Day 3: Soulmates

The Infinite Chocolate Paradox is a phenomenon where a chocolate bar can be cut into pieces and rearranged to create an extra block of chocolate. The phenomenon, itself, is a paradox because it does not obey the basic laws of equations; for the sum to stay the same, no parts should be taken out.

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When Sirin experiences her last moments, God–or whatever her saviour wishes to be called–grants her a gift as precious as life. The four gems rest inside her, ready to burn everything as God intended. When her body finally accepts them, Sirin, or the second Herrscher, or whoever she had been, dies and all that remains is the husk housing the Honkai’s Will.

“A soul equally divided,” Prometheus thinks and sends the End to the new souls. Honkai had never used a single strike to wipe out humanity therefore neither should a copycat. Be it a sword to the chest or one million pins piercing every inch of your body, Death still comes.

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Kiana Kaslana makes Mei Raiden’s soul ache whenever she’s present. It’s a feeling her Herrscher persona does not only share but is also proud to admit. In a way, that alone shows how extraordinary the white-haired girl is. Kiana Kaslana is love, hope, and joy–all that’s beautiful in this wrecked world–and Mei only needs a few minutes with her before deciding she must be salvaged at all costs. Whether the Thunder inside her agrees or not, it matters not.

“Herrschers do not love.” the blood in her veins whispers, a voice sweet like honey coating sharp blades for words, “They do not weep. They know neither bliss nor sorrow. All that matters is our creed.”

And it’s true, Mei already knew that much without the Herrscher telling her. She knows of the monsters they are, the devil she is. The only God she can ever pray to is the Honkai, the only craving she will ever have is destruction. She never had the chance to be religious but she can’t help wondering whether Kiana is supposed to be her martyrdom. Or maybe, an intervention, the light in the dark.

“Only fools like her would entertain the idea of soulmates.” her hands cry. They are the parts of the Herrscher she hates most for they cradle Kiana’s face, they wrap themselves around her, and they let themselves be grabbed the only time they shouldn’t. They’re the parts that threaten to destroy all she holds dear every night she closes her eyes.

“Yes,” Mei silently agrees, “what a foolish idea.”

After all, to be soulmates, the love should be equally unconditional, it should make both parties whole. And even if Kiana is a saint on earth, Thunder can never be anywhere but on the skies.

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“This is why.” the Herrscher tells her once she draws her blade. “This is why we care. We wish to return, we wish to become whole again.” All she can hear is cruelty and laughter ringing in her ears. In spite of them, she vows to not falter. Her dedication is the only thing she has left.

“Your love,” the Storm taunts, “can never defeat Mother’s child. It can never break her Will.”

“I love Kiana.” she insists, determination filling her senses, “I love that girl from Chiba Academy and I know who she is.”

“A shell.”

“You said Herrschers do not feel anything. That they only follow orders from above.” she paused, “But Kiana feels, I’ve seen it. She feels more than anyone else.”

“And if it’s a facade?”

“It isn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you and I share the same heart.” the tingle inside her stops for mere seconds, “You do not love her because something told you you should.”

The Herrscher stays quiet until she asks the Major to take the bomb out of her heart. A part of Mei had feared that the Storm would rage as soon as it was set free. Instead, all there was, was electricity on her fingertips.

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“Of course, you can never return.” the Herrscher of the Void explains; like a parent to a child. No, Kiana had lived with the man called Siegfried, she had let him down time and time again and yet the man had never spoken to her with such cruelty. “Who would welcome you?”

Theresa? Who had believed she was her beloved niece? Bronya? Whose home she had destroyed? Mei? Who she had almost killed? “I would not worry about the ex-Herrscher,” the monster inside her continued, “the half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.”

“Mei wouldn’t succumb to you.”

“Her biggest part already has.” the Herrscher continues, “But why should it matter to you? You’re a clone. Neither Kiana Kaslana nor the girl who called herself Sirin. Whatever you felt for Thunder’s daughter was never love; it was contentedness.”

There are a thousand things that make the Herrscher of the Void an evil being–Kiana recounts them every night before she drifts into sleep–but a lying nature had never been on the list. Arc City stands in front of her, the night embracing her, and all Kiana can think about is whether those she cares about are safe. Whether she’ll ever be able to see them again. See Mei again.

The possibility that this longing might be faked is perhaps what makes Otto Apocalypse the cruellest man on earth.

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Soulmates, Mei used to think, is a very dramatic way of expressing someone’s feelings. Kiana used to call them that when she’d speak about their bond. Had she known what would follow, she would urge her to say it over and over again. The Thunder inside her is quiet–its gem missing–and Mei isn’t entirely sure if it's too weak to speak or just guilty. After all, it’s partially responsible for Kiana’s upcoming death. No, she thinks again, it hasn’t any power to speak because she knows Kiana’s hurt would cause a storm. Now, the only storm is Mei Raiden’s human hands that barely manage to lift a sword. They could never carry Kiana’s burden.

Still, she would like to. Still, she tells Kevin she will try to.

And if that’s not due to their souls calling to one another, then what could it ever be?

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Mei is crying. It’s a painful sight but there is no war without casualties. There is no light without darkness. Still, Kiana hates she’s once again the reason for her sorrow. Had she still been the young naive girl from St. Freya, she would feel ashamed of how much she’s hurt her beloved Mei. But Kiana had grown, had left her heroic tendencies behind in an effort to never become someone driverless, in order to never let down Himeko, and so she knew that not all battles were fought the same way.

“It’ll only be for some years,” she whispers to her. Mei is taller than her but she still manages to bury her head at the crane of her neck. “And then we won’t have to fight anymore.”

“I know,” Mei tells her, “but I wasted so much time.”

She didn’t. Not really. Had they not fought, they wouldn’t have developed as people. Had they not fought, they wouldn’t be here. But still, it’s a sentiment Kiana deeply shares. Had she searched for Mei right after Kolosten, they could have had some more days with each other.

“It doesn’t matter,” it’s the last lie of Kiana Kaslana, “even if I’m not by your side for a while, we’re soulmates, we’ll always be together.”

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But then, how does the paradox work?

It’s simple; it’s a mere illusion.