Chapter 11
Mother's Wisdom

"That's not gonna happen, young man!" I hear my father yelling as he goes down the stairs as he glares his eyes at us, most likely directed at Dustin. His eyes are blazing fire, as if he has seen the person he has hated the most in his life for the first time. It's like him looking at the bane of his life. My father's face is red, cheeks red, and his arms are crossed across his chest, arching a brow at us. "No kissing."

I don't know whether to feel ashamed or happy. Dustin and I almost kissed, and that was supposed to make me happy, but then my father came barging in here, stopping us from doing so. This is what I hate about my father. Sometimes he overacts just like me, and now that he has caught me doing something unusual, he will most likely give me the talk. "Seriously, dad. You've ruined the moment!"

"What moment?" my father asks. Dustin is about to say something, opening his mouth, when my father gives him an icy glare and he closes his mouth shut. He's flushed, and by the way he fumbles with his fingers, I just know how he's scared he is, or embarrassed for that matter. It's not like every day your father is catching you about to make-out with a hot guy, especially if he isn't your boyfriend in the first place. But that's beside the point. My father ruined the moment. "You are having no moment with this guy! He's not even your boyfriend. How come you were about to make-out with him? I'm a guy, and I know how men's mind works!"

"I'm a guy." I say, putting up my best poker face.

My mother goes down the stairs, stopping behind my father and she puts a hand on his shoulder. My father and mother share a look, and they seem to be having a conversation with just their eyes. They're husband and wife, of course they can have a telepathic conversation with each other. After a moment of staring at each other, my father sighs and looks at me. Perhaps my mother doesn't really care if I'm about to make-out with some guy. My mother always lets me. She said, I remember when I was 14 years old and we were in France – and that's the first time she said that to me, that she's not going to interfere with the decisions I'm making and that I should take the full responsibility because that's what would mold me best. Experiences, she lectured, are the best teachers.

She puts a strand of her hair behind her ear, and smiles at my father as if she's just happy to be by my father's side, and I know how true that is. My father sighs again, as if this is exhausting him. I understand his reaction; he never wants his son's heart get broken, but it did already, and I've recovered from it. There's no need to let him know about that.

Dustin is still beside me, doing nothing but staring at my parents. His expression softens upon seeing my parents. In his eyes, I can see how he craves for his parents' attention, the love and attention he wants from them. He has said to me that they're always on business tours and meetings, which means they're not always at home, which means Dustin is always alone in his house. He has said that to me already, but it's just sinking into my head.

As if carrying the world on his shoulders, my father turns around and grumbles something under his breath and goes upstairs. My mother just smiles at us, motioning for us to continue what we were doing earlier. Now the moment has been ruined already, I don't know whether we'd still have a chance to kiss. Since my father's outburst, perhaps Dustin doesn't like kissing me anymore. I mean, I totally understand it.

Dustin takes my hand, and the warmth of his hand feels good against mine. His hand is calloused yet it's softer than what I've expected. He keeps my hand in his, squeezing it every now and then. For a moment, neither is speaking, and a comfortable silence is looming over us. My heart races again, and there's this bubbly feeling inside me, telling me to never let go of his hand. "Let's date," he says, stretching the word as he looks at me, his eyes holding something positive, "officially. I mean, I'm interested on you, Beau. I... I want to get to know you more."

"Date date, you mean, together?" I ask him dumbly, my brows furrowed. "Or date, as in, eating outside, having fun, strolling across the park, that kind of date?"

He chuckles, amusement lingering in his eyes. "The latter, which will eventually lead to the former,"

"Oh," I say, dumbfounded. "Okay."

His face lightens up; he looks like a kid in a Christmas tree, waiting to open up his present. He has a toothy grin, and the way he looks at me makes my heart beat race faster. Shocking me, his arms wrap around me, and my mouth agape, not really expecting it. Hesitantly, I wrap my arms around him, my hand rubbing his back as I rest my chin on his shoulder, savoring his touch. His skin feels warm against mine, and his hot breath tickles my neck as he breathes in and out, his lips merely touching the skin of my neck, which makes me shiver. He pulls away from me and smiles brightly.

Good thing that today is Saturday, which means there's no school tomorrow. I'm not prepared to see Dale yet, and if I see him, it's just going to cause me distress. I just need a time alone to think. Yet here I am, not alone, already making decisions. Dustin tweaks my nose and I pout at him like a child, making him chuckle.

Dustin stands up, and my heart drops. I just don't want to see him go yet, and if I make him stay for the night, I'm going to have an earful of lecture from my sensitive father. I stand up and lead him to the front door of the house. He opens the door and stands on the porch. Another silence looms over us, and he takes a step towards me, making our bodies press together, and plants a kiss on my forehead. His lips are hot on my skin, and his lips leave a tingling sensation across my forever. I'm not going to wash my forehead tonight, I say to myself.

Turning on his heels, he begins to walk away from me and as I watch him, I can't help but think of Dale. I feel like a slut, I think. Here he is, a man who is willing to try dating with me, and my mind just keeps flashing images of Dale, which is unfair to me and Dustin. I'm willing to try being together with Dustin, but I'm just not sure if it's going to work out. Dustin and I share something, but it's not enough. It must be stronger, right? Dustin turns, walking backwards, and he waves at me, a goofy grin plastered on his features and I wave back at him, chuckling. Once he gets inside his truck, which is just parked a few meters away from my house, he immediately drives away.

When I turn around, my mother is there, standing, back perched on the doorway the leads to the kitchen. She has a thoughtful look on her face, and at the same time, I can see the worried look she has in her eyes. Our eyes lock for a moment before she walks towards me while giving me a motherly smile. "He seemed to be worried when he came here looking for you. Would you like to tell me about it?" she asks and I nod at her without giving it a second thought. "Don't worry. This will be our little secret. We'll leave your father out of this." She winks at me and I laugh lightly.

We take a seat on the couch and my mother whips her head to the back, checking to see if father has come downstairs. He doesn't. My mother looks at me, silently urging me to tell the story to her. "Well, first. Dustin and I have met because of Melody. And then we started hanging out because we felt comfortable with each other. So when we started hanging out, I had this illusion that perhaps he might be the one who would... who would take my infatuation away from a straight guy, who I'm sure will never return the feelings back. Fast forward, I slept over at his house, remember the time I told you that I was going to have a sleepover at a friend's house?" My mother nods. "I slept at his house because he was so lonely and I just wanted to be there for him. But don't worry, we didn't do anything other than talking. We slept, separate rooms. When we woke up, we decided that we'd go to Starbucks just to get breakfast and we went there, but then after ordering, I saw him. I thought the world was a small world, and then we were invited to table with them. He was – is –the straight guy I was infatuated with, and then I realized one thing, I liked him. Then he started giving me these looks that I couldn't understand, that confused me, and when Dustin and I were talking or having a moment, he kept bumping his knee, kept interrupting us, and that confused me as well. It seemed like he was trying to gain my attention, and then he caught my attention. He always does. Then my friends started talking about the upcoming Halloween, and they were talking about outfits, or costumes, or whatever, but then he told everyone that he knew a store where cool outfits for Halloween were being sold, and he stated that he'd only bring me there and not anyone. I was really confused because his girlfriend, I think, who's also my friend, was there. I think my friend was her girlfriend, but I'm not sure. They keep shaking these love-y dove-y looks every time. Then I just couldn't take it anymore so I bolted out of the store and ran away like a coward and I left Dustin with them and then I had to treat myself; I bought a chocolate ice cream and took off, rode a taxi, and I found out that Dustin went here and now we're here."

The whole time, my mother just listens to me, not interrupting me. Her eyes are focused on me, and the small smile in her lips never wavers; that's one of the qualities she has that I really, really love. She's really understanding mother and all and I couldn't ask for more.

She cups my cheek, drawing circles on my cheek with her thumb and smiles motherly at me. "This is the time that I'm going to butt into your love life," she says softly, her hand feels warm against my skin. "As a mother, I don't want to see my son getting hurt. I don't want that to happen to you again. We have no control of our feelings, and it just flows naturally. The more you resist, the more you will see what you desire most. I'm not saying that you should not ignore what you feel towards the straight man, just go along with it. It's like you're driving, and you have no control of the roads where you're going to take, and you will just pass the obstacles, traffic jams, accidents and all by. In the end, you will reach your destination safely, as long as you put safety first."

"Does that mean I'm going to get a car?" I say, chuckling lightly.

"No," she says, frowning and rolling her eyes. "Know this by heart, Beau. Not everything we want will be in our hands. Sometimes it's better for them to be in other's hands and not yours."