I let my eyes flutter closed before remembering that in six hours, the Alpha of the Shadow Eclipse pack will be in our territory, making an alliance with my father.

Scoffing at the absurd thought, I let the numbness float me away on a gray cloud of tears.

...

Laying on my bed, I go over the events that have happened since Monday.

Monday morning, I woke up like usual but found out that we're making an alliance with the Shadow Eclipse pack- which I still think is utterly stupid.

Monday afternoon, I had to deal with Tristan. That didn't turn out how I thought it would when Blake showed up and kicked him out.

Monday night, Blake and I talked about the things that happened between Tristan and I before I told Mom and Dad. Which was difficult for me to talk about, and took well over an hour for me to spit it out.

Tuesday morning, Blake held my hair back while I puked and suddenly Tristan and his brother were dead, due to a suspicious house fire. To take our minds off of it, we weren't going to school, but to the cottage for some family time.

Tuesday afternoon, we arrived and Dad had to leave immediately to take care of something, but he wouldn't tell us what it was, waving it off as an Alpha duty. Us kids decided to go for a swim in the lake, until it started to get dark.

Tuesday night, we ran back to the house, but Blake pulled me aside and demanded to know why I have scars on my behind, how and when he noticed them, beyond me. I sprinted upstairs to my bathroom and looked at them with my own eyes, almost losing myself in a downward spiral. My wolf wouldn't allow that and made me go back downstairs, acting as though nothing was wrong as we played games and ate.

This morning, we packed and left the cottage, but not before Blake and I had another talk. Where I lied to him. I feel guilty that I lied to him, but I'd rather protect my family than drag them into whatever mess I've made.

I've had a busy three days and now I have to stand in front of a ruthless, cruel Alpha while he signs an alliance that I have no doubt, will come back to bite us in the butt. It's just a feeling.

'What if he tries to make us accomplices to another pack annihilation? What if he blames it on us and we're driven out of our city because the humans don't trust us anymore? What if-'

My wolf sighs and I can imagine her shaking her head.

'Calm down, it's not that bad. If anything, an alliance with the Shadow Eclipse pack will strengthen the relationship between humans and Lycanthropes. It will show everyone that the most peaceful pack and the most warned off can get along. That they aren't as bad as they're made out to be,' she reasons.

I'm still uneasy about it, my stomach twisting in knots of worry, but I can't deny that she has a point.

Sighing, I swing my legs off the side of the bed and sit up, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth.

'Okay,' I breathe, 'You're right, I'm over thinking it. I just want my family to be safe. I don't want the pack to get hurt because of this alliance.'

'We'll all be just fine. You'll see.' She responds smugly.

My eyebrows scrunch together as confusion surfaces.

'What is with the recurring line, "You'll see..." I'll see what?' I ask skeptically.

She just snorts, 'You'll see.'

I huff out a breath and shake my head. I should have seen it coming, basically asked for it. I don't know what I'm supposed to be seeing, but a glance at the clock tells me I've been contemplating my life a little too long and only have an hour before we have to be seated in the pack house, waiting for the Alpha's arrival.

At the perfect moment, Mom calls from downstairs, "You kids better be getting dressed nicely for the alliance! I want makeup, dresses, and suits! Anything but and no bacon for a week!"

Blake and Tyler's door opens and they shout back down at her in unison,

"We're getting our tuxes on!"

Jumping off my bed, I grab my mini speaker and phone, connecting them through Bluetooth. Setting the speaker down on the marble counter, I go through the rare routine of putting on a full face of makeup.

Foundation, highlighter, bronzer, eyeliner, blush, eye shadow, concealer, and mascara. I focus on making sure it's all blended so that I don't look like I just put a pound of makeup on.

After brushing my teeth and quickly applying my Lovely Coral Pink lip gloss, I pull my hair from its ponytail and turn the music up a little louder, plugging the curling iron in to heat up while I change.

You see the best in me, and you making me believe..
That I'm somebody special, that I'm somebody, yeah I'm somebody.
That I'm told not to settle, not for nobody, not for nobody.

I hum along with the music, going through my wardrobe. Trying to find a dress I feel at least okay in, I pass most of them, finally settling on a knee length, flowing black dress. The neckline stretches across my chest and below my collar bones, but doesn't show any cleavage, even when I bend over.

(p.s. This is only a picture of the dress, nothing else.)

Legs inside, I stick my arms in the sleeves and shimmy it up my stomach. Slipping the thin straps over my shoulders, I reach around and zip up my dress an inch, before it get's caught. I groan, biting my lip harder and hoping that this isn't happening.

Turning around to look in the mirror, I can see the of top of my dark scars peaking through. I worry my lip, trying to reach over my shoulder to zip it the rest of the way. When I still can't free it, my stomach knots. I can't go to Mom, Bonnie, or Tyler. The only person I can go to is Blake without getting any questions.

Heaving a big sigh, I walk over to my door and open it a crack.

"Blake!"

I watch their bedroom door open diagonally to mine, his muscular frame taking up his doorway.

"What?" He asks, a small edge to his voice.

I give his maroon tux a small glance, noting how it seems a little stretched across his chest and arms since the Fall Gala last month.

Has he been working out?

"I need help zipping my dress up." I say instead.

He hesitates for a second before striding through my door and swiftly closing it. I face my back towards him and pull my hair to the side. 

His hand clasps the zipper and pulls it up the rest of the way. Letting my hair fall back into place down my back, I turn around and smile. 

"Thanks." 

He grunts, "We're leaving in five if you want a ride," before walking out. 

'That was weird. We were fine before, we even raced to the car. Has something changed?'

Now, I'm not entirely sure he believed my earlier lie about the scars. Maybe he can lie as good as I can? 

The thought is abandoned when I look in the full length mirror, frowning. The dress is tight around my stomach and I can see the way it puckers before flowing out around my knees. I tug at the material, a knot of anxiety bubbling up in my core. 

Or maybe he realized just how fat and ugly you are.

Before I lose my nerve and rip the dress off, I step away from the mirror and breathe. 

In. 

And out. 

In... and out. 

The ugly thoughts fight to be heard, telling me how pointed my nose is, or how fat I am while I speed walk to the bathroom and turn up the music, letting the beat and melody drown them. 

Catching a golden strand of hair and wrapping it around the curler, my hips move in time with the new song, forgetting anything else. 

'Cause if you like the way you look that much,
Oh baby you should go and love yourself
And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'
You should go and love yourself

By the time the song is over, half of my hair is curled. Skipping three of my more depressing songs to not encourage the cruel thoughts, I check the time. 

"Crap," I curse, speeding up my hair to curler time.  I have ten minutes to get there, and that's being right on time. After finishing my hair, I clip a long gold necklace around my neck, an intricate gold rose hanging from the chain.  

Jerking the curler's plug out of the wall, I race into my room and blindly feel under my bed for my velvet, black pumps. Feeling the strap of the open toed shoes, I find both pairs before grabbing my phone and stuffing it in my black and gold clutch. Clutch in one hand and my heels in the other, I run down the stairs, through the kitchen and living room to the garage. Snatching my keys, I fling myself into the car and squeal out into the street. Making sure the garage door is closing as I drive away, I make sharp turns and other drivers very angry. That I choose to ignore. 

Pulling up to the gates for them to let me in, I surpass the gigantic, round, rose garden and park in the large storage garage, twenty cars already filling the space. 

Gripping my clutch and leaning on the car, I slip my shoes on, making sure my straps are on right before walking as fast as I can to the side door that leads into a very spacious common room.

Walking as quickly and quietly as I can with my heels clicking against the dark marble, I walk to the back door of our Audience room. Turning the handle and sneaking into the barely lit corridor behind the stage, I stealthily creep up the few steps. 

But the moment I set my right heel on stage, every eye turns to me and I have to fight the blush heating up my skin. 

Clearing my throat, I walk steadily to my chair between Tyler and Bonnie. Mom sits on dad's right while Blake sits on dad's left. 

Everyone's eyes are still trained on me, a look of surprise and shock written across each face. 

'I get it, I'm late. But why are they still staring? Do I have something on me?' 

'Yes, you have something on you. It's called a dress and makeup,' my wolf deadpans, 'They think you're pretty. Enjoy it.'

I hold in a huff and straighten my back. I don't completely believe her, but on the off chance she's right, I need to at least look like I believe her. 

I can't force my arms to uncross from in front of my stomach, but I can chalk it up to I'm cold. No one will have to see how tight the dress really is and how it catches every ugly, fatty detail. 

'Jessa.' My wolf breathes as the thoughts disperse. A scent washes over me, like the salty sea of ocean waves and sunshine in a dewy meadow. The scent sends chills racing down my arms and makes my body relax, wanting to bathe in it. I close my eyes and focus on the tingling in my belly, growing ever stronger. 

"Alpha Samuel!" My dad projects from his seat. 

The pack, all as one, turn as my eyes fly open. 

Our senses are heightened to detect anything from a wrong move, to a silent order from the Alpha, waiting for him to demolish our pack... but I am frozen to my seat. 

A tall, well over seven foot man sails down the center aisle. He wears a fine suit, showing off his broad chest and muscular build. The midnight black suit brings out his skin tone, a deep exotic tan -like he actually does bathe in the sun- and his narrowed, dark eyes. Hair slicked back like some rich business man would, I wonder how many packs it took to demolish to look that amazing and feel that confident. 

The pure tension in the room makes my stomach tighten with the realization, but I keep my expression in check, zeroing in on Alpha Samuel. I can't look away even if I tried, and my stomach feels as though it might kill me if it squeezes itself anymore. 

My heart quickens and the closer Alpha Samuel get's, the more dread seeps into my gut. I look around anxiously, swallowing hard when it's clear that no one is looking at me. They're all looking at the dangerous man that they are about to make an alliance with. 

When my heart is pounding in my ears and my wolf whispers, 'Mate,' longingly, it's what snaps me into action. 

In less than a second, I'm out of my chair and sprinting across the stage. I tumble down the stairs and push the back door open, hearing the confusion of the crowd behind me. I don't stop moving until I'm in my car and backing out haphazardly as I see Blake, Dad, and Alpha Samuel barge out of the house.

Eyes meeting Alpha Samuel's, I can't stop it when the air is knocked from my lungs at the raw emotion in his eyes.

Confusion, desire, anger... hurt.

You are imaging it. He can't love you. No one can love a fat, ugly, bitch. You aren't even pure. He wouldn't want you if you were the last female lycan in the galaxy.

My hands shake on the wheel as I tear my gaze from his, before he can see the tears welling in my eyes. The thoughts remind me of everything. Of Tristan and the ugly scars that he left on me, of the memories I still can't fully remember, but come back to me in my dreams. It reminds me of the mental list I created.

1) Find out what the scars are and what they mean.

2) Make sure he is truly dead

3) If he's not, kill him.

I repeat the list over and over in my head, if not to drown out my families confused voices, then to turn this feeling inside me into anger. I know who my mate is.

He is ruthless and cruel and from what I saw, the tiniest part of me knows with absolute certainty that he wants me. Me. 

And although these voices rise in my head and it takes my entire will to cling onto that tiny part of me that hopes, I memorize everything about him. 

From the small dimple on his left cheek when he smiled at me before I ran, to the way his eyes shone with vivid emotion when he realized what I was doing. But I can't have him, and he can't have me until I'm clean of my past. I have to find out why these scars mutilate me. I need to know if Tristan is really dead and in the ground. I need... I need to go, and I need to leave now. 

It's now or never.