Shyros = Me & Pyros75
This is a Christmas present for Laura and Liza. Merry shickmas!

It was raining outside on the day we met. I was working at a cafe in order to keep my scholarship at a prestigious all boys academy, but also to build my man harem using the students and teachers who went to the school.
I remember serving that one teacher who kinda looked like a vampire when she walked in. I was taken aback instantly. She was gorgeous with curly blonde hair and the most amazing blue eyes I had ever seen.
She carried a sketch book under her arm, raindrops soaking into the paper like raindrops soaking into the paper cover of a sketchbook.
"H-hi! Can I help you?" I stuttered, amazed that a person this amazing could exist.
"I'll just have a hot chocolate." She sat down and instantly began drawing. I couldn't move my legs, I was so amazed.
I eventually gained my footing, but I tripped. My body wasn't my own anymore. It was taken by the goddess before me.
Strong arms caught me around my waist, keeping me from hitting the ground.
"Are you okay?" She asked me.
"I...I am now." I blushed.
She helped me steady my body and then went back to sketching. I was wondering what she was drawing so I leaned over her shoulder.
"Whoa! That's amazing!" I gasped. The drawing was a picture of a dick sprawled out over a couch with a rose in its penis flaps. I was taken aback by its beauty.
"Thank you."
"Do you think...you could draw me like that?"
"W-What?"
"I want a portrait to give to my cat for her birthday."
"You'll have to pay for it."
"How much. I'm part of the royal family and have a lot of money."
She blushed just because. "R-really?"
"Yeah."
"Are you Count Olaf?"
"No....?????"
"OMG! You're my soul mate! My psychic told me I would meet I beautiful Asexual lesbian in a man harem Café with soft brown hair and the eyes of a demon."
I blushed, not planning to tell her that the psychic was an agent for the CIA and that I hired her to help me pick up chicks.
"Y-you really think I'm beautiful?"
"Sí."
"Well...I can't be any more beautiful than you."
"Nonsense."
"Senpai, will you go on a date with me?" I got down on one knee.
"Of course!" She swooned.

(...)

Two weeks later we met at the park in matching T-Rex outfits. She looked so fucking hot in hers. Like, damn.
"One of us is going to have to change." She said.
"I will." I spun around like a sim and was suddenly wearing  knee length denim shorts and that T shirt with the dogs having sex on it. You know, the one I put on when my mom tells me not to wear my bra around the house.
I was also wearing crocs and shutter shades.
She stared at me like the Tomboy character on prom night in a high school movie.
"You're beautiful."
"You're even more beautiful."
"Let's have ten babies."
"Yes. Let's."
So we went into a bush and made one baby because there are laws in the communist country of Espanada in which we lived.
I held the baby in my arms because I was the pregnant one.
"It's beautiful. We should name it Elizabeth but call it Liza so much that Facebook gets confused when I try to tag it in memes."
"Yes." She agreed. "We should also feed it powdered milk so it comes out as a lesbian."
"I agree."
We got married three weeks later and I got a job as a receptionist at the CN tower so my wifie could have all the bestest $8 art markers just like she deserved.
Life was pretty good. Until I had a heart attack from a dank meme.
I died in her arms two days before Christmas and Liza married a stick bug.
I am now a ghosty ghost haunting our house.
Everything is Spoopy.
The end.

Merry Christmas, Laura and Liza.  You should expect sin from me by now.