted subs to handle.

Eventually, all of them wanted more.

Reaching forward, I slid my hand into Abe's hair, twining my fingers in the dark, silky strands as I tugged his head closer. With my other hand firmly gripping my thick cock, I fed it between his lips, watching as he opened wide enough to take all of me. His eyes shuttered momentarily, as though he was savouring me and it turned me on and I sighed out.

This was exactly what I needed.

With my hand still gripping his head, holding him still, I slid my dick in, retreated, letting his smooth, warm lips caress me. Unless I told him otherwise, he would remain like that, allowing me to use him how I wanted.

His mouth was warm, his tongue soft as I pushed in deeper, going slow, enjoying the velvety rasp against delicate nerve endings. It didn't take long before I was painfully hard, continuing to watch as my cock disappeared between his lips and into the hot, wet haven of his mouth. Abe's eyes glazed over as pleasure consumed him, a soft hum escaping his throat from time to time.

Neither sub knew if I would fuck them or not, or even if I would let them come. It was an unspoken rule among subs you didn't come unless explicitly given permission.

"Suck," I commanded, gripping his hair with one hand, rolling my hips forward as I buried my cock deep in his throat. "Fuck, yes."

Ralph's eyes focused on my cock disappearing into Abe's mouth, his pleasure etched on his fine features.

Reaching over, I slid my other hand into Ralph's hair, tightened my grip until his face pinched. "Get his ass ready with your mouth."

Letting him go, Ralph was up on his feet and moved behind him, his hands spreading Abe's ass cheeks wide and then he was rimming Abe but his eyes stayed on me.

I let it go on for a minute or so before changing it up. "No lube. Use your saliva." Ralph stopped rimming and spat on his hand and ran it over his cock. "I want to watch you fuck him."

Abe groaned, on board with the idea. But I cared little for any of their sexual preferences, but given Ralph's eyes lit up, he was perfectly happy to fuck Abe in the ass and Abe never flinched when Ralph thrust inside him, burying himself to the hilt.

From my peripheral vision, the other sub was happily still eating pussy as she writhed around bu watched me. I felt like the maestro of my own chaos, directing a symphony of bodies to my will.

It was a relief from being inside my head.

Ralph grunted forcing Abe to take more of my cock down his throat as my hips maintained a steady rhythm. The pleasure inevitably tightened around my balls as I enjoyed seeing my cock in his mouth, the way his tongue curled around the thick shaft, I didn't care for holding off and when the rise arose, I didn't hold back.

"Suck," I bit out. "Hard."

Ralph moaned at the same time Abe's cheeks hollowed, and it was almost enough to send me over. I fisted both hands in Abe's hair, fucked his face ruthlessly for several more times before jerking him forward and burying my cock as deep in his throat as I could go. Holding it there, knowing his breathing was restricted. A growl tore up my throat as I exploded, followed by a satisfied shudder that travelled down my spine as I released him and stared down.

He looked at me for approval, but he wouldn't get any.

"What the fuck!?" A familiar voice had my shoulders tensing.

Ralph came a second after and I heard the female sub cry out her release.

Ah, fuck.

Calmly I slipped from Abe's mouth and he didn't move until I'd removed the condom and neatly tucked my cock back in my jeans and adjusted my shirt. I turned away from them, to address the voice.

Ellis.

And the scowl he shot my way felt like a heatwave. I was just waiting for my hair to curl up in protest.

But it got worse.

Sasha was standing right next to him, eyes wide, lips parted.

A new sensation slinked its way into my emotional repertoire—guilt.  Who knew I had this hidden feature in my human software? It certainly wasn't listed in the user manual.