Again, I was socially isolated, lonely and all by myself.
With no one to care for me, ask of me, visit or talk to me.

It felt awkward that even people I didn't know somehow were trying to get as far away as they could from me.
They looked at me with disgust as if I were some thrown away rotten egg that had just resurfaced.

The unfortunate way Emma had died was like nothing I ever saw. I still had like a thousand question that no one alive could answer except for the dead.

I mean why would someone that had what she had commit such an act. I mean, even though she wasn't happy with her family, or her social life at school, wasn't I enough to make her happy and fill the void in her?

"Shit shit shit!" I whispered under my breath hitting my hand at the coffee table at the restaurant which I had worked in when my mother was still alive.

The place had so much memories. Even the manager who was like the sweetest man a while ago when things hadn't turned out this was, resented the idea of me coming to the café.

At times, he would pretend that he had closed and was in a hurry to get back home.
At other times he would deny my orders by claiming they didn't have what I ordered.

"Maybe I am cursed, I think I'm bad luck. You should probably get away from me now before I ruin your life too," I sobbed as I laying my head on Lucy's shoulders.

So far she has been my only friend and the only one who understood what I was going through.

"Don't be silly, I mean...my life couldn't be any worse than it already is.
And for the fact that you were the only one who saw me that day with the principal and kept your mouth shut, no one has ever done that for me.
I trust you now.
My life would have been a wreck if it was another person that saw me that day," she raised my head off her shoulder and smiled at me.

"Now was that bad luck or good luck," she giggled, tickling me in all the places her hands could reach.
That actually got me smiling a bit, but didn't make me feel any better about myself.

"Maybe for you, but not for others," I replied.

"Before we moved in to New York, my dad died being a drunk on an accident.
Now that I'm here, my mom's dead too, Jason has gone missing, Emma had died, and Tyler is in the hospital and in a critical state, and is all because of me," I said feeling worse and releasing more sobs.

"Now tell me, how I'm I a good person. I think it would have been better for everyone if I was dead, before I ruin their lives too. I mean they all hate me already and avoid me so...," I paused.

"...I don't know what to do to make things right again, but I wish there was something I could do. At least for things to change for the better," I said holding Lucy's two hands as if I was going to get any solution from them.

...to be continued.