am I walking towards something i should be running away from...

V I O L E T T A M A L F O Y

"Draco!" Violet called out, jogging to catch up to him. He was gone as soon as the class was dismissed and Violet hadn't even finished packing her stuff up before he left. Her plan had been easy, get through History of Magic and then talk to him before Herbology. But she had been so distracted by trying to figure out what was going on inside his head that she forgot she had planned to talk to him.

She planted herself next to him - despite his vehement protest - and he went to move but there were no other seats available. Professor Lupin stared the boy down - not even having to mutter a word - when he attempted to pay attention to the lecture standing up. Draco reluctantly took a seat, pushing his chair as far away from Violet as he could. As though her proximity to him was so distasteful. She scoffed, muttering under her breath, "You're ridiculous." He said nothing in return.

It was surprising enough that the class was full but the reason behind this became glaringly obvious as the girls' whispers around them became more prominent. "Merlin, he's so hot," they said and Violet turned around in confusion to find the two girls behind her whispering - Cho Chang and Lavender Brown - she raised an eyebrow at their words but she wasn't entirely sure as to who they were talking about. She looked around to find that the majority of the girls were staring at Professor Lupin. The only one who looked as confused as she did was Emery. The boys, of course, didn't notice.

Emery caught Violet's eye and she mouthed, 'What's happening?' Violet looked around and she could hear Lavender speak, "The scars? Imagine what he looks like without a shirt." Cho giggled in response and Violet snorted. She was quick to cover her mouth, her outburst drawing attention to herself.

"What is your problem?" Draco snarled, his irritation growing quickly.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," she apologized, clearing her throat. And she was, at least a bit but she was still surprised that he hadn't noticed what she had.

Professor Remus seemed to be picking up on whatever was being whispered throughout the room and he stopped his lecture, turning to face the classroom. "Is there something more interesting happening right now that someone wants to fill me in on?" Violet couldn't help but bust out laughing, her lack of stature that her mother always pestered her about more prominent than ever. "Miss Malfoy?"

Violet grimaced, though, the lingering laughter was still tight in her chest. She cleared her throat again and she could see all the eyes on her, some of the girls looking more nervous than others. "I can't speak for anyone else but I just found the subject matter unbelievably fascinating," she explained to him, sitting up straighter in her chair, "You're a much more...engaging teacher than Professor Binns ever was."

There was a murmur of agreement and Professor Lupin looked around, taking in the room. He looked back at Violet who couldn't help the smile that graced her face and then over at his daughter who looked so innocently lost that Violet almost laughed again. He cleared his throat, turning back to the board as he spoke, "Right."

It wasn't that Violet didn't understand where the girls were coming from, because she did. Remus Lupin was a rather attractive man, despite his limp and the scars that littered his body. It mostly added to the appeal, for most of the girls. But Violet had never been particularly vocal about these sorts of things and she never really understood the whole 'talking about it with everyone' thing. Wasn't it embarrassing? To be thinking about someone who was almost twice their age in such an odd way? Especially so publicly?

Violet spent the rest of the class blocking out the other students and focusing on both the lesson and her brother. He wasn't taking notes but he was writing something down. She couldn't see, but it just looked like scribbles which left her more confused than before. Professor Lupin dismissed the class and Draco was gone in a flash. She hadn't even seen him pack up his stuff.

She hauled after him, calling out to him in hopes that he'd stop. "Draco Lucius Malfoy, if you don't stop right now, I swear to Merlin that I'll-" before she could make a veiled threat, the boy spun around, his face bright red as he stormed over to her. Violet took a quick step back as Draco moved in, towering over the girl as though she was nothing. He was always so good at making her feel like she was nothing.

"You'll what?" Draco sneered, the words laced in venom - a hatred she had always known him capable of but he had never directed at her. She wavered, shrinking in on herself despite her attempt to remain strong. She failed miserably. It was like when their father would yell at her - and only her - because everything was somehow her fault. She could see the similarities between father and son more than ever. The bright blonde hair, the piercing gray eyes, the sneer of anger and the curl of his lip. If only Draco had a cane and grew his hair out, they'd be identical.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Violet admitted, her voice quiet and timid. The girl wasn't known for backing down from a fight but when it came to her family, it was a completely different story. Draco blinked in surprise, regret washing over his face before it was gone - if she had blinked, she would have missed it. "But I'll leave you to yourself, then."

Draco spun around, not sparing her a word or glance as he stormed off. He so easily ignored the stares and whispers around them but she was frozen in place, watching as he rounded the corner and disappearing from the scene. She took a deep breath, ignoring the murmurs around her. They were all speaking negatively on her. About how embarrassing she was or how stupid she looked standing there. "Violet, are you okay?" Emery spoke from behind her.

She turned around and sent the girl a smile, "I'm fine. I'll see you in Herbology later."

"But-"

Violet pulled her headphones over her head, the music filled her ears like a lullaby, calming her down almost instantly. David Bowie's voice flowed through her ears, the feeling of a warm hug after a long day. She closed her eyes, allowing the words to resonate and finding herself at peace - even if it was just for a moment.

It's a God-awful small affair, to the girl with the mousy hair.

S I R I U S B L A C K

But her mummy is yelling, 'no.' And her daddy has told her to go.

"Merlin, Sirius," James said with a huff, running his hand once more down the cat's - Jinx - back. They had found the black cat outside their house one day and they had started off leaving it food on the porch. Next thing they knew, the cat was living inside but none of them really minded. Taking in strays was a Potter trait, through and through. "If I have to listen to this song anymore, you may successfully make me hate David Bowie."

Sirius narrowed his eyes on the man, "Get over it." Life on Mars? by David Bowie had been the first song that Remus and Sirius had shown Emery. Sirius seemed to be going through it with them both being away at school, you would think he was grieving their death. The song played on repeat, the record scratching slightly as Sirius lifted the needle with his wand and gently placed it back at the beginning of the song every time.

James rolled his eyes, standing up from the couch. Jinx jumped in surprise, his hair standing on end as he looked up at James. His green eyes glimmered as he glared at the man and if looks could kill, James would be six feet under - no wand could save him from the fury behind the little animal's eyes. "Oh, sorry bud," he apologized, drawing his finger across the top of the cat's head. The cat immediately relaxed, purring in content as the man stroked his head.

"Merlin, that cat is weird," Sirius told him, crossing his arms over his chest. "I truly think there is something wrong with it."

"You're just upset because he doesn't like you," James countered. He leaned down so his face was in line with Jinx. The cat moved forward slightly, bumping his nose against James and the man smiled. A kitty kiss, as Harry used to call it. "He's a sweetheart."

"That's what he wants you to think," Sirius countered, narrowing his eyes on the cat. Jinx leaned forward, stretching its back before it walked in a half circle and settled on the couch. Sirius turned to look at James, "That's my spot. He's doing this on purpose."

James laughed at this, "He's a cat, Pads. I hardly think there was any thought put into it other than convenience." He waved his hand, "Now, come on. We're gonna be late for our meeting."

Sirius reluctantly moved from his spot. He crossed the room to the record player, carefully removing Hunky Dory from the player. He moved to walk away when there was a hiss from behind him. Both of them turned to look at Jinx who was glaring at Sirius. "Oh, motherfu-" he cut himself off with the shake of his head. He sifted through the vinyl's that were under the record player before finding the right one. Beethoven's Greatest Hits. He pulled the sleeve off before placing the record on the table and starting it up.

They looked back to find the cat folded in on himself in contentment. The bloody cat is crazy, Sirius thought to himself as Symphony No. 5 began to play, filling the room with a chord progression that made his blood boil. But the bloody cat loved it so what did it matter how Sirius felt about it. He hated this kind of music. Who listened to music without words? What was the point? There was no story being told when all that was happening was someone throwing together a bunch of random notes that happened to sound alright next to each other.

It reminded him of dinners at home, before he moved in with the Potter's. His family would sit in silence as they ate, the horrid sounds of a piano filling the room as they did so. It was awful and mind-numbing. He could remember his first dinner at the Potter's, terrified for the start of yet another song that he'd hate but it never came. Because the Potter family would speak to each other. They'd have conversations about their day and make jokes. They didn't fill the silence with meaningless music and uncomfortable looks.

They arrived just outside of Hogwarts, closer to the lining of the woods. "They said that they'll send someone to meet us by the gate," James explained as they began their trek toward the school. He pulled his wand out, waving it slightly and out came a swirl of white and blue, forming a stag in front of the pair. It moved with them, connected to James before James waved his wand once more and it was off.

"You're always so graceful about it," Sirius said, shaking his head slightly. Which was true. The two of them were both incredibly talented wizards but their magic had always been different. Sirius's was more abrupt, and harsh, hitting the target without an ounce of subtlety. Whereas with James - and Ophelia, ironically enough - both had a more elegant sort of magic. It flowed with them, and they were able to control every part of it without even having to think about it.

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again," James spoke as they came to a stop outside the gate. "You just need to be more patient. You strike too quickly."

"But it's efficient."

"It's reckless."

Before Sirius could respond, two figures were approaching them. Professor McGonagall and Harry. James immediately perked up, his attention focused on his son. Sirius grinned, his godson waving eagerly at the two.

"Minnie!" Sirius greeted, "And Harry, how kind of you to come retrieve us." He looked at Harry, sending him a wink before looking up at McGonagall, "What's the question this time?"

"What did you two do that resulted in me giving you your first of many detentions?" McGonagall asked the two, her hands folded in front of her.

James turned red at this, looking anywhere but Harry who leaned forward in intrigue. Sirius grinned, "Oh, this one is easy! We snuck Firewhiskey into the water in the kitchen and got everyone tipsy."

The door clicked up and Harry looked between the two with narrowed eyes, "So you two can get the entire Hogwarts population tipsy but I can't have one drink at Christmas?"

"Shut up," James suggested playfully before Harry threw himself at his dad. "Maybe if this stays between us, I can discuss it with your mother."

Harry pulled away from James before throwing himself at Sirius to which he happily accepted. "Don't worry, Harry," he told him, "I'll make it happen."

The four of them made their way to the castle, Harry walking backwards so he could face the two. "I have to finish preparing for tryouts but are you still going to stop by for a bit?"

"If there's time," James told him, "But at the very least, we'll say goodbye." Harry grinned before taking off, the two of them watching as he bolted through the courtyard like he was running out of time. "I wonder why he's so eager about Quidditch."

"It would have absolutely nothing to do with his father," McGonagall informed them. The two turned to look at her as he spoke, "You have a bit of time before the meeting. Don't cause too many problems." The woman walked away, leaving them to themselves.

"Let's go find Ophelia and Remus," James suggested, "Then we can see where Emery is."

"No need," Sirius said, his face lighting up as he saw the girl running towards them, a grin on her face.

Emery threw her arms around Sirius's waist, burying herself in his side. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Hey, kid," he greeted and she squeezed him tighter before letting go. He pulled away, taking her face in his hands, "How have you been? I've hardly heard from you."

"I'm great!" she told him, smiling at him as he dropped his hands. "I've just been busy getting used to the fast pace here. I'll start to write more."

"Promise?" he asked

She nodded, "Promise." She smiled again, "I think I'm going to try out for the Quidditch team."

"You are?"

"Yes!" she said. "I'm not first string material but I think I could at least make second. Then maybe I'll be good enough to be first next year."

"I don't have a doubt in my mind that you'll make the team."

"You're biased," she said pointedly. "Besides, Harry has made it very clear that he plans to be ruthless. He even told Violet she might not make the team."

Sirius snorted at this. Of course the girl would make the team, he thought to himself. She was better than Harry was, if he were honest. He was surprised that Violet hadn't been asked to be Captain. But then again, maybe she had and she declined. Sirius had seen the girl play and she was relentless on the broom. The Weasley twins taught her well and she took every hit with stride. The team needed core beaters and Violet and Jimmy Peakes would be that for Harry. Sirius just hoped Harry would make the right choices.

The Gryffindor Quidditch Captains in the past - James and Oliver Wood being the only exception - had a history of bias. Some chose to prioritize friendship over actual talent and gender over capabilities. But Sirius knew Harry well enough to know that he wouldn't make those mistakes. Not on purpose.

"What's going on with you and that Weasley kid?" Sirius asked, placing his hands on his hips. Emery appeared surprised at this and he raised an eyebrow, "What? Did you think your father and I don't talk to each other?"

"No," she replied, rolling her eyes slightly. "We're friends."

"Just friends," Sirius clarified. Relationships with her condition were complicated. Not to say they're impossible but given that they hadn't spoken to any of the other kids about it, Sirius didn't want Emery to get hurt. There was no predicting someone's reaction to this sort of information, not really. And given Molly's reaction, Sirius wasn't particularly keen to see how her child would respond - especially after the incident back in third year with Remus, Ophelia and the kids. James and Sirius were able to stop anyone from getting hurt but he was certain it would have been...traumatizing, to say the least.

"I'm helping him with Potions," she explained. "I'm surprisingly good!" she was excited, that much was obvious. Of course, they had worked with her at home but she had expressed concern about whether she'd be able to perform on par with her peers. "Slughorn invited me to the Slug Club!"

Sirius slowly began to smile, "The Slug Club, eh?"

She nodded quickly, going into an elaborate explanation as to what 'The Slug Club' was. Sirius had known what it was, seeing as he had been invited back when he was still at school. He declined, of course, his brother's involvement making him certain he should steer clear from it. Besides, he had better things to do than worry about having to do more Potions.

"But you're happy?" he finally asked and she watched him for a moment.

"Are you happy?" she countered, tilting her head to the side as she looked him over.

"I'm happy so long as you are, Emery."

E M E R Y L U P I N - B L A C K

"I'll send you a letter tomorrow," Emery told him, "Quidditch tryouts are today so I'll be sure to let you know how they go."

Sirius smiled, "I'll be looking out for it."

"How's your adult stuff?" she inquired innocently.

"Still adult stuff," he informed her and she rolled her eyes. They never wanted to tell her what it was about, and anytime she asked they would say something like 'you're too young, this is adult stuff.' Oh, the day she turned seventeen, she would be insufferable. "I'll see you later, alright?" he told her, pulling her into a hug and pressing a kiss to her head once more. "Stay safe, okay?"

"Always," she replied before he reluctantly walked away from her. She turned away, making her way toward the Great Hall where Ginny said she'd wait for her. She was hoping that by now, Violet and her could have resolved whatever it was that had happened between them. Emery was worried that maybe she was too much, too fast. But Remus and Ophelia both told her that Violet had always been more withdrawn, keeping to herself. In fact, they were surprised she had been overly friendly in the first place.

Ron had said the same thing, though, not as nicely. Emery had noticed the bias towards her due to her being a Malfoy. The only one who didn't care was Harry. She found his crush on her rather adorable, even if it wasn't reciprocated. He was persistent and it was admirable.

She could hear footsteps just ahead, confusing her greatly. They were neither coming closer nor moving further - it sounded more like someone was pacing back and forth. She rounded the corner to find Ron pacing frantically back and forth, anxiously biting at his nails. "Ron?" Emery spoke, notifying him of her arrival and he jumped. To his right, a door appeared and she looked on in confusion. He turned quickly, opened the door and entered the room. She moved forward, reaching for the door before it could close.

"Ron?" she asked again and he was silent so she stood in the room with him, not saying a word. It was a small room, some simple decorations littering the area but the couch at the center of the room took up the most space.

"What if I don't make the team?" Ron asked suddenly, and it took Emery a moment to understand what he was asking. He was still worried about Quidditch tryouts.

"Here," Emery said, reaching for his wrist. She pulled him towards the couch, not giving him much other choice than to sit down with her. "I may have something that can help," she explained and he was staring down at where she still held his arm. "When I first moved to England from America..." she trailed off, dropping his arm. He looked up at her, listening intently. Like every word was a drink of water and he was thirsty, he wanted to be drowning in it. "It was an adjustment, it's so different here," she went on, turning to look at him. "Have you ever been?"

Ron shook his head, "We don't leave very much...except, in third year, when we went to Egypt."

"You've been to Egypt?" she asked him. "That's cool."

He nodded, "Honestly, I don't remember much of it...so much happened that year, it kind of overshadowed those memories." Emery frowned. If she was remembering correctly, third year was when Peter Pettigrew had come back into the light and went after Harry. As a rat, specifically, Ron's rat.

"Sirius and Remus were so kind to me when I first got here," Emery told Ron, steering the conversation away from a topic that would only stand to make him feel worse. "They were gentle and understanding but I don't think they realized..." she trailed off, hesitating slightly. She looked over at him to find that he was watching her intently, she was lost for a brief moment, his unbelievably blue eyes pulling her off course. She cleared her throat, "Well, they didn't realize the extent of my problems."

Of course, they knew that she was a werewolf. Mary and Lily had handpicked them specifically because of that. But the manner in which she became an orphan was an entirely different story.

Emery was a witch born to two muggle parents, both of which she had loved very very much. Not all muggle parents were completely understanding of their children having magic, but they didn't mind at all. In fact, they embraced it with open arms. From first year through fourth year, Emery attended Ilvernmorny, the equivalent of Hogwarts in America only on a much smaller scale. Over break, in fourth year, Emery had been out on her own, exploring the woods. It was a normal down time for her, she loved nature and all it provided for her. She felt at home when she walked through the woods, collecting leaves and flowers of interesting shapes. And on the nights of full moons, the light provided from the moon made her feel even more energized.

Until one day, it hadn't.

The doctors had said it was just an animal attack. A wolf. Michigan had a pretty high wolf population and though it was uncommon, wolf attacks happened from time to time. Emery had begun to heal, and she felt better than ever - her parents were happy to have her home, and post poned her return to Ilvermorny, wanting more time with her. But maybe sending her back to school would have changed everything.

None of them knew what was happening until it was too late. A month from the attack - on the next full moon - Emery had turned, and her parents had no way to help her. Or stop her. Emery woke up to her parents torn to shreds, and blood covering her own body. Their blood.

But she couldn't tell Ron any of that.

She played with her hands in her lap and Ron reached out, placing his hands over hers. She looked up in surprise and he already seemed far less anxious then when they had entered. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to make this about me."

"No, no," he shook his head, "You didn't- I mean...it helped, it really did. I feel better, not great, but better."

She turned to face him, "I was going to teach you the breathing exercise that Remus and Sirius taught me."

"Go on, then," he nodded, "Teach me."

"It's called 'box breathing'," she explained and he raised an eyebrow. "It's...I know, it's an odd name. But it's supposed to help calm your nervous system so you can focus better and feel more relaxed."

"Alright," he nodded, "How does it work?"

"It's easy, really," she went on, raising her hand and drawing a shape between them. He followed the trail of her finger, "Imagine a box, with four sides and- What?"

Ron was smiling, well, not just smiling. But grinning. Like she had just said or done something amusing. "I know what a box is." She narrowed her eyes at this, "Okay, okay, continue."

"First - kind of like the first side - you inhale for four seconds," she told him and he nodded, doing as she requested. "And then you hold your breath for four seconds," she said, and she waited four seconds before saying, "Then exhale for four seconds." He nodded slowly as he exhaled. "And then you wait four seconds before doing it again."

"Can you do it with me?" he asked, watching her closely and she was confused by the request but nodded in agreement.

They sat there, both of them doing the breathing exercise in complete silence, the only thing they could hear being their breathing. Ron seemed far more relaxed than he had before and oddly enough, Emery felt better too. She hadn't realized that thinking about her parents earlier had wound her up a bit but it was okay now. Not perfect, but better.

H A R R Y P O T T E R

"This is what you were talking about, isn't it?" Harry asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the group of giggling girls try to mount their brooms and fail. Again. Everyone had shown up early. And by everyone, he meant everyone. There was a wide variety of students littering the field, some of which came prepared with their own equipment and others who came with nothing at all.

"Those girls are in Hufflepuff," Violet informed him, her arms crossed over her chest, she turned to look at him with a grin. He looked down at her, his annoyance immediately melting as he looked at the girl. It wasn't often that they would just exist and talk to each other. So even if she was teasing him relentlessly, he didn't mind it all that much. Violet laughed, looking back at the group but Harry kept watching her, "I'm not even sure they all know how to play Quidditch, Potter."

Harry let out an exasperated breath, turning his focus back to the problem at hand. How on earth was he going to narrow down this many students? He could see his parents alongside Remus and Sirius entering the bleachers above them. James waved eagerly and Harry waved back. This seemed to draw Violet's attention and she smiled in amusement, "They all came to watch you?"

"My mum always comes to practices and such, this is no difference," he pointed out, "And Emery is trying out so Remus wanted to be here. Sirius and James were already here for a meeting with the O-" Harry cut himself off quickly, turning away from the girl as his face no doubt turned a bright red. He focused for a short moment on not allowing his hair to change color.

"A meeting with?" Violet pressed, turning to face him. She crossed her arms over her chest, a questioning look in her expression. He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing seemed to come out. He could tell her. He didn't think she'd do anything with the information, and besides, it didn't matter if she did anyway. He didn't tell her anything important. And yet, a small part of him, a very small voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut. Everyone's words floated back to him, If Draco is a Death Eater, why couldn't Violet be?

His gaze flickered to her arms despite himself and she seemed to notice this, which led to him quickly looking away. She frowned, looking down at her forearm before tucking it closer to herself, "Right."

"Violet, I-" but before he could explain, one of the girl's trying out approached him.

"Hey, Harry!" they greeted, a smile gracing their face.

"Hi," he spoke in return, a bit annoyed that she interrupted him and Violet's conversation. "Everyone should be waiting over there," he told her and the girl's gaze shifted to Violet for the briefest moment before focusing on him. "I'll be with everyone in just a moment."

"Actually," she pulled something out of her pocket, "I just wanted to give this to you."

"Er, okay," he said, taking it from her. He turned it over in his hand, "Thanks?" She laughed before taking off - not in the direction of everyone else but back to the school. "What was that about?"

"Open the card and find out," Violet suggested, though her tone was more distant than before.

Harry did as suggested and opened the letter to unveil a note from the girl. He skimmed it over, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he read what he assumed to be a request to be his date to the next Hogsmeade weekend. Which reminded him, "Hey, Violet-" but when he looked up, she was gone.

author's note:

this author's note is coming post update because i forgot about it.

this chapter took me a ridiculously long time but i hope you guys enjoyed!!! she's not edited but she's here!

draco was a dick (as always) but we got to see a bit of violet's coping mechanism. she's so me with shoving the headphones on and blocking out the world.

we got our first sirius pov in this fic which is exciting, sirius and james are definitely the guys who go back to high school after graduating - prove me wrong.

we also got an emery pov!!! emery is my favorite and i love her so i hope you guys enjoyed! it's been interesting writing in so many different tones for this fic, honestly.

next chapter, we get to see more mila so look out for that!

later, losers!