Chapter 12
"Chan-woo," he heard his name being called in the far distance.
As he groaned, Chan-woo grabbed the soft blanket and pulled it up under his chin before he turned over onto his side. He buried his head into the soft fabric of the back of the couch. A hand gently rubbed his back as the person chuckled lightly. Goosebumps rose on his skin and a low moan left his lips.
"Channie-ah," the silky voice coaxed him out of his sleep. "Channie-ah you need to wake up."
"No, too tired" he groaned only to bury his head further away from the light.
"So cute," the other person cooed, still gently rubbing his back. "Listen to Hyung and wake up. We have a big day."
Chan-woo groaned as he turned his head and pried open one eye. The bright morning sun that shone in through the window silhouetted the person that leant above him. As he squinted his eye, he could make out the familiar angular features of the boy along with the voice he had heard. He pouted with a frown as he looked around the room in confusion.
"H-How did I get on the couch, Hoseok Hyung?" Chan-woo asked tiredly. "I remember being at the table last."
"I carried you over after you refused to move," the older laughed at the memory.
"Oh," was all he could manage to say as his tired brain comprehended the information.
He closed his open eye and turned his head away as he felt a blush rise upon his cheeks. Chan-woo hated the fact he was touched while asleep, let alone the fact he had been carried. Although he felt a little more at ease that it was someone he trusted. As he continued to lie with his eyes closed and enjoying the soft touches on his back, he couldn't help but worry if Hoseok had felt how skinny and light he was last night.
"Come on, wake up. I'm not leaving until you are up," Hoseok whispered as he leant forward and swept the soft hair out of the younger's face.
"Why," whined Chan-woo as he rolled onto his back with a pout firm on his face and looked up at Hoseok tiredly.
"We have a photoshoot today and you are coming with us to watch," Hoseok said while a big smile crept onto his face. "You have to get up now so you can be ready when we need to leave."
"But I just want to sleep, Hyung," he huffed tiredly while his eyes closed on their own again. "Too tired to move."
"I'll make you breakfast if you promise to wake up," he said to coax the younger to get up. "Come on, sit up so you aren't tempted to fall asleep again."
"Mmmm," he huffed and held out his hands tiredly since his eyes refused to open still.
Hoseok chuckled as he grabbed onto the outreached hands and easily lifted the younger into a seated position. He grabbed the blanket that had fallen into his lap and wrapped it around the small shoulders, making sure that Chan-woo was wrapped up comfortably. He smiled at the little pout that had settled on his face, the younger looking too cute as he tried hard to wake up. He swept the hair away from Chan-woo's forehead before he finally straightened up and walked into the kitchen.
"What do you want?" he asked loudly and chuckled as he saw the younger jump slightly.
"In the overhead cupboard on the top shelf, there is a box of muesli cereal. I'll just have that, please Hyung," Chan-woo turned his head and smiled tiredly as he watched Hoseok get his breakfast ready for him.
"Morning," a tired voice suddenly said, only causing Chan-woo to jump in fright once more. "So jumpy today Channie-ah."
"That's because you scared me Yoongi Hyung," he pouted and pulled the blanket around him tighter as he watched Yoongi shuffle towards him. "People jump when they aren't expecting something. It's normal."
"He's half asleep," Hoseok chimed in as he put away the box in the cupboard. "Leave him alone."
"Don't tell me what to do," huffed Yoongi in annoyance as he sat down right beside the very tired looking Chan-woo. He placed an arm around him and rested his head back against the couch before he rolled it to the side to stare down at the quiet Chan-woo through half opened eyes. "Sleep well?"
"Hmm?" hummed Chan-woo as he turned his head to look at the older. "Oh, yeah. And you, Hyung?"
"Not enough sleep," he answered while he tiredly stared back at the younger, a soft smile graced his face.
"Yoongi Hyung decided to stay up late working on a song instead of sleeping," said Hoseok as he walked closer with the bowl of cereal in his hands. "He doesn't know when to stop."
"Aish, you only have yourself to blame then Yoongi Hyung," chuckled Chan-woo when he felt Yoongi squeeze his upper arm in warning, before he grabbed the offered bowl and tiredly picked up the spoon. "Thank you Hoseok Hyung."
"It's okay! Eat up and get ready. Both of you," he instructed as he walked back into the kitchen.
As Chan-woo settled in and begun to eat silently, he couldn't help but feel a big wave of happiness surge through him. Never before had he had anyone make him breakfast. It made him feel cared for, a feeling he was not used to. He had to wonder if perhaps he should let his barriers down and accept the care, or hold back a little, until he was certain this wasn't just an act.
A noise down the hallway drew his attention back to the present. He turned his head to see Namjoon and Jin slowly walk towards the living room. The moment their eyes connected, a look of anger passed on both of their faces, making him blush and look down at his food in shame. He refused to look up as they both sat down on the empty couch in front of him.
"You should be getting ready Yoongi Hyung," said Namjoon and shook his head in disappointment.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll be ready," he answered as he shuffled even closer to Chan-woo and sighed as he relaxed further into the couch.
"Go eat something, now," sternly said Jin as he got up and walked away to the kitchen.
"Not hungry," Yoongi sighed in annoyance, just wanting to sit and rest his eyes in peace.
"Yoongi Hyung?" whispered Chan-woo as he turned his head towards the older. Yoongi hummed while he opened his eyes and lifted his head, looking at him in concern. "Listen to Jin Hyung and eat. If I have to eat, so do you. It's not good to skip meals. I don't want you getting sick like me."
Chan-woo bit his lower lip out of habit, worried about Yoongi not eating properly. Part of him understood now why Daniel and Bang PD-nim had been so concerned after his trip to the hospital. He continued to stare at Yoongi with worried filled eyes as he hoped the other would listen to Jin. He saw the older think about something before he looked at him and the tiniest smile reached his lips.
"Fine," he sighed and took his arm away from around his shoulders. He stood up, paused briefly to stretch his muscles, and looked down at the younger that had gone back to happily eating his food. "But only for you, Channie-ah."
The younger laughed softly as he happily watched Yoongi walk in to the kitchen. He was really glad he could make a difference for one person. And he truly did mean it when he said he didn't want Yoongi to get sick like him. It would hurt him to see Hoseok or Yoongi hurting. He turned his attention back to his cereal and kept eating so he could be ready in time. Thoughts quickly consumed with what he should wear for the day.
Chan-woo was brought out of his thoughts as he felt someone sit down beside him. He looked to his left and saw Hoseok with a bowl of a different type of cereal. Receiving a smile from the older, he smiled back before he turned away with a small blush on his face. He wasn't used to having so much kind attention on him, Hoseok and Yoongi showing it to him almost every minute he was with them. It was an odd feeling.
A soft yawn suddenly overtook him which caught him by surprise. He put the spoon that was halfway to his mouth back down and wiped the tears that had come to surface away. As he went to pick up his spoon once more, his eyes happened to catch the annoyed stare from the person that sat across from him. Namjoon sat there with a passive-aggressive posture, annoyed stare slowly turned into a glare the longer Chan-woo looked at him.
As he felt his face turn red and more tears begun to well, he looked down at his lap in shame. He couldn't believe he allowed himself to relax into the environment even a little bit. Whenever he was around Hoseok and Yoongi, he could forget about the other boys and how much he was unwanted. But it was in moments like this he was rudely reminded how much of a burden and nuisance he was for the rest of them.
Suddenly, Chan-woo wasn't feeling hungry anymore. He stood up and walked into the kitchen. He quickly rinsed his bowl out in the sink and stacking it on the rack beside it. He simply ignored the looks thrown at him from Jin as he walked passed him over to his large duffle bag. As he pulled out everything he'd need to get ready with in the bathroom, he heard another pair of footsteps walk out into the living room, but ignored it as he focused on trying not to let the tears fall.
With head hung low and arms full of items, Chan-woo walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him with his foot. Messily, he dumped everything on to the vanity, leant against it with his two hands and breathed in deeply. He looked into the mirror and saw how pathetic he truly appeared. His eyes were watering and on tears were on the edge of falling. The bags under his eyes had also only grown darker since he had first noticed them the other day.
Chan-woo shook his head free from the little nasty voice that wanted to intrude on him. He grabbed his toiletries bag and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste. Absentmindedly, he begun to brush his teeth. Of course as much as he tried to fight off the thoughts, they always managed to overpower his will. He thought back on Namjoon and Jin's treatment towards him moments ago. Of course it hurt and he wished he could do something to change it. But he knew there was nothing he could do.
As he sighed to himself, he rinsed his mouth, placed his toothbrush away, pulled off of his long sleeved shirt and discarded it lazily on the ground. He leant forward and inspected his bruise on his neck. His eyebrows lifted in surprise as he realised it looked like it had started to fade slightly. The edges had marginally shrunk and the colour was less of a dark grey and more of a light grey. Excitedly, he lifted his left arm, turned his body towards the mirror and sighed in disappointment when he saw no improvement.
"Holy shit!" a voice yelled loudly which caused Chan-woo to jump and turn towards the source in fear.
The door to the bathroom had been opened. The other person stared at his naked top half in shock. Chan-woo gasped out as he looked at the person who had intruded and cursed himself silently for forgetting to lock the door in his haste. His heart raced, his body was frozen still, and his breath had left his body as he stared wide eyed at Taehyung. Tears begun to form in his eyes from the shame. Yet he found he couldn't move to grab something to cover his body.
"What's happening?" the familiar voice of Hoseok brought him out of his shock.
Chan-woo's watery eyes saw Yoongi and Hoseok come to the doorframe and look at him. Their faces were immediately overcame with shock which quickly turned to sadness. The two of them walked in as the tears begun to rapidly fall and soft sobs came out of him. He hung his head as his body was taken over by the raw emotions. He felt two sets of strong arms wrap around him and their hands rub his bare back soothingly.
"J-Just leave me a-alone," he sobbed, wanting to hide forever after they had seen his broken body.
"No," Hoseok chocked out, his voice raw with sadness. "No, never."
"H-He knows. Y-You know. I-I need to be alone," he sobbed out as he weakly tried pushing the pair away from him. "Please."
One pair of arms left him before he heard the door close loudly which made him jump at the sound. Through the sounds of his sobs, he heard loud yelling on the other side of the door. He could make out Yoongi's voice but couldn't quite hear what he was saying. He knew that Hoseok was still with him, holding him gently, hands caressed his skin softly. His heart hurt even more as he heard the sniffling from the older signalling the other had started to cry as well.
His arms moved on their own. Each hand gripped the back of Hoseok's shirt near his shoulder blades. He pulled the older against him and buried his head in the crook of his neck as he sobbed harder. He felt terrible for causing the other to be upset. Hoseok's arms moved so one hand was cradling the back of his head and the other firmly held the back of his shoulders. Hoseok rested his right cheek against Chan-woo's hair.
The two stood still as they cried out their hearts together after the situation that had just unfolded. They could still hear Yoongi yelling in the background, occasionally broken by the low toned voice of Taehyung. Chan-woo's thoughts were consumed by the shame and guilt of his secret finally being revealed to two people he trusted and one person he didn't trust. One person who hated him. One person who despised his very presence. One person who openly talked about his feelings towards him.
On the contrary, Hoseok's thoughts were consumed by the shock of how far the extent of the abuse actually went. The moment he had seen the large, ugly bruise of the ribs, he understood why it had hurt the other night when Yoongi had pulled on that arm. He was almost too consumed with that particular bruise that he almost didn't notice all of the cuts and smaller bruises that littered the younger's torso. His heart hurt knowing Chan-woo had never been protected and loved for before, many of the younger's reactions made much more sense now.
"Come on, let's get a shirt on you," Hoseok whispered as he slowly pulled back enough to look down at him. "You can come to my room to finish getting ready."
Hoseok brought one of his hands around to lightly hold Chan-woo's chin. He lifted his head up and tried to hold back more tears as he saw how broken the younger looked with tears streaming down his face. Using the sleeve of his own shirt, he wiped away the tears gently, only pausing briefly after he saw him flinch from the touch. His heart broke as he completely understood why he had flinched.
Silently, he let go of Chan-woo and grabbed the clean white t-shirt that was on the vanity. He bunched up the bottom of the shirt and held it up in front of the younger, gesturing for him to put his arms in. The younger looked exhausted as he lifted both arms and placed them through the sleeves. Hoseok helped him as he placed the shirt over his head and straightened it out over his battered and bruised body.
Hoseok grabbed the rest of the clean clothes, the towel, the t-shirt on the ground and the toiletries before he turned around and opened the door. Yoongi was still breathing down Taehyung's neck, no longer yelling but quietly threatening the younger. Hoseok gently pulled Chan-woo out of the bathroom as the younger froze when he and Taehyung locked eyes. He guided the youngest down the hallway and to his room on the right.
"Here, sit down," Hoseok said after he closed his bedroom door and walked over to the one of the beds. He placed everything down as neatly as he could, before he gently stroked the tear stained cheeks in front of him. "It's okay. Yoongi and I will make sure he won't tell anyone. You're okay, just focusing on your breathing for a bit. Okay?"
"Okay," Chan-woo looked up sadly as he slightly leant into the warm touch. "Thank you Hyung."
"What for?" the older frowned as he straightened up and walked over to his closet.
"For being there for me and helping me through that," he whispered while he pulled on his oversized, light blue hoodie.
"No need to thank me," he said as he turned around to smile sadly at Chan-woo. "I'm sorry that happened. It was the last thing you probably needed right now, hey?"
"Yeah," he sighed as he ran his hands down his chest to flatten his hoodie out.
"I'll be back in a few moments, I'm going to change in the bathroom," Hoseok said as he walked over to his door with his clothes. "I'll knock to make sure you are done changing as well. Alright?"
"Thanks Hyung," he nodded with a blush as he watched the older leave from where he sat on the bed.
The door closed and he breathed out a shaky breath. He allowed his body to relax for a moment as he gathered himself up after the emotional breakdown. He was exhausted from it all. From the crying, from the physical pain, from the emotional pain, and from the shock of his secret being revealed. Life wasn't fair. It never had been. He was growing tired from it always being against him and from never having his way.
He stood up, took off his pants he had been wearing since yesterday morning, and placed them on top of his dirty long sleeved shirt. He found the black sweatpants he had grabbed out earlier and quickly put them on in fear of anyone walking in despite Hoseok having reassured him he would knock. He sighed as he sat back down on the bed. He focused on taking a few deep breaths in and out, it was out of his control now, there was nothing he could do now. Taehyung knew. There was nothing he could do anymore except accept it and try to move on.
"Come in," he said after he heard a knock on the door.
Hoseok poked his head in cautiously before he opened the door wider and walked in. Behind him, Yoongi walked in and closed the door. The pair immediately came over and sat on either side of him. Chan-woo sheepishly looked at Yoongi. Right away he felt the tears start to well again from the shame. He gently placed his head on the oldest shoulder and sighed as he felt Hoseok rub his back a few seconds later.
"I'm sorry," Yoongi whispered into the quiet. "I didn't realise it was that bad. You didn't deserve any of it. You didn't deserve to have gone through what you did. I'm so sorry, Channie-ah."
"Don't be Yoongi Hyung," he whispered back and couldn't help but flinch as he felt a hand appear on his thigh.
"I understand why you are so jumpy," Yoongi continued whispering. "And I understand why you wear the clothes you do. And I understand why you were crying the other night. And I understand why you hate alcohol. I understand. I may not understand it all yet, but I will learn and I will help you in the future."
"You don't have to," he could feel the tears start to fall again.
"But we will," said Hoseok as he continued to rub his back gently.
"I-I don't know what to say," he whispered as he wiped his tears away.
"Because you've never really experienced anything like this before, right?" Hoseok asked.
"Only once with my old boss," he whispered. "He knew some of it, but not much. He would always try his best to help me when I was struggling, but there wasn't much he could do because I didn't want them finding out someone knew what they were doing to me."
"I'm sorry," Hoseok whispered as the pair intently listened.
"A-And the dance coach I had for the last week, I had to tell him because he saw everything as he took me to the hospital. He told me I could go to him if I need anything from now on. But it feels awkward, you know? Bang PD-nim Hyung only knows a tiny bit of my home life. I haven't found the courage to tell him everything yet. A-And then it's just you two that know. So I'm not used to being cared for and having people to rely on. I've always suffered silently. I always thought that was the way I should live my life," Chan-woo whispered out in a shaky breath, tears streamed down his face.
"Awe, my poor Channie-ah," whispered Yoongi while he rubbed his hand up and down the younger's thigh.
"Never keep anything like this to yourself again," Hoseok said as he gave the younger an awkward side hug before continuing to rub his back. "We are here for you and you can tell us anything you are comfortable with. Same with that dance coach and Bang Hyung."
"I don't deserve you guys," he whispered as more tears fell from the overwhelming emotions. "Thank you."
Before either boy could reply, there was a knock on the bedroom door. The three looked up to see Namjoon had poked his head in. The instant Chan-woo locked eyes with Namjoon, he looked down in fear. He tried to hide his face from view by wiping his tears away with his jumper sleeves. Neither Hoseok nor Yoongi moved away from him and continued comforting him with their gently touches.
"We need to leave now," Namjoon said after a few tense seconds. "Otherwise we'll be late."
"Give us two seconds and then we'll meet you at the door," Hoseok said and waited until the door had been closed once more before he let out a sigh. "Just stay by us today, okay? And try not to think about things too much."
Chan-woo nodded his head in understanding and looked up as Hoseok stood before him with his hands out. He grabbed the hands and stood up before he was pulled into a hug almost instantly. He let out a shaky sigh as he melted into the warm embrace. Hoseok pulled away and wiped the tear stains away. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and he was softly turned around to face Yoongi. A soft, sad smile graced the eldest's face before he pulled Chan-woo gently into a hug.
The moment Yoongi pulled back, he grabbed one of Chan-woo's hands and smiled at him. The action made the younger blush and look at the ground. Hoseok smiled at the pair and opened the bedroom door as he lead the way out to the living room. The second they appeared into the room, it went silent and all eyes were on the trio. Chan-woo nervously squeezed Yoongi's and kept his eyes down.
"Ready to go?" Yoongi asked the group in annoyance as he squeezed the small hand back.
"Yep," Namjoon answered quietly. He stood up and ushered everyone out of the door as all eyes were glued to the trio. "Come on, let's go."
Chan-woo quickly pulled Yoongi over to his belongings and squatted down to grab his phone and wallet. He never let go of the other's hand while he collected his belongings. He smiled at the older as he stood up and the two walked out of the door that had been held open by Hoseok. The three crammed into the elevator alongside the rest of the boys. Chan-woo kept his head down in shame the second they entered. Hoseok placed his arm around his neck and Yoongi gently rubbed his thumb along his skin which made him smile from their support.
The group silently walked out of elevator and up to the grey van that had been waiting for them. Chan-woo was dragged to the very back row and sat down in between Yoongi and Hoseok. He smiled gratefully at them as he buckled himself up. His heart pounded from nerves as the van pulled away and begun taking them towards the location. Chan-woo settled back in his seat, one hand held by each boy beside him, and his head rested comfortably on Yoongi's shoulder. He hoped the rest of the day would go by smoothly unlike the start of the morning had.
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