Today was going to be the hardest of the days, as we were hoping to get across Texas and into Oklahoma. Even if it was just across the border. "Are you ready for our longest day of driving?" Staton asks, putting the key in the ignition of the van. I still was lying in the bed, the sun hadn't even come up yet and we were already talking about hitting the road. How insane was this man? Did he really want to get there that quickly? Why couldn't we just take things slow and spend an extra day in Texas instead of forcing ourselves to drive fourteen hours in one day at a minimum?

Luckily, yesterday we had made it much further than we had expected and were able to basically make it through New Mexico.

"I don't know why you are asking me, I'm not moving from this spot until the sun at least is halfway in the sky," I grumbled, pulling the blanket back over my head.

"So you want me to wake you up when I stop for some lunch?" Staton chuckles, pulling out of the truck stop parking lot and getting back on the freeway.

"Yep, that sounds perfect to me." I groaned, wishing he would leave me alone and allow me to sleep for a little bit longer.

***

"Maple, it's time to get up sweetheart," Staton shouted from the front of the van, his words echoing in my ears louder than they should have. I shot up off the bed, nearly hitting my head on the ceiling above me. I was going to have to get used to what it was like living in a van, and that wasn't something I was excited about. I groaned, getting off of the bed so that I could actually stretch well enough to get rid of the sleepy ache in my muscles. It was insane how you could do so little and yet feel so sore all at the same time.

"What time is it?" I asked, looking around for anything that could tell me the time.

"It's just before noon, exactly when I said I was going to wake you up. How did you sleep for so long? I thought you were just joking, I didn't realize you would need to actually catch up for the rest of your life. You can take the night shift when I just can't keep my eyes open anymore." Staton chuckled at his own comment, and obviously, he thought he was pretty funny.

"Yeah yeah, it's not my fault the back of the van is bumpy enough to rock me back to sleep any time I would possibly wake up."

"Oh so now you are blaming it on my precious van, for you being so lazy?" Staton faked hurt, holding his hand up to his chest as if I had stabbed him.

"Oh grow up," I mumbled. I was not ready to mess around, all I wanted to do was to go back to bed.

I took my seat in the passenger's chair, pulling the seatbelt over myself. The road was smooth, and a steady stream of cars passed us as Staton did his best to keep up with the speed limit.

My stomach growled, pulling me out of my trance. I unbuckled and grabbed a box of Cheeze-its before sitting back down and putting my seatbelt back on.

"Doesn't that feel so stupid?"

"Does what feel so stupid?"

"Putting your seatbelt on?" I looked at him with a sense of confusion. He had his own seatbelt on so why would it feel stupid for me to put my own on?

"No, it feels safe," I mumbled.

"No, it's a good thing, I just mean it feels weird because I don't put a seatbelt on inside my house, but technically we are in our home. You've been sleeping for hours while I've been driving and yet now that you are in this very chair it's not common to put a seat belt on. It just doesn't make sense to me. I've been up here thinking about it for a little while."

"Wow, you must be really bored." I couldn't help but look at him like he was the weirdest person on the planet. Here he would be thinking about real problems, or trying to figure out how we were going to make money in South Carolina, and yet he was too busy worrying about how wearing a seatbelt in a moving vehicle could be considered weird.

"I'm not bored, I'm busy driving, it was just a thought I had when I was putting mine on this morning."

"I guess, if I really have to sit down and think about it, you are kind of right. It is weird that I have to wear one when I'm sitting here in this little bubble, but anywhere else in the van and it would be completely appropriate to not have one on."

"I like it better when you are sitting in the seat next to me." He said, holding the words under his breath so I could barely hear them.

"What was that?" I asked, grabbing a handful of the crackers, and tossing them into my mouth.

"I said..." He paused for a moment. "That I really like it when you are sitting here next to me and I think you should do it more often." A smile as wide as the grand canyon covered his face. He was beaming from ear to ear over his cheesy comment.

"Well, then don't start your drive at four in the morning and I'll sit up here for longer."

"Sorry I wanted to get there earlier than midnight." He chuckled, turning the signal on to get around a vehicle.

"How has the drive been going? I know I've been asleep for a little while, so tell me, what have you been doing up here to keep yourself entertained?"

"Listening to you snore." He was quick, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth I could feel the anger building up in my chest.

"I do not snore!"

***

What felt like an eternity ended up actually only being eight more hours. When we saw the Oklahoma state sign, both of us were able to breathe a sigh of relief. We had finally made it. Now, all we had to do was find the first rest stop and pull over for the night.

"Woo hoo!" I shouted, seeing the services sign only about twenty feet past the state line. "Looks like we can finally get some rest."

"Oh man, I couldn't be more happy to see that rest stop sign. I almost gave up back there about an hour or two ago. Every time we would drive past a sign that would say next rest top in fifty-plus miles, I almost pulled in and said well this is good enough for me." Staton shook his head, taking the exit to the rest stop.

"You know you could have, we aren't in a hurry and I'm not sure why you think we need to race the clock so much."

"Because I don't want to waste any time in states we know we don't want to end up in. I want to just get to the east coast so we can start building our life together."

"We already have started building our life together, can't you see that. This is a big part of our life." I said. Staton smiled at my response.

"I know, but I couldn't want to have kids in the van."

"Wait, you are thinking about having kids?" I know Staton and I had talked about it before but this didn't seem like the right time to be bringing it back up. We had always talked about after college we would find ourselves a place to live, get married, and then have kids a few years into our marriage.

"Yeah, once we get a place and they could have some space to roam around, I think I'm ready. Honestly, I've been ready for a while. I think you will be the most amazing mother in the world, and I can't wait to watch you take care of our children."

"I'm going to be a horrible mother, I've had the worst example."

"She wasn't always so bad though, you could really learn a lot from her." Staton's response stuck a knife in my heart.

"Why would I ever want to learn anything from her? How could you even say something like that?"

"I only mean that in the best way possible. You can't tell me you don't have a single good memory with your mom, and that's beside the point. You can learn what not to do by watching what she did wrong. I mean, obviously, she did a lot wrong since you were so willing to run away, but maybe some things weren't so wrong."

Staton seemed to have a point, but the more he talked about it the more the anger built up in my chest. What gave him the right to judge my relationship with my mother? No, I honestly couldn't think of a positive experience with her. I guess you could go back to when she took the pregnancy test with me. That could be considered something that normal people would look at as a good thing. But in all honesty, I didn't know if my mother was excited to have me or not. My father always wanted kids, but when he passed away and my mother showed her true side, I couldn't help but think she never really wanted anything to do with me.

"No, I honestly don't have a good memory of her." I couldn't help but whisper my response. I didn't really want to get into it with Staton. I wasn't sure how I felt about the whole statement he made. I wanted to be happy that he said he thought I would be a good mother, but how could he think that when he knew who raised me? We were lucky that I was a good person.

"I'm sorry I brought it up. It was kind of too much and I understand that. Can we just not talk about it for a little while and move on from the topic. Come on let's go for a walk." I was so caught up in my thoughts I barely heard a word he had said, and I didn't even notice the van was parked in a parking spot. I guess this was home sweet home for the night.

"I don't want to go for a walk." The words came out harsher than I had meant them to. I didn't want to. I needed to stretch my legs, and I knew that, but suddenly the thought of a walk seemed too tiresome and I just wanted to go back to sleep.

"Come on Maple, I'm sorry I mentioned anything." Staton seemed sincere, as he placed his hand on my thigh.

"I'm not mad at you."

"But you are mad and that's not what I wanted."

"I don't even know if I'm mad, I honestly don't know what I feel like. I want to be a good mother, but I don't have a good example. We are lucky I'm somewhat good as a person because I barely got an example from that. My dad was the one who really made me who I am, and well he's been gone for years. I miss him so much and I don't want my kids to feel like they don't have good supportive parents." I could feel the emotion bubbling up in my throat.

"You aren't in this alone. I want our kids to know how much I care about them too. My parents never let me have my own say in things, I will not do that to our children." He paused for a moment. "Now come on, let's go for that walk so we can come back, cuddle up, and head to bed."