Dear parents,

It's been a while, huh? I have to change my opening now.

There's a reason I wrote you today.

These are the things that scare me the most. These are the ways I've learned to cope with losing you, and dad, and... I just don't know what else to do.

I've found myself staring at the scissors on the desk a little too long.

Thinking about he rope in the garden shed and what a wonderful necklace it would make a little too much.

Wondering what would happen if I just left this place for good and joined you. What the aftermath would be. And then I see Aiko, and those thoughts disappear.

How's Mori?

How's Aiko's only other reason to live doing up there behind the pearly gates? Or at least I hope that's where he landed himself. Who knows, maybe he's up there in Keaven with Gosh. I've heard it's like Heaven, but a little shittier.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm out of it. Nothing I say or do makes sense anymore. I've screamed into my pillow more times than I can count. I've found a bedtime habit of crying myself to sleep. I consistently draw little frowny faces and broken hearts on the inside of my wrist. Wanna know the worst part?

I've found the same drawings on the inside of Aiko's.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Love,
Sophie