I ran straight to my room immediately we entered our house.
I just wasn't ready to bear all this misfortunes.
I did forgive mom for lying to me but it was still too much for me and too painful.

I missed Jason so much. I started to guess what he could be doing at the moment and where he could be and with who.

I spent the rest of my day in my room crying and trying to put everything together in my mind and understand what was going on.
Mom did knock a few times begging me to come out and if I needed to talk or wanted company but my answer to her just remained.
"Go away mom, please. I just want to be alone now".

She came back the last two times begging me to at least come and eat and have something in my system, but I wasn't even a bit hungry, I already loosed my appetite for food or anything materialistic.

Am sure Lucy would be celebrating right now for finally getting rid of me. And Emma, well I wasn't sure what to think of her anymore.

I thought of calling her but I wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to me and listen to all my burdens.
And by the way, I really didn't need anybody right now. I just wanted to be alone and sink in my misery and thoughts.

I just couldn't imagine my life without mom. That was what pained me the most.
I began to question God why he was doing this to me.
Or better still, why he was letting it happen.

Riiiiiiinnnnng!!!!!!!

I was finally distracted from my thoughts with my phone ringtone.

I looked at the screen and it was non other than Tyler. He was really the last person in my mind that I wanted to talk to or see right now.

But I felt bad for pushing him away for too long.
I decided to pick up at the second call.
But I didn't say a word to him as I answered the call.

"Hello?.. Emmi are you there?" He asked anxiously.

"What do you want from me. I only answered you to tell you to stay away from me.
So please leave me alone!" I snapped at him angrily.

"Please Emmi, I just wanna help you OK?.
Come on, I heard all that has been going on in your life and I just wanted you to know that you could always found on me.
I want to be there for you." His voice sounded so humble and honest as he begged me.

"What do you mean you know all that has been going on in my life.
Trust me Tyler......you don't know anything yet.
I don't know how am feeling. Not at all.". I said sobbing and drying my to tears.

" your mom called me!" He said sounding so happy.

I don't know why mom was so attached to him. She likes him so much and take him as if he were her own son.

"She did what?" I asked furiously.
Why would mom do that to me.

"Please don't get mad OK, she was just worried about you" he said calmly.

"Do you mind if I come over? I promise to be on my best behavior.
I promise I won't hurt you again Emmi. I've missed you so much and I really need to see you again.
I love you Em." He sounded so honest and convincing. But I wasn't so sure if I should let him come over after everything that had happened.

I got to admit I missed him too. He really knew how to put a smile on my face even when I was gloomy.

"Thanks Tyler, I do appreciate your concern but am fine, I just wanna be alone right now.
I gotta go now OK, talk to you later" I hung up immediately after that not giving him a chance to say any other word.

I went into the bathroom to wash off my messed up face.
I stared at myself at the mirror wondering if this was really the best solution for my problems.
Cry wasn't going to solve anything but at least is good to cry out the pain, it makes me feel better even if though it doesn't make any difference to the situation.

Coming out of the bathroom. I  decided to take a short walk under the stars to clear my head and get some fresh air.
I quickly put on my sweater because it was chilly outside.

I loved looking at the stars and counting them.
I always imagined myself as a star and imagined all other stars around it were all the people I surrounded myself with.

Some months ago i loosed one star, then another in just few days ago. And I'll probably be loosing another in a few weeks from now. The stars in the sky were becoming fewer this days. They were slowly disappearing and I couldn't do anything about it.
If i was able to bring them back, I would give everything in my power to bring them back. And of them if possible.

I began to sing the song that dad would always sing to me when I was gloomy. It really cheers me up.
But this time, instead of cheering me up, it made me cry.
I wished so much that he were here again with me.

"Are you OK?" I heard a male voice ask from behind me and was touching my shoulders.
First thought and person that came to my mind was Jason.

"Jason?" I whispered under my breath.

"Oh....am sorry to disappoint you dear Emmi. You're still expecting him?" I turned around as he said that only to find Tyler staring at me. He looked hurt though and demanding.

"Oh.  Tyler. What are you doing here.
I didn't know you were coming" I said trying to hide my face from him to avoid him seeing my tears as I dried them with my sweater.

"You've been crying.
Come on Emmi, please let me in, in your life. You don't have to go through this alone. Am here for you and I'll always be whenever you need it" he seemed so caring. He used his right hand to dry the tears that were dripping down from my eyes.

"I..I...please" I didn't know what to say to him again.
And before i knew it. He pulled me unto himself and hugged me while robbing my back gently.
I have to admit. His hug was very comforting.
It was so warm and cosy.

"I've missed you so much.
And am sorry about everything, I promise you it'll all get better." He whispered to my ear.

"No Tyler, no. It doesn't get better, it only gets worse" I sobbed as I said those words. It hurts so much.

"It will Emmi. I promise.
Just try not to think too much about it.
Your mom might be leaving this world but nothing would make her happier if she takes her last breath staring at her daughter with a smile on her face and knowing she was going to be strong and just fine.
I know this was all too sudden and hard, but you have to try for her.
Brooding in your room a day and crying will only make her remaining days sad and gloomy.
Try to make her have the best time of her live with her daughter.
Your only have little time now, so I suggest you make the best memories out of most of it." He said staring into my eyes.
He sounded so inspiring. And he was also right about everything.
I can't let her live her last days worrying about me.

If I kept on brooding like this, I might end up wasting a valuable amount of time I was supposed to spend with her.
Isolating myself from the world and from her wasn't the right way to make things better.
I need to be there for her. She must be scared too. Someone that knew that her life was about to end, why wouldn't she be frightened.

"Thanks Tyler. You're right, I should make the most out of our time now" I said giving him a tight warm hug as he folded his arms around me too and caressed me.

"I promise to protect you from now on, I'll never let anyone get to you again. Especially that Lucy.
You don't have to worry about a thing from now on. Am here and you can count on me I promise" he said it so calmly and sweetly. I loved how his voice sounded as he said that.
So protective and caring.

He really was a nice guy. The sweetest too.