i woke up with tears in my eyes dean was not in bed i wanted to go find him but i couldn't move it hurt to much Joey was my best friend and his P.T.S.D  got the best of him I tried so hard to help him but no matter how hard i tried i would never be able to see him mom said his memorial was today which meant he was cremated amanda texted me she was his wife and said to be their andthe time which was at 1:00 and it was 11:00 i forced myself to get up and shower i cried in the shower amanda had said it wasn't formal so wore this

i wore zero makeup because i would cry it off anyway and when dean came up he said " were you going "  " to joey's memorial it's casual jeans and t-shirt if you want to go" he said " of course i do i want to be their for you and your family and meet them" i smiled he went in and took a shower and changed he looked good for a lame outfit

HIS SHIRT ACTUALLY FITS IT'S JUST THE TYPE OF SHOOT IT WAS

 we went to mack's prairie wings in stuttgart which is were i live and met up with amanda we were their first with her i gave her a hug and said " hey amanda how you doing" she said " dealing i guess but i see you brought someone" i said " yeah amanda this is dean my boyfriend" he came up and said " hello ma'am i'm sorry for your loss" she said " thank you and it's just amanda' i said " he's from texas he probably won't not call you formalities he calls me miss as well" he smile's at me and says" i'll try my best miss" i laugh and he looks down with embarrassment even amanda laughs i pull him in for a hug we talk for a while till everyone arrive's and we go to the cemetery it was a beautiful service but when they handed amanda the flag she wailed so bad i screamed and fell to the floor crying dean wrapped his arm's around me holding me on his lap but  i feel other arm's on me when it end's i still have tears dean take me outside my ex seath found me i said " leave me alone" i walked to amanda she said " would you like to come to lunch with us " i said " sure" we went and ate then once we started leaving everyone in my family wanted to meet dean so i introduced and when he said miss or mr everyone laughed they loved him then we went home he supported me all the way

 OH BY THE WAY THIS CHAPTER ACTUALLY HAPPENED EVERYTHING I DO HAVE P.T.S.D BECAUSE I FOUND JOEY AND I WENT WITH MY BF JAKE SO NOT DEAN SO LOVE YOU GUY'S AND THIS TOOK LACE IN JULY LIKE IT DID HERE