The bedroom was destroyed. The bed frame listed to one side like a boat taking on water, with the headboard in pieces. Chunks of drywall were missing. Brick, timber, and wires peaked out, the guts of the building exposed in a tragic peepshow. The shattering of a mirror and night tables left glittering shards of glass and wood in a barefoot minefield around the bed. Fortunately, the walk-in closet and windows appeared to have been outside the zone of devastation.

Even after the wall of fire, clouds, and accidentally causing a water vortex in the shower, I was stunned at the level of destruction I'd caused last night. Loki kissed me on the neck from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." I started, not sure what to say after stuffing down my fear and panic. I was trying to not feel too much and set off additional devastation.

"It's nothing I haven't done in a moment of anger or despair, darling. God of Chaos, after all." He sounded completely nonchalant about the destruction.

"How did you learn to control your powers?" That's it. Focus on the intellectual side of things. Slow breath in, slow breath out. Keep calm. 

"We learn as we mature into adulthood on Asgard. I suspect you will learn much faster, given you are no child."

"Where do I start?" I kept saying my calming mantra, trying to distract myself from the churning miasma of fear bubbling up.

"At this point, your powers are likely tied to your emotions and intent. You'll need to develop the sense of crafting your will to create what you want. I don't manipulate the four natural elements specifically, but there are a few parallels. Without conscious thought, you speed up the friction of atoms creating fire, change the density and movement between atoms creating air currents, or combined with water, create clouds or that lovely water tornado in the bathroom. These are similar to forms of telekinesis, which I also have, but mine is not as strong or refined to specific types of atoms as yours."

Calm, stay calm. Focus on the science. Science is good. "Okay, that makes some sense, although I don't understand how I'm doing that."

"That part is magic, darling. I can't explain it in terms of your science, as you haven't developed the theory for it yet. Suffice it to say, magic, or seidhr, is a form of energy we have differing abilities to draw on and manipulate."

Gesturing to the shattered mirror, he told me to imagine drawing the pieces back together, picturing in my mind what the mirror had looked like previously. Closing my eyes, I took another deep breath in, then out, and tried to relax and concentrate on the idea of pulling it back together, of pieces joining, cracks filling into a seamless whole.

"Open your eyes."

I did, and found the mirror as it had been before last night, smooth and unblemished.

"Wow! That's incredible." I couldn't help but be excited about the possibilities.

"Yes. Keep in mind you can shatter it again just as easily, by either using your earth element affinity as you did to put it together, or by heating it with your fire affinity, or shattering it with a blow of air."

"It's easier to destroy than restore it, isn't it?"

"Yes. Often only a single power or affinity will allow you to remake something, but destruction can always be caused in multiple ways. Chaos wants to happen." He smirked.

Taking my hand, he pulled me out of the bedroom.

"Come, darling. Let's go outside and see how you do in the wider world."

We put on comfortable shoes and headed out of the flat, walking to the nearby Hyde Park. As we got closer, it was deafening.

"Why is it so loud?" I shouted to be heard over the din

He cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

I saw him talking, but I couldn't hear him. There were too many voices overlapping.

"Focus on just my voice," I heard over the cacophony. "Imagine a wall between you and the voices, and the only one you hear is me," Loki said, hands on my cheeks as he held my gaze.

As I looked back at him, I pictured being inside a large bubble with just the two of us inside. The voices receded until they were background sounds, muffled by the bubble.

"Is that better?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"You can do the same thing to keep your thoughts to yourself. Develop the practice of keeping a mental wall up as a shield. You can make it thin or thick and make separate areas for different thoughts. Once you practice enough, it will be unconscious, like breathing, and you won't have to think about it to maintain it."

"Where are all the voices coming from?" I asked.

We looked around the park. It was already late in the evening, and with no events occurring tonight, there were few people about.

"Imagine thinning the wall in one spot to pick a few voices out of the crowd. What are they saying?"

Closing my eyes, I visualized the bubble and chose one small area to draw those voices in.

"Hey, over here. Over here, ladies. Look at the great spot I have picked out! Over here, ladies."

"Those are my nuts! Get away! Mine, my nuts!"

"Puh-leese. As if I'd pick him to watch my eggs. Look at how droopy his tail is. I can do better."

Loki laughed. My bubble wavered before I firmed it up again.

"I can hear the voices through your mind. It's the animals. You are hearing the animals," he said with a smile. "You should also be able to talk to them if you want, as I can. It's very handy when I'm shifted into an animal."

"Wow... that's... wow. As a scientist who studies the environment, we often talk about wondering what animals think, but now I can actually find out!"

My pulse leapt as my mind spun with the ramifications. This would spark so many new avenues of research. It would revolutionize our understanding of ecology and behaviour, species interactions, and community dynamics. It was ground-breaking.

Loki shook his head. "You can't reveal the existence of the gods, Shannon. Particularly now with the current culture of Midgard. You'd either be labelled as a crackpot and they'd want to lock you up in a psych ward, or they'd believe you faked it with some sort of special effect, thereby losing all your scientific credibility. This world has forgotten gods and magic are real."

Frowning, I stepped back from him. The pillar of calm I'd created to bolster myself by focusing on my curiosity, on logic, and on science started crumbling under my feet. My fists clenched, and I stepped back farther. "I don't accept that. I'm sure there are ways of using science to support my findings. My friends would believe me."

He shook his head. "They will turn on you, Shannon."

A panicked rhythm pounded in my veins, creating a drumbeat in my ears. I couldn't get enough air, like my lungs were seizing. I held out a hand to ward him off, even as I stepped farther from him. The churning in my stomach had acid burning my throat. All the feelings I'd been trying to stuff down all day swirled up in a toxic brew of volcanic uncertainty.

"No, they won't, Loki! They wouldn't do that!" I rasped out, trying to convince myself as much as him.

He looked sad, sympathy on his face. "You can't tell your friends. We will need to look into your family to see where the god genes came from, but you may not be able to tell them either. It could destroy your relationship with them."

"No!" A cold sweat broke out on my back, competing with the swirling heat of my denial.

He held a hand out to me. "Please, I'm trying to save you this pain."

"I don't believe you!"

Wind started whipping around me, and my feet lifted off the ground as my body burned, thoughts raging like firecrackers, seeking an outlet, a crack in his logic. Anything that would let me deny it. I couldn't accept his words.

Why would he say such hurtful things? It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. It's his possessiveness, a voice inside insisted. He wants me all to himself. It's too much. He's trying to alienate me from friends and family. Just like my ex.

"Please Shannon..." Loki fought against the wind, shoving him back. "I'm trying to protect you. They can't know about you or they will reject who you are."

"This is my entire life you are talking about!" Panicked breaths had my head spinning, vision blurring. It can't be true. It can't.

Spots filled my vision at the thought of losing everything. My career. My family. My friends. No. No, I can't. I can't!

A hand reached for me and I shoved it away, jerking in clumsy lurches as the raging winds buffeted me.

"NO!"

I'd fought too hard for my life. Dedicated my entire adult existence to my science. I didn't want his words. I didn't want this. None of it. I can't breathe. He's suffocating me, holding me back, trapping me. God, I can't breathe. Flailing my arms and legs, I punched and kicked at him. I have to get away. Get away.

The burning winds swirled me higher off the ground, out of his reach, where he couldn't hold me down or try to cage me.

"I don't want you to experience the pain of their jealousy, or worse, their fear of you," he shouted over the howling wind, reaching up for me.

Snarling, I flew higher into the air, lightning cracking around me and hitting the surrounding ground.

Who was he to change it all? Another man trying to control me! Just like my ex. Another trying to destroy my life and take everything from me? 

I can't lose it all. I can't!

Screaming in a wordless fear-fuelled rage, the wind carried me into the sky away from Loki, far below on the ground.