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Chan had told Changbin that he'd like for him and the rest of the guys to have a meeting where he lived, so here Changbin was, putting on his usual attire that consisted of hoodies and jeans.
It was Saturday morning, around nine o'clock, because Changbin wanted to be at Chan's apartment as early as possible. The earlier he went, the more information he'd gather about that place that he needed to go to.
Changbin's mother was already out for work, so the house was devoid of noise. Usually, Changbin didn't mind, and actually liked silence, but now it felt sort of eerie, like something bad was going to happen.
After eating the quick breakfast that he whipped up for himself, he put on his beanie and mask and he stepped out of the house, locking the door afterwards.
Changbin prepared himself to start walking down the street, but slowed down his steps when Felix headed out of his own house at that second.
"Hey Changbin," Felix flashed his familiar bright smile, "where are you going?"
"I'm just going out," Changbin replied, trying to keep his response vague. The butterflies in his stomach spun around as soon as Felix moved closer to him. "Are you, uh, going out too?"
Felix nodded, before hooking his arm around Changbin's own. "Yeah. I got bored so I decided to just go out and see the town, I guess. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come along, but I guess I don't need to now. It's like we're going on a date, but it's not a date. Don't know if that makes any sense."
Changbin shrugged to hide the fact that Felix's words made him nervous. He needed to see Chan and the rest of the guys, and he had to do that without Felix getting involved or knowing what was happening with him.
"You look really adorable in that peach coloured hoodie of yours. It looks almost pink. I didn't know that pink would look good on you, until now," Felix stated as they walked down the usual road taht directed them to the bus stop.
Changbin pushed his mask up his face some more to hide how pink his face was getting at Felix's compliment. "I don't look good in pink."
Felix shot the half demon a sincere smile. "You do."
Changbin huffed, bringing out bouts of laughter from Felix as they entered a bus. Changbin ignored the Australian and looked for a seat at the back, looking out the window when Felix sat next to him.
"Where do you want us to go first?" Felix asked, clasping his and Changbin's hands together.
The half demon stared at their hands worriedly, considering that there were other people entering the bus, but Felix didn't seem to mind that. The problem wasn't that they were both males (as the people around here didn't really care about who you chose to date), but the fact that it was already well known that Changbin was a demon hybrid, and he didn't want anyone looking down on Felix because of that.
Changbin stared out of the window again. He didn't know how to say his next words without sounding mean or selfish. "The thing is...I have to go somewhere. Alone. For some time. We... we can always hang out later, you know?"
Felix blinked, but nodded. "Okay. But...where are you going, though?" It was hard to keep the disappointment Felix felt out of his tone, so Changbin heard it loud and clear.
Changbin slowly shook his head. "I...I can't tell. I'm sorry."
So you won't even tell me where you're going, either, Felix wanted to say, but the words disintegrated before they could make their way up his throat. "...Okay. What time are you going to be done? We can always spend time together afterwards."
"...I'll call you when I'm done," Changbin replied. "Definitely."
Felix's face brightened, but only slightly. He busied himself with playing with Changbin's hand, and that distracted them both for a while.
_______
"I'm guessing that we'll part ways now?" Felix asked, shoving both his hands into his pockets.
Changbin looked at Felix and nodded. Guilt and an array of second thoughts raged through his mind at what he was doing, but he convinced himself that what he was doing was the right thing. It would be better for everyone if Felix didn't know about what was happening, as Changbin wouldn't be able to handle seeing a sad or heartbroken Felix.
"See you later, Bin," Felix mumbled, giving Changbin's hand a slight squeeze before letting go and heading the opposite direction.
Changbin felt his lips curl into a fond smile, because Felix had called him by a nickname that he absolutely despised but didn't mind once being called it. His eyes started feeling cold, and he wiped at them before any unnecessary tears would form.
_______
Finding that area that Chan had called Viribus wasn't that hard for Changbin, but he felt like he'd lost his way a couple of times. He even asked Chan for directions at one point, but soon enough, he was at his destination.
Creatures that weren't human cornered Changbin everywhere he looked, but he didn't spot any Vampires, and that was good, considering how bad they could get.
Changbin felt like he should fit in around here, but he couldn't. Because, while he was a demon, he was also a human, too. That fact unknowingly drew an invisible border between him and the otherworldy creatures, and he felt like he wouldn't be able to cross it.
He had to walk for a while to get to Chan's apartment, and he heaved a sigh of relief when he came across the building.
As soon as he got to the door, he knocked on it and waited for someone to open the door.
Seungmin ended up doing so. "Hey, Changbin," he smiled, "come in."
"Thanks," Changbin answered. Before he could come in though, Seungmin looked past him with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "...What?"
"Hello."
Changbin's heart felt like it had dropped down to his stomach. He quickly turned around, eyes widening in blatant surprise when Felix's face greeted his vision. "What--what are you doing here?"
Felix smiled, before whispering, "I followed you. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."
One part of Changbin felt grateful that Felix had gone through great lengths just to make sure that nothing bad had happened to him, but another part, the much bigger part, was both angry and scared, because Felix hadn't listened to him and had chosen to follow him instead.
"You need to go, please," Changbin whispered back.
Before Felix could reply, another person stepped up to the door.
"Changbin, I'm glad you're here." Woojin. "And who's this?"
"I'm Felix," Felix introduced with a grin. "Changbin's boyfriend."
It was clear that Woojin looked confused at what Felix was doing here, but the expression quickly dissolved and he opened the door wider to let them come in.
"You guys look cute together," Seungmin mused. "You're a human, right? That's...surprising."
"Don't be rude," Woojin scolded the elf, before closing the door. "Anyone can like whoever they want."
The previously silent apartment grew noisy because Jeongin was running everywhere with Chan hot on his tail, and Minho suddenly popped up out of nowhere, holding an heavy looking spell book with an expression of accomplishment written on his face.
Changbin was sure everyone could feel his anxiety if they looked at him hard enough, and after everyone had taken a seat after Felix introduced himself to everyone, the Australian softly poked his arm and asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," Changbin shook his head. Everything was not going according to plan. He couldn't tell Felix to leave, and everyone else had seemed to have warmed up to the Australian already. He didn't want Felix to know about his secret. He didn't want that at all.
"I'm sorry I came," Felix muttered so only Changbin would hear him. "I didn't know it'd affect you this much. I was just worried, you know? And...I, uh, felt kinda jealous, because I thought you found other people that you found more fun and interesting than I am."
Changbin was puzzled that Felix thought that way, because that wasn't the case at all. "It's okay. Just--don't say anything until we leave this place."
"Sure," Felix agreed, his facial expression neutral.
"About the process of going to Faey," Chan spoke, catching Changbin's attention, "I think we can be able to go there. I've been talking to a fairy that lives around here, and he said he can lead us to one of the portals that can take us to the place."
"That's good," Seungmin smiled, looking happy for Changbin. "Woojin and Minho have been working on that fata contra spell, especially Minho."
"Yeah," Minho agreed. "I have to make sure I say the words right, because the spell can be very dangerous if chanted incorrectly. Worst case scenario, Changbin'd die on the scene."
Jeongin smacked Minho's arm and told him to shut up, while Felix obviously looked surprised.
Changbin avoided looking at Felix as he said his next words. "Best case scenario?"
"...You don't die," Woojin replied, though he sounded a bit hesitant. He must've sensed that Felix didn't know about this arrangement before, and now he looked cautious. "You...get healed and your life span will increase."
Changbin couldn't shake off Felix's stare. "...Where's the portal?"
Chan chose to speak this time after noticing the tense atmosphere that had taken over Felix and Changbin. "Jungkook said he couldn't tell me, but he'd show it to us. It opens two days after Halloween, and Seungmin and Woojin will adjust the earth's time so we'd only be gone for one day. We'd have to hurry though, because the portal would close up anytime after twenty four hours."
"That's good," Changbin smiled, though it was slightly forced. Sure, he was glad that he was one step closer to getting healed, but he didn't like the way Felix was staring at him. He was nervous to face Felix head on, so he could only stare at the table in front of him and hope that the meeting would soon be over.
_______
Felix was strangely quiet the second he and Changbin left Chan's apartment, and didn't utter a word when they took the bus home too.
It troubled Changbin to no end, considering the fact that he knew why Felix was being like that, but he didn't know how to approach the subject.
It when they were finally heading to their homes that Changbin decided to end the silence. "Felix, please talk to me." He held Felix's hand, trying to obtain his attention.
Changbin's chest stiffened when Felix removed his grip.
"You hid the fact that you're dying away from me, and didn't want me to know. That's why you didn't want me to follow you to where you were going... right?" Felix's voice sounded soft against the whirring of the autumn wind.
Changbin looked down, and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you worried."
"And you figured not letting me know was the best thing," Felix stated, but it sounded more like a question.
"I didn't, and I still don't want to make you feel sad," Changbin muttered, his heart pounding irregularly against his ribcage. "I...I just wanted you to feel happy around me and not have to worry about me dying anytime soon."
Felix stepped closer to Changbin. "What exactly is wrong, with you? You...you can tell me, you know? I can handle it."
Changbin drew in a shaky breath before replying. "Demons hybrids...have short life spans. I...I won't live long, a-and my body's slowly shutting down. I-I can get cured though, but I'm...not sure if it'll work one hundred percent." He met Felix's eyes. "I just need you to trust me."
Something in Felix's expression broke, and Changbin didn't know how to fix it.
"I--Okay," Felix breathed out, trying to hide the obvious emotion behind his words. He glanced sideways at watched the cars that passed them on the road which held passengers that were oblivious to his inner turmoil. "...I trust you."
Changbin stretched out his hand to hold Felix's own, and this time, the Australian let him do it. "I really didn't want you to follow me, but now that you did, I can't do anything about it. Just don't be sad, Felix. I'll be fine, I'll be okay."
You're trying so hard to hide the fact that you're crying, which was what I wanted to avoid all this time, Changbin thought as he gently swung his and Felix's arms back and forth. He really wanted to cheer the Australian up. "I'll be fine, really."
Felix nodded, but didn't say anything.
"Hey, let's head to your house and watch some movies, or do anything you want, really," Changbin suggested, trying to fill up the dreary atmosphere. "It'll be fun, trust me."
Felix smiled, though it was very small and almost inconsequential. He wasn't even looking at Changbin, and his cheeks and nose were blotched with red, and it wasn't due to blushing.
"Felix, please stop being like this. I don't like it at all. Can't you just...forget about all that's happening? I told you I'll be fine."
"I can't," Felix spoke up, harshly biting on his lower lip. "I can't do it. I can't just forget everything like that, a-and I don't want to. I freaking care about you so much that I--I can't bear the thought of losing you." A tear rolled down Felix's cheek, and he quickly wiped it off with his sleeve. "I don't want to lose you..."
Changbin inched closer to Felix and wrapped his arms around his form. "And you won't, okay? I promise."
Don't make promises you can't keep.
_______
"Are you going to Jisung's party?" Changbin asked, staring at Felix who was next to him, facing the ceiling.
"...I dunno," Felix whispered. The bright blue lava lamps lit up the otherwise dark room and casted a light on Felix that made him look ghostly and sort of unreal. "I guess he invited you too?"
"...Yeah." Changbin sat up and peered over Felix, distracting the taller male. "I'm sorry if you're mad at me...for everything that happened. I was scared and I just wanted to make you keep smiling..."
Felix softly sniffed, before interlacing his and Changbin's hands together. "I don't blame you at all. I probably would've done the same if I was in your position. And it's impossible for me to stay mad at you."
Changbin nodded, lying down once more. This time though, he was closer to Felix and his head was now on Felix's shoulder. The half demon could almost hear Felix's heartbeat, due to how loud it sounded. It felt like a stormy sea, or an angry wave. Felix's mind too was obviously racing. He was with Changbin, but he also wasn't.
This was the closest Changbin had been to Felix physically, yet he still felt like they were miles and miles apart.
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