Chapter 21
Back Off! He's My Boyfriend

Derek singing makes me want to hit the back of his head. Probably it's one of the Lady Gaga songs he has listened to. There are times that Derek is so funny you would hate him, and sometimes, his timing is awful. Like what he has just done a minute or so ago. He sang something dirty knowing that Dale was here with me. I turn around and give him an awkward smile, but he's already grinning, shrugging as if he doesn't have a care.

My heart races faster as he slings his arm around my neck, hanging on my shoulder and he pushes me closer to him. I flush, pursing my lips, trying to hide the blush that I know my cheeks are showing. He smell of cinnamon; I love cinnamons, especially if it's on the bread, or a coffee, and chocolate drinks. Dale and I don't have the same class, and I know for a fact that we're taking an opposite route, considering his classroom is south and we're heading north.

"Hi Dale," a girl with the long curly blonde hair flowing free down her shoulders says to Dale, and Dale just tips his head in acknowledgement. I nearly grin, but the girl's arm stretches out and puts a palm on my boyfriend's shoulder. I grit my teeth. "I was wondering if you could come to our house... you know, to have fun. The others will be there, too." She hastily adds. I don't need to ask what her definition of having fun is. I want to say: Back off! He's my boyfriend.

I have this huge expectation that Dale will decline her offer in front of me, but no Dale, him being himself, says something. "Um, sure, Carla, why not?" the girl squeals, basically jumping like a kid and just when I think that their conversation will not last, but no, Carla – this bitch – chats up with my boyfriend about what he thinks of her having a pet dog. I nearly spat that she is a pet dog, but hold back myself. I duck, making Dale's arm fall on his side and he looks at me, brows drawn together and I just give him a shrug with a blank look on my face as I walk backwards, then I turn around and leave him with Carla and I hope they have a nice chat. Not.

Turning left, I half-jog to my classroom since the warning bell will ring in five minutes and I don't want to be late. I have been so stressed lately that I haven't had time to work on my studies and if ever I fail one subject, my parents will totally kill me. Education is important, my mother had said.

I head inside my class, take a seat, and sit throughout the class, my head filled with Dale-thoughts.

Jealousy is still coursing through me, all over my body, going up in my head and I block out all the noise. Calming my breathing, I think of Dale telling me that he wanted to try things with me, to be together with him, and it helps me relaxed. But that doesn't take off the jealousy still inside me. I mean, I know that Dale is with me now, but it's not like the whole school knows about it. We're just like gems buried underneath a pile of sands and debris and garbage, still shining though.

The voice of the teacher drifts out, and all I can hear is the faint beat of my heart in my ears. I rest my palm on my chest where my beating heart lies, and every beat of it, it screams the name of my boyfriend. It feels like he's still not mine. It feels like he doesn't belong with me. It's just the same. Nothing new. My heart still wants Dale. My body still wants Dale. My head still flashes the images of Dale. There's nothing new. Jealousy is still there, but I cannot show it to the public because I'm not sure whether Dale would like us to go public, to let people know about us. It's not really a big thing for me, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like if people know that we're together. Will the girls still to continue flirt at him, knowing that he has already a boyfriend? Will the other gays stop stalking him (just like what I did before) knowing that he's Beau St. Clair's boyfriend?

"Hey," Dustin greets me, beaming brightly at me. Half of his tattoo is visible as the other half is hidden underneath the sleeve of his uniform. "Been calling you and you have spaced out. Something wrong?"

I almost say Dale's name, but the teacher cuts us off. "It seems like Mr. Frazetto and Mr. St. Clair have a rather interesting topic than what I'm telling the class. Mind sharing it to the whole class? We feel like we're being left out." The evil teacher nods at Dustin and he shakes his head, smiling awkwardly. The students turn to look at us, some of them snickering as they watch us. "Next time you interrupt the class, both of you will get out." We mutter a yes, and then watch her. The teacher turns on her heel and begin lecturing again, and her voice fades out. Dustin mouths: later to me and I nod at him.

We wait for the teacher to finish her discussion, and as soon as the bell rings, I immediately grab my backpack and head outside without waiting for Dustin. Dustin emerges from my side a few seconds and drapes his arm across my shoulders. I begin telling him about Carla, who invited my boyfriend in her house to, she said and I quote, 'have fun' and that I was expecting Dale to decline but he didn't and accepted the offer. Dustin doesn't say anything for a moment, and I'm not expecting him to. I just feel like I need to talk to someone about this, or I might blow. Derek emerges from the other side and greets me, before taking off and running away. Dustin and I watch his retreating figure and shake our heads.

"Dale... he's friendly, I guess." Dustin says, and scrunches up his nose in a cute manner. His lips twitch, and I chuckle. "I mean, girls are dying to have him. Gays... not me, by the way, they want Dale. And Dale is basically the heartthrob of the school... so dating him will be, a little I guess, a pain in the ass."

"You don't say," I say to him, agreeing.

As if on cue, as if he knows that we're talking about him, Dale emerges from my side and removes Dustin's hand around my neck. He throws him a glare and excuses us both. Dale basically drags me. I turn around and give Dustin a weak smile. Dustin just shakes his head, smiles at me, turns on his heel, and goes away. Sighing, I turn my head to look at the fuming boyfriend beside me, who basically looks like he's about to kill someone. He brings us to the Garden of Luck, and when we reach the garden, he looks at me, crosses his arms, and arches his brow at me as if he's expecting me to explain things to him.

I have to go to my next class. "Why did you run away?" he asks demandingly, sort of glaring at me.

"Really?" I ask, suddenly pissed. "Why don't you ask yourself why I ran away?"

"Is it because of Carla?"

"Bingo,"

"Look, there's nothing going on between us," Dale states, his voice almost pleading. He cups his my face with both of his hands and rests his forehead against mine. His minty breath fans my face, and he leans down to plant a soft kiss on my lips. I freeze, because we're on public. "After you ran away, I realized what I've done. Of course I don't want to spend my day or night with her or her friends. I want to spend my time with you."

"We're in public," I say to him, sighing. Realizing that, Dale takes a step back and looks around, checking if someone has seen us. So I'm correct. He doesn't want us to go public, and he doesn't want anyone knowing other than Gloss, his best friend. "Let's talk about this later. In private." I say to him and he nods in response. I walk away and head to my next class, leaving him in the Garden of Luck.

The next classes of mine are boring, and it's killing me. My mind always drifts to Dale and how it pains me that I really know that he doesn't want us to go public. I thought that it was okay for me, but it's not. It's not okay for me. Every time girls will look at him, approach him without anyone judging them, it is fine with other people. Gays look at him from afar, from the distance, and I'm one of them.

This relationship is complicated.

I thought that once we are together, I'd be the happiest man in the world. I am happy, though. But I can't have all the fun and happiness in the world, I guess. I have a thought that Dale is still in his confusion phase, or in-denial phase. He's still trying to process everything going around; his sudden attraction to me, having a relationship with a man, things like that. Sometimes I wonder if he'd figure out himself as soon as possible.

At lunch I watch the girls approach him, asking for his number, and he just politely declines. Our eyes meet; his table is just a few tables away from mine. I'm currently sharing the table with Gloss, Ashton, Kaila, and Homer. Dale is sitting along with the basketball team. He never comes. He never goes to our table to have a lunch with us.

Letting out a sigh, I eat my baked mac n' cheese with no interest at all, and Gloss notices my attitude. He turns his head over his shoulder to look at his best friend and then looks back at me. I just shrug, and shoving a spoonful of mac n' cheese inside my mouth and chew slowly, as if I'm tired.

My eyes are trained on my boyfriend as I eat, and at this time, I feel like he's not my boyfriend at all, like we aren't together. Girls from the cheering squad join the basketball team, and they remind me of Chelsie, the ex-girlfriend of Noah, Gloss' boyfriend. Chelsie was a slutty one who cheated on Noah with his best friend Mike, who turned out to be gay as well and currently in a relationship with the hottest cop ever. She had been expelled from the school though and I heard that she's currently attending a school that is near here and currently in a relationship with a nerd.

The bell rings.

I tell my friends that I'd see them later, and tell Derek to not drive me home. He reluctantly agrees, and must have sensed that there's something wrong because he looks at me with a knowing look, that tells me that I should tell him later everything. I nod at him and head to my next class.

The day goes by fast, but it does not prevent me from getting bored.

As the last bell rings for today, I begin to head outside the school without waiting for my friends. Walking alone and having a time of myself will help me think things through. I begin to contemplate whether Dale and I's relationship is healthy for the both of us.

It's like a cancer.

Level one, and if this has not been taken care of immediately, it will grow and grow and grow until we die, until we're over. It hurts to know that our relationship may lead to ending, but there's this hope inside me that keeps flickering, that keeps saying that someday we'll tell the world that we're together. Us against the world.

The quotation might not be for today, and it might not be for tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, but I believe that one day, that will happen. I'm not going to say that it will never happen in my life, never in a million years. Because one day, it will be us against the world.